Episode 114 - Spawn Kills Every Spawn 2 and Scorched 33

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Little fool. Do you have any idea who you're dealing with? The sort of power you're going up against? Good evening and welcome to the Malbowls. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best spawn podcast. I am your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:47] Speaker B: And I am your co host, David Williams. And Johnny, it's like ding, dang dark before I leave work in the evenings now, and let me tell you, I fucking love it. It's so good. [00:01:01] Speaker A: You like it being dark? [00:01:02] Speaker B: I like it being dark. It's dark when I go to work. It's dark when I come home from work. I ain't gotta do shit. I could just sit on the couch and not feel bad about wasting the sunlight that's going on outside. [00:01:12] Speaker A: That's true. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Hell yeah. It's so great. Every time I hear somebody complain about, oh, it's dark so early, I. I'm. [00:01:21] Speaker A: Just like, yeah, I don't mind it. [00:01:24] Speaker B: I think it's great. [00:01:26] Speaker A: You got. We always. We always start talking about the weather of the seasons. You're very seasonal, man. [00:01:30] Speaker B: Johnny, all my. All my good bits have already been used. We've done. We've done a few episodes of this and then, you know, I've gotten to the point where we either talk about the spawn or we talk about the weather. That's what I've got. [00:01:46] Speaker A: That's it. [00:01:46] Speaker B: I'm not a very interesting person, Johnny. I don't. I don't know how you didn't realize this. [00:01:51] Speaker A: We had a great conversation about Brad Pitt a couple episodes ago. [00:01:54] Speaker B: I should probably do a retrospective of watching Brad Pitt movies because I don't think I've seen like a Brad Pitt. [00:02:00] Speaker A: Vehicle in a while because I saw a Bullet Train. It was pretty good. [00:02:06] Speaker B: I. I sat down to watch bullet train and 15 minutes into it was like, holy shit, I've actually seen this movie before. I didn't remember a goddamn thing about. [00:02:16] Speaker A: Yeah, it was all right. [00:02:19] Speaker B: You know, with most famous people, that's a. When they do a lot of movies, there's just a fatigue at a point and it takes me a while to go, oh, yeah. Actually, no, they're really fucking good. I should probably just. [00:02:31] Speaker A: You get to watch all the oceans movies. You get to watch. Those are fun. [00:02:36] Speaker B: It's good stuff. Yeah, he does a lot of heist films, Johnny, and I like that. I like a heist film. [00:02:42] Speaker A: He does a lot of heist films. [00:02:44] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it does a lot of heist films. And like crime. Crime. He's a crime guy a lot. [00:02:53] Speaker A: Seven. [00:02:54] Speaker B: Seven. Fucking Bullet Train. He's an assassin. [00:02:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:59] Speaker B: This has just become the Brad Pitt Hour. [00:03:01] Speaker A: Johnny, that's a new podcast. What are we actually here to do? [00:03:07] Speaker B: We are here to talk about Spawn, aren't we? [00:03:09] Speaker A: We are. We're here to talk to you about two issues from Spawn's universe. This is regarding Spawn, where each week we bring you two issues, except when we don't. This week is no different. We have two issues from the modern Spawn Cavalcade of titles. [00:03:25] Speaker B: Yes, the spawnalcade. [00:03:28] Speaker A: The spawnalcade. We have. I don't know if that works, Finn. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Does it? [00:03:33] Speaker A: We have Spawn Kills every spawn number two. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Mm. [00:03:38] Speaker A: And scorched 33. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. That was actually quite topical, Johnny. Spinalcade not working because there's a lot of Spawn Portmanteaus Spawn Manteaus, if you will. That I tried to. Or port Spawn toes. There we go. That's better. Port Spawn Toes that I tried to put together while reading Spawn Kills Every Spawn number two. And a lot of them didn't work. And some of them actually were terrible. And I am sad that I ever actually thought that word in my brain. Glad that I didn't say it out loud. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Well, there's Spawn everything. And Spawn Kills. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Everyone should probably start talking about it, because the fun. The fun starts where we start, Johnny. On the COVID On the COVID Yes, indeed. [00:04:26] Speaker A: Which I have the A cover. [00:04:29] Speaker B: I also have the A cover. [00:04:32] Speaker A: The Duennius sketchcraft himself. It says After Burn and Austin, which I'm assuming is the classic X Men cover that this is going off of. [00:04:45] Speaker B: The Days of Future Past cover with Wolverine and Kitty Pryde in front of a wall of wanted posters. Yes, indeed. [00:04:55] Speaker A: Yeah. That was from, like, Days of Future Past, right? [00:04:57] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:04:59] Speaker A: But you've got Chibi Spawn with a violator gun. [00:05:03] Speaker B: Yeah. It even says right there, buddy, the bats even got little bitty, like, Spawn Skull Pistols there that he's blasting away with. Yeah, I like that. The Malbolge gun actually is, like, dripping that green necroplasmic drool. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Looks like it's Malbolge's decapitated head. You just stuck it on there. [00:05:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, I guess that is okay. For some reason, I thought it was growing organically out of the gun. [00:05:34] Speaker A: That's what I would assume. [00:05:35] Speaker B: You know, it was like existence. It was a removed prop from Existence with Jude Law. [00:05:43] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Existence. I haven't thought about that in a minute. [00:05:45] Speaker B: I learned something that I now have to share with you, Johnny. The flesh gun that he has. [00:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:53] Speaker B: The original concept design of that had a foreskin. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Nice that's very Cronenberg. [00:06:01] Speaker B: So continuing the body horror with circumcision. And we should probably stop doing it. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Oh, my God. There is a B cover. And it is by Ben Templesmith. [00:06:14] Speaker B: It's. It takes little. It takes little silly Chibi Spawn and turns him very creepy Johnny. [00:06:22] Speaker A: He does. He's almost like a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac or something. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. It's. It's the. The Chibi Spawn booth at Spawn Con. And he's just got. He's got a chair with a gigantic back, and behind it there's just like a whole bunch of bodies sticking out. There's a. Well, I guess there's a Spawn and a she Spawn and a gunslinger Headslinger head, and he's Evie Sword, and it's got the little hash marks of how many he's killed. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I like this one a lot too. I actually didn't even see it. I just picked up my book. I always pre ordered the A cover, but I might have gotten this one. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. I think. I don't remember seeing this cover at all. So I must have just not even looked. I must have just been happy with what they gave me and didn't even bother looking at what else was on the wreck. [00:07:10] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. [00:07:11] Speaker B: There's just. There's just so much on the. On this A cover. It's wild on the A cover. [00:07:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you've got. I like Sam Twitch True Crime podcast sticker. You know we like podcast stickers. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Yes, we do. And just like all the little. Like every poster is a full poster, even if you only see a little bit of it. [00:07:32] Speaker A: I'm trying to figure out that one says which. [00:07:34] Speaker B: Which one? [00:07:35] Speaker A: The one that's like just half on the left side. [00:07:38] Speaker B: On the left. The wanted Chibi Spawn invited back. It says Eric Larson. I'm pretty sure it says Eric Larson was right. Oh, about what? I'm not quite sure, but I'm sure if I read Savage Dragon, I would understand. [00:07:54] Speaker A: Okay, Eric Larson was right. There you go. [00:07:56] Speaker B: But we probably shouldn't spend forever on the COVID Johnny, because we could spend the entire time on this cover teasing out all the things. [00:08:04] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Simmons and Fitzgerald fight up at the top. [00:08:08] Speaker B: Simmons of East Fitzgerald, Crime Alley Studios. Gunslinger bit the dust. Spawn Dead Meat Redeemer. Annihilated medieval worm food. [00:08:20] Speaker A: We pop it open. [00:08:21] Speaker B: Mm. [00:08:22] Speaker A: And we got the credits. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:08:24] Speaker A: Script plot by John Lehman. Art by Rob Sketchcraft Duenas, Color by Robert Nugent. Lettering by John Lehman doing double duty. Yeah, we already covered the covers duty. Creative director is Todd McFarlane, and editor in chief is Thomas Healy. [00:08:42] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Previously in the Scorch, Spawny devises his master plan. In order to be the coolest, awesomest, and raddest spawn of all time, he needs to be the only Spawn. They call him Spawny. [00:08:57] Speaker B: So I. Because he's a little Spawny? [00:08:59] Speaker A: I guess so. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Little Chibi Spawn. He's a little guy. He's a strange little guy. Johnny. [00:09:06] Speaker A: He's a little guy. [00:09:07] Speaker B: He even says so in the book. [00:09:09] Speaker A: This does. Yeah, pretty much. That was the last issue. Was him just the exciting incident of Spawn Con driving him crazy and some shenanigans in his bedroom. And he decided to go kill every Spawn. [00:09:21] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. [00:09:23] Speaker A: And we open with the main spawn holding him upside down, shaking out his lunch money. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Albert Simmons himself just doing the. Doing the classic Batman, holding him over the edge of the building kind of thing. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Yeah, that's our opening quote is right here. [00:09:43] Speaker B: Yep, yep, yep. This is. This is. I want to. I want to say, Johnny, that these three pages are the most serious pages in this entire book. And I like that. Sketchcraft took that and, like, he did serious. He didn't draw a whole bunch of trash with a whole bunch of Easter eggs in it. It's just straight up serious Spawn on the rooftop action. [00:10:12] Speaker A: Yeah. And I love his Spawn. [00:10:14] Speaker B: It's great. It's great. I. As much as I love his goofiness in this, I would totally read a serious book that he draws, because this is great. This is great. [00:10:25] Speaker A: I love Spawn's head shape. [00:10:27] Speaker B: It's very good. And the stylization of the white marks. It's real good. [00:10:35] Speaker A: He's just telling him, you're not going to kill every Spawn. You're insignificant. You're not even a real Spawn. You're certainly not in continuity. [00:10:43] Speaker B: And I like the. I like the upside down letters that are actually quite easy to read. Upside down. Like, you don't even have to flip it over. It's great. He says he's, well, yeah, I'm gonna be significant. I'm gonna be in continuity. And he says, in order to do that, you gotta take a dirt nap. It's funny just how, like, he keeps threatening this gigantic spawn who's holding him upside down. Yeah. [00:11:15] Speaker A: And he's like, I'll have it all. Have the comics, the toys, the movie. Stuck in perpetual Hollywood development. Hell, yeah. [00:11:23] Speaker B: And Spawn says, I wouldn't talk about derivative spinoff characters if I were you. Hilarious. [00:11:32] Speaker A: And Then Spawn just. [00:11:34] Speaker B: Just like, squeezes head until his head pops like a zip splat. [00:11:40] Speaker A: I love the frame around the splat. [00:11:42] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's a gooey for a gooey frame. There's a lot of blood and guts and goo for such a little guy. [00:11:50] Speaker A: His eyeballs flying. [00:11:52] Speaker B: He's just. He's just covered in it, Johnny. [00:11:55] Speaker A: Like, he didn't expect him explode so much. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Like, instead of. Instead of holding the. Holding the orbs like Al Simmons tends to do, he's holding the goo. No invisible oranges for him, but visible green goo. And then at that point, when we turn the page, the little chibispawn wakes up from his nightmare. [00:12:18] Speaker A: It was all a dream. He's wearing a Spawn hockey hockey jersey to bed. He's got Melbourne's head. [00:12:28] Speaker B: I like how a bunch of Todd. [00:12:30] Speaker A: Father's pizza in the corner. [00:12:31] Speaker B: I like how Buddy the bat also wakes up screaming because it's like they share. They shared a dream. [00:12:39] Speaker A: They shared a consciousness. [00:12:40] Speaker B: Mm. There's a. He's got his cape hanging up on his bed. His bed knob there. And so he's sitting there, and he's. He's like, who. Who. Who looks like. It looks like he's got a little. Couple of little bed bugs there. [00:12:55] Speaker A: And his mom's like, you didn't wet the bed again, did you? [00:12:57] Speaker B: And he says, no, no. And this is totally wet sheets. So he did. He. He wetted his bed Journey. [00:13:06] Speaker A: Damn. What a feeling. [00:13:09] Speaker B: So. And he's like, this dream. I think this dream is telling me something Buddy said. I think that means the plan isn't gonna work, so we gotta try a new plan. So he's got to go back to the old drawing board. And, Johnny, he actually has. He actually has a drawing board. [00:13:25] Speaker A: He has a drawing board. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like. It's. He says it's simple. Maybe too simple. And then we look at the actual. The actual plan. And that's not a simple plan at all, Johnny. [00:13:40] Speaker A: No. And somehow it involves spogs. [00:13:43] Speaker B: It does indeed. Spot. Spogs are between the mousetrap for Spawns and the tank nukes. So it's a pretty high up there part of the plan, Johnny. It's devastating. Yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna slam him. [00:14:01] Speaker A: He's gonna hit him with those slammers. [00:14:03] Speaker B: Yeah, indeed. I like all the. All the different things. All the ways to kill Spawn. There's the Anvil. There's the Roast and Toast. There's the killer team. [00:14:14] Speaker A: There's the Boom K. Boom K Bouquet of dynamite. [00:14:20] Speaker B: The spawn trap, which is the mousetrap response. The spocks, the tank newts, which all leads to rip spawn. Rest in peace or rest in. What's a good spawn thing that starts with P? Is there any spawn stuff that starts with P? [00:14:39] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:14:40] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Purgatory. [00:14:43] Speaker B: I wanted to say necroplasm, but that doesn't start with P. You can't just say plasm. Rest in plasm. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know what you'd say. Peace, I guess. [00:14:54] Speaker B: I guess, I guess. [00:14:55] Speaker A: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Come on, Johnny. We got a fiddle. We got to fiddle around. But yeah, then there's this little guy, eats so much Todd Father's pizza. [00:15:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And drinks a lot of spaz energy drink named after the ILM guy. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And a lot of. A lot of trimmer. Trimmer iced coffee. [00:15:18] Speaker A: Oh, is that what it is? Oh, he's got both. [00:15:20] Speaker B: Yeah, he's got both. And underneath the Todd Father's pizza boxes are actually issues of from the first and the second spawn kills everyone. [00:15:31] Speaker A: Oh, you're right. He's reading his own shit. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Yeah. He says, you know what? No, no, no. It's not too simple. This is a good. This is a good plan. But you know what? We could come up with a better plan. And this whole issue is just him thinking he has a good plan and then being like, no, no, no, no. [00:15:50] Speaker A: Let'S change it so let's get a better plan. [00:15:52] Speaker B: He. He definitely didn't listen to your directive of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. In making this spawn, this killing spawn plan, Johnny. Because he. Yeah, he keeps amending. [00:16:05] Speaker A: And like you do in the modern world, when you have a problem, he turns to AI to try to help solve it. [00:16:10] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:16:10] Speaker A: He says he'll go on the Internet because the Internet knows everything and it's never wrong. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Truth, Jenny. If it's on the Internet, it's true. [00:16:19] Speaker A: It's true. Especially in the age of AI. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And so he props his computer up on his stinky feet and asks it, who is the lamest, dumbest, easiest to kill, most deserving of a death spot of them all? Johnny. [00:16:36] Speaker A: And it's him. [00:16:37] Speaker B: And it's him. He does not like that answer, Johnny. [00:16:39] Speaker A: No, I mean, who does like an AI answer? [00:16:42] Speaker B: Yeah, but he did say that it's never wrong. So he's got a. He's got a reckon with his own. [00:16:47] Speaker A: Oh, it's wrong. I was at the bar the other night, talking with Bran, and we were trying to figure out what were the top grossing movies of this year so far. Something you think would be really easy? [00:16:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:56] Speaker A: I mean, that's just data. [00:16:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:58] Speaker A: And so it started listing them, and it was like, Oppenheimer, Barbie. It said, like, Dune 2. OPPENHEIMER Barbie. And like, no, no, no. This year. [00:17:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:08] Speaker A: It's so bad at it because it just, like. It just like, gets the gist of things and then like, spits it back out. And it's like, I couldn't get it to just do movies released in 2024, man. [00:17:18] Speaker B: Gemini, man. Well, maybe you should just stop using AI. Everybody. It's bad. [00:17:25] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. It's worthless. It's not worthless. I don't know. It's worth a lot to some companies. Did you see. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Did you have a similar censored word bubble when you were trying to figure out how to get that to work for you, Johnny? [00:17:40] Speaker A: Basically just like Chibi Spawn yelling here. Yeah. No, it's just like, it should be able to figure that out. That should be really easy. What are the top grossing movies of 2024? And it was like, Barbie, Oppenheimer, and all these movies that came out last year. [00:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Don't look at me, Johnny. [00:17:57] Speaker A: I'm not. [00:17:59] Speaker B: Good. I told you not to. [00:18:02] Speaker A: You're right. [00:18:05] Speaker B: But then, so unsatisfied with that answer, he's. He's back again, wondering which Spawn he's going to kill first. And he's like, there's like a billion Spawns out there. There's got to be some out there for me to kill. And he's looking at some of his stuff on the floor, and he's got pictures of all the main Spawn characters that he's drawn little hearts all over. [00:18:33] Speaker A: He loves them. [00:18:34] Speaker B: He loved him. He larbed him. And then. And then he hears some splish splashing going on in the bathroom. [00:18:41] Speaker A: Johnny Bustin. So what's going on in here? [00:18:44] Speaker B: He kicks open the door in classic Spawn fashion, and he sees. He sees a little. He sees a little bum bum brushing. [00:18:50] Speaker A: His teeth with a giant brush. Your toothbrush. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Brush Elator. That's what it says. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Brush elator. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Brush elator. I'm. I'm getting old, Johnny. I'm, like, squinting at all this small stuff. [00:19:01] Speaker A: I can't read that stuff. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Last night on the couch, I was sitting there like, what? What is that? And, like, bringing the book to my face and putting it away, like, you know, like an old man does. I took off my glasses a little bit and tried to get up, right up. Johnny. I'm getting old. Sucks. [00:19:19] Speaker A: I mean, that's. That Rob Dwayne's detail. You got that super detailed. Every little thing is a joke or something. [00:19:28] Speaker B: Yeah, It's. The sheer amount of stuff put in here is just insane. And then, you know, he's. He's upset because he thought that he had flushed all these bum bums back in the last series. But the two of them have come back and they're like, hahaha. They're. They're causing. They're causing some ruckus. But they are. [00:19:51] Speaker A: I love that. Like a little thing that's just so excited to be chaotic. Like, I love a Gremlin. [00:19:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:57] Speaker A: I even like the Minions a little bit. [00:19:59] Speaker B: I mean, the Minions are fucking great. There's a reason that everybody goes Gaga for Minions. Yeah. [00:20:06] Speaker A: They go Lady Gaga for them. [00:20:08] Speaker B: It's because they rule. Just don't ask them where they were between 1938 and 1945. [00:20:16] Speaker A: Yeah, they were not helping Hitler. [00:20:20] Speaker B: They were all in comas. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Didn't they do that? They like, froze him in ice till after the World War II. [00:20:27] Speaker B: I think they did have to put something in continuity, and I think something like that exists. But I haven't seen all of the movies, so I cannot confirm or deny. [00:20:36] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure that's what happens in Minions. Just because they didn't want to deal with. Well, obviously they would work for Hitler. [00:20:41] Speaker B: Because I think there's like a. Please. If my minion continuity is wrong, please tell us at. Regarding spawnpodmail.com But I'm pretty sure that part of the. That that movie where they meet Gru for the first time is that they're in like a. Like a. That Marvel forgotten world that's on the inside of the globe where the dinosaurs still live. I'm pretty sure they're in an area kind of like that. And Gru goes on an expedition to find them because he's heard of some mythical Minions who can help. [00:21:11] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:13] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure that's how it happens. [00:21:15] Speaker A: There you go. [00:21:16] Speaker B: Minions. Two Minions. But yeah, so these little. These little bum bums come out and one of them finds the printouts of Spawn Clipedia. Spawn Cyclopedia Volume 1, Handbook of All Things Spawn, and Handbook 2. It's. It's the. Volume 2 is the handbook of More Things Spawn. [00:21:38] Speaker A: Yeah, they're like hand. They look like they printed them off the Internet. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. And then after. [00:21:43] Speaker A: After this, I remember doing that I remember printing out. Printing off, like game guides. Like the whole guide. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The ultimate of that was when you had a friend who got a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook and then printed you off a copy of it. [00:21:58] Speaker A: There you go. [00:21:59] Speaker B: Having that printed copy of the Anarchist. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Cookbook is a. I also printed pirated RPG books. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:22:05] Speaker A: For the Star wars rpg. And like, I had friends that printed out for Dungeons and Dragons. Especially in college when you had like unlimited paper you could print. [00:22:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:22:14] Speaker A: Because Brit lab. [00:22:15] Speaker B: Because their shits were expensive. [00:22:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:18] Speaker B: And in college he ain't got no money. That's kind of the. The resourcefulness that you have to resort to when you ain't got no money. Yeah. After this Bum bum finds the Spine Spawn Cyclopedia. Then Chibi Spawn is like, oh my God, I love you, little guy. And it's just like squeezing him so hard. He's having like a Lenny from Mice and Men moment. Almost like he loves it so hard he squishes it to death. Only I guess he doesn't die. [00:22:45] Speaker A: He says, I'm still gonna flush it down the crapper. [00:22:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Cuz he's gonna keep Buddy as his new sidekick. So apparently that's the ultimate reveal at the end of Spawn kills everyone too. Is that he gets. He meets Buddy the bat. [00:23:00] Speaker A: Is that true? [00:23:01] Speaker B: I guess. I haven't read. I haven't read it, but I read it either. But he's saying that he thought he flushed all you guys. [00:23:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:08] Speaker B: When I got Buddy. So he must have gotten Buddy at that. Because I've only read the first issue of it. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Okay, I haven't read any of the two. Saving it for our live episodes. [00:23:20] Speaker B: We got to start working on this. [00:23:22] Speaker A: It's going to be April before you know it. [00:23:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Then little tiny Spawn says there isn't a minute of waste. And he's in his regalia. [00:23:31] Speaker A: He's all spawned up. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Time to put my master plan into motion. Haha. And then a little maniacal laugh. It's like, I'm going out, Mom. Throw it up. He refuses breakfast because he's got to keep to a schedule. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Come on, you gotta eat breakfast. [00:23:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Brains is. Brains is there just, you know, wagging his tail like, where we going, dude? Where are we going? [00:23:55] Speaker A: Brains the dog. [00:23:56] Speaker B: Brains the dog. And then his mom's like, okay. Gives him a kiss and says, have fun, my little superheroes. Technically, I'm more of an anti hero. Also. Yuck. So even though even little evil chibispawns think that kisses from their mom are gross because he's a little child. How dare he? [00:24:22] Speaker A: She tells him, no killing. [00:24:24] Speaker B: No killing, he says. He promises he won't kill anyone today. At least not anybody who doesn't deserve it. Look at how angelic he is. I do like that he also has the big right foot. [00:24:38] Speaker A: Yes, he does. He's a little, tiny, big right foot. [00:24:43] Speaker B: Hilarious. Hilarious. I like. And all the. All, like, the pool handles in the kitchen are little spawn skulls. I bet Sketchcraft, like, my imagination of sketchcraft while he was doing this was just like he would just sit there and do a thing and then sit back and then go, hell, yeah. And then go back to it. [00:25:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:09] Speaker B: It had to have been so much fun to have made this. [00:25:12] Speaker A: I can't imagine just to think of all the different things to put in there. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And just like, I can also imagine him, like, waking up at the middle. In the middle of the night going, oh, shit. And then just, like, rushing to it. [00:25:23] Speaker A: And be like, I have an idea. [00:25:26] Speaker B: Like every small little thing. [00:25:29] Speaker A: Chibi Spawn leaves the house and he's, like, leaving the rooftops. Like Krampus or Santa, kind of. [00:25:35] Speaker B: He starts off. He starts off sitting on the weather vane of his house in a classic Spawn pose with the wind blowing his cape a little bit. [00:25:44] Speaker A: I was getting dinner the other night at a bar. I don't think, okay, what the fuck? I don't only go to bars. I just keep mentioning bars today. [00:25:50] Speaker B: Sure, Johnny, sure. [00:25:52] Speaker A: I was at a bar. Same bar that I tried to find AI, but they have food too, so it's. I go there for food. Cleo's. Cleo's in Chicago. Great. It's a great spot. Open late. Kitchen's open late. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Nice. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Great food, cheap beer. It's on Chicago and Damon. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:26:10] Speaker A: Check it out. But I was there and in the background, this is reminding me because he kind of looks like Santa here, like, leaping around. They had Krampus on. That movie's scary. [00:26:19] Speaker B: The one with Adam Scott for the other one. Oh, yeah. Nice. [00:26:23] Speaker A: The, like, zoo, the actual Krampus creature is pretty scary in that. [00:26:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's real good. It's real good. [00:26:30] Speaker A: It is good. And all those little minions are fun, man. Speaking of little minions to cause trouble. [00:26:34] Speaker B: Yeah, true, true. It's. Man, I love this is Krampus season. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Because it's between Halloween and Christmas. [00:26:42] Speaker B: Absolutely. I love. I love the Krampus horror films times. It's always good. It's always good. Ooh, I need to watch rare exports again. That's A good one. That's a great Christmas time spookum. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Okay, there's. Hey, why you watch that new piece of shit red one? [00:27:02] Speaker B: I actually kind of want to see red one. [00:27:04] Speaker A: I kind of want to see Red one too. He has a slap fight with Krampus the Rock, like a knockout fight. And like, Chris Evans is like polar bears, like. Or whatever. [00:27:17] Speaker B: There's a naughty list. [00:27:18] Speaker A: There's a naughty. Listen, bucko. It's like his Scott Pilgrim character in real life, like, coming to life, bucko. [00:27:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I'm probably gonna wait for it to come out on video. I don't know if I'm gonna make a trek to the theaters for it, but I. I want to see that nonsense. Fucking J. Jonah Jameson. Not J. Jonah Jameson. That's not his real name. J.K. simmons as fucking Santa. Fucking. Fucking jacked. J.K. simmons as Santa. Hell yes. Sign me up. Yeah, speaking of. Speaking of Santas, I just saw the John Travolta Saturday Night Fever done in Christmas style advertisement last night for. What was it for? I don't remember what it was for, but it was hilarious. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Isn't it? For Capital One? [00:28:05] Speaker B: It might be. I don't know. I was. I was just taken over by the gloriousness of the fucking. Because, like, he does the pizza scene, but with cookies, and he actually stacks two cookies together and eats them. Fucking. It was beautiful. I loved it. It was great. [00:28:24] Speaker A: I think it's capital one. What's in your wallet? [00:28:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that makes sense because he does. He does do the point at the end. So John Travolta is a crazy man. [00:28:32] Speaker A: But he doesn't ask you a question. What's in your wallet? [00:28:36] Speaker B: I don't. Nothing. Because I'm poor. I take a. My wallet is actually performative. It holds all the junk I don't need. So that way if I lose it, it doesn't matter. So anything of importance has been taken out of it. Yeah. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Mine's got the Costco card and old parking receipt. [00:28:59] Speaker B: Mine has a partially punched buy one beer a month, get a free beer at the end of the year card that a local brewery put out at the beginning of the year of our Lord 2020. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Still in your wallet. [00:29:17] Speaker B: It's still in my wallet. Yeah, because I. Because my wallet is just where the nonsense goes to die. [00:29:23] Speaker A: Okay. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Like, you would pick it up and open it and a little moth would fall off, fly out of it. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Oh. [00:29:30] Speaker B: But yeah, so a little Chibi spawn is flying through the air like Santa Claus. He's got Todd written on the bottom of his big right foot in Toy Story fashion. [00:29:41] Speaker A: Oh, he does. [00:29:42] Speaker B: That's pretty great. And so taking up the. From his promise to his mom about not killing anyone who doesn't deserve it. And he's like, there's a reason this book is called Spawn Kills Every Spawn, which is fun. [00:29:57] Speaker A: And it shows the title and the title treatment. [00:29:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:00] Speaker A: Love it when they do that. [00:30:01] Speaker B: And then Buddy the bat's got the naughty list that he's. He's carrying. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a naughty list? [00:30:10] Speaker B: Yes, Johnny. And we get to see who is first on that list, Johnny. And who's first on that list. [00:30:16] Speaker A: It's fucking gingerbread spawn. [00:30:20] Speaker B: It's gingerbread spawn, man. I bet. I bet he. I bet he has yelled something about his gumdrop buttons and the past. Yeah, not my gumdrop buttons. And. Oh, man. Little Chibi sponge just having so much fun setting this gingerbread house on fire. [00:30:37] Speaker A: Took a bite out of his head, it looks like. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And then there's the Telespawns, which are. [00:30:43] Speaker A: Just a little takeoff on the tail. I used to. Hey, man, even though I was older, I would, like, sometimes watch Teletubbies because, like, it's so surreal. [00:30:51] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I loved Teletubbies when it came out. I think I might have been a little too old for it, but I thought it was fucking great. [00:30:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just. It was a wild show. It's trippy. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It doesn't deserve all the hate it got, but. I mean, no, most. Most children's shows don't, I guess. Except for maybe Caillou or whatever that was that. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Winkies, a gay icon. [00:31:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, absolutely. And Po is a little stinker. [00:31:17] Speaker A: I like Poe. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Yeah, Poe's great. Poe's the. Poe's the chaos agent. He's the minions of the Teletubbies. [00:31:24] Speaker A: I like the new new. The, like, vacuum cleaner. Naughty new new. [00:31:31] Speaker B: I always liked Tubby Custard Time because. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Oh, Tubby custard Time. I like food. It looked good. That shit looked good. [00:31:39] Speaker B: Yeah. It was just like some goop. It was like oatmeal gruel, we would call it. [00:31:43] Speaker A: I bet it's nice and sweet. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, definitely. And if not, you could probably just put a shitload of syrup or sugar on top of it. [00:31:51] Speaker A: That's what I really liked it when I was in Europe, when I was in Wales, actually, In, oh, like, 2007, I. For college, I did a class over there, and they had, like, pudding for dessert with, like, red jelly on top and it was so good. Or custard. I guess it was either custard or pudding, but nice. And I loved how they were just like. They didn't give a fuck. They just serve anything for breakfast. Just like the leftovers for the night before. Beans. [00:32:19] Speaker B: Beans. The full English is. It's kind of like. It's. It's the same amount of food as, like, going to Waffle House, but it's all different components, right? It's like some. Some. Some grilled tomatoes and some blood sausage. Yeah, the beans list. You said beans. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Some bread. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Or. There's a lot of people in Torchwood, which takes place in Wales, every time anybody orders breakfast, they get two eggs, ham and chips. So they eat fries for breakfast. And so that's. That's always exciting, breakfast foods. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Fries for breakfast. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Yeah, fries for breakfast is great. It's. It's hash browns. [00:33:03] Speaker A: I had a burger for breakfast at the airport one time that hit this fucking spot. [00:33:06] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [00:33:08] Speaker A: Jack in the Box burger is good. [00:33:10] Speaker B: Nice, nice. I mean, breakfast foods are good at all times of the day, so it makes sense that other foods would be good at breakfast time. Yeah, I used to eat cold Chinese food for breakfast, and that was my. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Jam burgers, the cornerstone of any American breakfast. As Samuel Jackson says in Pulp Fiction. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Then little Chibi Spawn is flying the spawn copter and just shotgunning kangaroo spawn. No, no actual kangaroos were harmed in the making of this book, Johnny. Yeah, not much anyway. [00:33:48] Speaker A: Not much. I wonder if he can rap like Kangaroo Jack. [00:33:52] Speaker B: I don't know. Perhaps. Well, I mean, he can't now because he's dead. [00:33:56] Speaker A: He can't now because he's dead. Yeah, you're right. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Then we got Mobi. [00:34:01] Speaker A: Oh, David, look, the middle page just came out. [00:34:04] Speaker B: Oh, shit. Hell yeah. An extra half of whatever it is. Yeah, for Johnny's. [00:34:11] Speaker A: My middle page ripped out. Guys, I've been loving this issue too much, man. [00:34:15] Speaker B: It's been a. It's been a minute since that happened. [00:34:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Whoo. [00:34:20] Speaker B: Seal of approval right there. Fucking Moby Spawn. It's just a big whale. [00:34:28] Speaker A: You ever read Moby Dick? [00:34:29] Speaker B: I have not. I have seen bits and pieces of, like, seven different film adaptations, though, because for some reason, every time a new Moby Dick film adaptation came out, my dad would buy it, and so we just had, like, a section of the Moby Dick films. I don't think he ever watched them. He just had. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Had their own movie. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Yes, he just had him. [00:34:55] Speaker A: I tried to read in sixth grade. Didn't get very far. [00:34:58] Speaker B: You got to call Me, Ishmael, and then left off. [00:35:01] Speaker A: No, I got a little bit into it, but it was just like, too much. [00:35:05] Speaker B: I had a friend who got really into it after college and then went so far as to get into Whalecore, which is just. You listen to only albums that have whales on the COVID Okay. So he got really into Mastodon. He got really into Ahab. You know, that kind of stuff. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Okay. I got really. I had a big master and commander phase. I read those books and, like, was obsessed with the movie. I mean, I still love the movie. It's probably. I. When people ask me what my favorite movie is, I either say that or Edgar Wright's the World's End, depending on how I'm feeling. So I did have a master and commander phase, which is like Moby Dick adjacent, I feel. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. A little. [00:35:52] Speaker A: A little seafaring adventure. [00:35:54] Speaker B: A little less problematic at times. [00:35:56] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:35:57] Speaker B: Because it wasn't written by a drunk in the. Whenever he wrote it. The twenties. [00:36:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:02] Speaker B: So he was just like, yeah, these. These non white people don't actually matter. [00:36:07] Speaker A: Right. [00:36:08] Speaker B: I say say living literally right next to the birthplace of said drunk drunkard. [00:36:16] Speaker A: You live next to the birthplace of Herbert Melville. [00:36:19] Speaker B: Oh, shit. I got my. My. I got my. My art. My writers mixed up. No. Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway grew up in Oak Park. [00:36:27] Speaker A: I was like, I don't think. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Sorry, Osu, you can come take my English degree now. Sorry about that. [00:36:34] Speaker A: Do you have one? [00:36:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I double majored in biology and English, Johnny. [00:36:39] Speaker A: I got English minor. [00:36:40] Speaker B: Oh, nice. [00:36:41] Speaker A: BFA in theater. English minor. [00:36:45] Speaker B: Yeah. The English department. [00:36:47] Speaker A: BFA stands for big fucking asshole. [00:36:51] Speaker B: The English department at Oklahoma State fucking rocks. So it was good. It's full of good people and almost all of the professors have dogs, and most of them bring them to class. At one time, there were two different dogs named Bounce. There was a big ass greyhound and a little bitty sealy ham. So you always had to ask if Bounce was in and then specify Big Bounce or Little Bounce. And Little Bounce is my buddy. I loved her. But then we get to spawn Okio, who's hanging out with his very highfalutin, high class friends, a cat that looks like Garfield cosplaying as a minion, and a very erudite wolf in a top hat with a monocle. [00:37:36] Speaker A: David, do you not know your Pinocchio? That is a fox, motherfucker. [00:37:40] Speaker B: What did I say? [00:37:41] Speaker A: You said wolf. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Oh, shit. I meant to say fox. I had the word fox in my head. And it's literally. It's a Fox. How can I get the. [00:37:50] Speaker A: What does the fox say, David? [00:37:51] Speaker B: Fuck. What's the name of the goddamn fox from Fox and the Hound? [00:37:56] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:37:58] Speaker B: All I can think of is, I'm Copper. I'm Hound Dog. Oh. Oh, he's the fox. Says my name's Todd. What's your name? [00:38:06] Speaker A: Todd. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Todd. His name is Todd. [00:38:09] Speaker A: Todd and Copper, the Fox. [00:38:10] Speaker B: And Fox and the Hound is named Todd after Todd McFarland. [00:38:14] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't do that. [00:38:15] Speaker B: The source needed. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Tim Burton worked on that movie. [00:38:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's a. He worked on that and the Black Cauldron. And it's what made him realize that he did not want to work for fucking Walt Disney. [00:38:28] Speaker A: Yep. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Everybody hates Fox and the Hound, but I. Fuck. It's so goddamn sad. And so it's right up my alley. I don't. [00:38:36] Speaker A: I've sure I've seen it, but I don't remember jack shit about it. [00:38:39] Speaker B: It's fucking sad, so it doesn't surprise me. You don't remember anything. It's about. It's about a fox and a hound that grow up together and become friends. And then the owner of Copper's owner is like, okay, we gotta go start killing us some foxes tries to make him. Tries to make Copper kill his friend Todd. And so then Todd has to run away. It's got a nice. It's got a great batty old lady who just adopts a random fox, just like brings it into her home. But anyway, little chippy spawn. [00:39:16] Speaker A: Oko. [00:39:17] Speaker B: Yeah, little chippy spawn pushes a safe out over and smashes this minion Garfield and this top hat wear and fox. And you know, he was aiming. He was aiming for Spinocchio but missed. And I like that Spinocchio's word bubbles. I have a wooden border on. [00:39:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:48] Speaker B: But yeah, so it's a little chibby spawns. Like, I'm nothing personal here, but I'm looking to kill Spinocchio. Have you ever heard of Spinocchio and Spanio's like. [00:40:00] Speaker A: Never. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Nope, never heard of him. [00:40:03] Speaker A: And of course, since it's Pinocchio, his nose starts growing because he's lying. [00:40:06] Speaker B: Yeah. And he lies so much that he ends up poking Chibi spawn in the eye with his long ass nose. And then we turned the page and I love this transition, Johnny. One dead spawn later. [00:40:25] Speaker A: And we're cooking up. And then Pinocchio's just on the fire next to an axe. He's been chopped up into firewood. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Yeah, he's making the s'mores. And then while Chibispawn's trying to figure out who he's gonna kill next. He gets visited by Jiminy Cockroach. Sponocchio's conscious. He's not a. He's not a cricket. Because the Cricket is owned by a company with very good lawyers, Johnny. Yes. [00:40:57] Speaker A: Speaking of Disney. [00:40:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And then, you know, they start talking. Jiminy Cockroach is like. I mean, you know, this is a bad. This is a bad idea, dude. You should probably not kill all the spawns. If you read. [00:41:11] Speaker A: You gotta. Haven't you heard? [00:41:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:14] Speaker A: You want a part of a team now the Scorched. [00:41:16] Speaker B: Yeah. And then he shows them. Classic scorched cover. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Scorch Number two. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Very good. It's very appropriate because it says, who dies next. And so that's a good cover. Yeah. I want a good book. Still is. And so we covered it in the next. Yeah, not issue two, though. We covered issue two way back in. I don't know what episode. [00:41:39] Speaker A: What it was long time ago. And Jiminy Quality far, far away. [00:41:46] Speaker B: Jiminy Cockroach is trying to lessen the total number of spawn deaths by being like, hey, listen, if you want to be the best spawn, you just have to kill the top spawns that are currently there. You don't have to kill all the spawns and little Chibi Spawns. Like, that's a good idea. [00:42:02] Speaker A: Smash steps on Splats him. [00:42:05] Speaker B: He hates cockroaches. Johnny. I like that. I like that, buddy. The bat is carrying the bindle. The classic child running away with a little bindle. [00:42:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:17] Speaker B: So. So with this. With this new knowledge, Chibi Spawn has to change his plans once again. And he's like, well, if they've got a team, we got a. I got to get a team to fight them. So his even more good or perfecter plan gets put into motion. Johnny. [00:42:33] Speaker A: And he sets up at the San Diablo Civic Center. Spawn Force Team auditions. [00:42:39] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. Complete with so many banners and advertisements. When something spawns in the other. I like this one that says, when something spawns in the underworld, who are you going to call? [00:42:52] Speaker A: Spawn Force. [00:42:53] Speaker B: Yeah, Spawn Force. Of course. And so then once again, we see Chibispawn sitting at a desk with nobody in front of him. And he says, ah, this sucks again. The tumbleweed that blows through. [00:43:08] Speaker A: Yeah. And then someone slinks up. It's like Batman Spawn. [00:43:13] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:43:14] Speaker A: Is that what he's supposed to be? [00:43:15] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's what it looks like to me. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Because he looks a lot like Todd McFarlane's Batman that famous cover. [00:43:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. With the cave. Yeah. Where he's holding Catwoman. [00:43:27] Speaker A: I think it's just a woman. [00:43:29] Speaker B: Just a woman. [00:43:30] Speaker A: Just. Just a woman. [00:43:31] Speaker B: David, More than a woman. More than a woman to me is. [00:43:42] Speaker A: Going to ask you if you're playing music again. [00:43:43] Speaker B: I was hoping so, but it didn't. [00:43:46] Speaker A: The AI if we sing too much, it asks us if we're playing music on Zoom. [00:43:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Which means my singing is getting better. So thanks for sticking with me. [00:43:54] Speaker A: They consider it music? No, But Batman Spawn slinks up to Spawn's table. Here, to Chibi Spawn's table. And it's just like, yo. [00:44:04] Speaker B: He's like, you got any applications? You got enough applications for all of us? [00:44:08] Speaker A: And he goes, all of us? [00:44:10] Speaker B: And then we. [00:44:11] Speaker A: And then there is a two page spread of Easter eggs. [00:44:15] Speaker B: Oh, boy. This is fucking great. The 10 pound gorilla in the room. Johnny, is not actually a gorilla. It's Godzilla Spawn. [00:44:23] Speaker A: It's Godzilla Spawn. I actually. I was. Oh, my God. God damn it. I was at that same bar last night. [00:44:33] Speaker B: Listeners. Johnny actually lives at this bar. [00:44:36] Speaker A: No, I just. It's just right by my house. And like. [00:44:39] Speaker B: I don't know, there's one. There's a bar stool that's just like perfectly molded to Johnny's butt. [00:44:44] Speaker A: They've got a great. They've got a great grilled chicken sandwich. Comes with tots. It's excellent. Cleo's in Chicago. No, I was reading this for today at the bar last night because I was waiting on Brand to show up and they were like, what are you reading? I showed it to them, they flipped through it and they loved this page. Just going through and finding all the. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Little Easter eggs I like. My favorites are Spawn, Calvin and Hobbes. [00:45:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Spawn, Garfield and Odie. Spawn, Shrek and Donkey. Yeah, I like Spawn, Shrek, Spawn, Taz and Bugs Bunny. [00:45:25] Speaker A: There's too many to mention. [00:45:27] Speaker B: Oh, but my absolute favorite is Spac. Ack. [00:45:35] Speaker A: The Spawn Mars Attacks. Right Next to Spawn, C3PO and Felix the Cat. [00:45:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And the robot from Lost in Space, whatever his name was. Yeah. It's so good, Robbie. [00:45:50] Speaker A: I don't know. Was it Robbie? No, it was just robot. I think. [00:45:53] Speaker B: It might have been. I don't. I don't remember. [00:45:55] Speaker A: I think it was just robot. [00:45:56] Speaker B: It might have been. It's been a long time since I've seen Lost in Space. [00:46:01] Speaker A: Felix the Cat. You ever watched the 80s Felix the Cat movie? [00:46:04] Speaker B: No, I didn't. No, I haven't. Is it good? [00:46:06] Speaker A: It's really weird. It goes to, like, a Masters of the Universe type land. And there's, like, a weird adventure. It's like trying to be, like a lot of 80s popular things at once. [00:46:14] Speaker B: Huh. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Might be worth checking out, though. [00:46:16] Speaker B: Okay. [00:46:17] Speaker A: It's that weird. [00:46:18] Speaker B: Well, I mean, it also is an Easter egg within an Easter egg because, as we know, Todd McFarlane puts a Felix the Cat in every book he draws because he once talked to a fan who was a veteran and was just fucking loved Felix the Cat. And he's like, I only read things with Felix the Cat in them. So Tom McFarlane was like, I got you. Technically, there's a Felix. Whatever. [00:46:41] Speaker A: He still keeps that up. Well, I guess he doesn't do interiors, so. [00:46:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. [00:46:47] Speaker A: But yeah, there's so many fun. There's a Smiley Little Pony spawn, a Brony spawn. [00:46:52] Speaker B: There's a Sonic spawn. There's the. Oh, there's a Waldo. [00:46:57] Speaker A: And that's what it kind of feels like is the Where's Waldo? Page. [00:46:59] Speaker B: Yeah, man, I love Where's Waldo. [00:47:02] Speaker A: Yeah, Where's Waldo was cool. I had all those books. I had the yellow one, the red one, the blue one. [00:47:07] Speaker B: We only had the red and the blue one. So whenever I came across the yellow one, it was like the missing text. Yes, I like that. There's a IG88. [00:47:23] Speaker A: And Mandalorian spawn and Grogu Spawn. Alien and Predator Spawn. [00:47:27] Speaker B: Alien, Predator, blue suit, Superman spawn. Darth. [00:47:31] Speaker A: So Many spawns. [00:47:33] Speaker B: An R2D2 spawn. A Mickey and Goofy spawn. A Spyro the Dragon spawn. A Puss in Boots spawn. I didn't see Puss in Boots the first time. Dang. [00:47:43] Speaker A: Spawn, Bandicoot. [00:47:44] Speaker B: There's a Wally spawn. There's the Simpsons, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. [00:47:53] Speaker A: I think we've listed them all. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah. There's the Carrie Kelly Robin spawn. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Oh, that's who that is. Okay, very good. [00:48:03] Speaker B: I don't know who this. I don't know who this one with the mohawk is in the background. I'm assuming it's a Sonic the Hedgehog character. [00:48:09] Speaker A: Yeah, but she's, like, too tall to be a Sonic character. But it kind of looks like a Sonic character. [00:48:13] Speaker B: Unless she's from Crash Bandicoot or some other PlayStation game, since there's Crash Bandicoot next to Spyro might be. I don't know. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Our pop culture has failed us. Our knowledge. [00:48:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, no, that's. The Stormtroopers are pretty dope. Oh, and then there's this little guy. There's this little guy on the front. I don't know who that's supposed to be, but he's got a guitar and he's got puppets next to him. [00:48:40] Speaker A: Where? [00:48:41] Speaker B: On the. On the table at the front. Yeah, on the table next to Chibis. Fun. [00:48:46] Speaker A: Oh, it's like. It's like a bobblehead or something. [00:48:48] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a couple of puppets next to him too. I don't know what that is. [00:48:53] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:48:54] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:48:56] Speaker A: Yeah, that's all page spread. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Yeah, it's great. And then. And then little chubby spawns like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is amazing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, all of you. And then who am I gonna pick? Who am I gonna pick? And then, Johnny, the issue ends on a bonk. [00:49:16] Speaker A: It ends on a bonk. Bonk. It ends up with the Spawn swimsuit model. [00:49:22] Speaker B: Supermodel sisters from base. Spawn baseball. [00:49:26] Speaker A: And they have to stand in that order. It won't read right. [00:49:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And little chibispawn is like, oh, yeah, this is going to be good. Or this is going to work out just fine. Yes. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:39] Speaker B: Hilarious. [00:49:39] Speaker A: He's horny for these Spawn supermodels. [00:49:45] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. And then. But like the Spawn. The Spawn surfboard is pretty great. Then we get the skull to end the issue, Johnny. After that bonk. [00:49:58] Speaker A: Yep. [00:49:59] Speaker B: And we get that. Add new generation, new stories, new you. The spin offs. [00:50:05] Speaker A: Add for the spin offs. Yes. [00:50:07] Speaker B: With that great salmon Twitch cover that's got the cat on it. Mark Bruce, The Spawn origin collections advertisement. The Image classics advertisement. [00:50:18] Speaker A: Then my favorite Diablo 4 toys. [00:50:22] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:50:23] Speaker A: Taunting me, trying to get me to buy them. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Yes. Once again, that Todd father's trying to get your $17. Is that usually what they go for? [00:50:32] Speaker A: They were on sale for like 17 on Amazon. Yeah, that's when I almost bought them. I think they're like retail like 30. But they were on sale quite a bit. [00:50:40] Speaker B: They look like good figures. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I love Diablo 4. So I don't know. The new season I haven't is hot on. They change a lot of stuff and it's just like kind of more of a grind. Or maybe I've just like finally done all I can do with it. I don't know. [00:50:55] Speaker B: Everything in moderation, Johnny. Even Diablo 4. [00:50:59] Speaker A: Hey, ain't that the truth? All right, so next up, we got scorched 33. [00:51:12] Speaker B: Hell yeah, we do. [00:51:13] Speaker A: And we start with the covers, of course. And I've got the A cover. [00:51:17] Speaker B: I also have the A cover, Johnny. [00:51:19] Speaker A: So Donaghulio. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:51:21] Speaker A: And Jessica. [00:51:23] Speaker B: That's About. There's a very good reason we both have the A cover and it's because. [00:51:27] Speaker A: We love the Jessica Priest. [00:51:29] Speaker B: Fucking Jessica Priest. She's swinging a chain and a lance and a sword at you, Johnny. Oh, boy. This. If this were the last thing I ever saw, I don't know whether I would be more frightened or more in awe of the majesty that is Jessica Priest. [00:51:50] Speaker A: She's kind of scary. [00:51:52] Speaker B: It would be. It would be a way to go if I have. If I have to be killed in battle. Please. To be cut down by Jessica Priest. It would be an honor. [00:52:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah. This is a cover. She's looking like a little evil. A little. [00:52:08] Speaker B: She's. If I may, Johnny, she's looking fierce. She's looking fierce and her hair is just. It's a mane and her. She's got like kind of angry eyes, but she's got the biggest fucking grin going on. So it's. [00:52:29] Speaker A: This is that earlier Jessica Priest in the early comics where she would get. She would kind of get off on killing. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She is. She is having fun doing what she's doing, Johnny, and she's very good at it. Yeah, yeah, the B cover. The B cover is also very good. It is a Von Randall cover. And as we know, Von Randall does a good cover and it is a. [00:52:52] Speaker A: Resident evil with his sword raised high. [00:52:54] Speaker B: Yeah, he is. He is. He looks like he is playing baseball, Johnny. He is at the plate. He's waiting for something to come in good. He's probably. He'll probably take that first piss pitch fast. He'd probably take that first pitch fastball just to, you know, gauge where that pitch hair is at. Yeah, he's about to pull a Freddie Freeman and do the first walk off grand slam in baseball history. That's what he's doing. [00:53:23] Speaker A: That's what he looks like. Yeah, yeah. I want the Jessica cover, obviously, but. [00:53:29] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's. It's a great cover. B. [00:53:33] Speaker A: If you medieval. [00:53:35] Speaker B: If you have recently, if you were a part of the Kickstarter for the medieval action figure, you should probably go out and get this Von Randall cover for Scorch 33 to have as part of your collection because it's a real good piece of medieval spawn. We popped this sucker open, Johnny. And we got the credits. We got script plot by John Lehman with additional script by Todd McFarland. So got another double John Layman episode this week. [00:54:07] Speaker A: That's right. Double layman. [00:54:08] Speaker B: Yeah. We got a new artist art. We're getting laid, man. [00:54:13] Speaker A: We Laid man. [00:54:15] Speaker B: We got a new artist this outing. We got art by Dudu Panzica. [00:54:20] Speaker A: Got really great art. [00:54:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's fantastic. I'm excited to see more of this. I like this. Their first outing is. [00:54:34] Speaker A: A side story. [00:54:35] Speaker B: Yeah. In a previous issue, they said that that was a tale for another day. Today's that day, Johnny. [00:54:42] Speaker A: Today's that day. [00:54:44] Speaker B: We got colors by Danae ribeiro, lettering by andworld design. We covered the covers. Todd McFarlane is the creative director, and the editor in chief is Mr. Thomas Healy. And then. Previously in the Scorched. Jessica leaves the battle with her old team gravely injured, having failed her mission. But her sacrifices have gained her Jason Wynn's trust. Well, at least. At least his intangible trust. Not his. His family trust. He. She ain't getting any more money out of that guy. [00:55:18] Speaker A: Nope. [00:55:19] Speaker B: Jason Wentz. Jason. When? Seems kind of like he might be miserly a little bit. Maybe not Scrooge McDuck levels of miser, but I bet you don't. He doesn't offered to buy you coffee. And at any point, he's spending money. [00:55:39] Speaker A: On all those cloves, cigarettes and scorpions. [00:55:41] Speaker B: And bowls and his. His. His cigars. [00:55:44] Speaker A: His cigars. Come on. So the tale for another day, as you said, is today. [00:55:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:55:49] Speaker A: Not like Maz Kanata, who never tells the tale. [00:55:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:53] Speaker A: When she asked her where to get the lightsaber and she goes. That's a good question. For another time. [00:55:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:55:58] Speaker A: They never answer that question, David. [00:56:00] Speaker B: She gets. She gets distracted by wookie, Johnny. [00:56:03] Speaker A: I guess so. She's got distracted. [00:56:06] Speaker B: It occurs to me that she's. Her eyes are right about butt level with Chewbacca, so she's just looking at his ass. She's just. She's just like. We know why. We know why. She likes that wookie. [00:56:18] Speaker A: I love that wookie. [00:56:20] Speaker B: Buns of steel. That guy's gotta have some Han Solo. [00:56:24] Speaker A: Where's my boyfriend? So we open up on. [00:56:30] Speaker B: It's. It's the agency's. [00:56:32] Speaker A: My new girlfriend. [00:56:34] Speaker B: Your new girlfriend? Yeah. [00:56:35] Speaker A: This haunt. [00:56:37] Speaker B: She's female. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Haunt. [00:56:40] Speaker B: Female. [00:56:40] Speaker A: She's her human form. She's a fucking smoke show. [00:56:44] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:56:44] Speaker A: I got a bonk. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Johnny, It's. It's infectious. We got. We got the. The bonk earlier. It's just gonna keep going. Bonks all the way down. Yeah, but. So it's. It's that holding room that the scorched were but busted out of. And all the doctors and scientists are standing around this cryo tube with the female haunt in it, and they're like this dead. This dead lady here. We should. We should start cutting her up. We've waited long enough. Let's see what's. What made her tick. So they take her to do a. [00:57:21] Speaker A: Like you do when you're a government agency. Just cut something up if you don't understand it. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Yeah, they're doing a autopsy here. Although I guess technically would probably be a necropsy instead of an autopsy. Just. But whatever. That's. That's pedantry. [00:57:36] Speaker A: Is that the difference? [00:57:39] Speaker B: There's. There's like a very specific difference between autopsy and necropsy, and it's the reason you do it. But I think this would probably be more technically a necropsy. [00:57:50] Speaker A: Okay. [00:57:51] Speaker B: And it's also we. I can see the word necropsy, which is awesome because. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Sounds like a good horror movie title. [00:57:57] Speaker B: Anything that you can shoehorn necro into is awesome. [00:58:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:02] Speaker B: Like a necropolis. How do you not want a vacation at the necropolis? That would be fucking awesome. [00:58:10] Speaker A: You ever heard that song by Manila Road? No. [00:58:13] Speaker B: Oh, well, there's. There's a song by an old new wave of British heavy metal bands called necropolis from the 80s. [00:58:22] Speaker A: Oh, okay. No. Okay, so it's not the name of a song. The name of the song is City the Living Dead. But they say in this Necropolis, it's My Sub Vision, which was Tobias Forge's first band. [00:58:32] Speaker B: I. I think I've. I think I might have heard that once, but I. [00:58:36] Speaker A: They have one album. It's like decent. It's like. [00:58:39] Speaker B: It's. It's. [00:58:40] Speaker A: It's like Proto Ghosts. It's like. You can tell. It's like a trial. It goes. [00:58:44] Speaker B: Yeah, it's ghosts with less. Less of the satanic overtones. [00:58:49] Speaker A: Well, just less like polish. I mean, he was young, he was learning. Like, it's just like. It's just a little sloppier and. Not sloppier. I don't know, it's just like. It's not as polished. Yeah, it's an early album. [00:59:02] Speaker B: It's got. It's got some. Some sparkling bits in it. But overall it's just kind of like. [00:59:07] Speaker A: You know, he was some early ghost traits. It has like. He's obsessed with puns. He's obsessed with, like, goth things. But the puns are big. Ghost likes their puns. [00:59:18] Speaker B: They do. And it's a. Oh, man. But yes, we are in this room and the scientists have this female haunt just like flayed open and they're poking around. They're taking out all the organs that they Find. [00:59:34] Speaker A: It's like a movie. American Guinea Pig or Guinea Pig. You ever heard of that? [00:59:38] Speaker B: Oh, no, I haven't. No. What? [00:59:40] Speaker A: It's just. It's just a torture. It was a Japanese movie called Guinea Pig, and it's just like a movie where they cut up a body, cut up a living person. Like a vivisection kind of. That's basically all that happens. Charlie Sheen saw it in the 80s, thought it was real and called, like, the Cops, but they remade. There's a remake called American Guinea Pig, but I have. I've never seen it. [01:00:01] Speaker B: I have seen that. Stan Brage silent film. The art of seeing with. Or the act of seeing with one's own eyes, where he actually goes to the New York City morgue and films actual autopsies happening. [01:00:15] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [01:00:15] Speaker B: Just like, people doing their everyday work, carrying, like, fucking body parts. [01:00:22] Speaker A: Damn. [01:00:24] Speaker B: It's intense. It's intense. Sounds like it, but it's. It's a very good film. It makes you feel things. If you watch that movie or that film and don't feel things, please, please reach out to somebody. You should feel things. You should feel things. Yes, but while they're digging around in this. In this body, we see that the eyes start to light up a little bit. There's a little bit of life in them. And we learned that for this haunt, the only thing it saw was death. You know, it's just consumed with death. It is. It is like the Klingon ships in Discovery, the ship of the dead, where in order to intimidate potential. Potential enemies, they just slap their dead on the front of the. On the front of the ship. So the ship is just completely covered with dead bodies. That's. She would. Female haunt would make. No, she has no honor. She wouldn't be a good Klingon. She would be a vicious Klingon, but no honor. [01:01:33] Speaker A: No honor. [01:01:34] Speaker B: So we see the story of female haunt. [01:01:37] Speaker A: She started off as Sophia Swain. [01:01:39] Speaker B: Swain. And she is a nurse. And she smokin' yeah. And she is. [01:01:46] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [01:01:47] Speaker B: Not fucking around. No, Johnny, it's true. She's fucking hot. Look at it. [01:01:54] Speaker A: I always say my type is a mean brunette. And she's definitely mean. [01:01:58] Speaker B: She's the meanest brunette we have come across in a while. So she, you know, she's a nurse. She takes care of people. But sometimes she thinks that there are. [01:02:12] Speaker A: Some people, maybe the people are bad. [01:02:13] Speaker B: That don't deserve to be taken care of. So we see her first enter the room of this man who is just severely Beaten up. And she's like, it looks like you're a hitman for the mob. Well, guess what? I'm gonna. [01:02:29] Speaker A: I'm gonna make the world a little poison. [01:02:31] Speaker B: She said, I'm gonna make the world a better place and get rid of you. So we learned that the first time was the hardest for her, Johnny. But it got easier. That's. That's a. That's a scary thought. Of course it's going to be hard to kill somebody, but it should. It shouldn't get easier. That's also a problem. [01:02:50] Speaker A: She kills a guy who sold laced drugs. She killed a guy that worked. Or a lady that worked at Big Pharma. [01:02:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:57] Speaker A: That they've marketed a cancer drug they knew didn't work. [01:03:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:01] Speaker A: Dirty Copy, Dirty cop. [01:03:04] Speaker B: And it's the dirty cop that gets her, Johnny. So while the. While the dirty cop is dying in the mouth, drooling blood and got blood coming out of his eyes, he gets up out of the bed and he attacks her. And so she has to. She has to stab him in the neck and give him some more poison to get him to go. And we learned that she's killed and goes. [01:03:30] Speaker A: He does. He gives up the ghost, David. [01:03:31] Speaker B: Yeah, he does. He gives up. He does give up. A ghost that haunts her. [01:03:38] Speaker A: Doo, doo, doo. [01:03:41] Speaker B: But so we learned that she's killed. [01:03:43] Speaker A: Did you listen to that Orgo Borgo song I sent you? [01:03:45] Speaker B: Not yet. Not yet. No. Yeah, I need to. [01:03:47] Speaker A: This thing about giving up the ghost. [01:03:49] Speaker B: But ghosts. We're giving ghosts. It's giving ghosts, Johnny. On this night of ritual, we learned that Sophia Swain has killed two dozen people since this. This guy, this dirty cop was her latest victim. Obviously, even though it's a dirty cop, they're gonna have some extra cops doing guard duty on a cop in the hospital. [01:04:13] Speaker A: And who is it but Sam and Twitch? Looking badass. [01:04:16] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks like. It looks like Sam is leading them in with his gut. It's so great. [01:04:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And they bust in. They say, show me your goddamn hands. [01:04:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And they've been looking for this angel of justice killer for months. [01:04:34] Speaker A: And then the unexpected happened. The ghost swallowed its human host. [01:04:39] Speaker B: Yeah, the ghost host. And she starts, like, spewing haunt goop from. [01:04:48] Speaker A: Yeah, just from her eyes, like, everywhere. [01:04:50] Speaker B: From her nose and stuff. And she's just like. And Sam and Twitch look horrified. And Twitch is just like, do I shoot it? The first time I read this, I was wondering if that should have been something Sam said, because it seems more like something Sam would say, but rereading it. Like the fact that Twitch asks Sam. That Twitch is asking Sam for guidance. Everything just shows how fucking outside of their wheelhouse this is. So Twitch is spooked because we learn later that they haven't fallen into Spawn's world yet. [01:05:32] Speaker A: Right? This is early on. This is like, so. [01:05:35] Speaker B: So, yeah, it changed the reading. Like, the experience changed from reading it the second time. That Twitch is so freaked out. And I was like, oh, holy shit. Holy shit. Nothing gets. He doesn't Twitch, Johnny. But he is scared for his life. [01:05:52] Speaker A: Because we see in its full glory, the female haunt. [01:05:55] Speaker B: She's just, like, posing, and she's just like. [01:05:59] Speaker A: So they start shooting. [01:06:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:01] Speaker A: And she jumps out the window. [01:06:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Even two direct hits to its back don't slow this version down, Johnny. She jumps out the window and runs away and leaves just, like, a trail of blood for that anyone can follow. And we're. Now we start bouncing back to the autopsy where the guy's just still looking around. He's like, I don't see anything human in this body anymore. Let's keep looking to see what we find. And then we flash back to when she was released that, you know, she's loosed on the world. And she starts trying to continue with this. Killing bad people. Because killing bad people made her feel so good. And then she learned later it wasn't the killing bad people that made her feel good. It was just. [01:06:50] Speaker A: Just the killing. [01:06:51] Speaker B: The killing simply thrived on any slaughter, Johnny. So, yeah, so once she makes that realization, we see her pinning it. Looks like a family or maybe just three random people. But there's a lady, a guy and a child. And she's just got them pinned in the alley. And she's going for him. [01:07:13] Speaker A: She's gonna kill him. [01:07:15] Speaker B: She does kill him, actually. Oh, she's just ripping him to shreds. There's just nothing left but blood splatter. And then Spawn comes up. [01:07:24] Speaker A: Child death. More child death. [01:07:27] Speaker B: We know Spawn doesn't like that. [01:07:29] Speaker A: Nope. [01:07:29] Speaker B: He says, back away and face me. And it's. [01:07:32] Speaker A: This is great. It's like classic Spawn. [01:07:34] Speaker B: Classic Spawn. And he's got his glory. He's got the. [01:07:37] Speaker A: He's got his, like, the green glowing. Like, it's just, like, really classic. It's great. [01:07:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I like. I like very specifically. Small right foot right there. That's our introduction to Spawn in this issue. [01:07:48] Speaker A: Yeah. He ain't got the boot yet. [01:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And he says, I'm getting tired of us humans having to deal with fuckers like you. He's just Seething with rage, man. He said, this is. This is. This is angry, but doesn't know what's going on and confused. Al Simmons. It's good. [01:08:04] Speaker A: Yeah, it's real good. It was really cool. Just like flashback to this early time. I was like, hell, yeah. I remember when I first read this. It's Brawl in Rat City. [01:08:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Spawns, you know, got questions going on. And it's like, how can I defeat this? Are there more like this? What the shit? But they. They both sense in each other. They're the power that both of them has. And so they're like, well, fuck. Oops, we got. I got to. I got to actually. I got to actually do this thing. And so they. They fight savagely. [01:08:40] Speaker A: People might think this is like a continuity error. Like, this is like 20 years ago. But like, I remember at Spawn Con, Thomas Healy said, from, like now on, they're kind of saying that Spawn had been spawned for like six or seven years. [01:08:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:52] Speaker A: So this is like six or seven years ago from the current action. [01:08:55] Speaker B: Nice. [01:08:56] Speaker A: Not 20. Even though it's not 30. Fuck 30. [01:09:01] Speaker B: It's not savage Dragon where the. The action in the comic book continues in real time. [01:09:07] Speaker A: Oh, does it? [01:09:08] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the thing about Savage Dragon. Is he old now? Yeah, he's old. Actually, I don't know if he's old now because he's a dragon. A dragon man. Like truck door. [01:09:20] Speaker A: But his friends might be old. [01:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah. But that was the whole conceit. That's what Eric Larson wanted to do with his creator owned comic book. He wanted a character that lived in real time. And maybe that's why he was right. Maybe that's what the spawn kills everyone. Spawn 2 poster was about. [01:09:37] Speaker A: Eric Larson was right. [01:09:40] Speaker B: And then. And then Spawn. Spawn just has to. Just has to. Just has to win. He's like, I just gotta take out all the stops. And so he necroblasts her. [01:09:53] Speaker A: There's a big thoon. [01:09:54] Speaker B: Yeah. And she's like partially disintegrated in this. [01:09:59] Speaker A: Crispy fried. [01:10:00] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Spawn kind of limps away from the. From this, having expended some energy. And we get the. The classic, classic Necrometer. It's so good. It just. I love that they put that in there with it just popping up randomly like it used to. [01:10:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:10:18] Speaker B: So good. [01:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah, that was. That's a fun little diversion into the past. I really enjoyed that part of the comic. [01:10:24] Speaker B: Yeah. And it really showcases a lot of the stuff that I like about Dudu Panzica's art. It's yeah. It fits this so well. It's creepy and it's got that grittiness, but the clarity of motion that we talked about with the new artist on Kingspawn. Man, they're finding great new artists for these books, Johnny. [01:10:49] Speaker A: They are, yeah. [01:10:51] Speaker B: And then we see the aftermath of this fight. The police come. They. They've got this haunt body. Same and twitch are there. They're like, this is our body. And then the agency shows up and is like, no, nope, this is our body. [01:11:05] Speaker A: They take it back and Jason wins just like, oh. Whenever he takes control of it, he's like, okay, maybe we could use this thing they've been keeping in storage. [01:11:12] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make a weapon out of this. Like he does. [01:11:16] Speaker A: And so we cut back to the autopsy or Necrotopsy. [01:11:19] Speaker B: I like that he's just standing in front of it. Necropsy. [01:11:22] Speaker A: Yeah, necropsy. [01:11:23] Speaker B: He's just standing in front of it with a cigarette and a smile, just like. Yeah. [01:11:28] Speaker A: I can make something evil out of this, but yeah. [01:11:30] Speaker B: Yeah. So the doctor. The doctors are there. They're. They're like taking the heart away for further examination. And it starts beating on this tray and they're like, what the fuck? And then female haunt just, like, stands up from the table, from the slab. [01:11:46] Speaker A: And just jumps to this doctor and gouges his eyes out. [01:11:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And then shoots some hot spears out and kills all the rest of the doctors. [01:11:57] Speaker A: Here's the Todd, Father. It took nearly 40 minutes for Wynn's. [01:12:01] Speaker B: Troops to neutralize it, and it's over. Jesus Christ. That is a terrifying visage, Johnny. [01:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:12:08] Speaker B: Like. [01:12:09] Speaker A: No, this haunt seems much more like, feral than. Yeah, I guess, because she is a killer. [01:12:15] Speaker B: You know, it takes on somebody. Yeah. Of whoever is hosting the haunt. [01:12:22] Speaker A: Kilvers Priest. [01:12:27] Speaker B: But I like how, you know, it's got the. The continuation of sort of this. The top half of the mouth is haunti. Whatever it is, and the bottom half is the human chin. But, like, the teeth on this one are just like fucking. It's like looking in a wild beast's mouth. They're just everywhere. So, yeah, it's great, great art. And then, you know, the agency just like, throws, throws, throws guys at it until they can subdue it. A dozen. A dozen men are lost. And we learned that there's like, a fallout between the top brass of the agency and the actual foot shoulders of the agency from this. That still exists to this day. Just like the wanton disregard for human life is just not something that these shadowy government agency drones can deal with. And boy, man. Yeah. So they finally do subdue it. [01:13:36] Speaker A: And she's back in the cryo tube. [01:13:37] Speaker B: The back to tank and Johnny, once again, the beginning is the end. We end at the beginning in the same way where she's back in the tank, but this time she's awake and seething and just the menace of her. So, like, the first. The first time we see them, everybody's just kind of like, eh, this, eh, this thing. But now it's like, oh, my God. This. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [01:14:05] Speaker A: And when she saw the other haunt, and that's her new purpose is to gain his power. [01:14:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Every ounce of that target's power. Johnny. And then scorched skull to an issue. Yeah, I like this. I like this scientist doctor in the background who on the first page is like, yes, this thing. And on the last page it's like, oh, his eyes are so wide open. He's like, ah. He's like, what did I get into? [01:14:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:14:31] Speaker B: So good. We get. [01:14:34] Speaker A: We get a spawning round the SDCC 2024 Spotlight San Diego Comic Con. [01:14:40] Speaker B: We get. We get. One of my favorite. My favorite tropes of pictures is a picture of somebody taking a picture. [01:14:48] Speaker A: Great picture. [01:14:48] Speaker B: That will be used for other things. I love it. We get Thomas Healy himself. [01:14:54] Speaker A: Yes. [01:14:55] Speaker B: Hanging out. [01:14:56] Speaker A: Past and future guest Thomas Healy. [01:14:58] Speaker B: Jonathan Glapie in signing the line on that is pretty tremendous. [01:15:03] Speaker A: When I got Jonathan, When I bought you that. Remember when I got you that no Home Here poster at spawncon? [01:15:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:07] Speaker A: When I bought that from him, it was so funny because we were talking wallets earlier. I have one of those Ridge wallets. And I, like, fumbled. I was like, couldn't get my card out. And he was, like, looking at me. He's like, are those wallets any good? And I was like. Because I was, like, fumbling with it. I was like, oh, yeah, they're great. But I couldn't get my card out. So I probably ruined the Ridge wallet for Jonathan Glapian. [01:15:29] Speaker B: But you definitely did not ruin the. I don't have it next to me. I got to find a place to hang it that I won't get yelled at for hanging it. But I don't want to take it to work because nobody at work is going to care. [01:15:43] Speaker A: Right. [01:15:43] Speaker B: It's not going to do me any good. But it's. It's a great poster. Thank you. Thank you again for that. I was not expecting it. It is great. [01:15:53] Speaker A: I had to eat something since you couldn't be there. [01:15:55] Speaker B: You could. You could have brought me some Red Robin. No. Ruby Tuesday. [01:15:59] Speaker A: Ruby Tuesday. [01:16:00] Speaker B: Ruby Tuesday. You could have got. [01:16:01] Speaker A: It's been a year since Spawn Con. [01:16:02] Speaker B: You could have brought me a hamburger for breakfast. [01:16:05] Speaker A: Mmm. [01:16:06] Speaker B: I'll gladly pay you on Monday for a hamburger today. Fries don't travel very well. [01:16:12] Speaker A: No, no. [01:16:13] Speaker B: It's. It's a weird thing that when you think of fast food, you think of burgers, but really, burgers don't travel very well at all. It's a weird disconnect. [01:16:24] Speaker A: Only travels well is pizza. [01:16:27] Speaker B: Pizza travels real well. Eat at the place, it's gonna be better. [01:16:30] Speaker A: Eat there, it's better. [01:16:32] Speaker B: We got the production team hanging out in front of just the wall of merch with the shirts that I wanted, but I didn't know anybody who could have gotten them for me. There they are. Yeah. So sad. And then also another guest. Two guests from this podcast on this page. Johnny. [01:16:56] Speaker A: That's right. [01:16:56] Speaker B: Erica Schultz posing with some of her fans. It's real good. It's good shit. [01:17:01] Speaker A: Yep. Next to a picture of the deviant. [01:17:03] Speaker B: Uh huh. [01:17:05] Speaker A: Pretty cool. [01:17:06] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [01:17:07] Speaker A: Looks like it was a good time. [01:17:09] Speaker B: It sure does. Surely does. Do you need more Spawns universe, Johnny. [01:17:13] Speaker A: You know it, I know it, they know it, everyone knows it. [01:17:16] Speaker B: Don't miss these ongoing titles. [01:17:19] Speaker A: Got the ad for the Core four. [01:17:21] Speaker B: Yeah. We've got that great King Spawn cover where he's just sitting on the throne. I don't know if we've covered that one. We might not have covered that one. [01:17:27] Speaker A: But I can't remember. [01:17:29] Speaker B: It's a. It's a dope cover. [01:17:30] Speaker A: It all blurs together. David. [01:17:31] Speaker B: It's. Oh, man, it's so good. But it's just so much to keep track of. [01:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:17:39] Speaker B: Got that Witchblade ad again. And then Pacific Rim is the toy ad. [01:17:47] Speaker A: Pacific Rim theme for you? [01:17:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I like very much that the image of the comic book that it says comic included. Like, if you look at the edge, it totally looks like somebody's opened or at least kept this. This comic in a bag because it's got a little bit of wear and tear on it. I think that's a great touch. I don't know if that was intentional or if that was just the one photo that they had of a comic of this comic that they could put in here. But it's definitely like a. This comic has been handled. And that's. I love texture, Johnny. I love texture. [01:18:18] Speaker A: You gotta have the texture. Sweet. Yeah. That's scorch 33. [01:18:21] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. I Had to go hunt for a puppy that we weren't quite sure where it was, and it's a little scaredy. So we had to make sure it was in a place that it was allowed to be. So I'll rate that puppy. A little bit naughty. It's a little bit of a naughty puppy. But these puppies, we gotta rate these together. [01:18:40] Speaker A: Johnny, it's time to rate the puppies. First up, today we had Spawn Kills. Every spawn. Number two. [01:18:50] Speaker B: Yes. [01:18:51] Speaker A: And although it has bum bums, it is not number two. It's number. Whatever a good number is. [01:18:59] Speaker B: It is. It is. [01:19:00] Speaker A: You could say number one, but then that sounds like. If I'm talking like piss. [01:19:03] Speaker B: Yeah, but you don't want to go. You don't want to go further down. It is number two of five, Johnny. [01:19:09] Speaker A: It is number two of five. That's what it is. But yeah. Continuing the story of Chibi Spawn. Just the fun antics and Easter eggs. He starts killing some funny spawns. Teletubby Spawns. The arch, just so energetic and just goes for it. It's a great, fun book. I'm gonna Give this issue 4, My Little Pony spawns. [01:19:32] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [01:19:33] Speaker A: And I gave it the extra. I gave it an extra half. I was gonna give it 3.5. I gave it 4. So there you go. Because I ripped a page out. [01:19:39] Speaker B: Nice. [01:19:39] Speaker A: Because if you haven't been listening for the whole time, at one point, I used to lose middle pages a lot. [01:19:46] Speaker B: Specifically from those early king spawns that. [01:19:49] Speaker A: Yeah, because I read those a lot. [01:19:50] Speaker B: That got Johnny into spawn real big. Right. [01:19:54] Speaker A: So then I would have to rate an issue higher if the middle page fell out. And since my middle page fell out on this, I'm going to bump it up to a four, so. [01:20:00] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [01:20:02] Speaker A: It's fun. Like, I like Swan Kills Every spawn. He's light. It's breezy. [01:20:08] Speaker B: It's art. It still takes forever to read, though, because you're looking at it. [01:20:11] Speaker A: Because you're looking at everything. I guess not. Breezy is not the right word. It's just light. It's. It was fun sharing it, like, showing Brandon, like, oh, look, they make, like, a funny spawn comic. And they thought that was pretty cool. [01:20:21] Speaker B: Nice. [01:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah. It's just nice to see him take the piss out of it and excited to see where it goes as it builds. [01:20:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. It's. It's. It's just fun. It's. It's a good time. It's. It's what you want from a comic book. And there's. There's Jokes on jokes on jokes on jokes. And I'm going to give it a natural four. I'm going to give it four bum bums brushing its teeth in the sink with a brush elator. [01:20:43] Speaker A: Brush elator. [01:20:45] Speaker B: Look at that little guy. He's so. He's so cute. He's so cute. [01:20:48] Speaker A: We love little guys on the show. [01:20:51] Speaker B: I like how when he picks them up, he's got a little butt. [01:20:54] Speaker A: Of course. [01:20:57] Speaker B: This. There's a lot of button spawn. You know, I don't. We didn't notice it before. Before we started covering. [01:21:04] Speaker A: We, like, summoned it maybe. I don't know. Swan kills everyone. Swan just pointed it out to us and is highlighting the butts. [01:21:11] Speaker B: We're here for it. [01:21:12] Speaker A: We're here for it. [01:21:13] Speaker B: We should probably bonk again. The four bum bums. It's. It's just fun. I'm enjoying the hell out of this series. Sometimes these little funny, goofy series can take themselves a little more seriously and be just a little difficult to get through, but this is a joy. I look forward to it every time it comes out. [01:21:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And the art. Just all the fun Easter eggs. And it's fun to see John Lehman do the Scorch. And then something like this, like. Yeah, he's really got range. [01:21:44] Speaker B: Yeah, that's talent. [01:21:48] Speaker A: Speaking of the talented John Lehman, our second issue was scorch 33. Kind of the origin of this femme haunt of Sophia Swain, my new girlfriend. But, yeah, it's a fun little, like, story. I love how it flashes back to, like, classic Spawn, and we get, like, a classic Spawn battle from the early days that was just, like, so much fun and unexpected. Yeah, it felt like a great cameo in a movie. When you saw, like, classic Spawn, like, it was really powerful. And just the art helps sell it because, like, that when he shows up, it looks so good. Yeah, the art of this issue is just great. I really enjoyed the story. Like I said, I enjoyed the classic Swan parts. I think this femme haunt is pretty cool. Excited to see what trouble she causes. For the Scorched, I'm going to give it 4.5. Hello, nurses. [01:22:37] Speaker B: Excellent work. I agree. I like that each of the titles is now getting a little sort of sort of standalone backstory issue. And I just love it when they do these. And every time they've done it in the Scorch so far, it's been fantastic. And John Lehman is just keeping up that rich tradition of great spawn sort of standalone backstory issues. John Lehman's killing it. He's. He's so fucking Good at writing shit, Johnny, I don't know if he knows this, but he. It's a fucking good writer, man. Yeah, he should rightfully get paid for this shit. Johnny. It's so good. And this art is fantastic. It goes. It goes hard. It is disgusting. And that is what you want in a book about a female haunt that just lives for the kill. It fits so well. It is a great tonal pairing. [01:23:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought so too. [01:23:43] Speaker B: And yeah, the cameo, it's a great cameo. It's not even. It's not even like a pandering cameo. I could. We didn't expect it. [01:23:49] Speaker A: I mean, no, it was badass. [01:23:51] Speaker B: Why would we. And it's fucking great. Oh, man. I. Johnny, I am gonna give this five R boys busting in on her while she's killing the cop. Five Stammon twitches for this. Hell yeah. [01:24:05] Speaker A: Nice. [01:24:06] Speaker B: It is. [01:24:06] Speaker A: Five classic salmon twitches. [01:24:08] Speaker B: Fucking. It's beautiful. It's great. It's great. [01:24:13] Speaker A: My coffee still smells good. [01:24:15] Speaker B: Nice. That's always a bonus. And speaking of beautiful and great and smells good, Johnny, Our friends in the spawn community on Instagram are all beautiful and look good and smell great. I assume so. They haven't invented the smell o vision for Instagram yet, but as soon as they do, I know that we're gonna be getting wafts of some good shit. [01:24:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I need to get on that. [01:24:39] Speaker B: I would love to go see the Spawn hunter spawn room, because I bet that shit smells like a bookstore and. Oh, man, I bet it smells so good in there. But speaking of good looking, good looking individuals, we have a friend who is a comic collector and I very much appreciate how he presents his collection because normally it's just, here's the book, the book by itself. But he always puts a. He puts himself in every issue. So he just holds it up and hides his face a little bit. It's great. His name is Comic Underscore Drew. His name is also a little bit of a pun, which I appreciate because Drew, comic, comic, comic Drew. [01:25:29] Speaker A: I get it. [01:25:30] Speaker B: But he's. He's just got a great collection. And it's really fun because he holds the comics up to his mouth and takes the picture and it's a great presentation, especially when he gets issues that prominently feature a mouth on them. So it looks like he's. He's got like a. An issue of a Joker comic that it makes it look like he's got the Joker smile. It's a fun way to present a comic book collection. And I am here for it. And the fact that he has a shit ton of Spawn helps. [01:26:03] Speaker A: Yep. Yeah, he's like a Spawn fan. And he's, you know, give him a follow. [01:26:08] Speaker B: Yeah, he also likes the Ninja Turtles, which. Fuck yeah, Ninja Turtles rock. He's got this great. This great piece of art King Spawn piece that he's holding up. It's just Spawn with a little bitty crown on him. And man, give him a follow. [01:26:28] Speaker A: While you're on Instagram, make sure to give us a follow. We are regarding SpawnPod post about our episodes and other fun stuff. If you want to reach out to us, you can do it on Instagram or you can always hit us up in an email regarding spawnpodmail.com. [01:26:41] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [01:26:42] Speaker A: Every week I like to ask a question. And this week I would like to ask what your favorite Easter egg from that two page spread and Spawn kills every spawn number two was. [01:26:50] Speaker B: Mm. [01:26:51] Speaker A: I think mine was probably the Bronies. [01:26:54] Speaker B: The Brownies. Yeah, that's. That's a good one. I guess. [01:27:00] Speaker A: They weren't Bronies. They were ponies. They should have been a spawn bro. [01:27:02] Speaker B: You're. You're. I guess now you are a spawn Brony. [01:27:06] Speaker A: I'm a spawn Brony. I'm a Spawn Pony Brony. [01:27:09] Speaker B: Spawn Pony Brony at the. At the Spawn Pony Bony Brony Club Club of. [01:27:15] Speaker A: I know what yours favorite is. Godzilla. [01:27:18] Speaker B: Oh, mine's definitely the Snoopy. [01:27:20] Speaker A: Okay. I like Phoenix the Cat too. [01:27:23] Speaker B: The Godzilla is great. But if we had seen. If we had seen the Godzilla face, I probably would have chosen Godzilla as my favorite. I do like the fact that it only shows you the bottom because it is funny. That's a funny joke. But if Snoopy is there, you're going to have to work really hard to do better than Snoopy. I love that guy. [01:27:43] Speaker A: I like Felix the Cat. So, yeah, maybe Felix is my favorite. Felix or the Brony the Pony Brony. I'm a pony Brony Pony and I'm a Felix head. [01:27:52] Speaker B: Yeah, Lonnie Bones might be a pony Brony. We'll see a Spawn pony Brony. Maybe that'll get him into Spawn. [01:28:01] Speaker A: I saw he went as fucking Art the Clown for Halloween. Walk around his neighborhood. [01:28:07] Speaker B: Oh, man. Scary shit. But Lonnie Bones does our music and it's great. Just Google Lonnie Bones. It's Lonnie with a Y, not an ie. He does good shit. And he dresses up as Art the motherfucking Clown for Halloween. So, you know, he's a quality individual. [01:28:22] Speaker A: You know, he's legit. [01:28:23] Speaker B: We love Lonnie Bones on this, and not just because he makes our music. He made our music because we love him, not the other way around. [01:28:30] Speaker A: Both can be true. Please make sure to rate Review. Subscribe. Tell people about us. Tell your friends, family, coworkers, anyone who's getting into Spawn with these new titles. Let them know we're out here talking to Spawn. [01:28:44] Speaker B: We're out here in these alleys talking to these kitty cats. We are like. Like the. Like the Violator talking to cats in the alleys. If you won't listen to us, they will. At least. Johnny. While everybody's out there talking, talking to people, commenting, letting them know they should listen to some Spawn or read some Spawn and listen to respawn, you know, let them know they can take. They can take Thanksgiving off. We. We are going to take Thanksgiving off because we will be in food comas, and, boy howdy, there's going to be a lot of dead air to have to cut out. So we're just going to skip over that. [01:29:23] Speaker A: Yeah. So next week, we will not have a new episode. [01:29:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:29:27] Speaker A: We're taking a Thanksgiving break. Our first time not having an episode on a Friday since we came out. Maybe not just for just a weekly episode. [01:29:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:29:35] Speaker A: But we feel like we deserve a break. A lot of big podcasts do it. Yeah, we're going to do it. [01:29:39] Speaker B: So sorry. Sorry about it. We've got 114 other issues to listen. Episodes to listen to. [01:29:47] Speaker A: Get cracking. [01:29:48] Speaker B: Get cracking. It'll give you a chance to get caught up on some Spawn. It'll give us a chance to get caught up on some spawn. [01:29:55] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:29:55] Speaker B: And it'll give us a chance to drown our sorrows about the horrible origins of this particular holiday in whatever food we can shove in our faces. This is America. Whoop. [01:30:10] Speaker A: Hey, I still enjoy Thanksgiving. I'm sorry, man. [01:30:13] Speaker B: I fucking love food. So. Yeah. And we'll get to see Al Roker talking about his grandmother's sweet potato poon on the parade. [01:30:21] Speaker A: I love the parade. I watch the parade every year. [01:30:23] Speaker B: I watch the parade every year, too. And then we watch the dog show. Oh, man, it's. It's a great. It's its origins. Sus. But it's a. It's a good time. I enjoy it. [01:30:35] Speaker A: It's a good holiday. [01:30:35] Speaker B: Yeah. But then the week after Thanksgiving, we're going to put out another episode. We're going to be reading some stuff. Johnny. And that is going to be. We are going to follow up on some of these current issues because we're trying to get caught up on some Current Spawn. And it will be one of our favorite pairings, Johnny. [01:30:57] Speaker A: Oh, yes, I know what you're gonna say. [01:30:59] Speaker B: That go great together. We are going to read Rat City Number six and Salmon Twitch case files number six. [01:31:06] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. [01:31:07] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. There's gonna be a lot of food talk in that episode, too. So, you know, we'll probably still be full from Thanksgiving, so we won't be distracted by food like we always are. [01:31:18] Speaker A: Yes. We'll have leftovers we can, like, dip into. [01:31:21] Speaker B: So that means Sam will be able to eat a hoagie, and we won't just be like, God, I need a hoagie now. And we probably will anyway, because hoagies are fucking good. But. [01:31:31] Speaker A: Yeah, who doesn't like a leftover turkey sandwich? [01:31:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So have as good of a Thanksgiving as you possibly can. Eat some stuff for us. Please have an extra plate and say, I'm eating this for David and Johnny. Your family will understand, I promise. Then read Rat City 6 and Salmon Twitch case files number 6 and come back and listen to us the week after Thanksgiving. [01:31:52] Speaker A: Sounds perfect. [01:31:53] Speaker B: Sounds perfect to me. Well, Johnny, that was a. [01:31:56] Speaker A: Sounds like something to be thankful for. [01:31:58] Speaker B: Johnny, I am thankful for you, and I am thankful for Spawn, and I am thankful that we get to do this thing together because it brings me so much joy. And I love. I love being happy. I'm not afraid to admit it, Johnny. I'm out here, everybody's out here saying everything's bad, and I like being happy. And so I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure that I can be happy and you can be happy, and we can all be happy. And so I think that leaves me with nothing else to say, but may the scorch be with you, Johnny, and. [01:32:34] Speaker A: Also with you, David. [01:32:36] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [01:32:37] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Hope you have a good one. [01:32:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Happy spawnsgiving. Happy respawnsgiving. I guess spawnsgiving would be the main holiday, and then respawnsgiving is the leftovers that you have for a week. [01:32:50] Speaker A: Yes. We're the leftovers. [01:32:52] Speaker B: We're the leftovers. I don't mind it. [01:32:54] Speaker A: I love leftovers. [01:32:56] Speaker B: If it weren't for the main course of Spawn and all that creative effort that goes into that, we'd have nothing to talk about. It would just be me and Johnny looking at each other going, yep. Like King of the Hill style, which sit there and drink and say, yep, a lot. Which is very boring for an audio medium if you think about it. [01:33:18] Speaker A: Yep.