Episode 168 - Deadly Tales Of The Gunslinger 10 and Gunslinger 47

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I don't have a pulse. Not anymore. Good evening and welcome to Boss Nas. I'm Boss Nas today. Good evening and welcome to the Malibu. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best, most bestest, funniest podcast hosted by Gungans Me. See your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:58] Speaker B: And Misa, you're a bomb bag. Co host, David Williams. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Oh, bomb bag co host. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Did you also get that Jar Jar one shot this week? [00:01:07] Speaker A: I did not. I might have to pick it up. [00:01:09] Speaker B: It's. It's fucking good. It. It redeems. It redeems our Gungan boy Johnny. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Redeems him. [00:01:15] Speaker B: It redeems him for the, like, literally, it starts off with being like, oh, shit, I gave the. I gave the chancellor supreme powers emergency powers. And then by the end, he's like, I know exactly what I did. I'm gonna fix it. [00:01:32] Speaker A: Does he? No. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Yeah, he meets the. He meets the Ahmed Best Jedi. [00:01:39] Speaker A: Oh, really? Keller and Beck. [00:01:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And he was. He was a co. How do I [00:01:45] Speaker A: know his name, Johnny? [00:01:47] Speaker B: Because you're a Star wars nerd, that's why. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Keller and Beck. [00:01:50] Speaker B: You feel you. You. You say. Put that right in my veins right here. Just cook it up like a nice little, nice little bit of heroin. Just a little Star wars win. And just. [00:02:01] Speaker A: They had the super bowl commercial for the Mandalorian Grogu. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Oh, I didn't. I didn't. I was at Brandt's birthday party for the super bowl and missed. Missed all of it except for the last 30 seconds of the halftime show. [00:02:17] Speaker A: How dare you. [00:02:19] Speaker B: I was really pissed that I missed it because the last 30 seconds was pretty fucking awesome. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it's great. [00:02:24] Speaker B: He was doing his. His Yakko Warner impression listing off all the countries in the Americas. It's pretty great. Celebrate. Celebrating the birthday of a friend. It was way better than football. [00:02:35] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:02:38] Speaker B: like, universally. I heard it's a good. It wasn't a good game. It's a good thing. [00:02:41] Speaker A: It wasn't a good game. [00:02:43] Speaker B: I saw the ending score. I can tell when a good game is not good. [00:02:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it was not good. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Super soup. The bowl. The bowl that is super is never really very super. It's always kind of boring. [00:02:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it's all for the pageantry. [00:02:57] Speaker B: It's all for the snacks, man. I love some Velveeta rotel dip, some fucking little smokies and barbecue sauce. [00:03:04] Speaker A: There's some classic super bowl snacks. [00:03:06] Speaker B: Oh, man. Up here, instead of. It's in Chicago. Instead of little smokies and barbecue sauce, it's frozen meatballs with a bottle of sweet baby rays and some grape jelly. And it sounds disgusting, but it is phenomenal. [00:03:21] Speaker A: I've never had it with the grape [00:03:22] Speaker B: jelly with the grape jelly in it. It's great. It's great. It's very good. [00:03:26] Speaker A: You dip it in the grape jelly. [00:03:28] Speaker B: No, you just. You mix it all together in a crock pot and you let it simmer. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:03:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So the. The grape jelly is part of the sauce. You don't. You don't even know it's grape jelly while you're eating it. It's great. I would recommend that. Yeah. [00:03:42] Speaker A: Sounds good. [00:03:43] Speaker B: The problem is you then eat like 40 of them and you're like, oh, boy, how many meatballs did I eat? Don't go to the doctor the next day. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Don't go to the doctor any day. That's what I've learned. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Or if you do go to. Go to a nice diner afterwards, like a Waffle House, and eat. Eat your entire body weight and breakfast foods. Yeah, that's the. That's the healthy way. [00:04:07] Speaker A: I always go to McDonald's after I go to the doctor. Nice. [00:04:10] Speaker B: That's a good one. That's a good one. The. The problem I have is I can never make up my mind in McDonald's for breakfast items, because that's the best McDonald's. And so I end up spending, like, 20 bucks because I gotta get everything. And so if I do it at work, I can then take all the things that I don't end up eating and being like, hey, everybody, I brought in McDonald's, and with the app. It's stupid. It's stupid. Cheap. With the McDonald's apple. If you're going to McDonald's and you don't have the McDonald's app, what are you doing? [00:04:37] Speaker A: You gotta use that app. [00:04:37] Speaker B: You gotta get that app. I understand that they are stealing or not stealing there. We are giving them our data so that way they can better advertise to us. But fuck, man, it is great deals. [00:04:49] Speaker A: It's great deals. [00:04:50] Speaker B: Great deals. Great deals. Good food. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I like McDonald's breakfast. [00:04:55] Speaker B: It's good. It's good. Like a sausage biscuit with strawberry jelly on it. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Yeah, the biscuits with jelly are good. I like the egg McMuffin too. Or I guess the sausage McMuffin. [00:05:04] Speaker B: I mean, nice. I mean, the fucking McGriddles is beautiful. [00:05:10] Speaker A: McGriddle's really good. [00:05:12] Speaker B: I. I'm sad that they don't do the breakfast all day now because getting a McDouble and a hash brown and just shoving the hash brown between the Meat patties. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:05:22] Speaker B: It was beautiful. [00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah. They only did that for a little bit. [00:05:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Covid killed it. Thanks. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Another thing bites the dust because of COVID [00:05:33] Speaker B: Sad. What are you gonna do about it, though? [00:05:37] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:05:38] Speaker B: I don't know. Maybe just get the. Get the jab. Get double jabbed. [00:05:42] Speaker A: No, I'll never get one again. [00:05:45] Speaker B: The. The MRNA vaccines knock me on my ass. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not. [00:05:52] Speaker A: I'm not in the recommended pool to get them. It's for, like, people 60 or older and people that are high risk. I'm not. I'm not recommended to get one. [00:05:59] Speaker B: I mean, I work on. Not to dox myself, but I work in a medical environment, so it behooves me to get all of the vaccines. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Possible you guys caused it anyway. [00:06:11] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:06:12] Speaker A: You work in the lab. [00:06:14] Speaker B: Just back in the. Just back in the lab being like, tweak, tweak, tweak. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You're like, let's get this pangolin to eat this bat. And then we'll fart out the COVID 19. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Little. Little. Do people know that they make Lego that are actually viral particles? And you could just. You could just sit back there and click them together all day. But if you make a bad one, whoo, boy, you better watch out. Yeah. You think stepping on one of those fuckers is bad? Imagine breathing one in. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Someone roasted up a pangolin, and they ate it raw. And that's how Covid happened. [00:06:44] Speaker B: Yeah. And then they. I don't remember all the fucking conspiracy theories. There's a lot. There's a fucking lot. Yeah. I mean, fucking. Just a whole bunch of people being together in a place. Something's gonna happen eventually. It's not gonna happen spontaneously, but that's just kind of the way things work. [00:07:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:07] Speaker B: It's like if you're looking for a bug, you flip over a rock. There's all the bugs. If you're looking for some sort of pathogen, you just look for a lot of people being together. There will be a pathogen. There's. [00:07:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:19] Speaker B: It's a sad fact of life if you're looking for a brain worm. I mean, I got a. I got a secretary of health. I can sell you. [00:07:26] Speaker A: He has one. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Yes. Oh, boy. Fucking brain worm McGee. [00:07:33] Speaker A: I can't believe it. [00:07:34] Speaker B: I can't believe it either, but that's the world we live in. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Luckily, we have things to distract us from the world, though. [00:07:42] Speaker B: Yeah, some good. Some good. Some good things. Yeah. Good. [00:07:46] Speaker A: Some peaks into Spawn's universe. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [00:07:50] Speaker A: They got Rid of the new you. Branding's not on these. I guess these aren't part of the new you. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Yeah, true. [00:07:55] Speaker A: They only put it on the. The spin offs. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Yeah, because these are these. The one of these is a core four. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Did the Deadly Tales ever have the new you marketing? Yeah, because it's been on the. The new you advertisement. [00:08:09] Speaker A: I don't know if it had it. I don't know if it had the little. The little thing in the corner. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Like, you know, I could very easily go look it up, but you know, I'm already sitting. [00:08:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:19] Speaker B: I'm a tired boy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Johnny, what is this tired boy doing here? [00:08:26] Speaker A: We are here because we are respawn or each week we need two issues from Spawn's universe. Except when we don't, this week is no different. We have two issues from the western side of Spawn's universe. Exactly. My dad was singing along to that. Like that model commercial that uses the Good, the Bad and the Ugly music, though. And I was like, that's good. The Bad, the Ugly. He's like, no, it's not. I was like, yeah, it is. He was like, really? I was like, yes. [00:09:07] Speaker B: And then you had to watch the Good, the Bad and the Ugly? [00:09:09] Speaker A: I wish. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Oh, that seems. That seems like the easiest sell in the world. Hey, dad, you want to watch the Good, Bad and the Ugly? Sit your ass down right now. [00:09:17] Speaker A: Got 2 hours and 45 minutes. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Or is he. Or is he too busy doing skeletons somewhere else? [00:09:24] Speaker A: Skeletons? [00:09:25] Speaker B: Did he. Didn't he do a skeleton display for Halloween? Didn't you have to help him move a giant skeleton? [00:09:30] Speaker A: Yeah, but what. That doesn't, like, define him. He just did a skeleton for Halloween. [00:09:36] Speaker B: I don't know, Johnny. How. I know a lot of people whose skeletons are their personality. Maybe your dad's one of them. [00:09:42] Speaker A: No, he just has one. And this week we are bringing you Deadly Tales, the gunslinger number 10. And regular gunslinger 47. [00:09:54] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. Hard to believe it's been 47 issues, Johnny. We've been there since the beginning. [00:09:59] Speaker A: It really is hard to believe. I was thinking about that again. Long in the tooth, those spin offs. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Yeah. It's good to see though. We love to see it. [00:10:09] Speaker A: We love to see it. No sign of stopping. [00:10:12] Speaker B: There's no earthly way of knowing, Johnny, which direction they are going. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Is it raining? [00:10:19] Speaker B: Is it snowing? Is a gunslinger kablowing? Stupid Willy Wonka with his creepy ass. Shit. That motherfucker. What is he up to? Why was he doing that? What a weird guy. [00:10:35] Speaker A: Killing those kids. [00:10:37] Speaker B: I mean, Like, I get it, but there's. There's some thoughts that should say thoughts and never become action. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Yeah, he's a murderer. [00:10:49] Speaker B: Yeah, straight up. Then he's. He's dragging those Oompa Loompas in with him. They're just innocents. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Many OSHA violations. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Oh, man. Not to mention the fucking FDA audit that would go on. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Did you say it's like a chocolate river? And that's how you make his chocolate? [00:11:08] Speaker B: You're telling me that this is just a river of chocolate that is open and uncovered and kids are sticking their [00:11:14] Speaker A: dirty German kids are sticking their dirty hands in and get stuck in pipes. [00:11:19] Speaker B: You just got. You just got geese laying around doing their stuff, man. [00:11:24] Speaker A: In the book, those are squirrels. [00:11:26] Speaker B: I recently learned what a bean feast was. Johnny, do I want to know? Apparently a bean feast, it's usually just. It's kind of like a non specific celebration. It's usually just like. It's a. It's like it's the equivalent to a pizza party in America. It doesn't necessarily have to be beans. They just call it a bean feast. Okay, so like somebody did a good job and you want to, you know, celebrate them, but not celebrate them too much because celebrations are expensive. Bean feast. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Okay. They have jelly beans at it. [00:12:03] Speaker B: I mean, I'm sure you can have jelly beans in your bean feast. I mean, I wouldn't. [00:12:09] Speaker A: British, I imagine they have like hard boiled eggs, like pickles. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Probably that's all you get. [00:12:13] Speaker A: Probably beans, pickle, pickles. Onion. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Or they got a piccol. O piccol. I love piccolo. Or they got like fried fish. [00:12:24] Speaker A: Yeah, British love that. [00:12:27] Speaker B: I love food. They got jellied eels. [00:12:30] Speaker A: You got a jelly deal today. [00:12:33] Speaker B: So gross. So gross. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Is that a real thing? [00:12:37] Speaker B: Jellied eels? Yeah, it is. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Sounds gross. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Yeah, Well, I mean, at a certain time you just kind of pulled whatever came out of the river and you ate it because that's what you had to eat. You got to make them. You got to make them last somehow. [00:12:52] Speaker A: Jelly. Those eels. [00:12:54] Speaker B: Oh, oh, oh. [00:12:57] Speaker A: Is it like a savory jelly? [00:13:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. I guess it's kind of an American equivalent would be aspic, where it's just like you add some gelatinous stuff to it, and so it's literally just eels that are goop. So that way they stay fresh a little longer and it, it looks horrid. And by all accounts, unless you're like 75 years old, it tastes nasty. But I'm sure if there were a looby's in. In England that there would be some old lady that her favorite jellied eels come from Lubies. [00:13:37] Speaker A: You gotta get the jelly deal. That's fine. [00:13:41] Speaker B: Man, I would. I would do something awful to go to a Lubies right about now. Really get myself a Luan platter. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Well, we got a plattering of spawn. [00:13:53] Speaker B: We got. [00:13:53] Speaker A: We got buffet, we got the two meats. [00:13:57] Speaker B: Maybe a little veg. [00:13:58] Speaker A: We have the meats, yeah. Gunslinger deadly tales number 10. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Even this is 10 issues in already. It's beyond 10 issues. It's from October. It's been almost a year. [00:14:10] Speaker B: Oh, geez. Yeah, man, I think it's been over a year. See, I think it started December of 24. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Oh my God. [00:14:19] Speaker B: Boy, man, it's been a long time since we talked to Mark then. Since we talked to Mark on issue one. [00:14:25] Speaker A: Yeah, sure has been. [00:14:28] Speaker B: Yes indeed. It's been a couple of minutes. [00:14:33] Speaker A: We always start with the covers. [00:14:35] Speaker B: Yes, we do. [00:14:36] Speaker A: I have the A cover. [00:14:39] Speaker B: Nice. Man, Marco Falia does such a good cover. [00:14:44] Speaker A: Speaking of good, the Bad and the Ugly. It's very good. The Bad, the Ugly esque. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Yeah, you got that. That old mission in the background there. [00:14:54] Speaker A: Some guys are digging a grave or two. Or a mass grave maybe. [00:14:58] Speaker B: I don't think that's enough grave yet, Johnny. I think they still have a while to dig. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a lot of dead bodies there. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Oh boy. [00:15:06] Speaker A: And gunslinger's just tipping his hat and walking off into the sunset. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Oh, and it's got that great sort of golden color palette. It's beautiful. Yeah. It's not an homage, is it? Doesn't look like an homage. [00:15:20] Speaker A: I don't think so. [00:15:21] Speaker B: That would be a great fucking poster for a western though, you know? Yeah, yeah. Well, Johnny, I have the B cover. I have the John McCrae cover. Surprising absolutely no one. Because I fucking love John McCrae. [00:15:36] Speaker A: Oh, that's cool. [00:15:36] Speaker B: It's just Gunslinger with a whole bunch of arrows in him. And he's climbing up a hill and shooting his. Shooting his six shooter. [00:15:45] Speaker A: That's exactly what I was thinking of. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Stealing the young girls hearts. Just like Gene and Roy singing those campfire songs. Oh, it should have been a hobby. [00:16:03] Speaker A: It's Tobias. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, but hobby fit with the meter better. But yeah, it's good. And it's. It's the John McCrae goodness. If you like the John McCrae goodness, which I personally do. Yeah, yeah. Gotta pop that sucker open, Johnny. [00:16:21] Speaker A: Yes, we get to give credits where credit is due. And this has a title. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I Was so excited to see the title. Yeah, I'm glad they're bringing that back. [00:16:33] Speaker A: It's far from the sun spelled S [00:16:35] Speaker B: O n. And they're underground. So they are also far from the [00:16:40] Speaker A: S U n the double entendre. We have script plot by Jimmy Palmiotti, art by Dudu Pansika. [00:16:49] Speaker B: It's fucking great. [00:16:51] Speaker A: Inks by Julio Ferreira. Also very great colors by Ulysses Arreola. [00:16:56] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Lettering by Tom Wojkowski. We already covered the covers. [00:17:01] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:17:02] Speaker A: Creative Director is Todd McFarlane and editor in chief is Thomas Healy. [00:17:06] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:17:08] Speaker A: Previously in Deadly Tales of the Gunslinger, the gunslinger's companion, Ryder become trapped under a mountain of rubble. I mean, that's literally what happened. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Yeah, true, true. More to it, that's like the last two pages of the last issue. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:27] Speaker B: There's nothing. No mention about kids going missing. About it being, you know, epidemic. [00:17:34] Speaker A: Right. [00:17:35] Speaker B: About little girls being stolen from their rooms. Creepy. [00:17:38] Speaker A: You know what's creepy, David? Kids. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:42] Speaker A: I was at Chili's last night with Tom. [00:17:44] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. [00:17:45] Speaker A: And he came back from the bathroom. He looked. Terry, he looked like dead pale. I was like, what happened in the bathroom? He was like, laughing, but he was like, I just saw the weirdest fucking thing. While he was in a urinal, like, eight year old boy came up next to him, grabbed the, like, lily pad, like, drain cover from the urinal and put it into the pooping toilet and then left without washing his hands. So we told the manager, because we. Freedom. I clogged the toilet. We were like, hey, this kid just did this in the bathroom. Just a heads up. [00:18:21] Speaker B: Wow, man, [00:18:25] Speaker A: what a psychopath. This kid. We saw him sitting there little. We were like, yeah, we should go expose him to his parents. [00:18:36] Speaker B: I have. I have done some stupid ass in my life, but never have I reached into the urinal to grab the piss mat out of it. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Yes. And he put it into the pooping toilet. [00:18:48] Speaker B: That's insane. [00:18:51] Speaker A: It didn't wash. His hands went back to the stable. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Oh, so gross. That kid is gonna be the source of the new coveted Johnny. [00:18:58] Speaker A: That kid's gonna be a serial killer. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Oh, that's so gross. [00:19:04] Speaker A: What the hell is he thinking? [00:19:06] Speaker B: I mean, why can't. Why couldn't he have just done the regular kid thing where he walks up to the urinal and just like throws his pants all the way to the ground to pee? [00:19:15] Speaker A: Right? [00:19:18] Speaker B: That's where I was. That's where I thought that story was going. No, I did not like where that story went. Johnny. [00:19:25] Speaker A: He was like, the kid From Problem Child. [00:19:26] Speaker B: The movie. Oh, geez. [00:19:29] Speaker A: Causing problems. [00:19:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe we should call him Andy and sick Chucky after him. [00:19:36] Speaker A: We should. [00:19:37] Speaker B: He just gives him an actual reason. [00:19:41] Speaker A: Trying to fill a Chili's with poop. [00:19:43] Speaker B: How was it? I haven't been to a Chili's in a while. I remember liking Chili's. [00:19:46] Speaker A: Chili's is great. [00:19:47] Speaker B: Are you kidding? Yeah. [00:19:48] Speaker A: Affordable. Delicious, man. [00:19:50] Speaker B: I like to get in. I like. They still have the Caesar salad because that shit was good. [00:19:54] Speaker A: I'm sure they still have a Caesar salad. I didn't notice. [00:19:58] Speaker B: Okay. Also, Southwest egg rolls. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. That's the good stuff. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. Gotta get those Southwest eggs with that, [00:20:04] Speaker A: like, avocado ranch or whatever it comes with. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, man, that shit's good as hell. [00:20:09] Speaker A: It is good. [00:20:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, you know what else is good as hell, Johnny? This image of Gunslinger hanging from the rope, holding onto Ryder. A bunch. A whole bunch of pointy rocks in the cage. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Stalactites or stalagmites. I don't remember. [00:20:25] Speaker B: Mites. Stalactites stick tight to the ceiling. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Oh. [00:20:30] Speaker B: Slightly. Remember? Okay. There you go. You're welcome. [00:20:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll never. I'll never forget that now. [00:20:36] Speaker B: You'll never forget it. Wanda said that to me once, like 12 years ago. And I haven't forgotten it. [00:20:43] Speaker A: I'll never forget. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Yeah, just like 9 11. 911 and stalactite sticking tight to the top. [00:20:50] Speaker A: Never forget two things you'll never forget. [00:20:53] Speaker B: Well, I guess three things, technically. [00:20:56] Speaker A: What's the third thing? [00:20:58] Speaker B: Look, you got the two towers. [00:21:00] Speaker A: You got to remember them both. And Building 7. Don't forget about Building 7. Of the Pentagon, David. [00:21:08] Speaker B: Pentagon. [00:21:09] Speaker A: The United 93. [00:21:11] Speaker B: Oh, boy. And that geese. That fucking dive bombs. Captain Sully, the goose. But Speaking of United 93, Johnny, we've got potential catastrophe here between Gunslinger and Ryder. [00:21:26] Speaker A: We've got a conspiracy and those people are still alive, Is that what you're saying? [00:21:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rope. Rope. Not hold on to rock like that, Johnny. It just doesn't work. But. But, you know, they're stuck there. Gunslinger Tobias can't climb with one hand. And he can't just let Ryder go because he'll get impaled on some rocks. Could you imagine, Johnny? He's getting impaled on some rocks. I mean, I can't think of anything more spawned than somebody getting impaled on some spikes. [00:21:52] Speaker A: But, yeah, like a Mortal Kombat, that one level. Or if you knock them off, they get impaled. Strikes. [00:21:57] Speaker B: Yeah, man. So they're sitting there, they're Trying to try to figure out what to do. And Tobias is like that glowing water over there. Do you see it? And Ryder says, it's far away. And then we cut back to the house and we see. Who is this guy? This is the Sheriff. [00:22:15] Speaker A: Sheriff. This is the Sheriff. [00:22:17] Speaker B: The Sheriff and dynamite and Ziania. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Yep. [00:22:24] Speaker B: And the Sheriff is like, oh, I heard a collapse. I'm gonna go in this hole. You guys stay here. And then we cut back to Tobias and Rider doing the swing back and forth. And then he's trying to swing him [00:22:37] Speaker A: to the water so he can safely land. [00:22:39] Speaker B: And he just tosses Tobias basically tosses him in there. And Ryder makes it safe. And then. And then Tobias is like, okay, my turn. And then right before Tobias starts swinging again, the sheriff comes down with his little lantern and he's like, no need, boys. I got some more rope for you. So the sheriff drops the rope so that Tobias can climb down and not get impaled on the rocks or be wet because he's in the pond. [00:23:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:23:06] Speaker B: And the sheriff climbs down himself too. And then is like, okay, well, rope's no good. We can't go up that way. So I'm down here with you now? [00:23:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm now stuck here. [00:23:15] Speaker B: Why didn't you just stay up there and pull him up? Come on, bud. [00:23:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know what he's thinking. [00:23:20] Speaker B: Shit. I think he's in cahoots with the beast at the end of the book. And so Ryder's like, so we're stuck. And then the Sheriff's like, I feel like I should probably tell you boys a secret that I didn't tell you before. We came down into these caves here. You see lots of. Lots of kids gone missing down here. And then Johnny, we get a story that I don't know what the story is because my issue of the comic has no narration. It's all just black bars. [00:23:53] Speaker A: There's black bars. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Musta must have gotten cash. Patel got his dirty little hands on this and couldn't close his eyes and [00:24:02] Speaker A: was just like, ah, yeah, it's fucked up that you gotta. Maybe all B covers are like that. [00:24:08] Speaker B: I would assume, probably. Because if yours has the narration and mine doesn't, and the only difference we have is really the covers because I think they're all printed at the same factory in Canada. Yeah. Or even if they're printed at different factories, I find it highly unlikely that we are in different zones enough for the there to be different factories for us. But from what I can gather without the narration Due to this good doodoo pansika art that there is. So there's the miners trying to do some minor stuff, maybe looking for some children. And there's this grumpy old miner that everybody is suspicious of. And then the sheriff's wife is very like, our kids are in there. They got our kids in there. And. And the sheriff just doesn't believe her. And then she goes crazy, being like, I know my kids is in there. I know my kids is in there. And then late one night she sneaks out of the house and goes up to the old. The old grumpy miner that everybody's got a problem with with and says, take me to my kids. And then sheriff wakes up in the middle of the night, finds the note she wrote she left saying, I'm gonna go hold this old man at gunpoint and get some kids. And then the sheriff rides his horse in to try to save the day and hangs out with a whole bunch of the other miners being like, I think they go this way, we're looking for them, let's go this way. And then while he's looking for his child and his wife, he gets caught in a cave in. And then just barely makes it out alive. Yes. And then says, I swore to never go back there again. How close was I? [00:25:56] Speaker A: You're very close. [00:25:57] Speaker B: Nice. What is this old guy? What is this old guy's deal? [00:26:00] Speaker A: So the old guy is named Moses Nash and his wife just thought there's old man that. Yeah, she thought his wife is dead certain he has something to do with the disappearances. [00:26:14] Speaker B: Okay, so. So not only is was the sheriff's child lost, but an old miner and his wife also. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Yes. Got lost and they searched. It wasn't just that day they were searching. They searched for two months. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Two months. Dang. Yeah, two months. Two months after the wife disappeared. [00:26:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Dang. And then, and then while. While the sheriff is telling this story to Tobias and Ryder, some glowing eyes come up behind them and Tobias is like, shit, we're not alone. And then there's just a tower of spiders, Johnny. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Tower of big spiders. [00:26:53] Speaker B: Oh boy. So they just start blasting and they're shooting these spiders, they're shooting them dead. And then they all run out of bullets. And Tobias says, well, guess what, no time to reload. You two boys, you get the fuck out of here, I'll follow behind. And then Tobias gets this really cool little like close up view on his eyes that are necroplasming and he says, go. Then we get a little flashback to young Tobias, being handed a knife by some stranger, says, this knife, Tobias, use it only when necessary. And then we cut back to the present, and Tobias decides it is necessary and grabs the knife, pulls out the knife, and he just wails on these spiders. He's just. He's. He's basically Darth Vadering at the end of Rogue One. In here. [00:27:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:46] Speaker B: It's pretty great. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah, he's just slicing up some spiders. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it's real good. It's real good. There's not much to say about this except for, you should buy the issue and look at these pictures, because Tobias slicing up some spiders is fucking awesome. [00:28:03] Speaker A: It's pretty cool. [00:28:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. And then afterwards, Tobias jumps in the water and swims down. And then he sees that there are three caves that he could take, but which one? And then he notices that the sheriff has left his badge behind as, like, a breadcrumb. [00:28:25] Speaker A: Pretty smart. [00:28:27] Speaker B: And then we cut back to the house where Dynamite and Ziannia are there. And Dynamite's like, you think we should go down there? Zion is like, absolutely not. Yeah, well, I'm gonna go to the. I'm gonna go to the silver mine. So Tata. And he's like, hey, wait. Hey, wait, hold up. And so they're walking through town to get to the mine, and. And Dynamite's trying to tell Zianna that, you know, his brothers were bad dudes. But he's not a bad dude. I mean, look at him. He's like, I'm not a bad dude. He says he refers to some people that he likes that. I'm not going to say what he said because it makes me feel disgusting to say it. So let's just say enslaved railway workers are people that he has befriended, I [00:29:13] Speaker A: would say, because it reminds me of a great part of Wild Wild West. This guy comes up on Will Smith. He does like this, like, kung fu stuff, and he goes, I learned that from a Chinaman. Then Will Smith kicks in the balls, and he goes, I just made that up. [00:29:31] Speaker B: Oh, man. If they released Wild Wild west this summer, it would. It would do so much better than it did. I'm craving that sort of nonsense. [00:29:43] Speaker A: I learned that from a Chinaman. I just made that up. [00:29:52] Speaker B: And so. So Dynamite and Ziana get close to the. To the mine, and Dynamite's like, ah, wolves and the bay. The wolves are supposed to be scared of people. They must be sick. I'm gonna shoot him. And Zhanga's like, no, no, no, no. [00:30:05] Speaker A: They're with me. [00:30:06] Speaker B: They're with me. And she Goes up and she sees the wolves. And they're like, we're going this way, lady. And then Dynamite's like, oh, shit. I don't think I trust no wolves. And the best line in the issue is just Synia going, shush, shush. Just zip it, little boy. Then we cut back to the. The caves, and Tobias is coming out of the water. And the sheriff is like, ah, hey, cool, you didn't die. Nice. Sheriff is mighty impressed with Tobias's fighting skills. Tobias says it is a necessity. And then they take some time to reload their guns. And then, like, conveniently immediately after they finish reloading their guns, Tobias says, hold on a second. We're not alone again. And then, like, they can't see, obviously. It's very dark. And they aim. They start looking towards one end of the tunnel. And Ryder's like, I can't make out what's there. And Tobias says, doesn't matter. Just kill it. [00:31:06] Speaker A: Just kill it. [00:31:07] Speaker B: They start shooting the blade. Blame Blam. And this big old, like, fucking sand worm comes out, Dune style. Yeah, they walked too rhythmically. And it's just like. [00:31:18] Speaker A: This is really specific, but it reminds me of in the super NES game Super Star wars, which was based on the first movie, but for some reason, one of the early bosses, when you're playing on Tatooine, is the Sarlacc pit. But it comes out like a big worm and, like, tries to eat you. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:31:36] Speaker A: It looks like this. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Interesting. We stand a Sarlacc pit here. [00:31:42] Speaker A: Great Pit of Carcoon. [00:31:45] Speaker B: And so, you know, I mean, these boys are getting fucked up by this big, nasty worm straight from the pits of hell. The worm smashes Tobias against the wall and knocks Tobias out. And then. Silence. Next issue, Born to Die. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:32:11] Speaker B: Oh, boy. And then we get gunslinger skull to end the issue. Man, this has turned from a western into a Dungeons and Dragons adventure. Johnny. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah. You got the team. You got crazy monsters attacking them. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, this is just like monster after monster after monster. It's wild. [00:32:30] Speaker A: It's like Space Jam up in here. [00:32:33] Speaker B: Space Jam. The monster. They stole that. They stole the talent from the Wild West's most most prolific sideshow. They stole the Annie Oakley, the Billy the Kid. [00:32:46] Speaker A: They're not even monsters. They're aliens. It's just called the aliens. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Yeah, but, I mean, monstars is a better pun than aliens. [00:32:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess you're right. [00:32:56] Speaker B: Unless they're. Unless they're aliens that make pretzels. And then they could be the aliens. [00:33:02] Speaker A: What the hell? Dude? That's so stupid. [00:33:09] Speaker B: Oh, now I want to write a story about aliens that come to Earth to try to perfect Earth's. Earth's crafts. And one set of them decides that they want to get in on that mall pretzel money. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Want to make hot dog pretzels and [00:33:26] Speaker B: little, little nuggets that they dunk in nacho cheese. [00:33:30] Speaker A: Auntie Anne's is good, though. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Oh, it's good as hell. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Good ass pretzel. [00:33:35] Speaker B: Oh, the jalapeno cheese pretzel is hard to beat. [00:33:39] Speaker A: I've never had it. [00:33:41] Speaker B: Oh, especially. It's. It's especially hard to beat because it's almost always there because not too many people get it because they think it's gonna be spicy, but it's good. Okay, good one. Get the jalapeno cheese pretzel at Auntie Anne's. I promise you won't be disappointed, provided you like jalapenos. If you don't like jalapenos, don't do [00:33:58] Speaker A: it next time at the mall. I got one. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Hell yeah. Very exciting. I look forward to hearing your snack report on that. [00:34:08] Speaker A: I guess they probably have it at the Woodland Hills Mall. They probably have it. Auntie Hands. [00:34:12] Speaker B: I haven't been there in two decades, so I wouldn't know. I hear they have a big ass sports store in there, though. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Yeah, Shields. It's awesome. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Yeah, heard that. It's basically like a bass pro shop just kind of like shoved into the mall. [00:34:27] Speaker A: It's just bigger. And they have a Ferris wheel. [00:34:32] Speaker B: Wild. Like in the store in the mall [00:34:34] Speaker A: in Shields, they have a Ferris wheel. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Wow. That's insane. [00:34:38] Speaker A: They have a shitload of guns in there, too. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I mostly know about it because I have a friend who says that they have very good deals on guns at that store. And that means he doesn't have to deal with the assholes at Dongs. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Hey, I work my dongs nice. [00:34:56] Speaker B: I always. I always had a little Dongs keychain on my keys growing up because my dad thought it was funny. And I liked the zebra. But. But yeah, apparently universally people know you only go to Dongs if you're desperate because the people there are awful. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Oh, really? It's a gun shop in Tulsa for those of you who don't know. [00:35:16] Speaker B: And their mascot is a zebra. [00:35:18] Speaker A: Yes, because you can kill a zebra with their guns. Yeah, legally. [00:35:23] Speaker B: And it's run by assholes. Then we got the new generation. New stories. New. You add Johnny. [00:35:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:30] Speaker B: And then we got the Image Classics ad. Then we got the Diablo 4 toy ad. [00:35:35] Speaker A: Oh, My God, man. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Look at him. And the toy ad on the back of the COVID Is that Mortal Kombat 1 sub 0. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Pretty sick. [00:35:43] Speaker B: Yeah. And that is Gunslinger Deadly Tales of the gunslinger. Number 10 challenge. [00:35:48] Speaker A: That is 10. [00:35:49] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. Perfect 10 with Bo Derek. [00:35:53] Speaker A: That was eight. Or was it called 10? [00:35:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it was just 10. Shit. Fuck. [00:35:59] Speaker A: It was just called 10. [00:36:00] Speaker B: Just called 10. It's running. It's a running gag, Johnny. [00:36:03] Speaker A: Yep. [00:36:06] Speaker B: Or Perfect 10 with Bo Diddley. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Perfect 10, Mr. Ed. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Perfect 10 ounces of peanut butter. [00:36:16] Speaker A: Who's Bo Diddley? [00:36:17] Speaker B: I'm about to look that up because I know the name, but I don't know. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Who is it? [00:36:22] Speaker B: Oh, he's American guitarist and singer, songwriter. Okay, well, Bo Diddley, he was a soul man. He didn't do Soul Man. [00:36:35] Speaker A: That was the Blues Brothers, duh. [00:36:37] Speaker B: He did. He did do a song called A Showman. Oh, he did a song called Gunslinger. Hell, yeah. [00:36:45] Speaker A: It's all coming together. [00:36:47] Speaker B: Everything's connected, Johnny. It's. It's all holistic. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Next up, we have gunslinger 47. Regular gunslinger. Hobby gunslinger. [00:37:14] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:37:16] Speaker A: Even though it's not regular gunslinger, because it takes place in the modern times. [00:37:20] Speaker B: Well, I mean. Modern gunslinger. Yeah, modern day gunslinger. Could you imagine. Could you imagine a. Let's just call him Roland Deschane walking down the street looking like a cowboy, shooting up the trains in New York City, hanging out with a very angry legless lady in a wheelchair? [00:37:40] Speaker A: You don't have to imagine it much longer. They're making that Dark Tower. He threatening to make that Dark Tower series. [00:37:44] Speaker B: The Mark. The Mike Flanagan one. Yeah, I'm down for it. I like Mike Flanagan. I would trust Mike Flanagan to at least do it. Well, he does have a problem with brevity in that. I don't think he's ever met brevity in his life. Yeah, sometimes it can be a slug. Like Midnight Mass. Midnight Mass was excellent, but Jesus fucking Christ could have used, like, 12 fewer monologues. Thank you very much. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:38:17] Speaker B: We get it. Everybody on the island's an atheist. Back to the story. [00:38:22] Speaker A: Back to the story, please. [00:38:25] Speaker B: But good show. Good show. [00:38:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:28] Speaker B: Like, did you ever see it? No, it's good. It's good. Cool. Yeah. But we gotta start with these covers of Gunslinger 47. Johnny. [00:38:37] Speaker A: Yes, I have the. A cover which has a demonic turkey on it. [00:38:42] Speaker B: Are you sure? Is that. It's a turkey and not a vulture or a buzzard? [00:38:46] Speaker A: It's a vulture. I know. [00:38:48] Speaker B: At first I thought it was a turtle. I was like, is that a turtle? Or a dinosaur. [00:38:52] Speaker A: No, it's a buzzard. Vulture. I think it's a buzzer. Buzzards. [00:38:57] Speaker B: This is the most hardcore gunslinger cover we have ever seen, Johnny. There's a skeleton hung up in a tree. There's a shit tons of buzzards. There's just skeletons everywhere. [00:39:08] Speaker A: There's like machinery. What is that in the background? [00:39:12] Speaker B: I can't tell. Is it like an oil oil derrick or something? Or like an oil well? I don't know, like an oil pump. [00:39:19] Speaker A: It might be. [00:39:20] Speaker B: Or is it supposed to be like a church? [00:39:23] Speaker A: Maybe a church. [00:39:25] Speaker B: And then out, out in the distance on a plateau. There's somebody watching. Just sitting on a horse. Watching. [00:39:33] Speaker A: Yes, it's pretty badass. It's by Francesco Mattina. I don't remember if I said that. [00:39:38] Speaker B: You did not say that. And it's thank you Francesco Mattina, for doing such a badass cover. Yes, I have the B cover. The mirror. Mirko. Yeah, Mirko Kolak cover. And it's just. It's very Simon by Simon Bisley. Bisley. The guy who. The guy who did somebody. Don't know what I'm talking about. But it's just the gunslinger. Very gritty, just like mean mugging it. And he's got his little chirrut. He's mostly in shadow. It's very Lobo. [00:40:11] Speaker A: I like the blue. [00:40:13] Speaker B: Very Lobo. Coated. Yeah, it's like there's some stars in the background. It's good. Hella good. Well, speaking of hella good, Johnny, we gotta hella give these good credits where they're due. So we pop this sucker open. [00:40:27] Speaker A: Pop it open. [00:40:28] Speaker B: Script plot by Todd McFarlane. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Yes we do. [00:40:32] Speaker B: We got art by Yildiray Sennaar. Hell yeah. Got color by Ivan Nunes, lettering by Tom Rozikowski. We done covered the covers. The creative director is Todd McFarlane. The editor in chief is Thomas Healy. Previously in Gunslinger. Javi, having been on the run, needs to find a place to lay low and heal. And Johnny, we open up. On my childhood just riding a bike through the middle of nowhere with a dog. Occasionally with a dog. It depended on if Romeo was off doing his own shit or not. [00:41:08] Speaker A: Okay. [00:41:10] Speaker B: That guy would come back when he wanted to. He never listened to nothing. But he was. He was a very good boy. Every time I had a nosebleed, he would sit right next to me. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Oh wow. [00:41:20] Speaker B: He would also try to eat my nose blood. But I'll forgive him cuz his dog [00:41:26] Speaker A: don't give the taste of blood. They become anthem man eaters. [00:41:30] Speaker B: But, but. So we Got this kid, this kid named Noah, just riding his bike, going to a few of his favorite spots. Yeah. [00:41:38] Speaker A: Why is that in quotes? It's, like, likely story. [00:41:44] Speaker B: So Noah's. Noah's bullied, and after school, he likes to escape to the woods with his dog and his bike. Whatever. [00:41:51] Speaker A: Everyone's bullying. Get over it, Noah. [00:41:54] Speaker B: And so it's Noah and Bradley. [00:41:58] Speaker A: Bradley's the dog. [00:41:59] Speaker B: Bradley the dog. And they're. They're going home after their adventures in the woods, and they're just walking on the streets. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. And at some. And then Bradley's just like. He says, that barn. I'm going to that barn. And Noah's like, wait, hey, don't go. So Noah goes to the barn. Going to a barn in the middle of nowhere, Johnny. It happens. I've done that. [00:42:23] Speaker A: I have trespassed, Leatherface. [00:42:26] Speaker B: So. So Noah goes in. He says, brady, Brady, you in here? And then he sees Brady laying next to this body just on some hay. [00:42:35] Speaker A: And it's recognized that it's Javi. [00:42:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And Noah's like, I'm pretty sure this man is dead. [00:42:42] Speaker A: He's like, this guy's. [00:42:43] Speaker B: He dead? Yeah. And he goes over, he says, hey, mister, you okay? Come on, wake up, mister. And then Brady's like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. And then after a minute, Noah's like, yeah, I think he's dead. Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. What's this over here? And he finds a shotgun on the ground. I like the quizzical look that Brady has. Like, what's that? So Brady picks it up. He's like, oh, this is cool. I've never seen one like this before. And it's a shotgun, and there are shells around him. So he picks up a shell. And then as he picks up the shell, we hear from off panel, you're gonna get hurt, boy. Now put the gun down, then get the hell out of here. Javi's awake. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Javi's away. [00:43:29] Speaker B: And Noah's. Noah's just like, the fuck you say? [00:43:34] Speaker A: I'm put. I'm gonna put urinal cakes in the toilet if I want to. You can't tell me shit, you know? [00:43:41] Speaker B: Noah's just there. And then Javi passes back out, and Noah's just like, brady, you stay here. You watch him. I'm gonna go get somebody. And then he gets on his bike, and he just huffs away. Then we cut to Wyatt's auto repair shop, and Wyatt's like, hey, Linda, just. Just. I'm Gonna leave you here. I'm gonna go do some stuff. You need anything? All right, cool. [00:44:02] Speaker A: Don't do any pills. [00:44:04] Speaker B: And so Linda's just like. She's doing the. She's doing the. Oh, fucking. The narcos. The narcos meme. Sitting around waiting. The Pablo Escobar. [00:44:16] Speaker A: Oh, yes. [00:44:17] Speaker B: And then she realizes, hey, this is a car service station. You know what you could steal from a car service station? A motherfucking car. So she steals a car, and she just drives like a bat out of hell. And it's just, like, sad and just driving around and doesn't know where she's going. Then car runs out of gas, and she's like, ah, fuck, I ain't got no phone. So she just sits there and is like. And then 40 minutes go by of her sitting on the side of the road, and she sees a car coming by, and she's waving it down. It turns out to be coppers, Johnny. [00:44:49] Speaker A: It's cops. [00:44:50] Speaker B: And they recognize her immediately from her fugitive posters. [00:44:58] Speaker A: Ah, that's the girl from the fugitive posters. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Oh, the scarecrows in this are ridiculous. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:05] Speaker B: And so they, you know, they come at her, guns drawn, tell her to get down, hands up, don't move or they'll shoot. And then we cut back to the barn, and Noah has brought somebody with him. It's a doctor. And the doctor sees Javi and is immediately just like, jesus fucking Christ. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Yeah. He's like, what the hell? [00:45:23] Speaker B: And it's like, I can't find a pulse on this man. I think this man is dead. And then we get the opening reading of Javi saying, he doesn't have a pulse. Not anymore. [00:45:34] Speaker A: Then we get a really weird explanation from Todd McFarland. It says, yes, I know he passed his medical test when he went to prison. So the reason he did that is because he can simulate a heartbeat when he needs to. And I was like, what? [00:45:49] Speaker B: Was that necessary to this? [00:45:51] Speaker A: Was that necessary to say, [00:45:55] Speaker B: well, now we know, Johnny. Now we know. They can refer back to it in future issues. And the doctor's like, noah, get behind me. If I say run, you run. But Brady. And Noah and Brady are both just like, nah, we'll. We'll stick around this guy. It's fine. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Brady can tell. He's a good guy. [00:46:14] Speaker B: Yeah. And the doctor's like, but. But he's dead. [00:46:19] Speaker A: He's dead. [00:46:21] Speaker B: What's wrong? [00:46:22] Speaker A: How is. [00:46:23] Speaker B: How was this? And Javi's like, I don't know, dude. [00:46:25] Speaker A: I can't explain it. [00:46:27] Speaker B: Then the doctor gets closer. He's like, wait, I've seen you. You're that man who shot that other man. And Javi's like, yeah, it was. It was a monster. I've been fighting these. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, he was a monster. [00:46:38] Speaker B: I like. I like how the doctor isn't like, 1861, you motherfucker. What are you talking about? Yeah, and he's just like, okay, Doctor. It's just like, okay, Noah, come on, we're going. And Noah's like, no. And doctor's like, yeah, we're. Come on, we're going. And Javier's like, I'll show you. It was a monster. And then [00:46:57] Speaker A: transforms. [00:47:02] Speaker B: Oh, my favorite little bit of meta commentary in this, Johnny. Most people are visual learners. In seconds, you can show them what would otherwise take too long to explain. Does the Todd father read his own writing? After he writes it, I feel like. I feel like if I were Thomas Healey, I would blow that word panel up, frame it, and put it in every room that Todd McFarlane ever goes in. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Yes. [00:47:44] Speaker B: Oh, good. Good. Shit. And so then, you know, Javi's, like, used up a lot of his energy just doing this little pageantry show. And the doctor's like, oh, oh. And then Javi's just like, oh, I'm dying. I'm dying. He tells them the stories about the angels and his. His quests to find his sister and how the whole world is in peril and how he has to bleed himself onto his. His bullets so that way he could kill the angels. And the doctor's just like, the. Am I supposed to do with this knowledge? [00:48:16] Speaker A: Yeah, what am I supposed to do here? [00:48:18] Speaker B: Why did you tell me this? I'm burdened with it. And Jav's like, yeah, just go do whatever you need to do. But wait, first. [00:48:24] Speaker A: First, wait. I sense something. Are you sick? [00:48:28] Speaker B: The doctor's like, yeah, I got cancer. And so Javi just goes. [00:48:32] Speaker A: He like, ET Touches his chest and cures his cancer. Ouch. I just give you more time. Maybe a year. [00:48:41] Speaker B: You seem like a good man. I'm sure your family would like to see more of you. So leave. Go see them. And then we just end on the doctor. Noah and Brady, leave us the fucking bar. Okay, we get a necrometer. Oh, boy, Johnny, that's low. [00:48:59] Speaker A: It's low. It's at 39-390-39. [00:49:02] Speaker B: Whoo, boy. [00:49:04] Speaker A: He's running out of juice. [00:49:05] Speaker B: Yeah, he's juiceless. He's running dry. He's running on empty. Then we get some spawning grounds. Presents Fan art. We got some Toy photography. Pretty cool. We got some cosplay action. Very nice. It's good. It's good as hell. Yeah, it's all good. I have that action figure, Johnny, with the horse. [00:49:29] Speaker A: You do? [00:49:30] Speaker B: Yeah. It's a good action figure. [00:49:31] Speaker A: It's a good horse. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Prominently displayed at work. Need more Sponsor universe, Johnny. Always don't miss these ongoing titles. The Core 4. Yeah, very exciting. Then we get the Image Classics ad again. And the back of the COVID ad is the Spawn Call of Duty ad. [00:49:51] Speaker A: They love the Call of Duty Spawn. [00:49:53] Speaker B: Yeah, they do. A lot of people do. Well, Johnny, that was Gunslinger 47. [00:50:00] Speaker A: Yeah, we breezed through that. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Yeah, sure did. [00:50:03] Speaker A: We don't have. [00:50:04] Speaker B: Yeah, there wasn't a lot. There was a lot there, Johnny. No, no. Well, as usual, Johnny, I am surrounded by sleepy dogs that are pretty good. They're doing pretty good. I'm sure one of them's gonna do something bad here in a second, though. But that's just a long winded way of saying, Johnny, that these are puppies that need to get raided. So rate these puppies. [00:50:28] Speaker A: It's time to rate the puppies. First up today we had gunslinger 10 deadly tales of gunslinger number 10. It's just kind of continuing that, like this arc about the town of Danzig and there are evil demons underneath. Yeah, it's fun. It was a Lesser Deadly Tales, but it was fun. It was just like a nice little adventure, but a fun little western adventure. [00:50:53] Speaker B: The. It's the Getting Lost part of the story. [00:50:55] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:55] Speaker B: So they're getting deeper and deeper, and then we'll get the. We'll get to see the glorious escape. [00:51:01] Speaker A: I really like seeing Doo Doo Pansika pop on there. Oh, and just to see different, you know, different take on the characters. We know it's always fun. [00:51:09] Speaker B: They're. They're so gooey. Yeah, it's some gooey stuff in here. It's wonderful. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I really enjoyed it. I'm gonna give it 4 out of 5 word bubbles that are empty for David. [00:51:26] Speaker B: So frustrating. So frustrating. How am I supposed to read a comic when there's no words? [00:51:30] Speaker A: What if you get a refund? What if this is. [00:51:35] Speaker B: What if this is. What if this is the only one? Yeah. What if Thomas Healy sends us a message that says that's the only one that has no word bubbles? [00:51:43] Speaker A: It's worth a million dollars. [00:51:44] Speaker B: If I got a million dollar comic book here, Johnny, you might. I could quit my job and do nothing but spawn podcasting. [00:51:51] Speaker A: Sounds good to me for like, six [00:51:53] Speaker B: months before I run out of money. But no, no, it's. It's good. It's good. It's very much a middle issue. Yes, I like it. The doodoo pansika art. Beautiful. I like where it's going. Having a good time. I'm gonna give it three and a half water towers outside of this house here. [00:52:16] Speaker A: You like a water tower? [00:52:17] Speaker B: I just. I just noticed that. Yeah, I like a water tower. They're fun. [00:52:22] Speaker A: So do Yakka, Wakko and Dot. [00:52:24] Speaker B: Well, they live at one side. I would assume they would. [00:52:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Next up, we had Gunslinger 47, a real kind of wacky one off where Javi, we learned, can fake his heartbeat if he needs to and can cure cancer if he wants to. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Well, I guess not cure fully, but at least delay. Give him. [00:52:42] Speaker A: Give him another year. Yeah. [00:52:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:44] Speaker A: Like, can you give me a couple more? Can you give me more than one? [00:52:48] Speaker B: I don't know, Johnny. You saw that same number I did. He. He's only got so many years. He can delay other people's cancer. He can't. He can't even mighty morphin into gunslinger mode without passing out. [00:52:59] Speaker A: Yeah, but we always love yild race and r. Art's cool. His. His, like, hobby, like, naked and beat up is really gnarly. Yeah, it's just like a weird, like, saccharine Todd McFarlane issue. I don't know. [00:53:12] Speaker B: It's. It's like a weird, soft. Soft jumping on point. [00:53:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it kind of is. And then you get the weird stuff with Linda where she just drives around a stolen car and then gets arrested. [00:53:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Looking ridiculous [00:53:29] Speaker A: also. Why? Come on, she's like a pill addict who's, like, supposed to be on the lam, and you just leave her alone with some car keys. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Don't. Don't ever. Don't ever leave troubled people alone. That's like Caregiver 101, Wyatt. Shit. You've been doing this for how many hundreds of years, motherfucker? [00:53:46] Speaker A: But I don't know, it was a funny issue with some good Todd McFarlane touches. I would give it three out of five ET fingers. [00:53:55] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. It's. Yeah, the yildirae sonar sonara art in this is just fan fucking tastic. I do. I do enjoy a boy riding his bike in the middle of nowhere because. [00:54:06] Speaker A: Yes, you would. [00:54:07] Speaker B: That's literally me. I'm gonna. I'm gonna give this two and a half Brady's because you gotta. You gotta. You gotta rate the dog. The dog's getting rated. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Rate that, Brady. [00:54:17] Speaker B: It's. It's. It's perfectly serviceable. I can see it being a. I mean, you could just start with 47 and move on from there. It's fine. Don't worry about it. But yeah, yeah, it's like a soft reset from the fucking he man storyline with fucking what's his face and the. [00:54:34] Speaker A: That why we spent all that time on that. [00:54:38] Speaker B: It's so important. [00:54:39] Speaker A: Godson's daughter, dude. Gotson's daughter. [00:54:42] Speaker B: Whatever. Whatever. But that's those puppies rated, Johnny. They're pretty good. [00:54:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:54:48] Speaker B: You know what else is pretty good, Johnny? What? The Spawn mutinity on Instagram. [00:54:53] Speaker A: Yes. And luckily this one has one for us to call out in it. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Yeah, just. It's just baked in there. We don't have to do any thought at all. It is the cosplayer. Because we love a cosplayer. And that is. Their username is Winter Lights. Cause all one word. Winter Lights. Cause C O S. And they obviously do cosplay. They got the Spawn cosplay. It's really good. They got a Majora's Mask cosplay. Pretty fucking awesome. They got Demon Hunter cosplay. They got a Bride of Frankenstein cosplay. Maybe that's just a regular Frankenstein. I might be being sexist there. Sorry about that. They got a joker. You like it? We love to see a joker cosplay. They got a link cosplay. Cool. Yeah, they got a lot of good shit. So give them a follow. Winter Lights. [00:55:47] Speaker A: Cause while you're on there, give us a follow. We are regarding Swamp Pod on Instagram. You can also reach us by email at. Regarding spawnpodmail.com I think David's got a special announcement for our email. [00:55:59] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [00:56:01] Speaker A: What is that, David? [00:56:02] Speaker B: So I have recently come into possession of a trade paperback of the 1993 Violator miniseries. Spoiler alert, I bought it. So why don't you send us an email about why you should deserve this fucking fantastic 3 issue arc written by none other than Alan Moore himself about our favorite little disgusting man, Violator. And if we agree with your argument about why you should own it, we will send it to you. [00:56:37] Speaker A: I like it. Hit us up. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Yeah, do it. So my argument, Johnny, would be that you should go to the Internet and type in Lonnie Bones music and find Lonnie Bones music. Because he does our music and it fucking rocks. Give him some love, too. [00:56:52] Speaker A: Give us love. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Why don't you subscribe to us? Rate us, review us to your friends, family, co workers, neighbors, random people at the grocery store, friends of friends that you meet at friends birthday parties who finally put together that this is the other half of the, the podcast that Johnny has. [00:57:14] Speaker A: Oh, there you go. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Yeah, very exciting. I got to, I got to plug the podcast at a, at a party. Johnny. [00:57:20] Speaker A: We love it. [00:57:21] Speaker B: I felt real cool. Wanda was, Wanda was over there rolling her eyes so hard they almost fell out of her goddamn head. It was hilarious. [00:57:27] Speaker A: Oh my God. [00:57:31] Speaker B: Well, do that. You know what else is hilarious, Johnny? Spawn recording this podcast. [00:57:38] Speaker A: Yes. [00:57:38] Speaker B: I don't, I don't. I really don't laugh as much on a day to day basis as I do or as, as concentrated in a time as I do when we do this show. So Johnny, why don't we come back and do this show again in about a week maybe? [00:57:51] Speaker A: You know, let's do it and let's do it. Let's do a very special episode, David. [00:57:55] Speaker B: Oh, I'm. I'm always down for a special episode. [00:57:58] Speaker A: We've got a very special guest. We're having back guest. Thomas Sebo. Thomas Hunt. [00:58:03] Speaker B: Hell yeah. And [00:58:06] Speaker A: we're going to do Curse of Shirley Johnson number one. [00:58:09] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:58:10] Speaker A: Thought we'd throw a number one at him and get that going. [00:58:14] Speaker B: It's a great place to start, honestly. It's a fucking wild ride. Curse of Shirley Johnson. [00:58:19] Speaker A: Can't wait. [00:58:20] Speaker B: Can't wait. Alright, so find yourself a copy of Curse of Shirley Johnson number one and then come back in a week and listen to us talk to our friend Tom about it. [00:58:28] Speaker A: It'll be a hoot. [00:58:29] Speaker B: It's nothing will be hootier. [00:58:33] Speaker A: The wind. The owls are the hootiest. The dogs are the snootiest. [00:58:38] Speaker B: And on that, Johnny, I don't have anything to say, but may the scorch be with you. [00:58:44] Speaker A: And also with you, David. [00:58:46] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:58:48] Speaker A: The homes are the rustiest. The gates are the trustiest. Way back home. Don't know why I left the homestead. It's from Fallout. [00:59:03] Speaker B: Nice. [00:59:07] Speaker A: The game.