Episode 162 - Medieval Spawn 3 and Spawn 367

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I can injure more if you want Spawn. Or you can give me a necro touch. Foreign. And welcome to the Mal Bulge. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best spawn podcast. I am your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:46] Speaker B: And I am your snow miser, David Williams. [00:00:49] Speaker A: No, you're the Grinch. [00:00:50] Speaker B: Oh, I am the Grinch. Yeah. That's. That's what we were talking about. [00:00:52] Speaker A: You look a little green, David. [00:00:54] Speaker B: A little green? [00:00:56] Speaker A: No, just hairy. You're hairy. [00:00:58] Speaker B: I got. I got termites in my smile. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Or is it just a burn after a burned. I heard that was popped on the radio. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Fucking. That fucking sandwich. A banana peel sandwich with arsenic sauce. Jesus Christ. [00:01:13] Speaker A: With arsenic sauce. [00:01:15] Speaker B: That's rough stuff. I taking the seasick crocodile. Whoo. [00:01:19] Speaker A: Between you and getting my dick cut off, I chose getting my dick cut off. [00:01:28] Speaker B: So how's the weather in Tulsa, Johnny? Cold. Cold. [00:01:32] Speaker A: Is it as cold as Chicago? [00:01:33] Speaker B: Probably 10 inches of snow. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Ish. No. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Somewhere around there. 8 inches. 10 inches. A lot of snow. [00:01:40] Speaker A: How do you feel about that? [00:01:41] Speaker B: I. I love it. I got to shovel. I love shoveling. Let's go. I'm here for it. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Okay. It's good. It's good exercise, but it's also. I've heard on the radio and like, on news, you can have a heart attack doing it. [00:01:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's the. The number one cause of heart attacks for people over 40 in the areas where it happens, just because. [00:02:02] Speaker A: So be careful, David. [00:02:03] Speaker B: You're lifting your. Most people, that's the only exercise they get. And it's a. It's a really rough exercise to try to. Try to do once a year. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. That's good. You're a good exerciser. [00:02:16] Speaker B: I'm trying to be careful. Trying to be good. I accidentally walked three and a half miles today. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Three and a half. [00:02:23] Speaker B: Three and a half. I walked from. For those who understand Chicago geography, I walked from the medical district to Streeterville. [00:02:32] Speaker A: I walked between 13 and 16 miles a day. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Well, I feel like a bum. [00:02:36] Speaker A: And I'm not gonna. It has to do with my job, but I'm never gonna say what my fucking job is on this podcast. [00:02:42] Speaker B: His job is the running man. [00:02:43] Speaker A: I am the running man. Get me, fuckers. Actually, the movie's growing up. I need to see it again. [00:02:49] Speaker B: It's a fun movie. [00:02:50] Speaker A: I just. It's Fun Hour is like a masterpiece. They're like, we the line with the cops. And he's like, do not sit down. Do not lay down. Do not talk. That's so terrifying. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Cuz I would be. I would have been in that same position. I would have been like, but look at this. And gotten the exact same ass beating that he got. [00:03:09] Speaker A: Would you have been red? Would you have the red mark? I mean, you, You're a union man. [00:03:14] Speaker B: I, I, I, I mean, you're not a union man. But I'm pro you. There's no, there is no union that I can be a part of. [00:03:21] Speaker A: But I'm saying you're pro union. So if you could help a union, you would. Like you did in that movie. [00:03:26] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Definitely help a commie union. [00:03:30] Speaker B: I love a commie. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, speaking of communal wealth. We're wealthy with Spawn. It's Christmas time. We're. [00:03:40] Speaker B: We're filthy rich. [00:03:41] Speaker A: When is this episode coming out? Like right around Christmas. Huh? [00:03:44] Speaker B: Maybe after. Oh, this will be coming out like two weeks from now. [00:03:50] Speaker A: So right before Christmas, Something like that. [00:03:52] Speaker B: No, Maybe three weeks from now. Shit. I can't remember how many. [00:03:54] Speaker A: I don't know, two or three weeks. But we're doing well. [00:03:58] Speaker B: Christmas is either about to happen or just happened, so. [00:04:01] Speaker A: So you're in the Christmas time. You're in the Yuletide. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Yeah, the Yule times. [00:04:05] Speaker A: The old times. [00:04:08] Speaker B: Like in Yule log. Not that I have a lock. [00:04:11] Speaker A: Little Christmas vacation there. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Vacation. [00:04:14] Speaker A: My dad says. A bit nipply all the time, even when it's not Christmas. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Can't even see the line, can you, Russ? [00:04:21] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You sure can't, dad. Wow. [00:04:25] Speaker B: Quarter. A whole quarter. [00:04:29] Speaker A: My dad said that part always reminded him of me. [00:04:32] Speaker B: Which the, the lesson. [00:04:34] Speaker A: That movie in general, with that part where he goes, wow. Quarter. A whole quarter. [00:04:38] Speaker B: A whole corner. [00:04:40] Speaker A: To rub her bunion. Right? [00:04:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And she'll give. She'll give Audrey one, too. [00:04:46] Speaker A: We're abundant with Spawn. We're abundant with Yuletide spirits. But we're covering Spawn. [00:04:56] Speaker B: Yeah, we sure are. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Because we are. Respawn. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:01] Speaker A: For each week, we bring you two issues from Spawn's universe. [00:05:04] Speaker B: Except when we don't, or at least we try to. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Or we do a Thanksgiving episode because we need a break too. [00:05:11] Speaker B: I'm thankful that we took a Thanksgiving break, John. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm fine with that. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:15] Speaker A: Come at me if you want to see. [00:05:16] Speaker B: If you want to see what else we're thankful for. Listen to the episode. Dang it. [00:05:20] Speaker A: Yeah. It's only like 13 minutes long. [00:05:23] Speaker B: It was gonna be two minutes long. And then we were just so full of. Thanks, Johnny. [00:05:28] Speaker A: We were so thankful. But I'm thankful for these two issues we got in Front of us. I really am. They're both. [00:05:35] Speaker B: They're pretty. They're pretty fun. They're pretty fun. [00:05:38] Speaker A: I don't know how you're coming in on. Okay, so just to say we were doing medieval spawn number three. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:42] Speaker A: All the way back from June 2025. And spawn 367 all the way back from August 2025. So what. How are you gonna come in on this? 367 is what I want to know. Because I. I think I'm gonna be pro. Let's see how it happens. [00:06:02] Speaker B: I think it's. I think it's fun. I think it benefits from us having had read a main title spawn for like six weeks. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it was wacky do. [00:06:15] Speaker B: I couldn't. I can't help but think of, like, small tweaks that would have made it, like, so much better. But I mean, you know, it's pretty fun. That Brett. Boo. Darth Booth art. Geez. Didn't do my vocal warm up. [00:06:33] Speaker A: And then it was time. [00:06:36] Speaker B: And then it was time. And then there were three. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Three evil spawn. [00:06:41] Speaker B: Three. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Because he's in the snow. So it's related to what you were saying. 10 inches of snow in my cover. He's in. [00:06:47] Speaker B: I was about to say, Johnny, no, I ain't got no snow. [00:06:50] Speaker A: My cover is a snow. Because I have the A cover. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Got the A cover. The Jonathan. Jonathan Uribe with Steve Cannon. [00:06:59] Speaker A: It's canon, baby. Hell yeah, it's canon. How intricate that armor is. And he looks great. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Let me see that. Let me see that bad boy. Joni, hold that up to the camera again. Oh, man. Yeah, it's got that classic. That classic shield. That's. Oh, boy. It's a good shield. It's a hell of good shield. [00:07:19] Speaker A: Good shield. [00:07:20] Speaker B: I got the COVID b. The Federico Sabatini with Mefuria. And it's like a kind of a little bit of like the classic woodcut style with the. The inking there. It's just very classic, very fantasy coated. [00:07:37] Speaker A: It's awesome. [00:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. It's got medieval and a dragon and a castle. It's got this nice little border. I like the border. The border is kind of dope. Yeah. Good covers, Johnny. They're good covers to this issue. [00:07:48] Speaker A: They are. [00:07:48] Speaker B: They are. Yeah. [00:07:50] Speaker A: It is good. I. You know, this is my favorite. This is one of my favorite medieval spawn things. I was never really a medieval spawn guy. Yeah, this series is good. [00:08:01] Speaker B: The. He's done right. He's pretty. He's pretty groovy. [00:08:04] Speaker A: Yeah. When Neil Gaiman writes him. [00:08:08] Speaker B: When Neil Gaiman creates him, you mean? Oh, I mean, that's a. It's a fucking good issue, though, Johnny. Issue number nine. You gotta. You gotta admit. Yeah. It's a good issue of Spawn fucking Creepazoid. Cancel this shit. [00:08:21] Speaker A: That's why the Internet sucks. You would just stumble upon that and be like, this is awesome. [00:08:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:24] Speaker A: They know nothing about it. Not even the guy's name who fucking wrote it. Like it should be. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. No, not. Not. [00:08:31] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. It's just not what the Internet sucks. It's just like, man. Wow. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:38] Speaker A: It's just complicated. I got my Apple replay today where it says, like, how much music you listen to, what you listen to. [00:08:44] Speaker B: Mm. [00:08:44] Speaker A: I was in the top 1000 listeners of Apple Music didn't tell me where. I wish it was giving me a. [00:08:49] Speaker B: Fucking ranking just of Oingo Boingo. Okay, nice. I thought you were saying of Apple Music across the board, and I was. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Like, o Boingo listeners. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Nice. [00:09:03] Speaker A: My girlfriend instantly said there's a thousand people. [00:09:09] Speaker B: You mean your ex girlfriend? [00:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah, she's gone the way to Jack Skellington, if you know what I'm saying. [00:09:17] Speaker B: Well, she. She was questioning her place in life and decided to take over somebody else's job for a little bit and entirely fucked it up and then realized why she loved me. Oh, okay. [00:09:32] Speaker A: She's a skeleton. Because you don't make fun of Wingo Boingo. If you make fun of Winkle Boingo, you turn into a skeleton. No, but I got. I got. I have to admit this because we were talking about Neil Gaiman. [00:09:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:44] Speaker A: So I put that in a group chat, and Aaron, my buddy, was like, are you canceled? I was like, why? Why would it be canceled? And it's because there were, like, allegations against Danny Elfman that everyone just, like, forgot about. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Oh, geez. Oh, no. [00:09:59] Speaker A: He's, like, made someone, like. He sent someone, like, naked pictures. Like, made him record naked with him. [00:10:04] Speaker B: Oh, geez. Oh, God. Boo. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Don't do that. Yeah, exactly. [00:10:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Dinkus. Dingus doesn't like that. Dingus says that's bad. I know. [00:10:15] Speaker A: I was pissed off, but I'm still listening to Oinko Oingo. What are you gonna do? [00:10:22] Speaker B: You gotta. You gotta. I guess you gotta pick your battles. You gotta pick your battles. Not to say that you should separate the artist from the art. You should always remember. You just gotta know your tolerance levels. [00:10:33] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I love one. Good boy. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Go. [00:10:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I figured all. Bunch of Hollywood sickos, you know, they. [00:10:39] Speaker B: Are pretty much sickos all the time. Like, like what am I supposed to like, no longer ever enjoy a movie that so bad? I'm not even gonna say his name produced it. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Harvey Weinstein. [00:10:53] Speaker B: Yeah, that guy. [00:10:54] Speaker A: I mean like you can't like watch Shakespeare in Love or anything. [00:10:57] Speaker B: No, you can't watch. You can't watch basically any movie from the mid-90s to the mid teens. [00:11:03] Speaker A: Any Oscar winning film. Dimension. I mean, Scream. He did scream. [00:11:08] Speaker B: I could scream. Got way too big for its britches. Jesus Christ. [00:11:15] Speaker A: Scream hater. [00:11:17] Speaker B: I liked Scream 1. Scream 2 was pretty okay. They should have stopped at Scream 3. [00:11:23] Speaker A: They should have not made Scream 3. [00:11:25] Speaker B: Yeah, they really. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Or 4 and then 5 was pretty good. [00:11:28] Speaker B: These I didn't see. [00:11:29] Speaker A: 6 and 7 is coming. [00:11:33] Speaker B: They've already done it all before, though. I don't wanna. I don't wanna watch the exact same thing again. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Scream 3 sucks. [00:11:39] Speaker B: Is that the. Is that the one with the. They're making the movie. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Yes. The director of the movie is her brother. He like worked his way in the film industry to like kill her. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah, it's. It should have been a one and done. It should have been a one and done. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Two was good. [00:11:58] Speaker B: It still should have been a one and done. [00:11:59] Speaker A: But it's making fun of the. I know slashers have infinite sequels. [00:12:03] Speaker B: David. I know what it's doing, but it's just. They're bad. I'm here for. I'm here for. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Have you seen. How many have you seen? [00:12:10] Speaker B: I've seen all of them except for the new one, the seven. [00:12:14] Speaker A: You saw six? Five was good. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I saw six. Six is the one where they're trying to like. [00:12:19] Speaker A: It was in New York City. He had a shotgun. [00:12:21] Speaker B: They're making like all the new. They're trying to make new rules that don't make any sense and then they're trying to negate the rules and it's just like. Just stop. It's a headache trying to follow what is happening. Please. Okay, that is my take. That is my take. [00:12:35] Speaker A: Okay. One, two, five and maybe seven's good. [00:12:39] Speaker B: There's one thing that I liked about both five and six, and that is shit. I am blanking on her name. [00:12:45] Speaker A: Please don't be creepy about it. Fucking Jenna Ortega. [00:12:49] Speaker B: Jenna Ortega. [00:12:50] Speaker A: Yeah, she's great. [00:12:50] Speaker B: I love Jenna Ortega. She's fucking awesome. Great actor. She's a great actor. Wednesday is a fun as hell show. It's stupid, but it's fun as hell. [00:13:00] Speaker A: She does a dance. [00:13:01] Speaker B: She does do that dance. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Got Tim Burton working. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah, he directed like almost all the episodes of the second season. [00:13:10] Speaker A: He directed all the first season. [00:13:12] Speaker B: I thought he. I thought he only directed a couple of the first season because there were definitely a couple of other directors in the first season. [00:13:19] Speaker A: Well, Lady Da. [00:13:20] Speaker B: Yeah, Bloodlines was good, though. Final Destination. Bloodlines. That movie. That movie kicked some serious ass. [00:13:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:29] Speaker B: Did you see it? [00:13:31] Speaker A: No. [00:13:31] Speaker B: You should see it. It's good. [00:13:33] Speaker A: Okay, but you should see is we talked about the covers. Let's go on the inside of this. Medieval Spawn Number three. [00:13:39] Speaker B: Oh, I should see who these creators are, huh? [00:13:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Script, plot by Rory McConville. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [00:13:45] Speaker A: Art by Marco Etri. Color by Ulysses Arriola. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Lettering by AIM World Design. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah, they did. [00:13:53] Speaker A: We already covered the covers. Creative Director, Simon McFarlane. Editor in Chief is Thomas Healy. [00:14:02] Speaker B: You know. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Previously. Sorry, I was just waiting. Previously. Previously. A Medieval Spawn. Medieval Spawn. This is serious business, David. Stop laughing. Serious Medieval Spawn decides only the warlock Bastion can assist him in locating Abraxas. [00:14:32] Speaker B: He's also the one who reads the book. So. From the Never Ending Story. From the Never Ending Story. The Braxton. [00:14:39] Speaker A: The Bastion. Oh, my God. [00:14:43] Speaker B: So where's the childlike Empress? Johnny, there's no child like Empress. [00:14:46] Speaker A: You're like your base, like, knowledge of movies is like 80s movies you'd find in a library. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Hey. [00:14:56] Speaker A: Labyrinth. [00:14:57] Speaker B: We almost exclusively checked out movies from the library until the mid to late 90s. [00:15:04] Speaker A: There you go. [00:15:04] Speaker B: You know how many times I saw the fucking Rankin and Bass Hobbit? About a bajillion. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Because it was at the library. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Because it was the library. And also was the Brave Little Toaster and Runaway Ralph. Oh, actually, it was the mouse. And the motorcycle was the first one. Fucking loved that guy. Did you ever see the mouse on the motorcycle? [00:15:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, when I was a kid. I don't, like, remember specifics about it. Really? [00:15:26] Speaker B: Me either. [00:15:26] Speaker A: So we left off, Medieval Spawn was about to fight a troll. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:31] Speaker A: In this motherfucking auto dempster. Patrick Dempsey. [00:15:35] Speaker B: Patrick. He looks pretty. Patrick Dempsey. [00:15:40] Speaker A: He doesn't look like Patrick Dempsey. [00:15:42] Speaker B: He could be. He could be Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Dempsey could be him. There we go. [00:15:47] Speaker A: You play him. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Patrick Dempsey has recently done a heel turn Thanksgiving. Yeah, that was the big. That was the biggest. [00:15:56] Speaker A: I just rewatched it. [00:15:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Because I remember going to it, and Wanda was like, what are you gonna go see? And I was like, it's got Patrick Dempsey in it. And she's like, oh, okay. And then I come back and I was like, he's the bad guy. And she says, what? How can Patrick Dempsey be the John Cava. [00:16:11] Speaker A: It's a good movie. [00:16:12] Speaker B: He's good. It's. It's a great movie. [00:16:14] Speaker A: It's a great movie. [00:16:14] Speaker B: It's a good movie. [00:16:15] Speaker A: It's very gory. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Yeah, it's fun. There's not enough Thanksgiving movies. You've got that and Plane, Trains and Automobiles, Right? [00:16:22] Speaker A: That's about it. [00:16:23] Speaker B: That's about it. Everybody's just too excited for Christmas. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Shame. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:30] Speaker A: But we open, I guess. [00:16:33] Speaker B: You've also got the Peanuts Thanksgivings. There's two of them. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Yeah, there's two. [00:16:37] Speaker B: What are you talking about? [00:16:37] Speaker A: It's the two Peanuts Thanksgivings. [00:16:39] Speaker B: Yeah, they're real good. I like the one where Snoopy throws Snoopy cooks the dinner more than the one that's the retelling of the first Thanksgiving, though. [00:16:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:52] Speaker B: But. Yeah, we've got Patrick Dempsey, Otto von Bismarck here. A little bit of backstory on him about how, man, he really wanted to be a knight. He wanted to be a Night so goddamn bad. [00:17:02] Speaker A: The clergy on his parents. [00:17:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. He was. It was like the fucking kid from the Witch. [00:17:10] Speaker A: You're pro. To both of his parents for devil worship. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Yeah. And then they were like, hey, guess what? You're not gonna be a knight. You're gonna be a cleric. So now he's got all this. This rage from being turned into a cleric, and he's. He's marching. He's marching forth from the abbey. [00:17:29] Speaker A: He had an injury in his late teens. Maybe like Bobby in Thanksgiving. He got trampled in a Black Friday sale. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Maybe. Maybe. [00:17:35] Speaker A: And it broke his golden, golden arm. [00:17:37] Speaker B: Speaking of breaking golden arms. We'll get there. [00:17:40] Speaker A: I know. Next issue. [00:17:43] Speaker B: So now. So now, like, very much like a. An injured high school player who can no longer do sports. He's just a miserable person. He's gonna take it out on everybody, especially Neil Swan. Mm. To whom we cut in media fight with the troll and him and Fitzpatrick. Not Fitzpatrick. I literally just read his name. Christ. [00:18:12] Speaker A: Hmm. [00:18:12] Speaker B: Richard Medieval spawn and Richard Fitzpatrick. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Who's Richard Fitzpatrick? Your accountant? [00:18:19] Speaker B: No, they were. There was a. They referenced a Fitzpatrick later, and I think it's Fitzpatrick and Cuthbert. It was the other two guys. [00:18:26] Speaker A: One of his old guys. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Two guys are like, you look, do what you want. We're leaving the. [00:18:33] Speaker B: This troll still's got the little. Little skeletons on his belt, which is awesome. And medieval. And Medieval and Richard are medieval's. Like, we're gonna flank this guy. If this were written by the Todd father, they would have mentioned pinscher maneuver. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Pincer. [00:18:47] Speaker B: I heard the knower. [00:18:49] Speaker A: Oh, My God. [00:18:52] Speaker B: So Medieval says he moves, we move. And, well, then he moves and they move. Richard jumps up, gives him a stab. Medieval jumps up, gives him a stab in the eye. Knife to the eye. Then. Then out comes from the cave, Bastion himself, saying, john, you old so and so. You know how hard it is to get good help these days. Yeah, so? So they, you know, they have a pretty warm reunion. And then Bastion's like, wait, who the is this kid? Medieval's like, we need your assistance, dude. Bastion says, you must be desperate. Then follow me. And we get a little voiceover from Medieval who says, on the way, Richard asked why I didn't go to Bastion for help first. And, well, now. Now that he gets a chance to know, he's got to realize that only a fool would trust Bastion. [00:19:48] Speaker A: So even though he's one of the greatest warlocks of the era. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Even though. Even though. And Medieval spawn is that fool? Apparently. So, yeah, they make a deal, you know, Bastion is going to help John of York and Richard with this little Abraxas issue. And then John of York is going to owe Bastion a unrefusable boon in the future, which. That sounds like the worst deal to take, but desperate times, I guess, Johnny. [00:20:23] Speaker A: So just a free favor? Like I get to call in a favor on you one day? [00:20:27] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like, you gotta. You gotta. You gotta pay it. It'll be fine. So Medieval pulls out the amulet that they found and he's like, this is how Abraxas was drawn to our world. Bastion says, astral parasite from the fourth plane for fourth realm. Nasty stuff. [00:20:48] Speaker A: That's the ice shrimp are from. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Ooh, ice shrimp. Still looking. Still looking forward to those ice shrimp. [00:20:54] Speaker A: They were teas in the 90s, and. [00:20:56] Speaker B: We still haven't seen them damn shrimp teas. So. So Bastion just, like, immediately starts going over to his. His. His, like, altar and his books, and he's like, what? I gotta. What am I gonna get for this? I know what I'm gonna get for this. He needs a host. So he finds a host. One of his. One of his. Oh, we're not quite there yet. But they need to find a host to put Abraxas into so that way they can end Abraxas by killing the host. So that's the plan. [00:21:24] Speaker A: Just like the old Drag me to hell. Put the lamy in the goat. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Yeah, and kill the goat. Easy, easy. Easy peasy easy. It's not gonna backfire in any way, shape or form. [00:21:37] Speaker A: Not gonna happen. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Nope. Then we cut back to Otto and his men. And Otto's like, I got this. This weird thing that's telling me where Medieval Spawn is. He's just down there. This thing is cool. [00:21:48] Speaker A: It's like a Sith Wayfinder from Revenge of the Skywalker or whatever. [00:21:54] Speaker B: It's pretty awesome. [00:21:55] Speaker A: He's, like, thinking J.B. pritzker's least favorite Star wars movie. [00:21:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah. To those. To those who have seen J.B. pritzker's ranking of Star wars movies, it's Johnny approved. Johnny. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Except no. Phantom Menace is way too low. I didn't approve it. What? You didn't talk to me about it. [00:22:11] Speaker B: I showed it to you, and you said. You showed it to me. You said, outside of the Phantom Menace being really low, it's a pretty solid list. [00:22:18] Speaker A: It's a solid list. It was fantomized as low. [00:22:22] Speaker B: I don't know. Return of the Jedi wasn't number one. So a lot of people were very excited that he just called it Star wars instead of A New Hope. Yeah. [00:22:30] Speaker A: I mean, that movie. [00:22:31] Speaker B: Star Wars Remnants. [00:22:38] Speaker A: Very exciting, but, yeah, he's got. It's like a Sith Wayfinder. It's like a Jedi holocron. He's a guy that, like, leads to Hell Swan, I guess. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Yeah. And apparently the Abbey has just, like, a whole room full of these little trinkets that they've studied and figured out what they do, so. And he's like, imagine. Imagine what we could do with these. What we could have been doing with these. And then the. The head of the knights of the Abbey, who was very like, sir, we would like to serve you, sir. It's like. It's a good thing we got you running the show. I feel like he's. I feel like he's laying the groundwork for a mutiny, Johnny. I feel like he's using this Auto guy. [00:23:20] Speaker A: He might be. [00:23:22] Speaker B: And so then we cut back to Bastion in the cave doing his. And Richard and Medieval are talking back and forth, and Medieval's like, yeah, don't be scared. And Richard's like, I'm not scared. And then Medieval's like, oh, shit, I forgot. He's still a child. Whoops. [00:23:41] Speaker A: You should be scared. Maybe a little bit. [00:23:44] Speaker B: Yeah. And then. And then immediately after that, Bastion's like, prepare yourselves. He comes. And then just a big blinding light. And then Abraxas is standing there in his cage of light, and he says, who dares? Yeah. [00:24:04] Speaker A: He's, like, looking like. [00:24:06] Speaker B: He looks like an ID4 alien. [00:24:09] Speaker A: He does look. An ID4 alien. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Alien looks like he Needs to talk through Brett Spiner. [00:24:14] Speaker A: For those who don't remember the brilliant marketing that is Independence Day, it was abbreviated in marketing as ID4. [00:24:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I couldn't remember the word independence. And it is Johnny. We get the rare. Somebody says, God save us in a spawn issue. And nobody says no. Or wrong guy. [00:24:36] Speaker A: Or wrong guy. [00:24:40] Speaker B: And then, you know, John of York starts questioning Abraxas. He's like, where have you been? [00:24:45] Speaker A: They're locusts. They go from planet to planet, draining of their natural resources. [00:24:51] Speaker B: That's basically kind of what Abraxas does here. Very much. And Abraxas has Learned, just like Mr. Mr. Violator himself learned that human bodies be weak. That you go through them. If you're hiding in a human, you've got only got a few good years out of that before. It's just a toast. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:12] Speaker B: Sebastian comes forth with one of his pets that he's going to use as the host. And it's just a rat. It's just a rat. [00:25:17] Speaker A: It's a rat. He's going to kill the rat. [00:25:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And Abraxas is like, is this really all necessary? What? Because I broke a few toys. And Richard's like, you killed my family. Oh, you blew up my home. And Abraxas like, well, just go home. Then he's like, you motherfucker. I just said I don't have one. Pretty funny. [00:25:37] Speaker A: And Richard's pissed. [00:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And Richard, like John of York is like, hold on, Richard. And Richard's like, I'm gonna stab him. And John Fjord's like, hold on. And then Bastion's like, you guys gotta shut up. I need. I need all my faculties to do this friggin spell here. And then in the middle of the spell, Abraxas is like, I sent someone else. Seems that your family will have to go unavenged for now. And then we cut back to Otto opening a box and talking. Like saying to the entity in the box, hey. Hello. Hi. Sora, we have to meet. This way. I'm gonna let you do some stuff. And we see that it is a banshee that has been bound and gagged within the abbey for a very long time. [00:26:24] Speaker A: I thought it was gonna be a Violator. [00:26:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't know what I thought it was gonna be. Banshee is cool though. [00:26:31] Speaker A: Banshees are cool though. Do you remember Monster in My Pocket? [00:26:36] Speaker B: I do not. [00:26:37] Speaker A: These little rubber monsters. And you didn't know. They're like a blind box. You know what you're gonna get. And they had A kind of like. [00:26:44] Speaker B: Kind of like the. The homies and the gumball machine at the front of the grocery store. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Yeah, if you buy a box of them and they had a banshee and I thought it was a cool figure. [00:26:53] Speaker B: Banshee is also an X Men. So, yeah, he's Irish and he flies by himself off the ground. [00:27:02] Speaker A: You buy a monster in my pocket on Amazon? [00:27:04] Speaker B: Probably. [00:27:05] Speaker A: Let's see. There's probably like an elaborate fan fiction. [00:27:08] Speaker B: Probably all old toys now have elaborate fictional universes. But yeah, Jon of York is like this creature. She was captured by the church so long ago and broken by them that she. There's no help in her now. [00:27:26] Speaker A: You can't buy monsters in my pocket on Amazon. [00:27:29] Speaker B: Dang it. EBay, probably. EBay. You want to see what price they are on ebay? [00:27:33] Speaker A: Let's see. [00:27:35] Speaker B: And so. So John of York is like, sad when he's like, well, sorry, banshee lady, but I don't have time to deal with you. So he just throws a knife and it hits her right in the throat. And she's like. And then medieval's like, ready yourself, Richard. She is just the first wave. And then the leader of the knights says, kill. Destroy the hellspawn. And the bastion says, oh, God, no. And we see that Abraxas has left his cage of light that bastion was holding him in. And so Abraxas is just there above the combatants and says, well, well, well, who wants 13? [00:28:15] Speaker A: These little rubber guys. A little lot of 13 is $30. [00:28:20] Speaker B: Oh, hey, that's not bad. That's like a little piece. Nice. There's a little, little, little. You need to get cargo pants. So that way you can have all of them in your pockets at once. [00:28:31] Speaker A: And you go back in time. Tell myself not to sell my toys at garage sale for literal pennies. [00:28:35] Speaker B: Yeah, you could have made. You could have made 30 whole dollars. A whole quarter. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Hey, yeah. [00:28:42] Speaker B: Oh, a whole quarter. And yeah, Abraxas is trying to figure out who he wants to inhabit. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Who will be my host. [00:28:52] Speaker B: Which of you shall I pick first? That's where the issue ends. We get a nice little skull to end it. [00:29:00] Speaker A: Indeed. [00:29:01] Speaker B: And then we get new generation, new stories, new you add with some Sam and Twitch and some Rat City and some deadly tales and some black rituals than the image. Classic set, of course. Very good, Very good. [00:29:15] Speaker A: House of Dragons. Little boxes. [00:29:18] Speaker B: Yeah, the little. The little boxes with the busts and the scrolls. But the dragons sold separately. [00:29:23] Speaker A: And dragons sold separately. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Dragon sold separately. It says it right there. And then Spawn. Call of Duty is the back of the COVID and. Very nice, very nice. That's Medieval spot number three, Johnny. Fine. It's a good little. Good little book. [00:29:39] Speaker A: Good time. [00:29:41] Speaker B: I enjoyed it. [00:29:42] Speaker A: Let me take some crackers, okay? I'm hungry. [00:29:47] Speaker B: Go get some crackers, dude. [00:29:49] Speaker A: I'm gonna eat some. I've got them right here. [00:29:50] Speaker B: Oh, it's gonna eat them on Mike. Are you gonna eat them, cookie monsters? [00:29:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna eat them in between. [00:29:55] Speaker B: Yeah, just so they go out the side of your mouth. We're back. [00:30:24] Speaker A: I do love Muppet Christmas Carol. [00:30:26] Speaker B: It's the best Christmas carol. [00:30:28] Speaker A: It's the best Christmas movie. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Light the lamp, not the rat. [00:30:32] Speaker A: Oh, we watched it twice. We watched. I watched it two days in a row last year. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Oh, nice. I haven't seen it in. I haven't seen it in a while. Our. Our Christmas Muppet show watching has actually been supplanted by Emmet Otter's Jug Band. Christmas, which is the most gentle thing in existence. [00:30:57] Speaker A: Hurts. [00:30:58] Speaker B: Good. It's so good. There's a. There's a shot of a boat going across water with the puppets in the boat. And the puppets are moving, and I still don't know how they pulled it off. Like, I think there has to be somebody laying under the water with, like, a little breathing tube out the side of the boat just, like, on their back doing puppet stuff. But it's incredible. [00:31:23] Speaker A: The scuba puppeters. [00:31:26] Speaker B: We need more puppetry in our movies again, Johnny. More puppets. [00:31:31] Speaker A: Christopher Nolan agrees. He's doing a big puppet for the Cyclops in the Odyssey. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [00:31:37] Speaker A: The biggest animatronic ever made or something. [00:31:39] Speaker B: Nice. I just watched Gremlins again, and those puppets are so good. [00:31:46] Speaker A: Friday, I watched Gremlins, too, not too long ago. [00:31:53] Speaker B: Oh, boy. I love Gremlins, too. [00:31:55] Speaker A: It's great. [00:31:56] Speaker B: It made me rather frightened of paper shredders for a little bit, though. [00:32:01] Speaker A: They're both just nightmare fuel. [00:32:04] Speaker B: They're pretty good, though. [00:32:05] Speaker A: You know that. You know, nightmare fuel, you know that comes from Mystery Science Theater. That's the origin of the phrase. [00:32:10] Speaker B: Really? Yeah. [00:32:12] Speaker A: In episode Crow says it about a robot Santa. He says, oh, that's nightmare fuel. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:32:18] Speaker A: That's literally where it's like, comes from. [00:32:21] Speaker B: That's awesome. That's awesome. We love it. We love a Mystery Science Theater. I think I've only seen, like, two or three of them, so. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Oh, dude, David, you're missing out. [00:32:34] Speaker B: I know. [00:32:34] Speaker A: There's a. There's a live YouTube channel that just constantly shows it. There's also a Pluto TV. But the YouTube channel has less commercials. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Ah, my friend. My friend Mike Norton, who is a big comics guy, has recently done art for the last two seasons of Mystery Science Theater. I should really get on it, but if only to support my friend Mike. Go support Mike Norton, everybody. [00:32:59] Speaker A: And to laugh. [00:33:00] Speaker B: And to laugh. Yeah. And I also have a feeling it's very up my alley. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm surprised you're not a fan. Especially the old episodes are good. They're very heartwarming and handmade. [00:33:13] Speaker B: Nice. [00:33:14] Speaker A: Speaking of heartwarming and handmade. [00:33:19] Speaker B: Hands. Hands were on. [00:33:20] Speaker A: Definitely handmade. [00:33:21] Speaker B: Yes, definitely. [00:33:25] Speaker A: We can tell too. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Who. [00:33:26] Speaker A: You can tell whose hands. [00:33:30] Speaker B: Who's used to be throwing baseball hands. [00:33:34] Speaker A: His leathery mitts are all over this issue because we were talking about spawn. Mainline spawn 367. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Oh, boy, it is wacky. [00:33:47] Speaker A: It's good. I love that. [00:33:49] Speaker B: It's fun as hell. [00:33:50] Speaker A: It's funny, dude. It's hilarious. It's crazy. He breaks the other's arms. Like, what the. [00:33:55] Speaker B: Yeah, but we gotta start. We gotta start with these covers, Johnny. Okay, what kind of covers? What kind of COVID you. [00:34:03] Speaker A: I got the A cover and I got Spawn with a sword. [00:34:07] Speaker B: That's not the sword he has in the. The issue. [00:34:09] Speaker A: No, it's a samurai sword. It's like his street level spawn sword. [00:34:13] Speaker B: It's like his king sponsor. [00:34:14] Speaker A: Some king spawn sword. And he's fighting some tentacles. [00:34:17] Speaker B: Nice. [00:34:19] Speaker A: Well, I have eyes. They got eyes or tentacles with eyes? [00:34:22] Speaker B: It's the Federico Sabatini cover, you say? [00:34:25] Speaker A: Yes. Nice with me, Furia. [00:34:28] Speaker B: Nice. Well, Johnny, we've got a thematic spawn and tentacle things because I've got the B cover, that taunt on Revolver, and it's got Spawn in a field of just like eels. Look at them. Look at all those guys. I like that. I like that. Spawn is just a twist of cape in the back there. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it's that the purple title treatment, though. [00:34:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it does. With the Hell Hath Arisen part five. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Like that purple. [00:35:00] Speaker B: It's a good one. That's a good one. Good cover. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Both covers. [00:35:05] Speaker B: Good covers. And well, Johnny, we gotta pop them open and get those good, good credits too. So we got scripted plot by Todd McFarlane, as if there was any doubt. Art by Brett Booth. [00:35:19] Speaker A: Wow. [00:35:20] Speaker B: It's. It's actual wow. Yes. Inks by Adele. [00:35:23] Speaker A: I was wowing a top father. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Yeah, well, no, no, I'm. I'm. I know. I heard you wow the Todd father, but I'm also saying the actual wow for Brett Booth. [00:35:33] Speaker A: What's the actual wow For Todd Father. [00:35:35] Speaker B: Too actual. Wow. For Todd Father. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Yes. I liked it. I'm not. It's not a bit. [00:35:42] Speaker B: No, I'm just saying it's. It's clear that the script of the plot. [00:35:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it's very clear. [00:35:48] Speaker B: We got the inks by Adelsa Corona and Danielle Enriquez. Wow. The colors by Robert Nugent. The lettering by the Tom father himself, Tom Orzikowski, Tom Father. We covered the covers. Todd McFarlane is also the creative director, and Thomas Healey is the editor in chief also. Wow. Previously in Spawn, the creature from hell has shrunk and is now ready to reveal its true. Yeah, it's done that. [00:36:25] Speaker A: It's exactly. I look, it's just so funny. Has shrunk. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Has shrunk. Not that the. Not that the Spawn like him up and it had to release like a. Like a. Like an age. [00:36:41] Speaker A: He shrunk. Like, he shrunk. He still this giant thing. [00:36:48] Speaker B: But we start with one of the coolest Face Offs in the history of Face Offs, Johnny. [00:36:55] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:36:55] Speaker B: It's Spawn standing next to this guy with these big fucking, like. Like Tim Curry from Legend horns, and they're just staring at each other. [00:37:07] Speaker A: And it's a top other issue, so it has a omniscient narrator. [00:37:13] Speaker B: Omnisupotent. [00:37:15] Speaker A: What is it? [00:37:16] Speaker B: Omniscient or omnipotent? Whichever. [00:37:20] Speaker A: Both. [00:37:20] Speaker B: You just. You. You just. You just smushed them together. It's fine. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm tired. [00:37:27] Speaker B: The omnish. Impotent would be funny because that would kind of basically be an unreliable narrator. Right? Omniscient. But impotent equals unreliable. Yeah, well, I love an unreliable narrator. Yep, to a degree. Sometimes it could be a little much. Everything in moderation. Right. So I don't know if we should start with reading any of the narration, because I think if we start, it'll be very difficult to stop. But basically, it's Spawn and this guy. This guy is what is left of Nyx's big ploy to steal some necroplasm from Spawn and then go to heaven and kill God. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Classic. [00:38:22] Speaker B: Yes. And so the. The guy. The guy starts off this issue by like, being like, hey, you know what you need to do? You know what I want to do? Just touch my hand, give me the necroplasm, kiss me, and we'll be done. And much like the uncool guy. Ask him for a high five, Johnny. Al Simmons just leaves him hanging. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Sounds like Spawn's got a case of the not gays. He's trying not to seem too gay. [00:38:50] Speaker B: I mean, and then. [00:38:54] Speaker A: And then I don't. I'm not saying this is it Spawn, dude. I don't know anything is wrong with it. [00:38:59] Speaker B: No, I'm. I'm saying that it would. With Spawn as the character. We have seen him in the 90s, he definitely would have done a no homo. [00:39:08] Speaker A: Yeah, he would have. [00:39:09] Speaker B: He definitely would have. He probably has. We haven't read that issue, as far as I know. But then this Beast just gets angry and he says, you hesitate, perhaps. [00:39:19] Speaker A: We have read other issues and we know other things about him. There's one thing in this issue that just is. I was like, what? Are you kidding me? We'll get to it. [00:39:27] Speaker B: We'll get to it. And so. And so to try to convince Spawn to give him this necroplasmic high five, the Beast bats Spawn away. So that way he has free range to vacuum tailor to him. Like, you can vacuum, vacuum, vacuums and fucking quotes. And so he grabs Taylor and then he breaks Taylor's arm. [00:39:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:39:51] Speaker B: Oh, it's so fucking. Oh. Oh, she's talking about the golden boy breaking his arm or breaking the golden arm. And then he's like, are you ready to obey now? Hell, Spawn and sponsors. [00:40:04] Speaker A: No, he doesn't say. [00:40:05] Speaker B: And the Beast is just like, well, okay. He loses the other arm. [00:40:10] Speaker A: He just smashes Taylor's other arm. This is up. He just made him a superhero, like, three issues ago. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Taylor passes out as both his arms shatter and flail like flags and the wind. And then. And then focus comes up and, like, runs right into the Beast's back and is like, ah, I break that spine. [00:40:28] Speaker A: And this Beast reads comic books. He goes a speedster. Interesting. It's like, so you read comics. This Beast talks like Todd McFarland. [00:40:39] Speaker B: And so. So the Beast just, like, punches Focus out of the way. And then he's like, is that all you've got, Spawn? [00:40:46] Speaker A: And then he matches his quickness. That comes important in the next panel. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Hot Hot's intent was to stage an ambush, but he'd forgotten that the creature had just displayed its speed. [00:41:02] Speaker A: Like, we forgot that he was like, so. [00:41:05] Speaker B: So the. The Beast just, like, moves out of the way of this hot harpoon. And the hot harpoon goes directly into focus. And Johnny, I will admit, the first time I read this, I didn't see the almost cost Focus his life. I saw just cost Focus his life. And I was like, hell, yeah. The Todd father realized he's spread too thin and is going to kill the focus book by killing Focus. Fuck yeah. But he's still alive. It almost cost him his life almost. I was. I was real excited about focus dying. Just so that way, we could clear the board a little bit. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know if that one. I don't. That's what I'm like, I'll believe when I see it. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah, that'll. [00:41:51] Speaker A: The focus series. I'm like, I don't know. I'll believe it when I see it. [00:41:55] Speaker B: I don't see how he's got time. How. Where's. When's he gonna do it? He's got to sleep sometime. [00:42:00] Speaker A: He's got to watch baseball. [00:42:02] Speaker B: Yeah. He's got a. He's got to do all those appearances that he does. He's got to take the time to meet the people. [00:42:08] Speaker A: He's got to give the stamp of approval on the King Spawn script. That's definitely real. [00:42:13] Speaker B: Definitely real. So then the Beast is. The Beast is just, like, picking up debris and throwing it around. He hits haunt with a big chunk of cement. And then Spawn's like, like, hey, why don't you pick on somebody your own size? And the Beast is like, sure. And Spawn says, if you can't get through me, it won't matter how many of them you kill. Which is a weird threat. Like that seems like he would then be motivated to just kill everybody and then kill Spawn afterwards. [00:42:45] Speaker A: We also skipped over if I injured you more. If you want Spawn, or can you give me a Necro touch? [00:42:51] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The opening reading. I was so drawn into the. The haunt, forgetting what he just saw. And the speedster. [00:43:06] Speaker A: Necro touch. Can I get a Necro touch? And Swan's like, no homo. [00:43:16] Speaker B: And so then the Beast is like, I will fight you, Spawn. If you're pet, stay out of this. And so he just, like, flings focus and the haunt and. And Taylor out of the way. And Spawn. Spawn just, like, nods to him like, you stay over there. [00:43:33] Speaker A: And they're just like, I just nodding like a space ghost animation. [00:43:39] Speaker B: And then. And then the Beast is like, hey, guess what? You Spawn. And it just goes. Just pummels him. Just pummels the. Out of him. And while Spawn is getting the shit kicked out of him, we get the pundits in a configuration I've never seen them in before. Johnny. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Yeah, they're at the. They're at the top of the page. [00:44:00] Speaker B: Going across the top, and they are literally just repeating the. Oh, my God. Metahumans exist. Oh, my God. We can't trust the government. Oh, my God. People died like that. They've been doing for the last three or four episode issues. [00:44:12] Speaker A: So, yeah. [00:44:14] Speaker B: Yep. And then we see the Scorched hanging around there. Jessica Priest being like, I can't see anything. And then Johnny. The glorious return of Dakota. [00:44:26] Speaker A: Dakota and Disruptor and Plague and Blood are there. [00:44:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:31] Speaker A: It's just everyone out here, he's like. And then everyone's there. They're all sitting there. [00:44:35] Speaker B: They're playing on Bill. [00:44:37] Speaker A: Cos, I mean, I'm talking. [00:44:38] Speaker B: I was. I was looking so hard to see if Sin was in there. I know. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. But, yeah, Fuck, yeah. We were just talking not too long ago about how we missed having Dakota around. [00:44:52] Speaker A: I'm glad she's back. [00:44:54] Speaker B: And then we cut to the Pentagon and they're just like, we don't know what fucking is happening. There's a force field. Shit's going crazy. We don't know where this beast came from. I hope anybody who's inside that force field is doing okay. And then we get a image of Haunt and Taylor and focused. Just absolutely broken. [00:45:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Han's all fucked up. [00:45:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Taylor's. [00:45:21] Speaker A: Both his arms are broken. [00:45:22] Speaker B: Taylor's arms are just like. And focus is just. He's a stuck pig, basically. [00:45:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:30] Speaker B: And then we cut back to the beast just continuing to kick and punch spawn all over the place. And then out of nowhere, the beast's arm is severed from its body. And we see Poacher has come in and he's like, hey, guess what? Fuck you, guy. [00:45:47] Speaker A: I'm Poacher. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Poacher. He's like, you're still driven by emotions like humans, and that is your weakness. And the beast is just like, yeah, whatever, and just regrows its arm. He regrows its arm, only to have it removed again. And Poacher's with the second arm. And then Poacher says, I'm done playing your game. It's time you left Earth. And then Poacher gives him a. Like, a psionic blast that he and his people have adaptively grown over the centuries, over thousands of years to ward off both heaven and Hell's influence. Because Poacher. Poacher and his ilk. Animals are animals. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Never. They never obeyed heaven or hell. [00:46:38] Speaker B: Yeah. They're meant to be wild, and wild they shall be. [00:46:43] Speaker A: I was like. I was like, they've never permanently. Heaven. Hell's never permanently recruited an animal. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Lions and tigers and elephants. No bears. [00:46:54] Speaker A: And then. [00:46:54] Speaker B: And then Poacher slices this beast right in two. And I like this. I like this page where the top panel is or there's the three panels on top. It's one side of the beast's face, Poacher the other side of the beast's face. And then you see right below it that the beast has been cleaved in two. And I think that's a fun little. That's a fun little thing. It's a fun little layout. They were having fun in the office that day, but poachers having destroyed this being's vessel, it's like a klaxon sound to Nyx. Like, nyx, guess what. Everybody up. Everybody up. Nicks, you might want to tell Spawn some things. And so, yeah, the beast, like, releases a whole bunch of necroplasm. And, like, Nix. Nix is basically on the phone being like, spawn, you son of a. And Spawn's like, you, Nicks, I shouldn't have put you on the throne. I should have done it myself. And it's like you only had, like, fucking cumulatively, like, 20 issues to fucking just be like, yeah, I'm gonna sit on the goddamn throne. Don't second guess yourself now, bud. And we learned that his choice of putting Nyx there instead will prove to be his greatest mistake ever. [00:48:06] Speaker A: This is bugged me because you hit your wife. [00:48:11] Speaker B: He did. He did indeed, yes. [00:48:14] Speaker A: Lest we forget Al Simmons. [00:48:16] Speaker B: For today, though, protecting Earth is all that matters. [00:48:20] Speaker A: I don't like that. I don't like that Nyx is, like, the biggest mistake ever. I like Nyx on the throne. [00:48:25] Speaker B: I think Nix. I think Nyx was the perfect choice. And the thing is that the throne corrupts whoever sits on it, so they just. They should deal with that instead of it being like, it was a bad choice. There's a little revisionist history from two years ago happening here. Yeah, it almost makes it feel like. Remember that big push we had to. Three hundred and fifty? Guess what? We're gonna erase it completely. Sin is back for a panel. [00:48:50] Speaker A: Send us back. [00:48:52] Speaker B: And then Nix, Nyx is like, when I'm done with you, every God and human you know will die, poisoned by my energy. And then, like, Nyx turns the beast into a fucking atomic elements, and it's just, like, giving off radiation. [00:49:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:13] Speaker B: And then Al says. [00:49:15] Speaker A: He gives him his necro touch, one might say. [00:49:18] Speaker B: And then Al, with his cape, being blown away by this nuclear energy, revealing a nice little set of Simmons buns, says, you want a piece of God? I'll give you a piece of God. And then, like, tingles up a bit of heaven energy that's been living inside of him since issue 250. And he summons the blade known as Sword of the Spirit. [00:49:47] Speaker A: I didn't know that sword had a name. [00:49:48] Speaker B: I didn't know that sword had a name either. I just thought it was the big fucking sword. Yeah, but apparently God gifted Al Simmons this sword when he was trapped in limbo. According to. According to this thing. Yeah. Interesting. And then Al Simmons says, let's see if you can handle it. And then slices the beast with this Heaven sword. And apparently the interactions of Heaven Sword and Hell being cause a great big explosion. [00:50:17] Speaker A: They crossed the streams. [00:50:18] Speaker B: They did. They sure did. And it triggers a massive reaction, letting everyone know that the battle that they thought was over wasn't. But it is now. That could have. That could have used another pass on Frey. [00:50:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:38] Speaker B: Absolutely. And Earth has been spared. But what if it's heroes? And then as the green smoke dissipates, the scorched come up and Jessica Priest says, ow. And then we get the neck meeting meter to end issue. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Where is he? [00:50:55] Speaker B: Where'd he go? He disappeared. He dawnedoed. He went goodbye. We said bye bye. [00:51:00] Speaker A: The Necro Necrome necroplasm meters at 3993. [00:51:04] Speaker B: It's very palindromic today. Yeah. Pretty cool. [00:51:08] Speaker A: Pretty cool. [00:51:08] Speaker B: Then we get the spawning ground presents fan art. And Thomas Healy's showing a little love to the. The Redditor side of the. The Spawniverse. Johnny. [00:51:20] Speaker A: That's nice. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Yeah. We got Redditor Aricus. Redditor Brandon storm. Redditor emphasis no. 6869. He forgot a 6. 7 in there. And Redditor spunked glitter Moin. There some cool stuff. We got a Violator. We got a like a little warhammer figure from Canada. Yeah. Oh, that is Malpulga, not Violator. Whoops. We got a super awesome spawn in front of a stained glass window. We got like some action figure photography turned into a cover. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. You need more sponsor universe. Johnny. Always don't miss these ongoing titles. [00:52:09] Speaker A: I wouldn't dream of it. [00:52:11] Speaker B: I dream of them, actually. Then we get the image. Classic Zed. And then Spawn. Call of Duty is the add on the back again. And that, Johnny, is spawn 367. [00:52:24] Speaker A: 6767. How do we get that far without mentioning it? [00:52:29] Speaker B: I don't know. Because we're old. [00:52:32] Speaker A: That's true. [00:52:33] Speaker B: And well, Johnny, after my little diatribe earlier about it being a very busy season for people in the dog rescue business, they're still very good dogs. So I'm going to rate them pretty highly. I'll rate them five woofs out of five. Whole bunch of woof woofs. [00:52:55] Speaker A: Five wolves. [00:52:56] Speaker B: Five wolves. Five wolves. [00:52:57] Speaker A: 5 wolves. [00:52:58] Speaker B: Whatever you want to say. [00:53:00] Speaker A: Wolves. [00:53:00] Speaker B: Mr. Mr. Woof. As Loxana Troy would say instead of Mr. Worf. Mr. Wolf. So that. That is a sweaty way of saying. Johnny. It's time to rate the puppies. [00:53:16] Speaker A: It's time to rate the puppies. First off, we had Medieval Spawn number three. It was pretty fun little entry. I like the story. It's just fun to see Medieval Spawn on an adventure. This foil. Richard, Robert. Richard, Richard. Richard. I don't know his. His little boy who's gonna ruin his world, but I was gonna say it's a fun adventure. You get demons, you get action. [00:53:46] Speaker B: It's very well constructed. It's. It's very hard to really say much more about it than just read it because it's a very well put together little fantasy story. Job funny. [00:53:56] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. I'm gonna give it four banshees. I'll give four monsters in my pockets out of five. [00:54:05] Speaker B: Hell yeah. It's pretty awesome. It's. It's a fun little story. It's fun and I like, I like how effortlessly Rory McConville does characterization. It's like we, we know these characters. We only just met them a couple issues ago, but they still feel very lived in already. It's. It's great. Rory McConville. I would take a class from Rory McGon McConville if you were to give class. I'm. I'm gonna give it for. For candle coverage. Tables in Bastion's cave. [00:54:40] Speaker A: Hideout there because very important for summoning that man. [00:54:43] Speaker B: That man just loves a candle. Look at that. [00:54:46] Speaker A: He does. He's like the fan of the opera. [00:54:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And like most of them are sitting on top of skulls. It's crazy. And sleep. He came to me. Oh, wait, it's. Did you freeze saying to me in dreams. He came. Right. The voice which calls to me. Yeah, it's a good book. Medieval Number three. Fun. [00:55:07] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a fun story. Next up, we had smorgasbord here. Spawn 367, which is just everything. [00:55:18] Speaker B: It's. They. They threw the spaghetti at the wall and if it didn't stick, they just glued it up there. So that way it did just hilarious. [00:55:30] Speaker A: There's this guy, little mini guy. He's wrecks everybody. And then for some reason, poacher comes in, like murders him. [00:55:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And then he explodes in an atomic. Little atomic explosion. And Spawn gets his, his, his named sword. As all people who are fans of the Lord of the Rings know that a named sword is very important. It's very important to have a named sword. [00:56:00] Speaker A: Just like in Diablo. [00:56:02] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:56:02] Speaker A: I don't know. I had a good time with this. It's funny to see how this hell on earth, slash, hell hath arisen story is evolving. Yeah. It's just wackadoo. Like, it's like Dakota just shows up for a second, and it's like, okay, yeah. [00:56:22] Speaker B: I mean, does it make any more sense than the preceding three or four issues? Absolutely not. No. [00:56:30] Speaker A: I'm just. I'm just in it. But, like. [00:56:32] Speaker B: Right. [00:56:32] Speaker A: I just, like, accepted it, and I love it. [00:56:34] Speaker B: It's one of those things that you just. You just got to let it wash over you. Don't. Don't think about it. Don't overanalyze it. Just be in it and have a good time. And it's disgusting. That's the fucking best part of it. This Brett Booth art is incredible, Jack. [00:56:49] Speaker A: Yeah, it is really good. Oh, Rex Taylor. It's so mean. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Oh, man. There's just, like, this. There's so much just, like, body stuff going on. I wouldn't call it body horror because it's not exactly body horror, but it's brutal. It's great. Haunt accidentally harpooning the wrong guy. [00:57:14] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Oh, boy. And they're getting wrecked by a giant slab of cement. [00:57:19] Speaker A: It's crazy. [00:57:20] Speaker B: It's just fun. This is fun, Just fun. [00:57:23] Speaker A: It's top father going wild. I had a good time reading it. Made me laugh. Mere Necro touch. I'm gonna give it 4.5 necro touches. [00:57:35] Speaker B: Excellent. Excellent. I'm. I had a good time reading it. I was so worried about reading it because I was. I just got into my head about it, and, like, I just stepped into it, and I was like, okay, this is what we're doing. And with that attitude, it's fucking great. I'm gonna. I'm gonna give it four appearances of Dakota because fuck yeah, Dakota with her little dinosaur. Hell yeah. [00:58:00] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. [00:58:01] Speaker B: That's those puppies rated, Johnny. [00:58:03] Speaker A: It is. [00:58:04] Speaker B: So you know what else is hell yeah, Johnny? [00:58:06] Speaker A: What's that? [00:58:07] Speaker B: The spawn. The spawnmunity that we found ourselves a part of on the Internets. [00:58:12] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. [00:58:13] Speaker B: Yeah. And joy of joys, Johnny. I didn't have to go too very far to find somebody to shout out in the spawn Unity this week, because, as it turns out, Redditor you, Aricus also has an Instagram so nice in the spawning grounds, they have a nice picture of Malboli. Here on their Instagram, they've got a Brock the Shock and Terry, but Terry Fitzgerald. Terry Fitzgerald. It's real good. And that's Arakis. A U R A K I S S Arcus. [00:58:50] Speaker A: All right, check them out. [00:58:51] Speaker B: Do it. Do it. They're fun. [00:58:53] Speaker A: While you're there, check us out on the Internet. [00:58:56] Speaker B: Check us out. [00:58:56] Speaker A: We're regarding Swampod on Instagram and we are. You can reach us@regarding swampodmail.com. [00:59:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:59:04] Speaker A: Every week I like to ask a question and feel free to email. But what I would like to ask is how are you enjoying the insanity that is this hell hath arisen Todd father led storyline? What do you think of it? At first I was like, I don't know. [00:59:19] Speaker B: Or since it did wrap up like six months ago, do you remember anything about it? [00:59:25] Speaker A: That's true. Oh my God, we're so far behind. [00:59:27] Speaker B: Does it have any staying power? [00:59:29] Speaker A: Does it have any staying power? [00:59:31] Speaker B: Johnny, One of these dogs just farted and it's terrible. [00:59:35] Speaker A: Oh my God. Yeah, that's my question. What do you think of this Hell hath arisen? Is it crazy? Do you not like it? Do you like it? I don't know. [00:59:46] Speaker B: I've definitely roller coastered on it. I was low, now I'm high. We gotta. [00:59:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:52] Speaker B: Just follow it where it goes. Just follow it where it goes. [00:59:55] Speaker A: Exactly. That's how I kind of feel. While you're looking us up, rightness, make sure to look up Lonnie Bones. Oh, yeah, he does our music. [01:00:04] Speaker B: Yes, it's Rooka Chit. [01:00:07] Speaker A: It's real good shit. [01:00:09] Speaker B: And speaking of real good shit, Johnny, I'd classify this as real good shit. This little show we do right here. This little. This little show as. As your dismissive uncle might call it. Do you still do that little show with your. With your little pal? [01:00:22] Speaker A: Yeah, he calls you a little boy. [01:00:23] Speaker B: Little boy. That little boy. [01:00:25] Speaker A: Do that show with that little boy. Yep, sure. [01:00:31] Speaker B: Do you. Why don't we do this again and do some more good shit? Let's do some more of this little show in about a week. [01:00:39] Speaker A: Welcome to the really big show. [01:00:42] Speaker B: What would you think about maybe doing a single issue for next week and doing the last of that Violator miniseries, Violator Number 6. [01:00:51] Speaker A: I would love to do that Hell yeah. Because he's a mean one, the Violator. [01:00:58] Speaker B: I was trying to think of what his Basil's. Basil doesn't really like. He's a mean one Basil. Oh, I guess that does work. [01:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:08] Speaker B: He helped lose so far. Attack. [01:01:12] Speaker A: If I choose between Him. That motherfucker over there. I'd choose that motherfucker over there. [01:01:21] Speaker B: Oh, boy. Wonderful. Excellent. Well, yeah. So Violator number six. Find yourself a copy of it, come back and listen to. No, you're not going to get confused with the previous Violator miniseries because the previous one only had three issues. So if you find a Violator 1993, number six, that's probably worth a lot of money. [01:01:44] Speaker A: You're rich. [01:01:45] Speaker B: Rich man. I need to reread that miniseries. It was way more fun than it needed to be. [01:01:50] Speaker A: It's really good. [01:01:51] Speaker B: It's very good. Yeah. Revilated number six. Come back and listen to us talk about it. It'll be a good time. Don't forget to like us, subscribe to us, rate us, tell your friends and family about us. You know, you're going out on the. Going out on the apps. You know, you're getting some drinks and some dates at the bar. Be sure the first thing you say to any prospective mate. Do you listen? Regarding Spawn. [01:02:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:18] Speaker A: The answer is yeah. [01:02:20] Speaker B: Yeah. The answer should always be yes. If they say no. Much like John Waters says, if you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck em. If you meet somebody and they don't listen to Respawn, don't fuck em. It's as simple as that. Hey, don't do it. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. [01:02:38] Speaker A: That's true. [01:02:40] Speaker B: No, but for real, you should probably fuck them anyway. As long. As long as they have books. I do agree with John Waters that if somebody doesn't have books, don't fuck them because they don't deserve. Yeah, they don't deserve you. You can do better than that. You are worth more than that. [01:02:52] Speaker A: You gotta have books. [01:02:53] Speaker B: You gotta have books. [01:02:55] Speaker A: I got books. I got comic books. I got instruction manuals. I'm a fucking library. [01:03:01] Speaker B: Johnny. Is. [01:03:02] Speaker A: You can rent. You can rent Mouse the Motorcycle for me. [01:03:06] Speaker B: Of the Bacon Rass film, the Brave Little Toaster, any of the 80s films that prominently feature unicorns, the Last Unicorn Legend. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Those are all at the library. Anyone else is at your local library, Spawn? [01:03:20] Speaker B: Yes, indeed, it sure is. [01:03:22] Speaker A: The more you know. [01:03:23] Speaker B: And on that, Johnny, since the library encompasses everything, I have nothing more to say. But may the scorch be with you. [01:03:30] Speaker A: And also with you, David. [01:03:32] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [01:03:33] Speaker A: Hell yeah. Let's go to the fucking library. [01:03:35] Speaker B: Dude, I'd fucking love to go to the library. Let's go do it. [01:03:37] Speaker A: Okay. I'm probably gonna fall asleep. So it's a perfect place to fall asleep. [01:03:41] Speaker B: Perfect place to fall asleep. Hell, yeah. Especially when it's cold outside like this. Go warm up in the library. Take yourself a little nap. [01:03:47] Speaker A: Let's go. [01:03:48] Speaker B: Let's go. I feel like we should cut in like a PBS library card. There's. There's definitely an Arthur song about library cards, isn't there? [01:03:58] Speaker A: Probably. I don't know. See? What a wonderful kind of day.