Episode 169 - The Curse Of Sherlee Johnson 1 - With Guest Thomas Hunt!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Mister, please, can you help me? I'm trying to go home. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Home? Kid, you're in hell. There is no home. Good evening and welcome to the Malibols. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best Spawn podcast. I am your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:51] Speaker C: And I am your co host, David Williams, co hostess, co hoster with the moster. [00:00:57] Speaker B: Most what, David? [00:01:00] Speaker C: The most charisma. The most dogs. With the most dogs. Woo. Look at this little guy. I got a lot of dogs. Got a lot of dogs up in this house. You know, my favorite thing is to tell people how many dogs I have and have them go, what? How do you have that many dogs? [00:01:16] Speaker B: You lost your headphones on that? [00:01:17] Speaker A: I did. [00:01:19] Speaker C: I have never before wished that we were doing a video version of this podcast. [00:01:25] Speaker B: That was wizard. [00:01:26] Speaker C: That was. That was Wizard Annie. [00:01:28] Speaker A: This is so Wizard Annie. [00:01:31] Speaker C: Speaking of wizard, Johnny, I feel [00:01:37] Speaker A: I like this angle. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Tom's doing a really weird angle on zoom. [00:01:44] Speaker C: Sorry. [00:01:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:45] Speaker B: This is great audio content, fellas. [00:01:48] Speaker C: It's perfect. We got the headphones falling off. We got the Tom trying to give us the view from his pelvis. Oh, I guess that means we should probably introduce our. Our guest host for the. For the evening. [00:02:02] Speaker B: Yes. We have a third host with us. We got a new number one, so we figured we'd bring in somebody for it. We got CBO Thomas Sebastian Hunt. [00:02:15] Speaker C: We got him. We got him. He's here. We got him. [00:02:18] Speaker B: Tulsa raconteur, [00:02:21] Speaker C: ladies and gentlemen, in the [00:02:22] Speaker A: Epstein files, we got him. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Not on the Epstein list. [00:02:25] Speaker C: That we know of. [00:02:26] Speaker A: That we know of yet. There's 100 million files, so. [00:02:29] Speaker B: But yeah, I'm just gonna ask Chat GBT real quick. [00:02:35] Speaker A: They're like, there's several people named Thomas Hunt in the FC files. I'm like, what the. [00:02:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:41] Speaker A: How's it going, guys? [00:02:43] Speaker C: It's going well. How are you? [00:02:44] Speaker A: Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me back. This is awesome. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Second time. [00:02:48] Speaker C: We love it. [00:02:48] Speaker A: I'm excited to do this. [00:02:51] Speaker C: I haven't laughed so hard at something that I've done myself, as I did the last time you were on the show. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Nice. [00:02:58] Speaker B: I love that, David. [00:03:00] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. [00:03:01] Speaker C: I do laugh at myself a lot, but, like, you know, that's a different kind of laughing. [00:03:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:03:07] Speaker A: The riff and the riff. Laugh. The riff and laugh. [00:03:13] Speaker B: The riff and laughing. [00:03:14] Speaker A: The riff and laughing. Riff and laugh. [00:03:16] Speaker B: How's it up there in Chicago, David? [00:03:19] Speaker C: It was like. It was like 62 degrees today. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:03:24] Speaker C: Yeah, it's supposed to be. It's supposed to Be like mid. Mid to upper 50s for the rest of the week too. And then it's supposed to snow on Friday, so. Well, there you go, you know, you know how it goes. [00:03:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:35] Speaker B: What's the city of buzz about right now? What's the. What's. What's the going on? [00:03:39] Speaker C: Oh, geez, I'm the worst person in the world to ask about that. Well, tomorrow's Pachki day, so, I mean, it'll be a couple of weeks gone when this episode comes out, but you know that Fat Tuesday, that Fat Tuesday action. [00:03:56] Speaker B: What are pachis, David? [00:03:58] Speaker C: Well, they're. Oh, I always describe them as Polish donuts, but every Polish person I've ever met likes to tell me how wrong that is. But they're an enriched dough and they're fried. And then they're usually filled with a cream or a fruit. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Yes, you'll get a bunch of them at Polish places around Chicago. [00:04:19] Speaker C: I know there's a Polish restaurant in Tulsa that you should see. I'll have to look up what the name is and send it to you later. But I've been trying to get my friends to see if they have putchkes. [00:04:31] Speaker B: I'm sure they do. [00:04:32] Speaker A: What's the significance of the day? Is there a day. Is it the King? [00:04:35] Speaker C: Well, it's Fat Tuesday. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Oh, Fat Tuesday. Okay. [00:04:37] Speaker C: Yeah, you gotta get yourself a king cake too. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Go get me that baby grogu. [00:04:44] Speaker A: Get that baby grogu and go get a drink at, I don't know, New Orleans place. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Nola. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Nola. No. [00:04:54] Speaker B: They started putting in Mexico for their king cakes. They started putting little baby grogu in them. That's not a lie. [00:04:59] Speaker C: Yeah, why would. Why wouldn't you want a little baby grogu? It's way better. Way better than a little baby Jesus. Sorry. Little baby Jesus. [00:05:06] Speaker A: I guess that's true. [00:05:09] Speaker C: If you're gonna. If you're gonna break your tooth biting into something, it might as well be on the cutest little fucker in the universe, Right? [00:05:15] Speaker A: Little baby Groko. [00:05:18] Speaker B: He's gonna be in a big old movie. [00:05:19] Speaker A: Virgin birth. He was another virgin birth. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Was he? [00:05:23] Speaker A: No, I'm just kidding. I have no idea. [00:05:26] Speaker B: No, you had a yaddle. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. I don't actually know the whole history [00:05:32] Speaker B: of groku, But Roku's like 60 years old. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:05:36] Speaker A: That's sad. [00:05:37] Speaker C: He's an old man. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Talk for your first 60 years of your life. It's up. [00:05:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:05:41] Speaker A: Like, yeah, when do you get bigger? [00:05:44] Speaker B: Yoda's like 900 years old. [00:05:45] Speaker C: Yeah, he was 900. So. [00:05:47] Speaker A: So it's like biblical stuff. Like. [00:05:50] Speaker C: So you're saying Methuselah was a. Whatever the Yoda yaddle Grogu is. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And like, Moses was like, grogu. [00:05:59] Speaker B: How long did Moses live? [00:06:01] Speaker A: I don't know, like, 500 years or some shit. [00:06:03] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. He was supposed to have lived for at least triple digits, at least 300. [00:06:08] Speaker B: I heard someone told me one time that people used to live forever because there was. Before the flood. [00:06:12] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what the. [00:06:14] Speaker B: And the flood, like, invented mo. Mold. [00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah, mold and sin. Yeah, RFK actually said that. He's like, it's mold and sand is actually called. [00:06:27] Speaker B: It's because we didn't get the unicorns on the ark. That's why we all are dying, dude. [00:06:30] Speaker A: For real. Think about that. And they can fly too. Like, that's. They're like, literally, like, stabbing them off the ark. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Yeah, because podcast aliens are real. [00:06:44] Speaker A: No way, dude. He did like. Like non human. Like the non human ones. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Yeah, he was like alien. He was all aliens are real on, like, a podcast. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, well, like, dude, whatever. I don't know. I'm not convinced. David, have you seen that? [00:07:00] Speaker C: I have. No. Johnny was just talking about it. Last episode. The episode before. One of the last. A couple episodes. [00:07:07] Speaker A: Pretty good. [00:07:07] Speaker C: I. I totally. I mean, it would be stupid to think that we're the only sentient beings in the galaxy. [00:07:13] Speaker B: They've been here, David. [00:07:15] Speaker C: I think. I think we. We probably. They would be sufficiently divergently evolved from the way we are that we just probably wouldn't know about each other. [00:07:26] Speaker A: That's. That's how. That's what I think. I think that they would be so evolved that we wouldn't even know. [00:07:31] Speaker B: We'll just whatever their experiment, we barely know. [00:07:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:38] Speaker A: It's just like. I don't know, man. Why would they come down here? [00:07:42] Speaker B: We're like, because we're their fucking experiment. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Little baby. We're like little babies. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Also. They might be coming from the fucking ocean. [00:07:47] Speaker A: We're like, Grokus, dude. We're like the Grokus. [00:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah, they think it's funny. [00:07:51] Speaker C: Well, I guess if they come from [00:07:52] Speaker B: the ocean because they're reptilians and like the Grays. So they think that monkeys are, like, running a world. They probably think that's funny. [00:07:58] Speaker A: With, like, cars and stuff. They're like. They're like. [00:08:00] Speaker B: Yeah, they're cracking up. The car wrecks. They watch, like, brutal car wrecks. [00:08:08] Speaker C: Horrible. [00:08:09] Speaker B: Just, like, dying their asses off. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Horrible. [00:08:16] Speaker B: There's like, rewind. That shit. [00:08:21] Speaker A: Oh, man, that's. [00:08:22] Speaker C: It's a bit heavy to put on somebody so late in the day now. I'm not going to be able to think of anything else. I'm not going to be able to think of the fun hell nonsense that we were going to talk about the. The child dismemberment, etc. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Well, there are plenty of people that are in car accidents that go to hell, so that's true. That's a good segue as well. So do you pronounce her name Shirley or Shirley? [00:08:50] Speaker B: What's the difference in what you just [00:08:51] Speaker A: said Shirley and Shirley? I don't know. Is it just Shirley? [00:08:56] Speaker B: Okay, surely I like Shirley because that's what we're talking about today. Because we are respawn regarding spawn, where each week we're bringing two issues from sponsor universe. Except when we don't. This week is no different because we're not bringing you two issues. And it's in the contract. Yeah, every week. [00:09:17] Speaker C: Although. Because quite obvious this was two issues before they switched it into one. [00:09:23] Speaker B: It kind of was obvious it was two issues. Well, they switched into one. And so we're doing it as long as it's a big number one. And it is Shirley Johnson. The curse of Shirley Johnson, number one. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Shirley Johnson, comma, the curse of Shirley Johnson. Or as all of us knew it before they changed the name, no home here. [00:09:43] Speaker B: It was originally supposed to be called no home here, Tom. [00:09:48] Speaker A: That's cool. [00:09:49] Speaker C: I got the poster upstairs. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Wow. [00:09:52] Speaker C: I moved it up with all the rest of the posters. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Wow. [00:09:56] Speaker B: The secret room where Wanda lets you hang posters. [00:10:00] Speaker C: Yes, yes. Right next to my fox. My commemorative lithograph. Thank you very much. [00:10:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Oh. [00:10:10] Speaker C: I don't know if we talked about this with you yet, Tom, but fucking Fox and the hound was one of my favorite movies as a child. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Oh, so sad. It's so sad. [00:10:19] Speaker C: If that doesn't explain a lot about me, I don't know what it does. [00:10:23] Speaker A: You know that the. [00:10:24] Speaker B: They both die in it or they just become not friends. [00:10:26] Speaker C: No, they. They're. They're forced to. They're forced to hunt each other. Stop seeing each other. Because. Because if the. If the hunter. If the hunter sees them playing with each other again, he'll shoot him. And the. The old. The old hippie lady who just takes in all the animals is like, todd, you got to get the fuck out of here. This guy's gonna kill you. [00:10:45] Speaker A: Yep. And then the book. In the book. In the book, they grow up and they grow old, and he eventually does Kill him. He chases him and he chases him to exhaustion. And so the book's a little bit different. [00:10:59] Speaker C: Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. [00:11:00] Speaker A: Isn't that crazy? Like when they get. When he gets. He gets too old and he like raises. [00:11:04] Speaker C: That's some. That's somewhere the red fern grows. [00:11:06] Speaker B: I know. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Isn't that crazy? I was like, oh, that's horrible. I'm glad they changed that. Yeah, they just. They just went their separate way. But it's still very sad. As a kid watching that movie, I was like, oh, my God. [00:11:19] Speaker B: It was one of the Disney movies. I wasn't really exposed to. We didn't own it. I never rented it. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Was it tristar or was it Disney? [00:11:26] Speaker B: It was Disney. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Dang. That's crazy. [00:11:30] Speaker B: Tim Burton worked on it. [00:11:31] Speaker C: Yeah, I. I don't think they. I don't think the company trusted it in any way, shape or form. And we're just like, yeah, just let it. Just let it mellow. [00:11:39] Speaker B: It was during their big lull. It was like right before the Disney renaissance. When they had Black Cauldron. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. [00:11:46] Speaker B: Like Song of the South. [00:11:47] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. [00:11:48] Speaker B: God. I don't remember. [00:11:49] Speaker A: That was like Charlotte. No. Charlotte's Web wasn't one. Crap. [00:11:52] Speaker B: Remember they always called him masterpieces. And I was like, who? I was a kid. [00:11:55] Speaker A: Masterpiece. Masterpieces. That's hilarious. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Because it's like the Masterpiece Collection was like the big vhs. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. Walt Disney from the grave. He's like, it's a masterpiece. [00:12:08] Speaker C: A masterpiece. [00:12:09] Speaker A: It's a mouse masterpiece. Yeah, It's Mickey Mouse himself determines who knows he's. [00:12:15] Speaker C: That's ostensibly his job. Right? [00:12:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:18] Speaker C: That mouse has to do something. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Mickey Mouse comes from a lot of minstrel stereotypes. [00:12:22] Speaker C: Yeah. With the gloves. A lot of the original animation does because that was obviously the. The style that they were copying off of. Yeah. Exaggerations. They're like, these people fits animation better. [00:12:38] Speaker A: These people are cartoons. [00:12:40] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:12:42] Speaker A: The two thirds human and 11 third cartoon. [00:12:48] Speaker B: Yeah. This is Imp Residents Day. We're recording. So there probably were races. [00:12:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:53] Speaker A: Probably super racist. [00:12:55] Speaker B: George Washington with his wooden teeth. [00:12:57] Speaker A: And they were really slave seats. [00:12:59] Speaker C: Yeah, his. His slave's teeth. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:13:03] Speaker A: You knew that, right? [00:13:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I knew that. [00:13:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:05] Speaker B: I was baiting you for it. [00:13:06] Speaker A: You're baiting me. [00:13:08] Speaker C: I had a friend, I have a friend who actually had some dental work done today. And I was like, don't let him give you the George Washington special, please. The last thing you need, somebody else's teeth in your mouth. Especially ill gotten teeth. [00:13:20] Speaker A: How ill Gotten teeth. [00:13:22] Speaker B: That sounds like they stick them in there. What they do? [00:13:24] Speaker C: Well, they. They, like, made a bridge out of them, but they were. They were like, wait, for my friend or for George Washington. [00:13:30] Speaker B: For George Washington. [00:13:31] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. They basically just made a set of dentures that he could take in and out, only it was. [00:13:35] Speaker B: They were really. Okay. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Yeah. So are those, like, on a museum somewhere? [00:13:40] Speaker C: I thought they. I thought they were in the Smithsonian. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Wow, that's crazy. Maybe. [00:13:45] Speaker C: Maybe not now, because, you know that never happened, right? [00:13:48] Speaker A: Yeah. That was like, I got to get rid of it. What's it called? [00:13:51] Speaker C: Align with our national identity. [00:13:53] Speaker A: It's called, like, the Trump Building now. It's not even called the Smithsonian. It's just called, like, Trump. Trump to Trump Building Museum. [00:14:02] Speaker B: So dinosaurs aren't real? [00:14:04] Speaker C: Trump. Trump to artistic boogaloo. [00:14:06] Speaker A: Yeah. I can't wait till he changes President's Day to Trump Day. He's like, trump Day. [00:14:12] Speaker B: I know. [00:14:13] Speaker A: It's gonna be great. [00:14:14] Speaker C: The only Trump Day I want to hear about is one that's about trumpets. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:14:19] Speaker C: And blowing. [00:14:19] Speaker B: Yes. The Trump Day. When the seventh Trump comes. When rapture happens. [00:14:23] Speaker C: Oh, hell. Yeah. Hell. That. That. That lamb is going to open that seventh seal, and everything is going to [00:14:29] Speaker A: be son of man. [00:14:30] Speaker C: Gonzo. [00:14:32] Speaker A: Son of man, baby. Trump's the son of man. He's bringing it all back. [00:14:36] Speaker C: You know, on that happy note, I [00:14:40] Speaker B: was watching Return of the Jedi was on tv, and I had it on. [00:14:43] Speaker A: I was watching it, too. It was on amc. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker A: That's crazy. [00:14:47] Speaker B: I was watching for the Jedi. My mom was like that. That Java Hut reminds me a lot of Donald Trump. Crack it up. [00:14:54] Speaker A: You're like, yeah. [00:14:55] Speaker B: Oh, man has better manners. [00:14:58] Speaker C: Yeah. He's got better sycophants, too. I would much rather look at a salacious B. Crumb than any of those ass sniffers he's got. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Did he. Did he choose? [00:15:16] Speaker B: Huh? [00:15:17] Speaker A: Who chose her outfit? [00:15:19] Speaker B: Jabba did, of course. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Okay. That's what I'm saying. [00:15:21] Speaker B: I'm like, he's a horny bugger. [00:15:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker A: He's like the Donald Trump of. [00:15:24] Speaker C: Because that's. That's what he. The. The. The Twi' lek that gets eaten before. Before fucking Leia gets given to him. He's wearing the exact same outfit. So he's just got. He's just got, like, a pile of them in the back room. [00:15:39] Speaker B: It's a little different. Hers is, like, silken. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Let's check it out. [00:15:45] Speaker C: We're gonna lose Tom to the Twi' lek side of the Internet. [00:15:49] Speaker A: If I Got captured. Would I be. They wouldn't put me in that. [00:15:52] Speaker B: No, they'd make you, like, a warrior. [00:15:54] Speaker C: Yeah, they'd make you. They'd make you fight the rancor to the death. And you would lose because you're not Luke Skywalker. [00:16:01] Speaker A: I know. That's the sad part. But if I'm a hot woman, I get to be in a bikini and, like, a slave. [00:16:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:09] Speaker B: Sex slave. [00:16:10] Speaker C: Yeah, you get. Get to. Get to. I don't know. [00:16:14] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:16:14] Speaker C: Get to is what you wanted to use. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Disney is rebranded. They used to call it Outfit Slave Leia. It's now Hut. Slayer. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Wow. Wow. [00:16:25] Speaker C: That pisses me off. Almost as much as people like thinking that they have to sense of the word suck or death or die. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Oh. [00:16:36] Speaker B: Like on the Internet, where they're like, this is going to make you eat, and then you can't say die. [00:16:40] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, there's. There's a billboard down the street for Odoo, and it says, finally, a work product that doesn't suck. And it's S star CK and it's like the. You can say the word suck. God damn it. [00:16:52] Speaker A: That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. I hate that. [00:16:56] Speaker C: Should have started the first letter. So it was STAR U, C, K. [00:17:01] Speaker B: What is [00:17:03] Speaker C: actually says suck? [00:17:04] Speaker A: You guys, I knew it was over when they were taking off Golden Girls episodes. You know what I mean? [00:17:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:10] Speaker A: They're like, she's in blackface or whatever. I can't even remember she was in black face or not. [00:17:18] Speaker B: I don't know what the episode is. I know they took one down. [00:17:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:21] Speaker A: But it, like, wasn't real. It wasn't really bad. [00:17:23] Speaker C: There was that. That's what happened with that episode of Community where. Oh, fucking Ken. What's his name? [00:17:34] Speaker B: Ken Young. [00:17:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Is that his last name? [00:17:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's J, E, N, G. He was. [00:17:42] Speaker C: He was dressed as a dark elf, and so they just painted them all black. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:17:48] Speaker C: Yeah. So you can't find. You can't. You gotta. You have to illegally stream that episode. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Yeah. It's so funny. He's like. You see, like, when he was in Hangover, he jumps out all naked. I forgot that that was him. [00:18:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:04] Speaker C: You mean, like with the. The little bitty. What is this? [00:18:07] Speaker A: Yeah. What is that thing? Like, can you believe. I would never do that. I'm sorry. [00:18:14] Speaker C: If not, you would never be naked in a movie for money. [00:18:17] Speaker A: Well, I'd be naked in movies for money, but no, not if I was. Not. Not if I was as small as Kim Jong, I guess. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:18:30] Speaker C: I guess you just don't like making people laugh enough. [00:18:32] Speaker A: I guess that's true. [00:18:33] Speaker C: You don't. You don't enjoy making people happy. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Do you see his dick in that? I don't even remember. [00:18:38] Speaker A: Yeah, you do. [00:18:40] Speaker B: He's got a tiny dick. [00:18:41] Speaker A: Mm. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe it's just cold out. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's a scary situation I had that. My dick was out during Reservation Dogs, so it was. It was crazy. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Did they give you, like, a cup or anything? [00:18:55] Speaker A: No. Well, dude, I went on set and they, like. They gave me a. They gave us all because it was four guys. They gave us pantyhose to put around our cock and balls. Like, you had to tie. So you took pantyhose and you wrapped it around your balls, and then you tied it. Like, you wrapped it around your balls and your dick, like, multiple times, and you tied it off. [00:19:22] Speaker B: That just gets. This just turned me on. [00:19:24] Speaker A: No, no, but, like, that's. It's, like, crazy, though, because, like, I was expecting something a little bit more professional. And they're like, this is the. The lady comes out, she's like, who's wrapped. They're balls with this floor. And I was like, oh, my God. [00:19:36] Speaker C: She's like. [00:19:36] Speaker A: She's like, you just put your dick in and you wrap it around and you tie it off. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And so I went. I went to the bathroom, and I was, like, trying to do it, and I couldn't. I couldn't keep everybody in, and so I was like. It was like half the time it was falling out in between sets between takes and stuff. So I was like, damn, my dick's out. And like. I don't know. It's crazy. [00:19:59] Speaker B: Anyway, your ass got in the episode, right? [00:20:02] Speaker A: Yeah. My little booties in. In episode two eight, I think of Reservation Dogs. [00:20:10] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. [00:20:11] Speaker A: If you ever want to see my Little booty. Yeah. It's a standalone episode, too, so you don't really need to know the show. [00:20:17] Speaker C: Nice. So season two, episode eight of Reservation Dogs. [00:20:20] Speaker A: Hell yeah. Yeah. [00:20:23] Speaker B: Balls wrapped in pantyhose. [00:20:25] Speaker A: You'll probably see him. You have some pantyhose fall down. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like, there's pantyhoses hanging there. [00:20:30] Speaker A: Like, oh, man, that was such a crazy day. Anyway. Yeah. [00:20:36] Speaker C: So I bet it's called this is where the plot Thickens. [00:20:39] Speaker A: So the plot thickens. O. [00:20:44] Speaker B: What plot are we here to thick it with? [00:20:46] Speaker A: We're here to thicken some hellish plots. [00:20:49] Speaker C: We are. [00:20:50] Speaker B: Because, like, As I said in the intro, we're doing the curse of Shirley Johnson, number one. All the way back from the far off land of May 2025. [00:21:02] Speaker C: So long ago, almost a year. Wow. [00:21:06] Speaker B: I mean, like, it's like three months away. [00:21:10] Speaker C: A baby could have been born in the time. Wow. [00:21:15] Speaker A: If somebody was conceived on the day that this came out, it'd be being born, like, today. That's crazy. [00:21:23] Speaker C: Well, let's welcome little baby. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Hey. [00:21:26] Speaker B: Welcome the births and see. [00:21:29] Speaker C: Yeah, that's not. That's not a. That's not a immediate red flag. Find me all the babies born on this date. I'm gonna show you spawn some King Herod. [00:21:40] Speaker A: All the babies first, boys. [00:21:43] Speaker C: All the little babies. All the little babies. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Oh, if you like it, you should have put a baby on it. [00:21:51] Speaker A: I really feel bad for Shirley Johnson. [00:21:54] Speaker B: It's bad news. But we gotta. We don't wanna get ahead of ourselves. We always start with the covers. [00:22:00] Speaker C: The covers. Yes, indeed. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Covers. [00:22:04] Speaker B: I have the A cover. [00:22:05] Speaker C: Very nice. [00:22:06] Speaker B: By Jonathan Glapion with FCO Plasencia. It's pretty iconic. It's Shirley Johnson coming out of a room. Coming out of her refrigerator. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Yeah. I was about to say that is [00:22:19] Speaker B: her refrigerator there that she's been trapped in. [00:22:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:23] Speaker B: And then there's the mysterious stranger who helps her. [00:22:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:26] Speaker B: In the background. [00:22:28] Speaker C: Very nice. [00:22:29] Speaker A: Cute. [00:22:31] Speaker C: I have the. I have the B cover. Is this. This the B cover? Yes. Yeah. The Todd McFarland cover with Shirley Johnson holding a big old axe and a little sign that says I heart Billy and Teddy T. Look at Teddy T. There. Dead. He's like straight off that. That. He's like the. That stuffed animal on that corn cover. [00:22:55] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:22:58] Speaker C: One of four covers for issues, right? Is that what it was? Dang. Wait, why am I asking you? I think I. Out of the three of us, I was probably the one that listened to the most corn. [00:23:11] Speaker B: You list the corn the most, you sick fuck. [00:23:13] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:23:13] Speaker A: I totally fucking did Shirley Johnson in the corn videos. Is that who that is? [00:23:19] Speaker C: No, but Todd McFarlane did do a cover. The COVID for Follow the Leader. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Okay, that's. I was like. I remember, like the. It's very similar now that I think about it. Is it the Freak on the Leash? No, it is the. [00:23:33] Speaker C: It's the. It's the one that. The first 13 tracks are all silent and the actual tracks don't start until track 14. God, why do I fucking know this shit? [00:23:45] Speaker A: That's hilarious. That's so funny. [00:23:48] Speaker B: Where's this C cover? I can't fucking find It. [00:23:50] Speaker C: The Ryan Otley cover? Yeah, I don't see it either because the. The website image.com has the. The inks for Todd McFarlane and then a blank one, but doesn't have a Ryan Otley one. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Okay, I found it. If you search his name, it's really. That's a really rare. Oh, it's a 1 in 50 variant cover. It's Spawn with Shirley Johnson sitting there. He's got her wrapped up in his chains and she's like laughing. [00:24:21] Speaker C: Oh, hell, that's a cool one. That's a good one. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it was the. Was that called incentive variant? [00:24:26] Speaker C: Yeah, sometimes they'll call it a chase variant. So people chase it and we pop [00:24:33] Speaker B: the sucker open and we got the credits. Script plot by Daniel Enriquez, art by Jonathan Galapien, color by FCO Placencia, lettering by Ann World Design. We already covered the covers. [00:24:51] Speaker C: Yeah, we did. [00:24:52] Speaker B: Grave director Tom McFarlane and editor in chief is Thomas Healey. [00:24:57] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Hell, Helia. [00:25:00] Speaker C: I'm surprised they didn't have a previous Leon for the stuff that happened in [00:25:06] Speaker B: like 20 years ago. [00:25:08] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, more than that. 30 years ago. [00:25:12] Speaker B: It's a number one. They can't have it. Previously on. That'd be insane. [00:25:16] Speaker C: I mean, true. [00:25:18] Speaker A: Previously. [00:25:22] Speaker C: When has Todd McFarlane not done something insane? [00:25:25] Speaker B: That's true. I remember Jonathan Galapian and Daniel Enrique has conceived this Jonathan Galapian interview. One of his quotes was he was like, want to draw something weird? He's tired of drawing like city streets. And so he like, what can you come up with for me? And they came up with this together. [00:25:43] Speaker C: That's awesome. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:44] Speaker C: No city streets here. [00:25:47] Speaker B: Nope. Just hell. [00:25:48] Speaker A: Just hell. [00:25:49] Speaker B: Well, it is number one. It does owe a lot to Spawn number five, which is the one about Billy Kincaid, who is Shirley Johnson's killer. [00:25:57] Speaker C: Yes. Who is the. On the. The credits page here is the final sequence from that issue where Spawn catches up with him and stabs him and leaves him hanging in Sam and Twitch's office. [00:26:11] Speaker B: Yes. [00:26:12] Speaker A: Cool. [00:26:14] Speaker C: And also a bit to issue eight, the Alan Moore map of Hell issue. Because there are. We see some of the. Some of the beings from one of the. One of the levels in this issue. [00:26:30] Speaker A: Johnny. [00:26:31] Speaker B: Yes, it's very much in the debt of Spawn history, but it is forging a new path. [00:26:36] Speaker C: Yes, indeed. And we start with a little. A little voiceover. A little voiceover. A little. Here we go again. And we start off with a fridge. It's a bloody fridge and it's chained closed. It says, I remember everything he did to me. And then. Sorry. Sorry. Tom's showing us his little Billy. Hi, little Billy. Hi, little Bailey. How's it going? [00:27:07] Speaker A: Look at that little shoe. Sorry. [00:27:11] Speaker C: I gotta stop talking about what I'm seeing. [00:27:13] Speaker B: Yeah, we gotta stop doing the visual humor here, man. [00:27:15] Speaker A: We're trying to. [00:27:19] Speaker C: Sorry. I like a belly Johnny. So and so. It's. Everything he did to me is remembered. That's the way. Back at Spawn Number five, it says, I've died so many times. I know the beats by heart. And then we get a countdown. 3, 2, 1. And then we see Spawn entering. Billy Kincaid's house. Was in the middle of his finger paints. And then we see somebody. Somebody watching it. And they're like, come on, just get it over with already. I'm done with this part. [00:27:53] Speaker A: And, yeah, ice cream. [00:27:54] Speaker C: About Spawn. So he dressed up as an ice cream man and kidnapped children and then killed them. [00:28:02] Speaker B: So that's what Spawns early nemeses, man. [00:28:06] Speaker A: That's cool. [00:28:07] Speaker B: He's a senator's son. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Yucky. [00:28:10] Speaker C: Yeah, really yucky. And so we see Spawn taking care of Billy Kincaid. And then he. Shadow blasts out of there. And I do like that. We get the. The callback for the. Make him scream and scream and scream. [00:28:34] Speaker A: I scream. [00:28:35] Speaker C: Yeah, it's very good. And so after Spawn teleports out with Billy Kincaid. Shirley Johnson is just left in the fridge in Billy Kincaid's house. And she's like, God damn it. I have to relive my death. And he just leaves me here again. [00:28:51] Speaker B: Every time. Spawn gets Billy Kincaid. But he doesn't know about Shirley. And he leaves me behind. [00:28:56] Speaker A: Wow. [00:28:56] Speaker C: It's rough. That's rough. And we get to see. We get to see Billy Kincaid's wonderful finger paints. If you'll. If you'll notice, Tom, they are finger paints. And that he just glues some fingers to a canvas. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. [00:29:15] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. He's real fucked up. He's real fucked up. And Shirley says, man, it hurts, but it hurts less than it used to. And she's like, am I getting better at dying? And she's wondering if maybe she's absorbed too much of this green light from. From Spawn as he. Shadow blasts out of the. Out of the house. And, you know, she busts out of the fridge and is just like. She grabs the meat cleaver from the floor. And it's just like, okay, let's get out of here. She takes a look at herself and the shiny blade. And she's like, what the hell's going on with my face? She looks. She looks a Little bit. A little bit violator. Clowny. [00:30:02] Speaker B: A little clownish. [00:30:04] Speaker C: Little clown. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Little clown. Clowny clown. Clowny clown, clown. Dude. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Clowny clown, clown. [00:30:13] Speaker C: I haven't. I did listen to Creepy clown time by David Lynch a long time ago, though. [00:30:18] Speaker B: Well, Christian Glover did a single in the 80s called Clowny Clown Clown and it's a. It's a great song. [00:30:27] Speaker C: It's a great song that sounds normal and cool. [00:30:31] Speaker A: I was walking on the ground and I didn't make a sound. And something. [00:30:36] Speaker B: I turned around, I saw a clown. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Dude. That's like, oh, man. Classic. [00:30:50] Speaker C: Okay, cool. I'll look into it. [00:30:52] Speaker A: Yep. [00:30:53] Speaker C: And by that I mean I'll probably forget about it until Jen brings it up in two episodes. God damn it. I forgot about it. [00:30:59] Speaker A: One of Christophen Glover's classic characters. Classic. [00:31:02] Speaker B: And there's Mr. Farr. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Mr. Farr, huh? [00:31:05] Speaker B: The whole thing he did on David Letterman with that get up was from. That music video was from Mr. Farr. Yeah, he's like promoting his music video. He's so weird. [00:31:14] Speaker A: But, like, everyone thought he was on acid, which he probably might have been, but I don't know. It doesn't matter. If you're an acid. You don't. [00:31:21] Speaker B: What did he do? Trying to kick David Letter with his feet. [00:31:23] Speaker A: Yes. He just said he can, like, I can kick really high. And he's like, okay. He like kicks him almost in the face or like he almost punches him too. He's like, I know karate. I don't know. It's like crazy. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Had no sense of humor about that. [00:31:39] Speaker A: Nope. He was like, this isn't funny. Get out of here. Yeah. [00:31:43] Speaker B: Top 10 weather phenomenons in New York City. [00:31:46] Speaker A: Yeah. He's like, what about that Monica Lewinsky getting blowjob jobs again? [00:31:50] Speaker B: Hey, that's. That was Bill. That was. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Oh, that was j. That's right. That's right. Jay Leno was. [00:31:55] Speaker B: He's like, yeah, yeah. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Monica was sucking dick. I. I turned down the news and Monica dick again. Oh, man. [00:32:07] Speaker C: Hell yeah. [00:32:08] Speaker B: David's a big Jay Leno fan. [00:32:10] Speaker C: I actually, I. He was. He was in the late night show I watched when I was little. [00:32:15] Speaker B: Me too. [00:32:15] Speaker C: Because my mom loved headlines. And so that's what. [00:32:18] Speaker B: That's Monday night. It's Monday night. It's time for headlines. [00:32:21] Speaker C: Headlines was great. [00:32:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:25] Speaker A: Jay Leno. Everybody watched. Well, we watched Jay Leno because, I mean, NBC. [00:32:29] Speaker B: So it was like, how's the NBC household? So we watched. We just watched Jay Leno, right? Yes. [00:32:36] Speaker C: And then, I mean, Kevin Eubanks was awesome. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Kevin Eubanks let's not give Che Leno too much credit. Still a bad guy. [00:32:46] Speaker B: He got up. Yeah. [00:32:48] Speaker A: He, like, fell down that mountain. [00:32:49] Speaker B: He fell down a cliff or something. His feet looked so up. [00:32:52] Speaker C: It was. It was a hill between his hotel and a restaurant. [00:32:59] Speaker B: He was trying to go to Ruby Tuesday. [00:33:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:02] Speaker A: I saw this AI Video of, like, him falling. [00:33:09] Speaker B: That's the proper use of AI. [00:33:10] Speaker C: I know. [00:33:11] Speaker A: I was like, that's pretty funny. [00:33:14] Speaker C: Yes. Anyway, Shirley Johnson is running through the woods. [00:33:20] Speaker A: She's running through the woods with. [00:33:22] Speaker C: With Teddy T. And she's trying to outrun these wolves. Bad things that lurk in the dark. [00:33:30] Speaker A: They're not just any wolves. [00:33:32] Speaker C: They only want one thing. Her flesh. [00:33:35] Speaker A: Yummy. [00:33:36] Speaker B: So she's been, like. It's, like, implied. She's waking up in this fridge, like, every time she dies. [00:33:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:41] Speaker B: And reliving the same thing over and over. [00:33:44] Speaker C: It's kind of like a. Like a time loop movie. And she knows that she's got. She's like, I gotta get out of the house by now. And she's. She's late getting out of the house, and so she gets caught by these wolves. Because she trips and they're on her. And right when they're about. [00:34:00] Speaker B: They're kind of like smoky supernatural wolves. [00:34:02] Speaker C: Yeah, they're real creepy wolves. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, they really do want your soul. [00:34:08] Speaker C: Yeah. And then I like the. I like the from within the wolves mouth angle. They're bearing down on her. And as. As they're about to eat her, she just hears very quietly in the back of her head, you're not holding my powers. You're holding a bomb. And she's like, huh? [00:34:30] Speaker A: What? [00:34:30] Speaker C: And then there's another countdown, Johnny. Just, like, from the first page. Three, two, one. And she explodes. Just like old Al Simmons did in issue 301. There was a major, major seismic happening, Tom, that. That rippled across all of the books. Spawn just, like, exploded. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Damn, that's cool. Thomas. I like this as Thomas. [00:35:03] Speaker C: Thomas Healy. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Nice. [00:35:05] Speaker C: Yeah. So after the explosion, Shirley wakes up, and she's like, what the heck was that? What is this green light? Blow me to pieces, almost. So she goes over to where the knife fell when she. When the explosion happened. She picked it up, and all of the wolves are still there. And she's like, oh. And then the wolves tackle her and knock her off this cliff. She thinks she's about back at the. Like, she's just gonna wake back up in the fridge and she's gonna start it all over again. But instead of dying again, like, she does Every time through the loop, she lands thump on the ground. And she's hugging Teddy T. Because they're still alive. Somehow she thought they had that spawn's blast had turned the. Turned to Teddy T. Toast extra crispy. [00:35:56] Speaker B: Did you have a stuffed animal, David? [00:35:58] Speaker C: I did. I had a lot. I had Mr. Bear, Mr. Puppy, Mr. Monkey, Mr. Mister. Seeing a theme. You seeing the theme here, Mr. Shark. I got Mr. Shark when I got my tonsils out, so I loved that. [00:36:15] Speaker A: Dude. [00:36:16] Speaker B: I had a 7 up spot. [00:36:18] Speaker C: Nice. I had a couple of the coke polar bears. I was a real big coke polar bear kid. [00:36:25] Speaker B: Yeah, my polar bear. [00:36:28] Speaker A: My mom and I made, like, a sock monkey, so we. But we didn't put eyes on it, so we called it blind monkey, which is ableist, but [00:36:37] Speaker B: blind monkey. You should have said monkey that can do whatever the hell he wants. [00:36:42] Speaker A: Yeah, monkey that see no evil fulfilled life, See no evil. [00:36:46] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. [00:36:48] Speaker B: You see no evil monkey. [00:36:49] Speaker C: Did you also give him no mouth and no ears? [00:36:51] Speaker A: No, he got mouth. [00:36:52] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:36:53] Speaker A: Where does that come. [00:36:54] Speaker B: What is the monkey thing? Is that. Where does that come from? [00:36:57] Speaker A: I have no idea. [00:36:58] Speaker C: I have no idea. It's just. It's just a. Like an old, old person meme. It's like a live laugh love before there was live laugh love. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Yeah, just like your ears, eyes, and mouth. This is like. [00:37:08] Speaker B: Yeah, they have the emojis for us. It's. It's still around. [00:37:12] Speaker A: Damn. [00:37:13] Speaker B: They have the monkey with the eyes, the ears. [00:37:15] Speaker C: My. My grandmother. My grandmother had several. Several versions of those. [00:37:20] Speaker A: Really? [00:37:20] Speaker C: Yeah. She also had a little sign that says a wise monkey. Never monkeys with another monkey's monkey. [00:37:27] Speaker B: That sounds sexual. [00:37:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Did she really like monkeys? [00:37:31] Speaker C: Apparently. [00:37:31] Speaker A: I. I don't. [00:37:32] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:37:33] Speaker C: I never. I never asked Green what her thoughts on monkeys were. [00:37:37] Speaker B: Never. Even though she had this monkey all over her house. [00:37:41] Speaker C: I really didn't notice most of the monkey stuff until we were clearing out the house after her funeral, so. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Wow, David, thanks for making me feel bad. [00:37:49] Speaker C: No, no, no. It's. I mean, I didn't have the greatest relationship with this grandmother. This is also the grandmother who lived in the haunted house. So, you know, much more important things to think about than asking Rean about the monkeys. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Not getting got by a ghost. [00:38:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Dude, if she has a monkey that, like, does the clanging like that, does the. The symbols burn it? [00:38:11] Speaker C: No. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She didn't have one. [00:38:13] Speaker B: Maybe it was a ghost monkey. [00:38:15] Speaker C: But her house was designed by the same architect that designed the Oklahoma State capitol. [00:38:20] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:38:21] Speaker B: The Murrow Building. [00:38:22] Speaker C: Not the Murrow Building. [00:38:26] Speaker A: No, that was the same guy that did the Twin Towers. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Yes, there's a. There's a very smaller version of like the World Trade center, downtown Tulsa. Same architect. I think I remember that because we got to do. You gotta take it down. All you gotta do is throw a rock at it. It'll just collapse like a. Like a. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Like a. Beams. [00:38:46] Speaker B: Like a controlled demolition. [00:38:48] Speaker A: Right. That's all you gotta do. And it'll fall straight down. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Fall straight pancake on itself. Bam. [00:38:54] Speaker A: No, no problems at all. Straight down fast. [00:38:57] Speaker C: Yeah, but where's the second one? Where's the second one, Johnny? [00:39:02] Speaker B: I built one in Tulsa. [00:39:04] Speaker C: How dare he? [00:39:05] Speaker A: There's. There is actually a Williams too, but it's a different building altogether. It kind of looks like the Mural Building, now that I think about it. [00:39:11] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:39:13] Speaker A: It's all connected, y'. All. Also the capital, the oil capital. [00:39:18] Speaker B: I was watching. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Oh, Robert Duvall, by the way. Robert Duvall, Rest in Peace. [00:39:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Damn. Makes me sad. [00:39:26] Speaker B: The preacher. What was that movie? The Bapt. The Baptist. [00:39:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Or the. [00:39:31] Speaker B: The Believer. [00:39:32] Speaker A: Or He's a drunk. [00:39:34] Speaker B: No, he's like baptizing people in the river. [00:39:37] Speaker A: I don't remember that one. [00:39:38] Speaker B: What's the movie? He's a drunk. [00:39:40] Speaker A: And the. The one where it's like. Is it not Lonesome Dove? Damn it. I don't know. I don't remember. Lonesome Dove is good, though. [00:39:50] Speaker B: Is he in that? [00:39:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Yes. [00:39:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:53] Speaker C: And then, I mean, Godfather, Secondhand Lions, the Judge. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Oh, Secondhand Lions, Second hand Lions. [00:40:01] Speaker A: When you drunk in one of them, he's like, I'm a drunk. [00:40:05] Speaker B: He's just funny in second hand lines. [00:40:07] Speaker A: He was. He's a funny guy. [00:40:09] Speaker C: He was in Days of Thunder. [00:40:11] Speaker A: Damn. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. [00:40:14] Speaker C: The Apostle. [00:40:15] Speaker B: The Apostle. That's what I was thinking of. [00:40:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:19] Speaker B: River. [00:40:20] Speaker C: Yeah. That's what the COVID of the. The movie is. He was Impact. [00:40:26] Speaker A: Deep Impact. [00:40:27] Speaker C: I was. I was. We were an Armageddon household. So. [00:40:32] Speaker B: Yeah, they're both good. [00:40:35] Speaker C: I think I've. I think I've only seen half of Deep Impact. [00:40:38] Speaker B: I like Deep Impact. Is it the one I saw in theaters? [00:40:42] Speaker A: Is it the one with Hobbit guy? [00:40:44] Speaker C: Yeah, Hobbit guy. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Elijah Wood. [00:40:48] Speaker C: Oh, Elijah Wood's in it. I was about to say Morgan Freeman's in it, right? Yeah, Morgan Freeman. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Warren Freeman's the fucking president, mate. [00:40:55] Speaker A: Morgan Freeman's not in the Hobbit, though. That would be funny. [00:40:57] Speaker C: Leone. [00:40:59] Speaker A: Morgan Freeman's like, I'm Gandalf. [00:41:02] Speaker C: James Cromwell. Shit. I would probably love this movie. I have a feeling that this. This movie probably fell into the. Becca says that we're not liking Tea Leone, so we're not watching this movie. [00:41:15] Speaker B: Why does your sister hate Tea Leone? [00:41:16] Speaker C: Because she had a. She had a real bad divorce from David Duchovny because he's like a sex addict. [00:41:21] Speaker B: He's like a psycho. [00:41:23] Speaker C: My. [00:41:24] Speaker B: But your sister was a dad. [00:41:25] Speaker C: X Files was my sister's show. We all watched the X Files because it was. It was Becca's show. [00:41:31] Speaker A: Oh, I loved X Files. [00:41:34] Speaker C: And I was too young to be watching the X Files, thank you very much. [00:41:38] Speaker B: Now I know it's a documentary, though. I was too young to watch the X Files. I was watching. It was a cultural phenomenon. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah, sure was the bugs on the skin and stuff. That was crazy. [00:41:50] Speaker C: Yeah, but so sure. Shirley Johnson stands up and is running through this. This hellscape. And she's like, oh, no, what is this place? This place can't be real. What is this? What is this? She's still being chased around by the. The demon wolves, although they look a little. Like a little doofus doofusified. And they catch up with her and they. They bite her anyway. And she yells, please help. And then we see the mysterious figure from the Jonathan Galapian cover who's standing there with like a big fucking Final Fantasy style sword. [00:42:34] Speaker A: Gigantic sword. [00:42:36] Speaker C: He says, where is he? He's just like chopping and zinging and. Yeah, there's all sorts of dead bodies and decapitated bodies. [00:42:51] Speaker A: Spikes was cool. [00:42:53] Speaker C: Yeah. And you hear Shirley's. Shirley's cries and he does a. And like throws sword fire at the. The demon wolves and then just starts to attack him. He saves Shirley Johnson. [00:43:08] Speaker B: Yeah, this guy's pretty cool. I like his sword. [00:43:10] Speaker C: Yeah, he's dope as hell. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Shoots fire and. Yeah, like, what are these dogs? Demons? Are they demons? [00:43:19] Speaker C: They gotta be some kind of demons. [00:43:21] Speaker B: Some kind of demons. [00:43:23] Speaker C: Yeah, some kind of demons. [00:43:24] Speaker B: And then after eyes and the mouths are cool with the glowing red pink. [00:43:30] Speaker C: I like how they're just kind of like amorphous. [00:43:32] Speaker A: Like they get. [00:43:33] Speaker C: They get longer and they get shorter. And then after Shirley Johnson is saved, she says the opening reading. [00:43:43] Speaker A: Please can you help me? I'm trying to go home. [00:43:47] Speaker C: Home? [00:43:47] Speaker B: Kid, you're in hell. There is no home here. Which was originally the title of this book. [00:43:52] Speaker C: Yes. [00:43:52] Speaker A: No home here. [00:43:54] Speaker C: No home, no here. No home, no here. And we see behind them, they're. They're like standing on a broken bridge. And behind them is like this weird. Like, it's like a mishmash between a sunken city and like, a city that has had some gigantic beast growing around it like a tumor. It's. It's a weird place, but it's hell, so that's why it's a weird place. [00:44:22] Speaker B: Looks like a cool city. [00:44:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:26] Speaker A: A thriving theater community probably. [00:44:29] Speaker B: I was out in, like, by Sand Springs today for work, and there was a. I saw a community theater. They're doing Godspell. [00:44:38] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Godspell. [00:44:41] Speaker B: Godspell. David loves that movie. [00:44:46] Speaker C: They got their fucking roller skating with Jesus. Holy shit. That's so fucking cool. [00:44:51] Speaker A: It's kind of funny. [00:44:53] Speaker B: It was an Episcopal person that wrote it. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Wow. [00:44:57] Speaker C: I think we talked about that on, like, episodes way early. [00:45:01] Speaker A: What? [00:45:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Guess one. David guess. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Episode 15. [00:45:07] Speaker B: 33, 16. [00:45:10] Speaker A: Whoever's closest gets the. [00:45:12] Speaker B: Gets the cookie. [00:45:13] Speaker A: Godspell. Are you gonna go see it? Are you gonna go see it? No. [00:45:16] Speaker B: No. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Okay. [00:45:18] Speaker B: It was just interesting. I hadn't thought about God Soul in years, and I didn't know that there was a community theater way out there. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Nice. Now you do. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Amazing. [00:45:30] Speaker B: Really? [00:45:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:31] Speaker C: I believe that. [00:45:32] Speaker B: What's it called? [00:45:33] Speaker A: Broken Arrow Community. [00:45:35] Speaker B: What the hell? How long it takes to come up with that name? [00:45:38] Speaker C: They had to. They had to. They had to. They had a reservation and a Ted's Better reservation at Ted's they got to get to. [00:45:48] Speaker A: They just built a new performing arts center. It's called Broken Arrow Performing Arts Center. [00:45:53] Speaker C: Wow. Is it. Is it just for the city or is it, like, school use, too? [00:45:58] Speaker A: It's for. I think it's just. I think it's just for the city, but I'm not sure. I can't remember. [00:46:04] Speaker C: It's like a enormous high school. Jesus Christ. [00:46:07] Speaker A: Yeah, they're like. [00:46:09] Speaker C: Although I guess. Actually, I guess it was. It was 5A, so it was technically smaller than what's the biggest A. Well, In Texas it's 5A, but in Oklahoma, there's a 6A, so. Union. Union and Jinx and Owasso are all 6A. I think. Booker. Booker T. Was a 5A. I think. [00:46:30] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Nobody knows what it means. It doesn't mean anything. [00:46:34] Speaker C: It's. It's. It's literally just like 5,000 asses in the seats. It's. It's literally based on student count. I don't. I don't remember what it is. [00:46:43] Speaker B: We had, like 200 something in my class, I would say. So there's probably like 800 to a thousand people at Booker T. If I had to guess, you had four classes my. [00:46:53] Speaker C: My high school was a 3A and we had like 450 people in all four classes. [00:46:58] Speaker A: Nice. Total. [00:46:59] Speaker B: Oh, total. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Total. And Oak Muskogee had just become. Just become a 6A a couple of years before, and I think they had like 12,000 students. [00:47:10] Speaker B: Were you best friends with everyone at your school? [00:47:13] Speaker C: Not best. I knew most everybody, but not best friends. [00:47:17] Speaker B: Now you're mean to him. [00:47:18] Speaker C: I was. I stuck. I stuck to my people, Okay? I wasn't a social butterfly. [00:47:25] Speaker B: You weren't a bully? [00:47:28] Speaker C: I was a bully in middle school. [00:47:30] Speaker B: You were a bully. [00:47:31] Speaker C: I was a bully. Well, not even middle school. Like fourth and fifth grade. I was a bully. What the fuck else was I supposed to do, Johnny? All the people that I went to school with said I was gonna grow up to be a fucking speed bump. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Where am I supposed to put that information? [00:47:47] Speaker B: Damn you bully some other people. [00:47:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Hey. Dogs purring we got. Got. Sorry. Sorry, everybody. I have a lot of dogs. [00:47:58] Speaker A: I thought that was a fart. [00:48:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it kind of sounded like one. [00:48:03] Speaker A: Like, dang, y'. [00:48:04] Speaker C: All. Yeah, it's a great excuse. Dogs. It was. It was totally the dogs. [00:48:09] Speaker A: Funny. [00:48:09] Speaker C: But that. That ends what is very obviously was issue one before they decided to make it a double size [00:48:21] Speaker A: two parter. [00:48:23] Speaker C: Nice little. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Nice quote from Carl Jung. [00:48:25] Speaker C: No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell. [00:48:31] Speaker A: Wow. [00:48:31] Speaker B: I was thinking dragged me to hell when Ramjas quotes Carl Young and then little dweeb guy. What's his name? Justin Long's like, oh, misses his favorite philosopher. [00:48:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:43] Speaker B: Or whatever. Or something like that. [00:48:46] Speaker A: Young. He's like. Young. Yeah, he like. [00:48:48] Speaker B: He rolls his eyes at him. [00:48:51] Speaker C: What a little ass. He is [00:48:55] Speaker A: so funny. [00:48:56] Speaker B: He's not that much of a ass in that movie. He's just. His parents are kind of shitty. [00:49:03] Speaker C: I mean, but I thought. I thought that was kind of like his whole. His whole character was that he was supposed to be kinda kind of a poopy butthead, but not a poopy butthead in the terms of he's the bad guy of the story because the lady who thinks she's not the bad guy is the bad guy. [00:49:20] Speaker B: He was just a mediocre boyfriend. [00:49:24] Speaker A: Yeah, he's like. [00:49:25] Speaker C: He was really. He was a bad. [00:49:26] Speaker B: He wasn't a poopy butthead. [00:49:27] Speaker C: David. [00:49:28] Speaker B: What are you two? [00:49:29] Speaker C: I was two. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:49:32] Speaker A: At one point. [00:49:33] Speaker B: At one point, we were all two. Yeah, except unless you died when you were one years old. [00:49:38] Speaker C: Damn shouting. Way to bring the Way to bring the tone down. But anyway, so going about like, child [00:49:49] Speaker B: murderers and, like, dead girls in this issue. Children's fingers on, like, a canvas. [00:49:57] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's all. That's all pretend, Johnny. And you're here bringing real life. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Proposed dead 1 year old. Not a real one. It's just like, what if there was [00:50:06] Speaker A: one hypothetical dead one year old? [00:50:10] Speaker B: Hypothetical. [00:50:14] Speaker C: Okay, I don't want to think about that, Johnny. I don't want to think about that at all. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Okay, great. [00:50:21] Speaker C: Not a big fan of children, but that's still. That's still a step too far for me. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Well, David, maybe you should consider your stance on abortion then, because those are dead children. [00:50:34] Speaker C: Remove bundles of cells indistinguishable from small, little tumors at that point. [00:50:40] Speaker A: Dude, what are you, a scientist? Yeah. [00:50:43] Speaker B: What the hell are you doing? [00:50:44] Speaker C: Maybe. I don't know. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Back off, man. I'm a scientist. Is that your favorite line from Ghostbusters? [00:50:50] Speaker C: No. [00:50:52] Speaker B: No. What is your favorite line? You're like, I hate that scene. [00:50:56] Speaker C: I like. My favorite line has got to be Rey. If somebody asks if you're a God, you say yes. [00:51:04] Speaker B: Say yes. [00:51:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that's pretty good. [00:51:07] Speaker C: Yeah, because they're all so upset at him too. And that's, you know, I vibe with that. People being upset at me for being stupid. [00:51:16] Speaker A: Are you a cop? [00:51:19] Speaker B: He's just like, no, because that. [00:51:22] Speaker C: That would have been me. I totally would have been like, yeah, no, I'm not a God. What are you talking about? I'm just a dude. [00:51:27] Speaker A: There's this classic story of me, and it's Brand's birthday, and we were carrying back this big case of beer, and this is when we're in college and this bus full of, like, hot girls stopped, and they're like, you guys need a ride? And I was like, no, no, thank you. Thank you. [00:51:45] Speaker B: And we were all like, what the. [00:51:47] Speaker A: And they drove. They're like, drove off. And br Was like, what the was that? [00:51:51] Speaker B: I was like, they asked if we wanted to party, I think. [00:51:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:53] Speaker A: They were like, they like, literally like, [00:52:00] Speaker C: no. [00:52:01] Speaker B: And we were like, what? [00:52:02] Speaker A: They were like, no, good, good. Bye. [00:52:06] Speaker C: Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one, because that would have totally been me. I would have been like, yeah, no, we're good. Wait, what. What just happened? [00:52:13] Speaker A: Yeah, Brad was so mad because it was their birthday. They're already having, like, a shitty day, and they're like, what the. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Yeah, One time I was in an apartment in college. I was on a balcony. And then it must have been like, a sorority Dare six women just ran out naked into the street and then ran back into the darkness. Easily one other person was there. And I was like, is that real? [00:52:36] Speaker A: That's crazy, man. Amazing. You're like, wow, that's college. College. [00:52:43] Speaker C: College is weird. [00:52:45] Speaker A: College, man. You know who never got to go to college? Shirley Johnson. [00:52:48] Speaker B: Shirley Johnson. [00:52:49] Speaker C: Shirley Johnson. Yeah. [00:52:50] Speaker B: And that hypothetical one year old. Yeah. So we cut. We got a Carl Jung quote. And we cut to some kind of, [00:52:58] Speaker C: like, some kind of creepy man. [00:53:00] Speaker B: He's got an S on his forehead. No eyes. [00:53:02] Speaker C: Yeah, he's got, like, vampire fangs. He says, yes, Lord, I hear your voice. What do you ask of me today? And then we see he's on, like, a little Rocky outcropping, talking to this big, giant beast with a city on its back. Oh, it is the carrier. [00:53:21] Speaker A: The Carrier. That's his name. [00:53:23] Speaker C: That's. Yeah, I'm assuming that's. That's. It's. It's roving around. I would assume this is the carrier. [00:53:30] Speaker B: This is he talking to the carrier. Okay. No, it's got to be the carrier. [00:53:33] Speaker C: Yeah, he's either talking. That's either his Lord or the Carrier. [00:53:36] Speaker B: But since it's talking about bolgia, yeah, [00:53:39] Speaker C: I assume he's probably talking about bolgia, I guess. [00:53:42] Speaker B: No, because this issue 300 happened. [00:53:44] Speaker A: So. [00:53:46] Speaker C: Nyx. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Nyx. [00:53:48] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:53:48] Speaker B: We'll see. [00:53:50] Speaker C: But. So this. This weird dead guy is after the girl. He's after Shirley Johnson. Then we turn the page, and it says, johnny, no Home Here, Part two. What. What did they forget to. They forget to change the name? [00:54:09] Speaker B: I think they went like. No Home Here is the title of Part two. [00:54:14] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:54:15] Speaker C: I don't know. It is funny, but we start off, we see a black and white image of Shirley Johnson with her chains on her. And they're, like, slowly ripping her apart, like, grabbing at the skins on her arms. She says, I know this isn't real. Just another nightmare kicking off. And she's like, I know. But knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'll wake up eventually. I always do. Till then, I bite down and fight back. Because the pain. The pain feels real. And then we get to see Billy Kincaid doing his finger paints with Shirley Johnson's finger. And we get the creepiest. The creepiest Billy Kincaid ever. [00:55:02] Speaker A: What is. Does he stab himself, too? [00:55:06] Speaker B: No, no, that's. It's like an image. It's like a vision. Because, like, that's what Spawn did to him. [00:55:11] Speaker A: Spawn stuff. Ice cream. [00:55:13] Speaker B: Ice cream. Handles all through him. [00:55:15] Speaker A: Cool. [00:55:15] Speaker B: So this is like a nightmare kind of amalgam of like, what happened and her imagination. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Yeah, got it. [00:55:23] Speaker C: She says she wants to see her mommy again. And then she hears spawn or somebody speaking into her head. And she's like, no, no. You took me away from my mommy. I hate you. And then the mysterious man from earlier says, wake up. Get off me. We see that in Shirley Johnson's nightmare. She was choking this man just as she was. Like she was trying to fight the chains or fight the visions. She was sleep strangling. [00:55:53] Speaker A: Damn. [00:55:54] Speaker B: Gotta watch out for that. [00:55:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I saw this thing today about this guy that sleep strangled his wife and he woke up and like, she was dead. [00:56:01] Speaker B: What? [00:56:02] Speaker A: Isn't that crazy? [00:56:03] Speaker B: Was he having like a dream? [00:56:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess. I don't know. He said he like, was. I mean, he. He was not guilty by reason. It. A reason of whatever dreaming is called. Scientifically. It's like hypoglymation or whatever. [00:56:21] Speaker C: That's a terrible thing. [00:56:22] Speaker B: Holy terrible story. [00:56:25] Speaker C: Could you imagine? I mean, I have a hard enough time waking up as it is. Can you imagine waking up and being like, what the. Is what. What the? [00:56:32] Speaker A: Stories of people getting in their cars and driving like 20 miles and like robbing a bank and coming back or something crazy like that. [00:56:39] Speaker B: Like, then go back and go to sleep. [00:56:41] Speaker A: But yeah, it's like crazy. I don't know. [00:56:43] Speaker C: Insane. [00:56:44] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. So, yeah, Shirley Johnson could be glad [00:56:49] Speaker B: my dreams aren't like that. [00:56:51] Speaker C: But yeah, so Shirley Johnson is sorry for trying to strangle this stranger. And then, you know, so she gives him. Gives him a hug to try to try to assuage him from being mad. And he just kind of like looks down at her like. And then Shirley's like, wait, hold on a second. Is that a whole bunch of dead people? Did you bury all these dead people? And so he says, yes. And she's like, but why did you bury them? He's like, well, they were. They were my friends and family. I couldn't leave them. Couldn't leave them like that. So even in hell that this mysterious stranger and Shirley Johnson have both lost everyone in their lives. And Shirley says, but hell locked me up with the bad man and spawn. And then the stranger's like a hell spawn. Hellspawn. [00:57:46] Speaker B: Can't trust a hell spawn. [00:57:48] Speaker C: Surprised they didn't put a ptooie. [00:57:52] Speaker B: Who? [00:57:52] Speaker C: A ptooie. He says. A hellspawn. And then spits. [00:57:56] Speaker B: Oh, ptooie. Yes. [00:58:00] Speaker C: He says. You can't trust a Hellspawn. They'll turn on you and they'll kill you and everyone you love. Shirley Johnson's like, I don't think I can die anymore, can I? [00:58:09] Speaker B: I died plenty of times, but I'm still here. Yeah. [00:58:12] Speaker C: She says, and we always come back, right? Teddy T. And the mysterious stranger's like, I don't know, we should probably get somewhere safe. So they start. They start walking. Start walking through hell. Yep. [00:58:27] Speaker B: And there's creatures washing from all over. [00:58:29] Speaker C: Yeah. And she's surely being a little. A little sad. And this mysterious stranger is just like, man, you need to. You need to. You need to. You need to pay attention to what's happening here. He says, you may have. You may have died and then come back and then died again and lived your death so many times, but you're now vulnerable to like permanent, permanent death. So you got to be careful. And he's also like, you know, it's like there's something. Something trying to get you. There's something wants you and it's coming after you. [00:59:08] Speaker A: Damn. [00:59:10] Speaker C: And he's like, you know, now having to stick out my neck for you. I don't need you. I don't need you being a problem. [00:59:17] Speaker A: Here's my thing. Is permanent death worse than this? Because like, yeah, that's the thing. Like permanent, that's just nothing in it. Yeah, I take that over getting killed a thousand times. [00:59:29] Speaker C: Yeah, that would probably be pretty nice. [00:59:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:33] Speaker C: And so then we. We turn the page to a two page spread and we get to see the wastes of hell. [00:59:40] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:59:41] Speaker C: And we see down in a. A deep chasm that the mysterious stranger is telling Shirley giants to move and keep going quiet. Got no idea what's lurking around here. And then we see a couple of denizens of hell, the angels with the. The taste, the taste maker angels from that one level. And I wonder if this is this potentially a psychic ice shrimp, Johnny. [01:00:07] Speaker B: It could be. [01:00:08] Speaker C: It could very well be a psychic ice shrimp. And then we see. We see somebody playing that. What's that game that you play with Bran, Johnny? The survival games, the post apocalyptic team game? [01:00:22] Speaker B: What? [01:00:23] Speaker A: Fallout? [01:00:24] Speaker B: Oh, Arc raiders. [01:00:25] Speaker C: Arc raiders, yeah. You got an arc Raider right here. [01:00:28] Speaker B: Yes. [01:00:29] Speaker C: Bella, Zekiel, Bella, Ezekiel, you there? Something big just went down. [01:00:34] Speaker A: That was Eekyl. [01:00:36] Speaker C: So this guy's talking back up to like this. This floating. Floating thing. It's like a weird spaceship from heaven. [01:00:46] Speaker B: Yes. [01:00:47] Speaker C: Yeah. They're talking about the explosion. That was just felt like the explosion. And the guy, the arc raider down there is saying That I got eyes on two figures moving away from the ground zero. Can't see them clearly, but the energy they're giving off, they're practically screaming to be devoured. And so they're talking back and forth. And the angel that's in this weird. The weird spaceship is like, I must. I must connect to the heavenly Internet and see what is going on and get all the images. The. The angel that's plugged into the heavenly Internet is like, no. What happened? I feel him. But how? And the. The guy on the ground's like, what are you talking about? Who's him? And they just go, ow. But the girl looks like the guy in the ground. Who the hell's Al? Do you hear me? Talk to me. And so this. The angel that's doing all this stuff is just, like, poking around, trying to get as much information as possible. And then the guy at the other end of the line goes, Boots. No, Boots, Johnny. [01:01:52] Speaker B: It's Bootsy. [01:01:52] Speaker C: It's Bootsy. Hell, yeah. Fucking Bootsy. [01:01:56] Speaker B: This guy was a character in early Spawn. He was a homeless guy in the [01:02:00] Speaker C: alley and who, it later turned out, was an angel. [01:02:05] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:02:06] Speaker C: He was named Bootsy because he had fancy boots. [01:02:09] Speaker A: Oh, cute. [01:02:11] Speaker C: And then. And then when he does. When he. He gets caught helping a hell spawn, and so he gets arrested by the heaven police. So they. They basically just take him in the middle of the night. And his best unhomed. His best unhomed friend is just like, wait, Bootsy, where are you going? Where's Bootsy? And then just, like, drinks himself to death. So. [01:02:29] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [01:02:31] Speaker C: This isn't a depressing subject matter comic book at all. Got child death. We got being mean to the unhomed. [01:02:41] Speaker A: Yeesh. [01:02:43] Speaker C: And so we. We cut to a third person or a third entity at least. It's somebody just, like, tearing open a weird hell fruit with their fingers. And while they've got the juice running down their hands, a swirling black spot opens and the. The weird wolves from the previous issue come out and they start speaking this, like, Hellcraftian stuff, this crazy language. Yeah, yeah. And he speaks like the. Like the mouth of Sauron and says, show me. And then we see some shadow tricks happen. And then the. The weird smoke wolves, like, turn into a throne. And then this individual sits down and is watching the stranger and Shirley Johnson walking across the wastelands of hell. This is interesting because he can. He can detect the necroplasm that is within Shirley Johnson. And he's like, but, you know, so we gotta find this girl. We gotta get this girl. And so he. He sics. Sics some of his nights on there. Bring me back my toy. Kill the swordsman. Take the hounds. They already have their scent. And he's like, now where was I? Ah, yes. Feeding my roses. And we learned that it wasn't only fruit that he was ripping open, but a poor unfortunate soul. Then we cut back to Shirley and the stranger going into a cave. And Shirley's like, ah, I hate this place. Too many noises. They're scary. The stranger's just like, oh, that's the least of our problems. He's like, I don't know where we are. I don't know where we are. See, he has no memory of this place. Johnny. And then some weird voices start saying, help, please. Is anyone there? So scared. And I would be out of that cave so quickly. Johnny. [01:04:45] Speaker B: Creepy, weird kids with their brains showing. [01:04:47] Speaker C: Yeah, they got like. They got like Loki. Loki crowns on with showing their brains. They're saying, play with us. And then as Shirley Johnson starts trying to be like, oh, hell yeah, kids. Let's go play with them. Like, this weird, creepy spider lady comes out of the back. These are. These are like her. Her little minions. To draw. To draw. [01:05:13] Speaker B: To draw people in. [01:05:14] Speaker C: Yeah, so she can swallow their soul. I swallow you so. And the stranger's like, no, wait, wait, don't go. They're not kids. They're not kids. And then as he's saying that, the spider whips around with some of its. Its web and chops his arm off. So he loses his big fucking sword. And Shirley's like, oh, no. What should I do now? And so Shirley is frozen with fear before this weird spider lady. And the now one armed stranger is like, can't let her die too. And so he's like crawling toward his arm. [01:05:49] Speaker B: Crawling towards his own arm. [01:05:52] Speaker C: And as he's doing that, Shirley Johnson just gets shrink. Right. Right straight through the stomach from the back. [01:06:02] Speaker B: He's got her heart on his. On a spike. Yeah, her intestines are going everywhere. [01:06:08] Speaker A: It's crazy. [01:06:08] Speaker C: It's gross. That's gross. Teddy T looks like he's celebrating. What a jerk. [01:06:13] Speaker A: Is that. Is that the spider that's doing that or is that Spawn? [01:06:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it's this. It's the spider. It's the spider lady. Because. Because Shirley Johnson's turned back around to go like. To look at the. The stranger. [01:06:26] Speaker A: Got it. [01:06:26] Speaker B: Spawn wouldn't do that to a young girl. [01:06:28] Speaker A: You're right. You're right. Not on purpose. [01:06:31] Speaker C: He would totally. [01:06:32] Speaker B: They'd be like, it's collateral damage. [01:06:34] Speaker C: It's war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would totally collateral damage that shit. [01:06:37] Speaker A: Cool. That's crazy. [01:06:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:40] Speaker A: Don't be kind, man. Without power, man, you can't be kind. [01:06:44] Speaker C: Yeah, you gotta be cruel to be kind, Johnny. [01:06:47] Speaker B: That's really what the spawn skull to end the issue. [01:06:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Very nice. Then we get the new generations, new story, new you add. Look at this spawn. Call of Duty toy Ed. [01:07:02] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah. [01:07:03] Speaker C: Before toyed and the image classic said, hell yeah. [01:07:11] Speaker A: Nice. [01:07:12] Speaker C: Oh, that's the curse of Shirley Johnson number one. [01:07:15] Speaker B: Pretty fun. [01:07:16] Speaker C: Hell yeah. [01:07:17] Speaker A: That was fun. It was good. [01:07:19] Speaker C: It's a good one. It's going well. [01:07:20] Speaker B: Some fun imagery that you're not drawing. Just city streets like Jonathan Glapion wanted, man. [01:07:26] Speaker A: That's crazy. [01:07:27] Speaker C: They give him some. Some massive amounts of free reign. But much like our podcast is often interrupted by the squawkings and squibblings of tiny puppy doggies. We need to rate this puppy, Johnny. [01:07:45] Speaker B: It's time to rate the puppy [01:07:49] Speaker C: rating. [01:07:50] Speaker B: Rating first up or only up, we had Curse of Surly Johnson number one. It was highly anticipated in the small community. I really liked Ties in a lot of old school spawn stuff while being a good, like, kind of jumping on point. A lot of really cool hell imagery that we haven't seen in a long time. [01:08:11] Speaker C: Yeah, Bootsy. [01:08:13] Speaker B: You get Bootsy. A lot of implications about connecting to the greater Spawns universe. And I'm excited to see where it goes and what this journey entails for Shirley Johnson and her new friend. [01:08:27] Speaker C: Hell yeah. [01:08:28] Speaker B: I love the art. Jonathan Glappy has just got this really unique style. I don't really know how to describe it. It's surreal, I guess. Yeah, very surreal. And it fits the story very well. But it's getting back that real grim and gritty early 90s spawn stuff and kind of delivering on the promises of some of that. Like, hell, we saw in those early issues that we never really. They did like 100 issues of street level stuff, you know, like. Yeah, I love it when Spawn gets cosmic. So this is really, really fun for me. I'm giving it four out of five. Little kid fingers, little fingies. [01:09:07] Speaker C: Very nice. Very nice. Would you like to go second or last, Tom? [01:09:12] Speaker A: I'll go second. [01:09:13] Speaker C: Okay. [01:09:14] Speaker A: I really liked it. I don't. I mean, this is only my second issue so far to really dive into. But yeah, I really like the. The setting. It feels just like desolate and sad and scary all at once. So. Very cool. She's very cool. I like the. I don't know, she. I like the kindness that even. That she tries to give people in hell. It's like a very positive take on that. So I hope that Shirley gets. Get some positive things in the future. And I'm gonna give it three teddy t's out of four. [01:09:57] Speaker C: Teddy t's three teddy t's out of 4. Hell, yeah. I think this book is great. I love. I love the art. The art is amazing. I love the whole idea of going back to a lost soul. That was Billy Kincaid's final victim. And sort of like. Because, yeah, we. We. They totally just kind of blow over, like, the victims of the Billy Kincaid stuff. And it's just like, oh, this is bad, man. This man be bad. [01:10:28] Speaker B: He had a little girl locked in a fridge. [01:10:30] Speaker C: Yeah. With no fingies. It's a. It's a great concept. It's. It's written very well. Its art is fantastic. And it's just. It's just a fun, creepy time. And I like. And I'm liking the. The big. The big meaty issues. And I am gonna give it three and. No, I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give it four. Tripping over a root in the woods and getting attacked by shadow beasts. Out of five. [01:10:58] Speaker A: Heck, yeah. [01:11:00] Speaker C: That's a good frightening. A good frightening thing. [01:11:02] Speaker A: Watch us watch those tree limbs in the woods, y'. All. [01:11:05] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, definitely. [01:11:06] Speaker B: You gotta watch it afterwards. Yeah, you gotta keep an eye on your feet. [01:11:08] Speaker A: Literally. [01:11:09] Speaker B: Yeah, they'll get you. [01:11:11] Speaker A: I trip every single time I go in the woods. It sucks. [01:11:15] Speaker C: I trip every single time I stand up and move. [01:11:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I do that a lot. [01:11:21] Speaker B: Shirley Johnson, dance classes and tap classes in college. It keeps me nimble. [01:11:26] Speaker A: Nice. There you go. [01:11:28] Speaker B: I go a lot. If I start to fall over, I do, like, a little dance move and I save myself. [01:11:35] Speaker C: Saved by the power of dance. [01:11:39] Speaker B: Yes. [01:11:39] Speaker A: Peter. Peter's over at the corner just, like, crying. He's like. [01:11:42] Speaker B: He's like, I'm so happy for you. My college professor is just like, yes. [01:11:46] Speaker C: Johnny Chuli is. [01:11:47] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:11:48] Speaker C: Lord of the Dance. [01:11:49] Speaker A: Peter. Peter is our college dance professor. Sorry. Shout out Peter. [01:11:54] Speaker B: Know each other. [01:11:55] Speaker A: Shout out Peter. [01:11:56] Speaker B: I bet he's Westero. [01:11:58] Speaker A: He's listened to every. It's B. Peter Westero. [01:12:01] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, my God, I forgot. [01:12:04] Speaker C: He's stopped listening now. [01:12:06] Speaker B: Yeah, he's gonna get his name right. [01:12:08] Speaker A: He's like, I listen to your podcast, Johnny, and, yeah, I said my name wrong. [01:12:12] Speaker B: And I'm like, I haven't heard of you in 15 years. He, like, calls me to tell me [01:12:20] Speaker C: that [01:12:23] Speaker B: I'm like, well, thanks for listening. Exactly what I'd say. [01:12:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm a patreon. He goes, I'm a patreon. [01:12:31] Speaker B: What are you gonna cover? When are you gonna cover Bloodletter already? And I'm like, jesus, Peter, we're getting to it. [01:12:40] Speaker C: I like that he's on us for the new stuff and not the old stuff. [01:12:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Peter keeps up with Swan. [01:12:46] Speaker A: He loves Spawn. He's a big spawn. [01:12:48] Speaker B: Who would watch illegally taped Broadway shows constantly? [01:12:51] Speaker A: Jesus. [01:12:52] Speaker B: He has so many bootleg Broadway shows. [01:12:54] Speaker C: Well, Johnny, that just means that if we were to bring the Spawn, the musical to life, he'd watch it. [01:13:00] Speaker A: He would. He would. [01:13:02] Speaker B: He's like, I thought it was a little grim. [01:13:05] Speaker A: He's made me watch plenty of, like, musicals that he directed of college productions. And I'm like, man, I don't want to watch this. [01:13:16] Speaker B: I don't even want to watch if I was in it. [01:13:18] Speaker C: No. [01:13:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:13:18] Speaker A: I was like, I don't want to watch it when I was in it. [01:13:20] Speaker B: Let alone, like, tape theater. That isn't, like, production value. Like, it's just horrifying to watch. [01:13:25] Speaker C: Just like, from the back of the. From the. [01:13:27] Speaker B: From the back, the lights are so bright. Everything's, like, washed out. When the lights come up and, like, I can't hear anybody. They're like, ah, I'm a hobbit. [01:13:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:36] Speaker C: It's either, like, so wide that you see the entire audience or, like, zoomed in and trying to move around on who's talking, but it's never keeping up. [01:13:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember. I remember watching it, and I was like, man, Peter, it sounds like I was yelling. He's like, you are. I was like. I was like, well, thanks. [01:13:55] Speaker B: You gotta have a professional crew. Like the PBS crew that filmed Cats. [01:14:00] Speaker C: Yes, definitely. [01:14:01] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:14:02] Speaker B: Or Hamilton. That's a good Hamilton. [01:14:05] Speaker A: Hamilton. A lot of the. [01:14:07] Speaker C: They don't do. They do. They don't really do that as much anymore, do they? Because they used to have, like, one [01:14:11] Speaker B: was the last big one. [01:14:13] Speaker C: Because I know, like, National Theater at home. The Sweeney Todd with Angela. Not Angela. Angela. No, Angela Ansberry and what's his hits? Raul something. Yeah, they. They filmed that one with the. With the. The rotating. [01:14:35] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Company. No, they did Company, I think, with Raul Esparza, but. [01:14:44] Speaker B: Well, now I don't want to film and release them. Because they want you to go pay, like, six, seven hundred dollars to go see it. [01:14:50] Speaker C: Yeah, they want you to pay $700 to see somebody poorly arrange some Beatles songs into something that they want to [01:14:57] Speaker B: pay $700 to a guy, go, hey, I'm Beetlejuice. [01:15:00] Speaker C: Let's sing a song. [01:15:03] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [01:15:04] Speaker C: The dead are coming. [01:15:07] Speaker A: Watch out, the coast are here. [01:15:12] Speaker B: I'm just so annoying at that. [01:15:14] Speaker C: If they want you to pay 700 to see Evan Hansen, that and it's [01:15:20] Speaker A: still the same guy. [01:15:22] Speaker B: Moulin Rouge has, like, half the songs for the movies. I couldn't get the rights to all of them, so it's like, different songs. [01:15:27] Speaker C: Well, that sucks. [01:15:28] Speaker B: I don't even know, like, a version's in it. [01:15:29] Speaker C: Why would you want. Why would you go see Moulin Rouge without seeing the Moulin Rouge music man? [01:15:34] Speaker B: I mean, some of it's in there, but not all of it. [01:15:37] Speaker C: It's a good movie. [01:15:37] Speaker B: I know. They see. His chandelier is definitely in the musical. [01:15:42] Speaker C: Okay. [01:15:43] Speaker B: Like, Ziddler sings that, I think, instead of, like, a version. Okay. [01:15:47] Speaker A: Weird. [01:15:54] Speaker C: Nobody could play him like you. No one's gone. [01:15:57] Speaker B: No one's going to. [01:15:59] Speaker C: It's a good. [01:16:00] Speaker B: I just watched that on Valentine's Day with my sweetie. [01:16:03] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. That's heartbreaking to watch on Valentine's Day. It's a pretty heartbreaking movie, man. [01:16:10] Speaker B: If you end it with the show ends, you don't see your die behind the curtain. And it's a perfect ending. [01:16:16] Speaker A: True, but it's a good point. [01:16:18] Speaker B: But then she dies. [01:16:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:16:20] Speaker B: Spoiler alert for Moulin Rouge. [01:16:23] Speaker A: If you haven't seen Moulin Rouge, she dies. [01:16:25] Speaker B: Yeah, sorry. It came out 2001. Okay. [01:16:28] Speaker A: 25 years ago. [01:16:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:16:31] Speaker C: That is. What? Jesus Christ. Wow. [01:16:34] Speaker B: So old. [01:16:35] Speaker A: Wow. Oh, my God. [01:16:41] Speaker C: Well, you know what else? Well, you know what else is good besides Baz Luhrmann movies? People that we know and. Hey, we know. Tom. Tom. Hey. [01:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:16:53] Speaker C: Hey, do you want people to learn more about you out in the world? [01:16:57] Speaker A: I guess so. Just. Yeah. Sibo Thomas, cbo Thomas. Tulsa is my Instagram handle. Follow me on the Grams. Yeah. And hell, yeah. [01:17:09] Speaker B: You got some shows coming up. [01:17:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm doing some Shakespeare, and I'll be doing some ancient Greek. Some Sophocles in April, so. [01:17:20] Speaker C: Nice. [01:17:20] Speaker B: Cool. [01:17:21] Speaker A: Antigone. So look out for that on the interwebs. [01:17:29] Speaker C: They're doing togas. Or are they doing contemporary dress on that? [01:17:31] Speaker B: They do, like, Blade Runner costumes? [01:17:34] Speaker A: We're doing naked. Completely. [01:17:36] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. [01:17:40] Speaker A: It's kind of. It's kind of like. It's not Blade Runner. It's kind of ancient Greeky, but it's flowy. It's. It's very flowy. Like the Ancient Greek. It's very, very flowy and steampunk. And it's gonna be goblins. [01:17:54] Speaker B: It's gonna be, all the Persians are goblins. [01:17:59] Speaker A: All the people are goblins. Yeah, it'll be good. [01:18:02] Speaker C: Excellent. Excellent. [01:18:04] Speaker A: Yeah. So. [01:18:05] Speaker C: So if you find yourself in Tulsa, [01:18:06] Speaker A: if you find yourself in Tulsa and on April 8th through the 11th, come see me perform Ancient Greek. [01:18:14] Speaker C: Hell yeah. [01:18:15] Speaker B: Or watch Reservoir Dogs and see his reservation dogs and see his ass. [01:18:18] Speaker A: See my butt. [01:18:19] Speaker C: Episode two or eight Season two, Episode eight. Do it. Do it. Awesome. [01:18:25] Speaker B: Well, while you're looking up Tom, make sure to look up us. We are regarding Spawn Pod on Instagram. Can reach us by email regarding SpawnPod gmail.com David is giving away a Violator, [01:18:36] Speaker C: a 1993 violated trade paperback. If you send us an email about why we should send it to you and an address, we can send it to you at and you win. [01:18:47] Speaker B: And we think your reason is the best, we'll send it to you. [01:18:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Or if only one person ever responds, hey, guess what? [01:18:52] Speaker B: We'll send it to you. [01:18:54] Speaker A: So I've heard you guys have gotten a lot already. A lot. A lot of submissions. Okay, well, I was trying to sell it. [01:19:04] Speaker B: It's okay. [01:19:05] Speaker C: We know that the first episode we mentioned it on hasn't been released yet. [01:19:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, duh. That's what I was thinking. I was like, man, it's just free. That's right. [01:19:14] Speaker C: So if we had received a lot of submissions for it already, then we have bigger problems than [01:19:21] Speaker A: predicting the future is what I'm doing. [01:19:23] Speaker B: Yes, [01:19:26] Speaker C: that would be very creepy. But I mean, I guess, you know, we got fucking Palantir and all that shit. While you're on the Internet, don't forget to Google Lonnie Bones music and give him some love. He does our music. And also, like, subscribe. Share with your friends, your family, your co workers, your neighbors. Go see a play and then during intermission, turn to everybody around you and be like, hey, you want to. You like this? [01:19:52] Speaker B: You know in Moulin Rouge, they aren't the same songs in the movie. You're, like, sitting there in the audience like, this isn't right. [01:20:01] Speaker A: You're like, hold on, chandelier. [01:20:03] Speaker B: That wasn't written in 2001. [01:20:05] Speaker A: Chandelier? [01:20:07] Speaker B: Why is he saying about a chandelier? [01:20:10] Speaker C: They do. They do. They do some. Some swingy stuff. So, I mean, it's a good. It's a good compromise. [01:20:15] Speaker B: No, I mean, it fits, but it's just different, David. [01:20:18] Speaker C: Oh, different how? Things aren't allowed to be different. Boys, they Got to be the exact same. [01:20:23] Speaker B: The only thing new created the last five years was K Pop Demon Hunters, evidently, so. [01:20:28] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:20:29] Speaker B: Everything else is a remake. [01:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah, K Pop's the only original thing. [01:20:33] Speaker B: No Demon Hunters. [01:20:34] Speaker A: What's Demon Hunters? [01:20:36] Speaker C: Is that the K Pop Demon Hunter, the movie? [01:20:39] Speaker B: You haven't heard of this? This one, like 10 grams is like the biggest song in the world. We're going up, up, up. This is our moment. We're gonna be getting. You know, you're gonna be golden. Oh, [01:20:54] Speaker C: really? [01:20:55] Speaker A: Really? [01:20:56] Speaker B: David knows about them and you don't talk. That's surprising. [01:20:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I. I know it, but I don't know the songs well enough to sing them. I like, I like. What's his Face? The cat. Derpy. I like Derpy. [01:21:07] Speaker B: Name's Derpy. That's offensive. [01:21:09] Speaker C: His name's Derpy. I didn't fucking name it, Johnny. [01:21:12] Speaker B: He said it though. [01:21:15] Speaker A: Like in that one, you're saying I'm canceled. [01:21:17] Speaker C: You're saying the last thing that I ever get to say on this podcast is may the Scorch be with you. [01:21:21] Speaker B: What was that? [01:21:22] Speaker C: Said? You're saying the last thing I ever get to say on this podcast is may the Scorch be with you. [01:21:27] Speaker B: That's what you always say at the end. [01:21:28] Speaker C: Yeah, and I said it. That's what I'm saying it. Well, made the charm, David. Johnny. And not David. Johnny. [01:21:35] Speaker B: David. You're talking to yourself. [01:21:37] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [01:21:39] Speaker B: Johnny. [01:21:42] Speaker C: May the scorched be with you. [01:21:45] Speaker A: Also with you, David. [01:21:46] Speaker C: Hell yeah. Passing the piece. Passing the piece. You got to say. And the respawn be with you. Listen to respawn every Friday morning at 4:20. [01:21:56] Speaker B: And also with you. [01:21:57] Speaker C: And also with you. [01:21:58] Speaker B: Then you shake everyone's hand. You go, good game. [01:22:02] Speaker C: You know what pissed me off more than anything? When you learn that professional athletes when they good game, they don't good game the other team, they only good game their team. What the is that? [01:22:13] Speaker B: Shake the hands, go again. Good game from the other team. [01:22:17] Speaker C: But the professionals only use their team [01:22:21] Speaker B: because when the orange slices at halftime. [01:22:23] Speaker C: Because when the, when the losing. When the. The loser team loses, they don't even good game themselves. They just like go to the locker room and throw around. [01:22:30] Speaker A: That's true. They do. [01:22:31] Speaker C: I think professional athletes should good game each other. [01:22:34] Speaker A: That's true. [01:22:35] Speaker C: They should kiss the teams. [01:22:36] Speaker B: You have to listen to the national anthem every time. They should have to thank each other. Yeah. [01:22:41] Speaker C: And then they could all. They could. They could just like go ham on some star crunch and squeeze its. [01:22:47] Speaker A: Or some ham and I say they need to kiss each other a little bit. [01:22:51] Speaker C: Oh. Oh, yeah, absolutely. [01:22:53] Speaker A: At the end. Go. Good game. [01:22:56] Speaker C: There's no reason to even bother without that. [01:22:58] Speaker B: Yeah, they gotta give a kissing line. [01:22:59] Speaker A: Good game, you know. [01:23:01] Speaker C: You know how much ratings would go through the roof if they all started kissing like you had? You have to come to the game to see them kiss. I'm going to the game. Yeah. [01:23:07] Speaker B: Remember that time when Trump was like, all ques or something? He was like, I'm kiss all these generals. He was like, they're all so beautiful and handsome. [01:23:16] Speaker A: I'm gonna kiss all the men and all the beautiful women. He said, all the men and all the beautiful women. I love. [01:23:27] Speaker B: We love it. Oh, dude, we're all going to hell. Just like Shirley Johnson. [01:23:32] Speaker C: I mean, we can. At least. At least we'll know that she'll be there to take care of us. As long as we're not pieces of shit. Johnny. [01:23:39] Speaker A: Yep. And as long as she doesn't. [01:23:41] Speaker C: I guess. I guess as long as she survives this being stabbed by the spider lady shit. I totally forgot about that already. Oops. [01:23:47] Speaker B: Four or five issues out now. [01:23:49] Speaker C: Well, there are more issues. So she has. Spoiler alert. She has to live, even though she's technically already dead. [01:24:00] Speaker B: I'm. Now I'm just confused. [01:24:28] Speaker C: It.