Episode 129 - Spawn 360 and Gunslinger 39

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Fool. You goddamn fool. I warned you this would foreign. And welcome to the Malbolge. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best Spawn podcast. I'm your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:46] Speaker B: And I am your co host, David Williams. [00:00:48] Speaker A: What the. You got to bring it down. I was trying to be all high energy. [00:00:53] Speaker B: Tonight on Regarding Spot, we're going to discuss the most heinous of creating rhymes. What the Todd father. Has the Todd father gone too far? [00:01:06] Speaker A: It's true. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Yeah. It. He has too far. [00:01:12] Speaker A: He has gone just in a couple moments. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Yeah, just. Just one moment in one issue and then basically the entire of the second issue. [00:01:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:26] Speaker B: Man's working too much. He needs to stop working so much. It's. Yeah. [00:01:32] Speaker A: Oh, way to start on a downer note. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Hey, I wanted to do a different introduction than what I normally do. Come on. [00:01:41] Speaker A: Yeah, talk about the weather, like daylight savings time or some. Come on. [00:01:45] Speaker B: Well, how about I. How about. How about we. We reset? So I have some friends who sent me my first ever slabbed comic. Johnny. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Oh, hell yeah. What'd you get? [00:01:55] Speaker B: I got a slabbed copy of issue 330 because it is an issue we covered on our very first episode of. Regarding Spawn. Johnny. [00:02:04] Speaker A: Wow. [00:02:04] Speaker B: It is amazing. That's great. It is. It is. It is the. The David special. As far as variant covers go, it's the blank one. It's awesome. It's one of those black blank covers. [00:02:20] Speaker A: Really? [00:02:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Oh, nice. [00:02:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:23] Speaker A: I thought you sent me a picture of. I thought the glare was just really bad or something. [00:02:26] Speaker B: Oh, well, no, I intentionally tried to get the glare bad so that way you could see me making a funny face in the background. [00:02:31] Speaker A: Oh, I saw that when you were naked too, when you were taking the picture. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Hey, now, that's why it's not going up on the Instagram. I'm not going to censor nothing. You're going to have to email regarding spawnpodmail.com for that one. [00:02:43] Speaker A: Free the nipple. [00:02:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:44] Speaker A: That's great. I got a Spawn gift recently too. I had a friend who I used to work with who was in town, and they dropped off a sealed copy of the special edition of the Spawn TV series. Vhs. It's pretty nice. I'll send you a picture. I just got that last night, so I didn't. Haven't told you that yet. [00:03:05] Speaker B: That's exciting. [00:03:06] Speaker A: I also got a really nice Jurassic park figure from a good friend of mine, David. [00:03:11] Speaker B: I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do nothing. [00:03:15] Speaker A: David got me this, like, diorama With Samuel Jackson's character, Mr. Arnold. And a raptor. [00:03:20] Speaker B: Yeah, and a raptor. And his arm comes off. And as soon as I saw it, I was like, johnny needs this. [00:03:25] Speaker A: Johnny must have to have it. That's the thing about having a Spawn podcast is people just buy you toys for the rest of your life. [00:03:34] Speaker B: I've had to. I've had to a couple of times now be like, oh, man, thank you so much for thinking of me, but I have nowhere to put that. [00:03:41] Speaker A: No more toys. [00:03:42] Speaker B: No more toys. I'm already. I'm already known at work as the guy with, like. If you need to find me, just look for the toys on the desk. That's David. [00:03:52] Speaker A: You're the toy boy. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Toy boy. Not as. Not as Toy boy as. As Twitch's son is, as we learned in the last episode. [00:04:00] Speaker A: That's true. [00:04:01] Speaker B: He likes that invisible action figure. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Yes. No. You're more of a toy boy than him. Maybe. [00:04:08] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:04:08] Speaker A: Depends how many toys he has. You know, Boy is Chibi Spawn. Yeah, he's a big toy boy. [00:04:16] Speaker B: He's. He's the toyest boyest. The boyest toy. Oh, no, no, that's. That's not right. The toyest boy. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Probably the toyest boy. Well, welcome. Welcome to. Regarding Spawn, where each week we bring you two issues from Spawn's universe. Except when we don't. This week is no different. We have two issues, Both by Todd McFarlane, and they are of varying quality. [00:04:47] Speaker B: They are issues from Spawn's universe, though. [00:04:50] Speaker A: I like 39. All right. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's all right. It's. [00:04:56] Speaker A: It's got a bear in it. [00:04:57] Speaker B: It does have a bear in it. Does have a. He does save the dog, which is very. [00:05:02] Speaker A: He saves. I know. How do you not fucking like. It's about him saving a dog? [00:05:05] Speaker B: It just feels all unne. Raise the problem. [00:05:08] Speaker A: Well, that true. [00:05:09] Speaker B: It's one of those just spinning wheels issues that we. [00:05:13] Speaker A: We get a lot, especially in Gunslinger, I feel like. Yeah, Gunslinger has a lot of, like. Yeah, spinny wheels. But that is to say, this week, we are covering spawn 360 from January 2025 and gunslinger spawn 39 from January 2025. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Hmm. So January. It's January 2025 up in here. [00:05:38] Speaker A: Sure is. [00:05:39] Speaker B: We're at a party like it's January 25th. [00:05:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember you had your big Inauguration Day party that year. That. That month. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Absolutely. I took off of work. I. I booked. I booked an event space. I got insurance, so that way I didn't have to pay for any damages from protestors I don't even remember what I was. I think I was sitting at work with everybody else, just going on the 20th. Yeah, that's more than a week away. It's been more than a week since that, though, so I really don't remember. [00:06:21] Speaker A: You only have a week long memory, basically. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Sometimes not even that. I will literally have a conversation with somebody about something and then 30 minutes later they'll come back and we'll be like, we're doing this now. And I'd be like, what are you talking about? About. Yeah, what did I agree to? [00:06:36] Speaker A: What am I doing? Yeah. Memory is a funny thing, David. It's a funny, fickle thing. [00:06:42] Speaker B: It's memories. [00:06:45] Speaker A: All alone in the moonlight. [00:06:49] Speaker B: It. Yeah, very true. They don't play. They don't play nice, those memories. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Has the moon lost her memory? I was beautiful then. [00:06:58] Speaker B: I mean, you're still beautiful now. Johnny. [00:07:00] Speaker A: How many episodes in a row that we brought up? Cats now? [00:07:04] Speaker B: Four or five. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Four or five. [00:07:06] Speaker B: I mean. I mean, we could just make it a trend. [00:07:08] Speaker A: We just become a cat's podcast. [00:07:10] Speaker B: You could probably try to convince me to watch the movie musical. As soon. As soon as they release the butthole cut, I will definitely watch it. Have a thing. [00:07:20] Speaker A: If we did like a Cat's minute type thing. Like, because they do Star wars minute. If we did a cat's minute off the PBS VHS, that'd be like 200 episodes or the like 120 episodes. [00:07:30] Speaker B: The PBS VHS. You mean the. The performance video that they. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Yeah, they used to show it on PBS occasionally that. [00:07:38] Speaker B: We had a. We had a copy of that. And I know I watched it once, and I remember magical Mr. Mistoffeles just poofing into a whole bunch of sparkles. And I was like, mom, did they do that when you saw it? And she was like, no, no, they. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Don'T do that on stage. [00:07:54] Speaker B: They don't do that on stage. He just manipulated the light, which, thinking about it now and not as a dumb child, an impressive bit of being able to do physical work to get. To make it look like you're managing the light with your hands. A lot of. A lot of technique involved in that. Right? [00:08:17] Speaker A: I mean, those 80s musicals are all about the special effects. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Oh, man, oh, man. I am. I am riding high on some. Some theater right now, Johnny. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we saw our friend John Michaels play. [00:08:29] Speaker B: I am sad that it's taken me this long to see it, but I'm glad that I got to see it now for the first time because, Jesus Christ, it is so good. Spankbank Time Machine. If you ever get a chance to see Spank Bank Time Machine by John. [00:08:43] Speaker A: Michael, you might get a chance because he does a lot of. They do a lot of touring stuff. [00:08:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Went to couple different fringe festivals. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Has he been there twice or only once? [00:08:57] Speaker A: I think twice, man. [00:08:59] Speaker B: I know that his advertising campaign for it was just wandering around in his. In his underwear going, come see my show. Wonderful. [00:09:08] Speaker A: Pretty good. [00:09:09] Speaker B: Absolutely wonderful. And you get free Narcan out of it. Great show. Moving performance, Narcan. What more could you need? [00:09:17] Speaker A: Not much. [00:09:18] Speaker B: How much? I mean, maybe some. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Maybe some Spawn. So let's go get to it. We're just. I'm. I'm barreling right to this day. I want to get to this. [00:09:27] Speaker B: Speaking of bringing it down. Damn. Johnny barreling through. It has done a 360 on us, Johnny. [00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah, it has. So the 360 issue is the one where Todd McFarlane takes back over the writing from Roy McConville. And you can definitely tell. And we're just fucking dragging the Top Father today. [00:09:50] Speaker B: I don't think we've been this harsh on an issue since number seven. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Fucking. Fucking overkill. [00:10:01] Speaker A: It's just. There's a moment that I was just like, damn. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:10:07] Speaker A: What the fuck is that? Why is that in there? Yeah, but there's some other stuff that goes on that is in the top Father's way, kind of confusing. But we'll get to it. Let's start with the covers. Yes. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Where we are. [00:10:21] Speaker A: I have the A cover. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Nice. [00:10:25] Speaker A: Which is by Carlo Barberi and Robert Nugent. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Nice. It's got Spawn all covered in some goop. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Some necroplasm spawns, like, climbing through some wreckage covered in necroplasm. Carrot. There's like a. It's like a tentacle or something. It's, like, wrapped in a big tentacle. [00:10:40] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's like a tentacle with spikes on it. [00:10:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Pretty good Carlo Barberry stuff. [00:10:49] Speaker B: Carlo barberry is really good. I have cover C. The Brett Booth cover, which is Spawn, you know, doing a Batman pose on a grotesque on the stop. Top of a building, holding his. His invisible. His invisible orange. And it's real nice. It's got the Brett Boothery going on with the chain and the cape and his bats all in the background. [00:11:13] Speaker A: It's nice, too. It's like. Feels a little more static than his stuff usually is. In a good way. Like, you can really see Spawn there. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Yeah, because. Because usually. Usually when he's up on a Up on the top of a building. He's like, hunched over Spider Manning. But here he is. He is standing proud. He is. He is holding aloft old poor Yorick's skull. Only without the skull, you know. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's a third cover, David. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. I just realized that last night sitting down to reread and I was like, what? I didn't see the third cover. But I mean, there's third cover and. [00:11:54] Speaker A: It'S by Marco Felia. And it's just like a really striking image of Spawn getting like, trying to get pulled down by these skeletons into some necroplasm. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:08] Speaker A: And he's ascending. [00:12:09] Speaker B: He's ascending. Yeah, it's these. Speaking of skeletons, Johnny, we probably should have gotten this covered. Shit, Those skeletons are cool. [00:12:19] Speaker A: All my favorite bands have a skeleton in them. Yeah, okay. [00:12:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I'm just looking at. I'm just looking at how cool the skeletons are. [00:12:28] Speaker A: I thought something happened. You look worried. [00:12:31] Speaker B: I was closing the. Please accept the cookies. [00:12:35] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:36] Speaker B: But no, yeah, yeah. Cuz it's. It's like. Well, I mean, I guess it's the Malbolge, because it looks like, you know, a trench in hell. [00:12:46] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:12:47] Speaker B: Yeah. And Spawn is just like slowly floating up. Yeah. And they got this. The skeletal fingers reaching up. [00:12:55] Speaker A: Skeletons. Jack Skellington. I was talking about Night Before Christmas last night. I was talking to a friend and saying how I wanted to be emo, but I never. I never had the, like, guts or like, commitment to do it. So just my Hot Topic Nightmare Before Christmas shirts and wear those. And I was like, close enough. [00:13:20] Speaker B: I was. I was always upset that that Nightmare Before Christmas got appropriated by the emo crowd. [00:13:27] Speaker A: What? Why? [00:13:29] Speaker B: Because I didn't want them to have. [00:13:31] Speaker A: A movie's emo as fuck. Jack's like, crying about being the king of Halloween. Oh, boo hoo. Every millennial's fucking dream. Oh, so sorry, Jack. [00:13:42] Speaker B: It's just that. It's just that for. For a good number of years there, like, everybody my age hated it for a while. Like when it came out, everybody was like, hell yeah. And then there was a period of time where that's stupid. That's for little kids. And then was there my experience was that okay, and then, you know, like, I watched it at least once a year, every year. And then, oh, yeah, come around like freshman, sophomore year of high school, and it's suddenly everywhere. And it's like, hold on a second. I know specifically, you said you weren't ever going to fucking watch that because it was for children. You. [00:14:18] Speaker A: The Nightmare for Christmas DVD is how I discovered Oingo Boingo. Because on the back of the DVD it said music by Danny Elfman and in parentheses said Oingo Boingo. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And so I looked it up and then I never went back. [00:14:35] Speaker B: And that's how we got the Johnny that we have today. [00:14:39] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think. I don't think it annoys me about. Not annoys me. It kind of ties into the Night Before Christmas. Like the over merchandising of it. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:50] Speaker A: But just how Halloween has become like two months long and like everyone is the fucking best at Halloween. Everyone loves it. It like. It's like pushing up against like Disney adult territory. [00:15:00] Speaker B: I mean I think the. The Venn diagram between Halloween adult Disney is pretty. [00:15:08] Speaker A: It's a circle. [00:15:08] Speaker B: Significant. I wouldn't say completely a circle, but it's. It's a fat. It's a fat overlap section. [00:15:15] Speaker A: It looks like a P. Yeah. It looks like a very small peanut. Yeah. I don't know, it's just interesting. It's. It's funny how that movie was a bomb and then became, you know, the face of Halloween. [00:15:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean it is very weird. [00:15:31] Speaker A: But it's a good movie though. [00:15:32] Speaker B: I mean, I guess. I mean it's a fantastic movie. [00:15:36] Speaker A: Songs are great. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Stories. [00:15:38] Speaker A: Danny Elfman's great. [00:15:40] Speaker B: The animation is top tier. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Oh man, the animation is insane. It's crazy. Yeah, it's. That same DVD had a lot of great special features on it. It was one of those early DVDs that had like. Was packed at the gills and just the painstaking work they had to go through to make that movie is pretty impressive. [00:15:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I couldn't. I couldn't. Anyway, could not imagine. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Back to Spawn. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:05] Speaker A: The other Hot Topic. There are probably Spawn shirts at Hot Topic. [00:16:09] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Maybe not. I don't know. [00:16:11] Speaker B: Todd McFarland's pretty strict on the license. Yeah, he's pretty tight fisted on a. [00:16:20] Speaker A: They probably had some bootleg ones at the shittier T shirt shop down the mall. [00:16:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. The one that had the. The long shirts that had the bikini body body on them. [00:16:28] Speaker A: Yes. And the Big Johnson shirts which I think we've talked about on the show before. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Definitely have. [00:16:34] Speaker A: Oh God. Leisure shoot Larry, Big Johnson. [00:16:37] Speaker B: Well, they wouldn't even have the rights to Leisure. Leisure suit. Leisure Suit Larry. [00:16:43] Speaker A: Big Johnson's leisure suit Larry adjacent. [00:16:46] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he's the. [00:16:47] Speaker A: They'd be. They'd be friends and creeping on like peeping through the Holes in the locker room together. [00:16:53] Speaker B: They would. They would each share one side of a pair of binoculars. [00:16:56] Speaker A: Exactly. And they're like, gulp. Left 5 degrees there. Like a girl, like, taking off her shirt. And they're like a. Gulp. [00:17:07] Speaker B: How many times have we talked about LSL so far? [00:17:10] Speaker A: Johnny Leisure Suit Larry? We talked about, like, five times. He's a mythic figure of the 90s. PC gaming. [00:17:19] Speaker B: Oh, boy. I have a. I have a friend who. In high school, we went to a thrift store and he found a polyester leisure suit that he wore all the time. It was amazing, really. [00:17:33] Speaker A: What's the difference between a suit and a leisure suit? [00:17:36] Speaker B: Leisure suits aren't quite so formal. So like the this instead of having a shirt and a jacket, it's basically like a jacket shirt hybrid with gigantic lapels. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:49] Speaker B: So it's to make you look like you're dressed up in a casual situation. They're just a product of the seventies, Johnny. Therefore. Therefore getting you into some cocaine sex and very little else. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. [00:18:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:07] Speaker A: That was pre fentanyl cocaine sex. So you didn't have to worry about it. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely didn't. Definitely. I saw. I saw a clipped article from. It was like either New York Magazine or the Atlantic from the. The late 70s. And it was an infographic of the rise of cocaine in the late seventies. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:31] Speaker B: And the. The infographic they used was noses. So in 1975, it was one nose. In 1976, it was three noses. In 1977, it was like a bajillion noses. [00:18:44] Speaker A: That's why everyone loves Star wars so much. Everyone was high out of their mind when it came out. [00:18:48] Speaker B: Everybody was as red. Foreman would say, that kid's on dope. [00:18:53] Speaker A: He was on something. So we pop open this cover. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yes, we do. [00:18:58] Speaker A: And we've got the credits. Script plot by who else but Todd McFarlane. [00:19:03] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Art by Brett Booth. [00:19:05] Speaker B: It's pretty amazing, actually. [00:19:07] Speaker A: It's really good art. [00:19:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:08] Speaker A: Inks by Adelso Corona. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Also very good. [00:19:11] Speaker A: Colors by Robert Nugent. [00:19:13] Speaker B: Colors are also excellent. [00:19:14] Speaker A: What the hell? Everything's excellent. Except. No, I'm kidding. Tom Wojcikowski is the letterer. [00:19:19] Speaker B: I mean, a classic creative director is Tom McFarlane. [00:19:23] Speaker A: And editor in chief is a one and only Thomas Healy. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Previously in Spawn. It has all come to this. Spawn has to make a deal he never thought he'd make. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Okay, okay. I'm not entirely sure how that relates to the story. [00:19:43] Speaker A: What deal does he make? [00:19:44] Speaker B: What? I don't know. [00:19:46] Speaker A: I thought they were hanging out with the Curse. The last time we left off, they. [00:19:50] Speaker B: They fought the curse. Yeah. Because they were. [00:19:52] Speaker A: It ends with the curse being like. They were like. And the light shall kill you. Like, what? Where'd he go? [00:19:57] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:19:59] Speaker A: This is a strange issue. [00:20:02] Speaker B: This is weird. Rory McConville. Paved. Paved a lot of road. And the Todd father was just like, you know what? I'm gonna take this. The spot here between the two paves. [00:20:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just gonna take it. Try to take. [00:20:13] Speaker B: You know, he's just making cow paths through the story. The story arcs. [00:20:19] Speaker A: So we open in hell and there's some hell dudes digging a hole. [00:20:23] Speaker B: We could. We get hell shovels, Johnny? I've never seen a hell shovel before. [00:20:28] Speaker A: Yeah, hell shovel. [00:20:29] Speaker B: They look. They look an awful lot like primitive tools. [00:20:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Probably made out of bone. That. That stick is definitely a bone, Johnny, Isn't it? It looks like a bone. [00:20:41] Speaker A: So long as bone. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Well, there's a lot of. There's a lot of long ass. Maybe it's like a Fleabiac leg bone. [00:20:47] Speaker A: That's true. Could be that. [00:20:50] Speaker B: And they're just these two guys dressed up as warriors. Digging. Digging a hole. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Yep. And what are they gonna put in that hole? Well, we turn the page and over the crest of the hill, it's just mounds of dead bodies. [00:21:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just the leftover carnage from the. The war battle for the. The throne of hell. [00:21:12] Speaker A: What was that, 350? Yeah. [00:21:13] Speaker B: Yeah. There's definitely like angels and like a Fleabiac and just pieces and parts. [00:21:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:25] Speaker B: And all manner of carnage. [00:21:27] Speaker A: Centurion spawns in there. [00:21:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Probably also Revolutionary War spawn. [00:21:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Noir spawn. [00:21:38] Speaker B: Oh, man. All right. No, because. Because he got. [00:21:41] Speaker A: He died forever. Yeah, he got sniper rifle. [00:21:44] Speaker B: Got snipered right in front of everybody. There's also. There's also a Brett Booth dinosaur with a super awesome skull skull saddle there. [00:21:56] Speaker A: He's got like a helmet that has a woolly mammoth tusks attached to it. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks a lot like the. The Oliphants from Lord of the Rings and their batter gear. [00:22:08] Speaker A: It's an Oliphant. [00:22:10] Speaker B: A Timothy. [00:22:12] Speaker A: It's a Timothy Oliphant. [00:22:14] Speaker B: Has anybody. Has anybody recut that battle scene with all of the Oants replaced by Timothy Olaf? [00:22:23] Speaker A: I mean, I imagine there's been Lord of the Rings has been memed so much. I imagine something like that's happened. [00:22:28] Speaker B: That would be great. It still only counts as one. So. So these two. These two hell guys are like, they. Geez, where did they. Apparently their directive is to bury all the bodies so that way God can't see how many troops he's lost. [00:22:46] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:22:46] Speaker B: It's like, okay, so. So they. They get the dinosaur to just like, like scoot, Scoot all of the carnage into the body to the. The hole. [00:22:56] Speaker A: Well, he uses his woolly mammoth tusk as, like, a backhoe. [00:22:59] Speaker B: So it's like the hell version of a forklift certification. [00:23:04] Speaker A: It's like the hell. It's like the hell version of the dead baby joke. How do you get. How do you get a dead baby. What? [00:23:14] Speaker B: What is it? I don't. I don't know. They're all. [00:23:16] Speaker A: The one with the dumpster and the pitchfork. [00:23:20] Speaker B: I can. I can imagine. But I don't know how it was phrased exactly. [00:23:24] Speaker A: It was like, how do you empty a dumpster full of dead babies with a pitchfork? [00:23:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that sounds. That sounds close enough. [00:23:29] Speaker A: That's kind of what's going on here. [00:23:30] Speaker B: With a. With a pitchfork. Music festival. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Yes. [00:23:35] Speaker B: And then. And then once these two hell guys are satisfied that all the carnage is put in the. In the hole, this one guy just goes over and grabs this gigantic rock and lifts it above his head, like cartoon style. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Yes. [00:23:49] Speaker B: And just. [00:23:50] Speaker A: And throws it on the hole. I just wanna be clear. I don't like dead baby jokes. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Yeah, they're. They fucking suck. [00:23:58] Speaker A: I just wanna be very clear. The very first people that told us. [00:24:00] Speaker B: In the 90s were stupid, the very first one you ever hear is maybe a little funny because of how shocking it is. And then it's only the worst people you know who continue to think they're funny. [00:24:15] Speaker A: That's correct. [00:24:16] Speaker B: Yeah. And they're bad. [00:24:18] Speaker A: They're bad dudes. [00:24:20] Speaker B: And then. And then your mom. You get to see your mom cry one of three times you've ever seen her cry. Because people are so cruel and nobody should be making dead baby jokes. True facts. [00:24:32] Speaker A: You made your mom cry with a dead baby joke. [00:24:34] Speaker B: I didn't make my mom cry with the dead baby jokes, but it was part of a conversation we were having in which she cried because part of it was because of the cruelty of the world and did baby jokes. I have seen my mother cry three times and only heard her say fuck like twice. So that's, you know, that's. That's when it's bad. [00:24:53] Speaker A: I've only heard my mom say fuck like twice. Two or three times. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Yeah. She. She says shit a lot. She usually says crapsy cola, shit and damn are fine. But when. When Mama Williams busts out the f. The fuck word, you Know, it's. You know, it's some serious business. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Yeah, same with Mama Fisher. I remember one. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't. I was. I was sick for a long time in seventh grade, like a week. And I had to do all this makeup homework. And I was behind on the math part of making up the homework. And she, like, the teacher called my house and was like, hey, you know, your son's behind. If he doesn't get these things in this week, he's going to have like a C or a D or something in the class. And I was currently working on the homework when she called. And then, like, my mom came in my room and she was like, yelling at me, like, you know, you got to do this homework. Like, I am doing it. And I was like, well, I don't have. And I didn't have all of it. I was like, I don't have all of it. Like, I have. I'm doing what I have. And she goes, what's that in your fucking hand? And I was like, ah. [00:25:57] Speaker B: Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. Serious moments, serious moments, serious moments. [00:26:06] Speaker A: One time I heard my dad say, fuck. When we were going down a hill in the snow, and we couldn't stop, and there were these kids in front of us who were play acting like they couldn't get out of the way. They could. They were just being dumbasses over by Zinc park in Tulsa. And my dad was like, get the fuck out of the way. And I was like, holy shit. [00:26:26] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, yeah. No. Most of the bad words I learned, I learned while riding in the car with my dad. He was. He was. I wouldn't say an angry driver, but an angry reaction driver. All of his reactions while driving were angry. So. [00:26:45] Speaker A: So this guy throws this big rock on the whole of bodies. [00:26:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And then they're like, okay, let's go, let's go. Let's go tell our queen what we're doing. [00:26:56] Speaker A: We come back to Earth. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Come back to Earth. Spawn and Lyra are standing there talking. My standing there talking, doing. Oh, that's right, Johnny. They got there. They missed. Wait, no, I was thinking of the scorched when they mysteriously got their powers halfway through. [00:27:19] Speaker A: No, they don't get those. They get his powers back at the end of this issue. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lyra and Spawn are basically dissolving their partnership. It seems like, like they want the same thing, but they can't agree on how to. How to get to it. So they have to go their. Their own way. [00:27:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Which is sad. I Like Lyra. But hopefully we'll see her again soon, not just, like, way later. [00:27:42] Speaker B: Hopefully, she'll be a member of the Scorched. [00:27:44] Speaker A: Yeah, she can pop on the Scorched. Why not? And then we get the classic Todd father. 40 minutes later. Exactly 40 minutes. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Exactly 40 minutes and shit, I just forgot her name. Oh, fuck. [00:27:59] Speaker A: Jessica. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Jessica. Oh, fucking good Lord. Johnny, you okay, buddy? I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see how. How we get through this episode. But Jessica Priest is just, like, yelling at, Yelling at Spawn. She's. She's pulling a Helen from Sam and Twitch Case Files on him right now. [00:28:19] Speaker A: It just makes you think of Blair Witch Project because she goes, are you out of your goddamn mind? When he kicks the map into the river. Yeah, I kicked that fucker of the river. So, yeah, she screams at him like Heather Donahue in Blair Witch Project. Are you out of your goddamn mind? That should have been an opening question. [00:28:39] Speaker B: There's arguing about, you know, what he says he needs to do. And then, like, passions, Passions get hot and, and, And Al gets real angry and slams her against the wall and is like. [00:28:54] Speaker A: Well, she mentions Wanda. [00:28:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, she mentioned. She mentions Wanda. [00:28:57] Speaker A: She says, no wonder Wanda was not standing by your side. [00:29:01] Speaker B: And he, and he says, you leave my wife's name out your mouth. [00:29:05] Speaker A: Yeah, he slaps her on the Oscar stage. Stop emailing my wife, Spawn. First of all, you lose her. She's not even your wife. Yeah, well, she was. She was, but she's Terry's wife. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Then you died, and then. But you, you agreed. Till death do you part. And death. You parted. [00:29:25] Speaker A: And so she married Terry Fitzgerald. [00:29:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I gave the world cyan. [00:29:30] Speaker A: You know why? Because he's hotter than you. Spawn. Put that in your craw. That's a good looking man, Terry Fitzgerald. [00:29:37] Speaker B: I just, I choose. I choose. [00:29:39] Speaker A: I mean, if I had to choose, no question, get to date Al Simmons or Terry Fitzgerald. Terry. [00:29:46] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. [00:29:48] Speaker A: No one wants to date Al Simmons. He's a madman. Yeah, as we see right here. Because he slams Jessica against the wall, which, like, cracks the wall. [00:29:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it's carnage. [00:29:59] Speaker A: Not a great look for a character who is historically known to have hit his wife before. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that was. That was rough. [00:30:07] Speaker A: That was rough. [00:30:07] Speaker B: I always forget that was rough. Yeah. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Rough, rough stuff, Johnny. [00:30:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I always forget that. That I, I, it was. Evidently, when it was initially revealed, it was before we started the podcast. It was pretty controversial within the Spawn community, and I can see why. [00:30:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:30:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think it's the best choice. [00:30:33] Speaker B: No. And then. And then he gives her. He gives her a little kiss, then he kisses her. [00:30:42] Speaker A: This is so fucking weird. [00:30:44] Speaker B: This is so. This is so out of. So out. Their relationship has never had any sort of sexual component to it. It has been appreciation of skills and then, like, fucking hating absolutely everything else about them. And it's not even like a. A will they. Won't they? Kind of. No, it's just straight out. You're good at killing people. I like that. Everything else. Just leave me. [00:31:08] Speaker A: Don't give a. [00:31:11] Speaker B: And then even worse is that Jessica Priest isn't like, what the are you doing? Like, she looks, like, demure and kind of shy and like, maybe we shouldn't do this. No. Jessica Priest should fucking slap his ass. [00:31:26] Speaker A: She slap. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Not slap his ass, but slap him because he's an ass. [00:31:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. She said. I don't know. It's just so weird. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. This. Yeah. [00:31:39] Speaker A: It's just like. It's like. Because he's solid in something else. [00:31:42] Speaker B: He's like. [00:31:42] Speaker A: I remember it's like he saw a scene where, like, two people were fighting and you cut the tension by them kissing, which can work really well. [00:31:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:49] Speaker A: You know, Han and Leia or like, you know, lots of different movies. But like, it's like he just copied that. But, like, you have to earn that. You can't just, like, do that. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Or like. I mean, like. Yeah. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Are we clutching our pearls too much over this, David? [00:32:05] Speaker B: Maybe. I mean, who's to say. Who's to say how much pearl clutching is too much Pearl clutching. [00:32:10] Speaker A: But the pearls, they might. They might be hurt if you're clutching them too hard. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Is there a. A Lorax for the pearls that speaks for the pearls. [00:32:20] Speaker A: That's a clam much. It's a big clam. Right. Clams. Where pearls come from, right? [00:32:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Oysters or any kind of filter feeder. So, like scallops or clams or oysters or. Side topic. I have a friend who recently reposted the. Their favorite X ray that they've ever gotten of themselves. And they apparently broke their shoulder while they were at a formal function. So the X ray is Fucking mangled shoulder and strings of pearls. Classiest X ray ever. It's great. [00:32:55] Speaker A: That's cool. [00:32:56] Speaker B: Yeah. It's cooler than this, at least. And then. [00:33:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:00] Speaker B: Then Al does the classic, here's a list of names. I need you to predict them. [00:33:05] Speaker A: And it's like a list. [00:33:07] Speaker B: He's like, here's a list. I'm going to leave. [00:33:09] Speaker A: It's a piece of paper. That's what's so funny. It's just like a little list. Like. So he sat down at a desk with like a little piece of paper in his spawn costume. He wrote a list of names. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [00:33:19] Speaker A: Who is this guy? Jacob. It's a lost reference. Sorry. [00:33:26] Speaker B: No, it's fine. It's just we gotta get. We gotta get over that page. We gotta turn onto the next page. [00:33:32] Speaker A: All right, well, he's right. He wrote this little note. He hands it to her, has all these names on it. And then she's got to protect them. [00:33:37] Speaker B: And then he's sent himself to Ted Kaczynski's cabin in the middle of the woods. [00:33:41] Speaker A: Yeah, basically it's just full of guns and bullets. [00:33:45] Speaker B: And we, we do get a. We do get amazing. An amazing commando spawn here. He's got like a JRPG sword on his back. That. Or is that a gun butt? I can't tell if it's the sword is this wide or if there's a gun in front of it. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I can't tell either. I love a wide sword. [00:34:05] Speaker B: He's got, he's got. He's. He's dual wielding. One of the guns is like longer than his arm. He's got. [00:34:12] Speaker A: He's got like metal plating on armor. [00:34:15] Speaker B: And the night vision goggles and the. [00:34:17] Speaker A: Pouches, so many pouches. [00:34:21] Speaker B: And he's, he's. He's prepared to go to a meeting with Blood because he has. He. He has been able to. To convince one of Blood's deserters to give up some information. And so now he waits and the. [00:34:42] Speaker A: Deserter comes and tells all about his lord's whereabouts. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Spawn leaves the cabin. And then we do a cut to hell. Basically looking a lot like. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Looking a lot like Mordor. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I was about to say it's the Eye of Sauron, only green. [00:35:00] Speaker A: Green. Yeah, it's Nix's tower. It has like a necroplasm storm coming around it. The two guys who made the hole are like coming in to. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Yeah, they're talk to her. They're leading the dinosaur instead of riding it. So. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Why wouldn't you just ride. [00:35:13] Speaker B: Yeah, just ride the dinosaur up. [00:35:15] Speaker A: Come on, man. It's got a saddle. [00:35:19] Speaker B: They could both fit on it. I'm pretty sure. [00:35:23] Speaker A: Definitely both fit on it. [00:35:24] Speaker B: And then Nyx is there, looking great. Nyx is a great Queen of Hell. [00:35:29] Speaker A: Yeah, her Queen of Hell looks as good. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah. And they're like, we buried all the bodies, so that God's auditors can't. Can't discover the loss of troops. [00:35:38] Speaker A: What does that fucking mean? Like, he's not gonna notice all his troops are dead. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Yeah. This is gonna be like, I thought there were more troops, but look, I'm not seeing any dead ones. [00:35:48] Speaker A: So they're not under that rock over there. [00:35:52] Speaker B: Oh, boy. And Nick says, excellent. It's crucial they stay ignorant of their understanding of how weak God's strategy has been. And then they're talking about amassing additional troops for a distraction. And then, and then, and then they're like. And our earthly spies have told us that Al Simmons is being dumb. And she's like, God damn it. Fucking ow. God damn it. It's basically what this whole scene is. And she's like, I'll make sure he does what he's supposed to when he's supposed to. The mother. [00:36:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Oh, man, didn't. We didn't focus too much on the guys heads underneath these helmets, Johnny. But they're just like terrifying meatball heads. Yeah, they're. They're like skinless skulls that still have some. Some muscle on them, but no skin. [00:36:55] Speaker A: So Spawn goes to the meet up with Blood here. It's like on a rooftop, like you do. [00:37:00] Speaker B: Yeah. And then he gets like sucker punched. And then Al realizes, oh, he's been lied to because it's duh. Yeah, cuz. Cuz Blood Bloods come, you know, like coming in with a punch and then with a stab and says, you made a mistake coming here. And that little. That little bat in the background between the word bubble and blood. Jason. Johnny. I forgot your name for a second. Holy. I totally thought it was a like, Navi. [00:37:32] Speaker A: From Zelda. Hey, listen. [00:37:36] Speaker B: Then I realized it was a bat. [00:37:38] Speaker A: It's a bat. [00:37:39] Speaker B: It's bat. And so then Spawn starts kicking and shooting. [00:37:46] Speaker A: And does nothing to Blood. [00:37:48] Speaker B: Nothing to him. And Blood's like, you're. You're being a putt, Spawn. You're. Nobody's gonna share anything with you. You ain't got no power. Your time is over. This is our time. And then he like, rips a chimney off of the. Off of the roof and stabs Al right through the heart. And then after he stabs Al through the heart, kicks him right in the face and flies away. [00:38:14] Speaker A: And Al's just like got the shit kicked out of him with a giant chimney in his chest. [00:38:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:38:20] Speaker A: Looking pretty dead. [00:38:21] Speaker B: Yeah. The night air becomes quiet. His pulse has gone. Johnny. [00:38:25] Speaker A: Impossibly, death has finally come for our now human hero. [00:38:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Wow. [00:38:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:30] Speaker A: And then Swan's dead. [00:38:31] Speaker B: And then as he's. As he's laying there dead, some. Some crows, some ravens come by and herald the coming of Queen Nyx in. [00:38:41] Speaker A: Her zombie body form. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Yeah. And then we get the opening reading minus. Minus the slurp. Because she pulls the. She pulls the chimney out of his chest, and it goes slurp. [00:38:55] Speaker A: And she hoists him above his head and says, I warned you this would happen. And she looks. Appears to heal him. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Yeah, she's, like, shooting him through with some necroplasm. Some necroplastic energy, it looks like. [00:39:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:08] Speaker B: And Spawn has once again reached zero on the power meter. [00:39:12] Speaker A: He has. Because he's dead. [00:39:14] Speaker B: He's dead. [00:39:15] Speaker A: I can't believe it. The last issue was Spawn. [00:39:19] Speaker B: It was a good run. It was a good run over 30 years. [00:39:24] Speaker A: RIP Al Simmons. Maybe you deserve it for kissing Jessica. [00:39:29] Speaker B: It's his comeuppance. Then we get a Spawning Grounds with another entry in the Jet art saga we got going on here. Jet's been reading a lot of Spawn. Kills every Spawn. So their submission this time is a. At Chibispawn. And I think it's pretty good. I think. I think Sketchcraft's style is very well suited to Jet. Jet does a great job. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Really well represented. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Like that face that might be. That might be the best face that we've seen Jet have in the back of these pages, I'd say. [00:40:08] Speaker A: I'd say so. [00:40:09] Speaker B: It's a good one. [00:40:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:12] Speaker B: And that. That. The violator. The Violator chainsaw mouth gun with the. The tank treads is a pretty dope idea. [00:40:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:21] Speaker B: I would. I would poop myself if I saw that coming toward me. [00:40:26] Speaker A: Also in the letter, they say that they hope there's a Chibi Spawn figure coming soon, and so do I. Yeah. [00:40:33] Speaker B: Right after we complain about too many. [00:40:35] Speaker A: Complain about having too many toys. [00:40:36] Speaker B: It'll be small. It'll be a small one. [00:40:38] Speaker A: It'll be Chibi spot. It'll be little. It's like the biggest figure. [00:40:41] Speaker B: I don't know. Those bum bums were, like, 6 inches tall. [00:40:44] Speaker A: I am gonna have to get the deviant, though. I will have to get that. [00:40:46] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. [00:40:49] Speaker A: But it's great. It's great. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Then the. The next. The next letter is from somebody who was like, thank you for keeping everything 2.99. [00:41:00] Speaker A: Derek F. From Maryland. Yes, thank you. [00:41:02] Speaker B: He says. He says, I. I was. I was there for every issue one through a hundred, and then I took 100 issues off, but then I got back out on 200, and I've been there ever since. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Good job, Derek. And it's good that it's 299. [00:41:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:15] Speaker A: And Thomas Healy says we'll be certainly trying to stay at 299 for as long as we can. [00:41:19] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. And then we've got another bit of. [00:41:23] Speaker A: It makes it sound like next month they're going to switch to 399. [00:41:28] Speaker B: We'll see. Then we've got some. Some action figure photography of Spawn and his depowered. Yeah, it looks really good. He's sitting there and he's got like the, the scarf. He's got the Lenny Kravitz scarf on and the. [00:41:47] Speaker A: He's got the sword. He's got like his chain thing. [00:41:52] Speaker B: Very nice. Eros fig on the ig. Do you need more Spawns universe, Johnny? [00:41:58] Speaker A: Yep. [00:41:59] Speaker B: And don't miss the ongoing titles. You got the Core four. Nice. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Spawn King Spawn Scorched Gunslinger. [00:42:07] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:42:08] Speaker A: Then we get an ad for the Image Classics and the toy ad this time. Is that Spawn statue. It's like 400. [00:42:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Still a good looking statue. [00:42:19] Speaker A: Does look really good. [00:42:20] Speaker B: Thanks, man. [00:42:21] Speaker A: There's a Spawn statue of issue one. [00:42:23] Speaker B: Yeah, so that's. That's spawn 360, Johnny. [00:42:29] Speaker A: Yep, it did a whole 360. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Turn the spawn around. [00:43:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. [00:43:02] Speaker B: Alrighty. Yeehaw. [00:43:04] Speaker A: Here we go. It's time for Gunslinger Not Deadly Tails. The Gunslinger Vanilla. [00:43:11] Speaker B: Gunslinger Vanilla. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Gunslinger Vanilla's a flavor, David. [00:43:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. Vanilla is. Wars were fought over vanilla. [00:43:19] Speaker A: I love vanilla. [00:43:20] Speaker B: Vanilla's fucking amazing. [00:43:21] Speaker A: It's like. It's my favorite kind of ice cream. It's vanilla ice cream with like a hot brownie or like a molten lava cake with ice cream. Any of that kind of shit. [00:43:32] Speaker B: Style. [00:43:33] Speaker A: Oh, a la mode. All the way. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Vanilla piece of pie with some ice cream. Vanilla. Yeah. [00:43:39] Speaker B: My favorite. Ever since we're talking about it. My favorite ever ice cream is from Brahms. It's the tuxedo sundae where it's a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate and the chocolate has marshmallow fluff and the vanilla has hot fudge and then just smooth cream nuts and a cherry. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Sounds pretty good. [00:43:54] Speaker B: It's so good. It's so good. [00:43:55] Speaker A: I was just in Oklahoma, but I didn't get to go to Brahms. [00:43:57] Speaker B: Oh, how dare you. [00:43:59] Speaker A: I'm sorry. It was too much other food to eat. [00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah, the last time I went and got one, I was like halfway through it and was like, oh boy, I cannot finish this. But I don't know when I'll get another one. So I have to finish it. [00:44:14] Speaker A: Brahms is one I go to, like, every other time I go home. You got to. You know, you only have so many meals, David. [00:44:19] Speaker B: You got to, you know, like, you want to. You want to hit all your spots. But then your mom's like, I made you 14 meals for the three days you're going to be here. Right? It's like, do you think I'm just going to do nothing but eat? I mean, probably I will do nothing but eat, but that's too much food. [00:44:36] Speaker A: Yeah, too much food. [00:44:37] Speaker B: That's a good problem to have, though. [00:44:40] Speaker A: It is a good problem to have. [00:44:42] Speaker B: You know what else is a good problem to have? [00:44:44] Speaker A: Reading some gunslinger. [00:44:46] Speaker B: Reading some gunslinger. Not. Not the problem that is leading Javi to drink on the COVID of the. That I have cover. A. The Fernandez cover. Yes, it is a very. A very good cover. It's just Javi with a gun out at the bar, about to take a shot of whiskey. [00:45:03] Speaker A: Yep. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Oh, man. Just classic. [00:45:06] Speaker A: Pretty cool. [00:45:07] Speaker B: What is that? [00:45:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I like the red color hue. It's great. [00:45:11] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's a gorgeous cover. And the second cover is a Donagulio cover. And it is an action shot. He is. He is, like, in the woods, and there's. Is that blood or those petals? Oh, yeah, it's leaves. So he's like, in a. He's like in a fall forest, and he's. He's whipping himself around. It's kind of like a. Like an anime fight. And there's. [00:45:36] Speaker A: There's red leaves or snow coming down or something. Yeah, it's pretty cool. [00:45:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:42] Speaker A: Very dynamic. [00:45:44] Speaker B: It's very. [00:45:44] Speaker A: And he's using chains as a weapon. You don't usually see that. [00:45:47] Speaker B: Yeah, well, don't you. Don't forget, Johnny, he is the weakest of the hell spawns, so he has to rely on other methods Indeed. Yeah. So let's. Let's. Let's crack open this. This gunslinger so we can get the credits, give them where they're due. We got script plot by Todd McFarlane, art by Carlo Barberi. Man. Carlo Barberi. Still fucking killing it, Johnny. He's been killing it since like, what, 302, 303, something like that? Man, that's like four years of Carlo Barberia art. This is amazing. Colors by Ivan Nunez, lettering by the Tom father himself, Tom Orzikowski. We cover the covers. Creative director is Todd McFarlane, and the editor in chief is Mr. Thomas Healy. And previously in Gunslinger. With his powers returned, Gunslinger attempts a daring escape from his captors. [00:46:44] Speaker A: Indeed, he Does. [00:46:45] Speaker B: That's what happened. And we. We end up right exactly where the last issue stopped. [00:46:52] Speaker A: Johnny, he's just getting blown away. [00:46:54] Speaker B: He's just getting blown away. It even starts like in media Shot. [00:46:59] Speaker A: Yeah, this just starts on the barrel of a gun. Shooting him. [00:47:02] Speaker B: Yeah, we get a. A. A muzzle blast. And then blood. And then like sun in the eyes. And then gunslinger's eyes. And then another shot, another splatter of blood. This is a great page. Yeah, it's just got a little. A little brief overview. His luck had finally run out, Johnny. And it's all of. All of the bullshit that's happened to the hobby, like the past four or five issues. And it's like, well, now. Now he. All of those things have caught up to him. And so. So he falls down after being shot by all these cops. And then as he's laying on the ground, they stop. They stop shooting. And he's just like, huh, huh. He's like, you're not shooting me anymore. [00:47:54] Speaker A: What happened? [00:47:54] Speaker B: What? Why. Why are you not shooting me? I like the big question mark next to his head because, yeah, it says that, that he's resigned himself to accepting death. And then when he doesn't die, he's like, oh. Huh? [00:48:09] Speaker A: What's on here? [00:48:10] Speaker B: What? It's the. The guard dogs have. Have started to protect their true master, Javi. Javi and the cops, they turn. [00:48:21] Speaker A: The dogs turn on the cops. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And so the. The one guy, like, radios in, says the dogs aren't. Aren't. Aren't responding. Send in some backup. And then Javi slices the. The radio wire with one of his knives and then starts his own assault on the police officers. Just throwing knives and kicking. And. Oh, boy. [00:48:44] Speaker A: He's like, I don't know why this happened, but I'm glad it did. [00:48:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:47] Speaker A: He hits one in the shoulder with a knife. He kills the other one. Or maybe just kicks, I think. I think he just kills him. [00:48:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I think he just knocks him out because the. It very clearly his boot has not gone through the body. So I think we're. [00:48:59] Speaker A: Yes, yes, this is not exploding. [00:49:04] Speaker B: And so, so Javi's standing there over the wounded. The wounded prison guard with these dogs that are, you know, under his sway. And he's. He's very seriously being like, now, now you. If you do any funny business, I gotta kill you. But if you can refrain from funny business, then I'll just knock you out. And he knocks him out. [00:49:30] Speaker A: So, yeah, he's basically like, you know, his guy has kids and Javi's like, all right, well, yeah, I'm not going to kill him. [00:49:37] Speaker B: Yeah. So then. Then he decides. He just, like, turns to the dogs and he's like, you two distraction. You, third one, you come with me. We got some work to do. And then. [00:49:50] Speaker A: Long years on those dogs. [00:49:51] Speaker B: Yeah, Dobermans. Yeah, those are Dobermans. It's. It's actually quite impressive because. Oh, no, I guess they probably are docked. The thing about Dobermans is people dock their ears, which is terrible, but that's how they get their intimidating look. Because if you've ever seen a Doberman with undocked ears. [00:50:13] Speaker A: It'S a goofy as hell. [00:50:15] Speaker B: You would not be. You would not be afraid of a Doberman with its natural ears. They're good dogs, though. They're real good ducks. And then. And then begins what I feel is the long, unnecessary travels of Javi to give us something to fill an issue until something happens. [00:50:41] Speaker A: I don't know. It's kind of fun, though. [00:50:42] Speaker B: It is. It is fun. It is. It is less. [00:50:44] Speaker A: He saves a dog. [00:50:46] Speaker B: It is less exhausting than a. That has been in the past. [00:50:49] Speaker A: It's better than, like, the Carl issue. [00:50:51] Speaker B: Yeah, but. But it's just because it's happened so often, I'm just now like, oh, come on. [00:50:57] Speaker A: Tends to happen a lot in gunslinger. [00:50:58] Speaker B: Can we. Can we just, like, skip a month of gunslinger and then just get, like, right back into the story? But he and the dog run and they run and they run, and then the weather gets catches up to them and. Oh, and then the pundits are all talking about the. The prison bus escape. [00:51:16] Speaker A: Yeah, they're basically recapping the stuff that's happened the last, like, three issues. [00:51:20] Speaker B: And then the snow gets real bad, and Javi's like, oh, shit, I gotta find a place to. To hole up or my dog's not going to do too good. So he finds one cave and leaves the dog in that cave and then goes to search for another cave and then walks back to get to the dog at the first cave so that way they can hang out in the second cave. And then they fall. [00:51:41] Speaker A: But there's baby bears. [00:51:43] Speaker B: Then they fall asleep, but they're woken up by the sound of the baby bears. And then Javi's like, oh, shit, baby bears. We gotta leave. And then they leave the cave, and then they see the mama bear. And then Javi is stuck with a conundrum. He's like, do I pull my pistol and forsake the dog that saved my life, or do I sacrifice a part of myself? For the sake of this animal who saved me, and rightfully so. Javi takes the brunt of the bear's attack to make sure that the dog is okay. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Also, Javi's got his powers back. He didn't even feel the cold. He hasn't feeling his bear shit. Doesn't matter. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And then. And then it just ends with fucking Javi getting revenanted. [00:52:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And the Doberman's just sleeping in his cloak. He's just over there, like, just mauled by a bear. [00:52:32] Speaker B: Yeah. The visual is shockingly that of somebody being mauled to death, Johnny. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:38] Speaker B: Oh, man. This issue just clipped by because it's. [00:52:41] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Well, also the last five pages, like. Like you can really sum up really fast. Yeah, she just did. [00:52:48] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just. It's just him wandering around and then get running into him. [00:52:54] Speaker A: All right, maybe I don't like it as much as I did. I did like it, though, when I read it. [00:52:58] Speaker B: It's. It's not bad. It's just coming on the heels of so many sort of interstitial episodes of Gunslinger. That's. That's really the only problem with it. [00:53:09] Speaker A: It's true. Kind of kills the momentum of the story. Yeah, we got a power meter. It's 0973. [00:53:16] Speaker B: Doing much better than Al at this moment. Jesus. [00:53:18] Speaker A: Much better. [00:53:20] Speaker B: We get another spawning Ground Presents Toy art. Some good toy art. It's all Javi. [00:53:26] Speaker A: All Javi. You got the classic figure and the new figure. [00:53:29] Speaker B: Yeah. A lot of. A lot of good people here, man. I love that classic figure so much. Look at it. That hat is so tall. It is impossibly tall. [00:53:46] Speaker A: Yeah, he looks pretty cool. [00:53:47] Speaker B: I guess that would probably be a Tobias, wouldn't it? [00:53:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it would be a Tobias. [00:53:53] Speaker B: A Tobias Funke and a Nolrapist. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:54:03] Speaker B: Oh, boy. There's always money in the banana stands, Johnny. [00:54:07] Speaker A: Don't I know it. [00:54:10] Speaker B: I mean, I'm going to assume you still need some more spawns universe, don't you, Johnny? Because it's asking us again. [00:54:16] Speaker A: It's asking us again in this ad. And. [00:54:18] Speaker B: Yes, I do, man. Yeah, it's a good one. So those ones are all issues that are coming up that we'll get to talk about. That's very exciting. [00:54:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:29] Speaker A: Then you get the Image Classics ad. A book for every reader. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Mm. A read for every toy ad. [00:54:35] Speaker A: Is our favorite the UFC action figures. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you seen that? The. They now have, like, medieval UFC where people dress up as knights and beat the shit out of each other. [00:54:50] Speaker A: I did not know that. [00:54:51] Speaker B: I've gotten advertisements. Because it's coming to Chicago, Johnny. [00:54:55] Speaker A: Okay, let's go. [00:54:57] Speaker B: I would. I would actually be willing to see people dressed up as knights beating the shit out of each other. [00:55:02] Speaker A: That ghost concert. Let's go to the medieval show. [00:55:05] Speaker B: Did you know that that's the same weekend as Lollapalooza? [00:55:09] Speaker A: Really? [00:55:11] Speaker B: Yeah. That's. Book your hotels now if you plan on either coming to that. That ghost show or Lollapalooza, because they're going to go very quickly. It's going to be a busy weekend. [00:55:25] Speaker A: Yep. Well, ghost shows out in the suburbs, so. [00:55:28] Speaker B: But still, that's two big things. But that's living in the big city for you, Johnny. [00:55:34] Speaker A: That is living the big city. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Too much to do. [00:55:38] Speaker A: Maybe they'll do a Lollapalooza takeover. Maybe ghosts will take it over. [00:55:44] Speaker B: You never know. Stranger things have happened. [00:55:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Four seasons of it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. [00:55:56] Speaker B: That last. This last season is going to be so weird because they're all going to be, like, 25, pretending that they're 13, and it's going to be like, what? [00:56:04] Speaker A: No, they're like. They're like. They're like 16. If they're graduating high school, they're gonna be, like, 18. [00:56:10] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine. [00:56:11] Speaker A: I guess I imagine it'll end with them being seniors. I don't know. [00:56:14] Speaker B: It's been like four years since the last one. [00:56:17] Speaker A: It's been a long time. [00:56:18] Speaker B: Did the last one come out during COVID or the year after Covet? [00:56:21] Speaker A: I came out, like, two or three years ago. [00:56:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:56:24] Speaker A: Because I remember. The only reason I remember is because Mariana Cross got really popular because someone edited stuff from Stranger Things Season 4 with Mariana Cross, the ghost song, and put it on tick tock, and it blew up. [00:56:47] Speaker B: Mariana. [00:56:49] Speaker A: Mariana Cross. [00:56:52] Speaker B: Biggest. The biggest Instagram reel I have ever had was just a video of me biking with one of our dogs and one of those little, little chest carriers just with Mary on a Cross plane in the background. So. [00:57:07] Speaker A: People love that song. [00:57:08] Speaker B: So, like, 9,000 people got to see my little scruffy dog, Aoife. And speaking of little scruffy ducks, Johnny, look at this one. Look at this one. She ain't got no eyes. She ain't got no. [00:57:19] Speaker A: My goodness. [00:57:19] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. She's such a good girl. [00:57:22] Speaker A: Hi, girl. [00:57:23] Speaker B: I would rate her 4.5, only because she licks too much and it gets kind of gross after a while. [00:57:33] Speaker A: Sure. [00:57:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Isn't that right, Ms. Bunny? So, Johnny, I think that means it's time to rate the puppies. [00:57:39] Speaker A: It's time to rate the puppies. First up, this week we had Spawn 360, the first issue back with Todd McFarlane on main title. Spawn. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. You can tell. [00:57:53] Speaker A: What am I gonna say about this issue? It definitely tell that they switched to another writer. It's jarring because Rory McConville had such a nice, like, clip going. And just like, this kind of just takes a swerve because it just feels so different in the writing style. And like, Todd McFarlane's spawn, like, when he writes Al Simmons, is so. [00:58:21] Speaker B: I. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Don'T know, bullheaded and hyper focused. [00:58:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:24] Speaker A: I feel like Roy McConville spawns a little more rounded. [00:58:28] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. He's not as. He's not as sympathetic when the Todd father writes him. [00:58:33] Speaker A: No. When the Todd father writes him, he's just a fucking dick most of the time. [00:58:38] Speaker B: Absolutely. But I guess that's what it takes to be the world's greatest assassin, Johnny. [00:58:44] Speaker A: Yeah, the art's great. Love the Brett Booth. I'm glad I got to do a dinosaur. Just like, the story is kind of weird. The story is like, they bury some bodies, he meets up with blood, he dies. It should be more epic. I don't know. It should be like. I feel like there should be. I don't know. It wasn't. It was no 350. [00:59:06] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. [00:59:08] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm gonna give it two problematic kisses, so. [00:59:14] Speaker B: So a couple. A little. Another little. Give it a little kiss. [00:59:21] Speaker A: The go goat. [00:59:22] Speaker B: Yeah. So I do what I call whistle karaoke, where when I walk around, I whistle to the songs I'm listening to. Probably annoying to the other people on the sidewalks, but hey, guess what? It's a fucking public space. So nobody's told me to stop yet. And I always do the kisses when I do kiss the go goat, and I always feel a little self conscious about it because I'm just walking around going, oh, boy. I have to make sure that I am expressing expressly, not making eye contact with anybody. [00:59:52] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what's funny about Mariana Cross is it's such a beautiful song, and it's very much an earworm, and it has, like, some good emotion behind it. But then they have that line about tickling you internally. It's so goofy. But, like, the rest of the song is very majestic and, like, emotional. And then it's like, I don't know, tickle, tickle, Papa will tickle your taint. [01:00:18] Speaker B: I mean, that's kind of. That's kind of how the 60s were, Johnny. [01:00:21] Speaker A: That's true. [01:00:22] Speaker B: Like anything that was emotional and beautiful and moving always had a little bit of. A little bit of Just a little something in there that was a little like, huh? What? [01:00:31] Speaker A: For those of you who are familiar with ghost lore. [01:00:33] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:00:34] Speaker A: The ghost didn't exist in the 60s, but in the world of ghosts, a version of ghost existed in the 60s. And they wrote those two songs. Three. Three songs. [01:00:44] Speaker B: What's the third one? [01:00:46] Speaker A: The. Oh, you haven't seen the movie yet. [01:00:47] Speaker B: Oh, no, I haven't. Yeah, that's right. [01:00:49] Speaker A: The future is a Foreign Land is also. [01:00:52] Speaker B: I told you. I told you I would totally fucking. I told you it would happen. [01:00:56] Speaker A: No, because Futures of Foreign land. He's like 55 years from now. Okay, yeah, okay, that's. That's pop. In the movie. He goes. He goes. What do you do? You wrote two hit songs. Papa Nahil goes. Three hit songs. [01:01:11] Speaker B: And then they play the song Papa Nile. Oh, man. He is the. He is the. The hard rocking saxophone men. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah, he is. Wake him up. Yeah, yeah. So two. What did you give it? [01:01:29] Speaker B: I. I haven't gotten to it yet. [01:01:32] Speaker A: Okay. I don't remember. [01:01:34] Speaker B: I got distracted by the kisses. We've gotten to a ghost. And then. So first off, the art's incredible. Absolutely incredible Brett Booth outing here. Aside from the major issue of the whole Kiss business, that it's gonna. It's gonna take me a couple of days to get over it again, Johnny. It's upsetting. [01:02:02] Speaker A: Oh, my God. It's not that bad. Jesus, you are clutching your pearls too hard. [01:02:06] Speaker B: It's. It's just so out of character for everything. And then the fallout isn't actually fallout. And it's just like, what the. [01:02:14] Speaker A: It's so weird that it's in there. [01:02:16] Speaker B: It's so weird. But, like, my major issue with it is that Rory McConville set up all of these, like, seeds for the story to go, and the Todd father just, like, came in and ignored all of them. So, yeah, so now there's just like this pile of, like, unfinished storylines and this pile of kind of like, partially started storylines, and they're just like spaghetti there in the middle. So it'll take some time for us to get out of this and get something like a single thread going. So a pretty rough transition from writer to writer. This issue was. And, you know, necessary, I guess. I guess it's taken to just pull the band aid off really quickly approach is kind of what they went for. Yeah. I'm also gonna Give it to. I'm gonna give it to fucking war dinosaurs. Because that dude kicks so much ass. This should be the dinosaur action figure they put out. [01:03:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, the backhoe dinosaur. [01:03:26] Speaker B: They could give him a little construction hat. [01:03:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:30] Speaker B: Did they have a. Did they have a series of Jurassic park action figures that were construction worker dinosaurs, or am I making that up? [01:03:38] Speaker A: They didn't have that. [01:03:38] Speaker B: I know the Ninja Turtles had a construction worker Ninja Turtles series. [01:03:42] Speaker A: They never did like that goofy shit with Jurassic park figures. They were always pretty accurate. Not accurate. Well, they weren't accurate, that's for sure. Yeah, Dennis Nedry's figure. You should look it up. He's, like, super buff, like the guy. That way Knight plays. [01:03:57] Speaker B: Was he buff in the book? [01:03:59] Speaker A: No, I don't. [01:04:00] Speaker B: I don't remember how it's supposed to be in the book. [01:04:03] Speaker A: About the same. A slob. A classic 90s slob. A fool. [01:04:09] Speaker B: You didn't say the magic word. [01:04:13] Speaker A: Please. God damn it. I hate this hacker crap. [01:04:21] Speaker B: Oh, man. [01:04:22] Speaker A: What? [01:04:22] Speaker B: Do you hate this? Do you hate this Gunslinger Johnny? [01:04:25] Speaker A: No, I like it. I like it more than you. I thought I liked that he saved the dog. I liked the bear. I don't know. I liked it because I showed Javi being heroic. He didn't kill the cop. He saves the dog. I just liked it. So sue me. [01:04:44] Speaker B: You will see me on court, sir. [01:04:47] Speaker A: I'll give it four baby bears. [01:04:49] Speaker B: Four little baby bears. Little baby bears. [01:04:51] Speaker A: I liked it. You know, I thought it was fun to see Javi being a hero. I look glad he has his powers back. Carlo Barberi's art is excellent as always. So, yeah, four baby bears. [01:05:04] Speaker B: The writing in this is infinitely better than in spawn360. It's got an end goal that it's trying to get to. It's taken its sweet time to get there, but it at least knows what it's doing, right? The Carla Barbari art is fucking excellent. I love that Javi saves the dog. This is a fun sort of Western. Western journey story. [01:05:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:32] Speaker B: That's something that happens in a lot of Westerns. It's just. I want. I want something to actually happen in Gunslinger. Again, nothing's really truly happened for a few issues, so that's my major gripe with it. I'm gonna give it. Well, you know what, Johnny? I'm just gonna take the obvious one. I'm gonna give it three and a half dogs hanging out in Javi's cloak. [01:05:53] Speaker A: Okay. I mean, you always have a dog hanging out in your cloak, so. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wish I had a cloak, but yeah. So a solid outing. [01:06:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:06:06] Speaker B: That cover is amazing. God, I'm still looking at it. So good. [01:06:10] Speaker A: Yeah. I love him at the bar. [01:06:13] Speaker B: Well, you know what else you love at a bar, Johnny? [01:06:17] Speaker A: The music and the camaraderie. [01:06:19] Speaker B: Yeah, Making friends. That's what the. That's what the bars are for, is for. Making friends. [01:06:22] Speaker A: Is it? [01:06:24] Speaker B: I mean, kinda. Yeah. [01:06:28] Speaker A: I mean, that's what it's. It's social lubricant, I guess. [01:06:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, why don't. Why don't you allow us to be the social lubricant for more Spawn friendships? Huh? Huh? [01:06:40] Speaker A: Johnny, let's do it. [01:06:41] Speaker B: Yeah, let's do it. This week, this. We'd like to have y'all follow an individual who was Featured in the spawn360's spawning grounds. Eros. Fig A E R O S F I G. On Instagram, they're doing a lot of. A lot of action figure photography, a lot of customizing of action figures, and literally half of their stuff is spawned. They actually have a really cool one of it's Wolverine, and they recreated that. That Incredible Hulk cover, painted the Hulk on his claws. It's. It's executed incredibly. Yeah, it's some cool shit. You should go give them some love. They're doing some really fun stuff with action figures. [01:07:24] Speaker A: And they made that modern, the de powered Spawn action figures. What they did. Yeah, the custom. So that's cool. Yeah. Give them a follow for some awesome toy photography. [01:07:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:36] Speaker A: While you're over there on Instagram, make sure to give us a follow. We are regarding Swan Pod. Message us like us, subscribe to us, friend us. [01:07:50] Speaker B: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Also, while you're on the Instagram, on the. On the Internet, uh, Lonnie Bones does our music and it rocks. Lonnie Bones is really good. So find him where you find music. [01:08:05] Speaker A: And while you're looking up Lonnie Bones music, you want to send us an email. We are regarding spawnpodmail.com every week I like to ask a little question just to spur thoughts. And this way I would say, what did you guys think of the kiss in spawn360? Were you fine with it? Did you think it was weird and shoehorned in like we did? Are we clutching our pearls? Are we soy boys? [01:08:29] Speaker B: Am I overreacting? Yes or no, David? [01:08:32] Speaker A: Overreacting? [01:08:33] Speaker B: Have I taken it too personally? [01:08:36] Speaker A: You have. [01:08:37] Speaker B: Yeah, probably. Yeah, I. I guess. We are so boys, overreacting. But in my mind, it's a justified, righteous indignation, Johnny. That's the problem. [01:08:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:48] Speaker B: Hell, yeah, I think it's justified because. Christ, what the hell? [01:08:54] Speaker A: But, yeah, let us know what you think about the kiss. [01:08:57] Speaker B: Watch the. And if you happen to be of an artistic bent, if you could recreate that famous poster that half of every college student has on their walls. The Kiss. If you could recreate that. Oh, God, that poster with Spawn and Jessica Priest. That's a better reaction for her to have to just be like, oh, no, no, no. Because am I. Am I reading that. That. That artwork wrong. That the person being kissed is trying to get out of that kiss? Correct. Yes. That's the way I've always read it. [01:09:34] Speaker A: The Kiss. [01:09:35] Speaker B: The Kiss. [01:09:37] Speaker A: The one with the two girls. [01:09:39] Speaker B: Is it two girls? I thought. I thought. I just know it's two people, and it looks like one of them is trying to get away. [01:09:44] Speaker A: To me, the one I'm thinking of is just like a really hot fucking. I don't know what you're thinking of, because the Kiss is like, two girls in. Naked, like, laying next to each other, like, almost kissing. Oh, no one looks like they're trying to get out of it. [01:09:57] Speaker B: That. That we are. Yeah. This. This Klimt. The Klimt Kiss. Let me get you a copy of it, and I'll share it in the. Share it in the discord for you real quick. So that way we could be on the same page. Cause I'm definitely not talking about. No, no. Pornography. [01:10:18] Speaker A: That's the one I was thinking of. [01:10:20] Speaker B: She's like. She's next to a cliff, and she definitely looks like she's trying to get away. [01:10:26] Speaker A: I've never seen that before in my life. [01:10:28] Speaker B: So many people fucking have it. [01:10:31] Speaker A: I've never seen that before in my life. [01:10:33] Speaker B: Really? [01:10:34] Speaker A: No. [01:10:35] Speaker B: Okay, well, the artists. For. For those following along at home, the artist is Klimt, and it is called the Kiss. [01:10:45] Speaker A: All right, you want to see the one I was thinking of? Because it comes up first when you search the Kiss poster. [01:10:51] Speaker B: I mean, it also brings up the sailor one, but yes. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Did you see what I'm talking about? Look up the Kiss poster. It's the first thing that pops up. Oh, it's in stock at Walmart. That's hilarious. [01:11:06] Speaker B: When I search the Kiss poster, it brings up the Clinton. The Klemped picture of the Kiss. [01:11:12] Speaker A: Okay, well, I guess my. My algorithm is a little more horny than yours is. [01:11:16] Speaker B: And then immediately after that, just brings up posters of Kiss. [01:11:21] Speaker A: All right, well, I'm gonna. Okay, well, something's Wrong with my algorithm. [01:11:23] Speaker B: Then let me. Let me turn off my safe search. [01:11:26] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on. Here. There you go. I just emailed it to you. Oh. I emailed you a product link. Oh, God. Not email. [01:11:33] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, I've never. I've never seen that either. Johnny. [01:11:36] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. Is this, like, a Mandela effect thing? [01:11:39] Speaker B: We are. We are living in completely different Kiss verses. [01:11:44] Speaker A: Yeah, that was the ex. I mean, when you said the Kiss poster, that was like, there could be no other poster. That's hilarious. Wow. We're living. Is this a Mandela effect thing? [01:11:55] Speaker B: I don't know. [01:11:56] Speaker A: What. What is the name of the group of family bears when you were a kid? [01:12:00] Speaker B: The. The Berenstain Bears. I don't. I don't remember how. Johnny. I don't know how to spell fucking anything, so don't ask me how the Berenstain Bears was spelled when I was little. [01:12:11] Speaker A: It was Dean. It was Steed. [01:12:13] Speaker B: I can. I got. I've got my copy of the. The spooky old tree out in the living room. Really quickly. [01:12:18] Speaker A: No, it's gonna say Baron Stain, because the Matrix has shifted. [01:12:21] Speaker B: Well, but it's got all the. It's got, like, all the schmutz and. And damage that I've done to it, so. [01:12:26] Speaker A: But nobody, like, like, like, like everything got, like. The COVID was sitting there on your bookshelf, and it got sparkly and changed. [01:12:34] Speaker B: And it didn't fix any of the damage. Come on, Matrix. [01:12:37] Speaker A: Yeah, come on, Matrix. I don't know. Whatever the kiss, look it up. It's either an artistic poster, that David scene, or it's like a horny poster that I've seen. [01:12:49] Speaker B: Could there be. Could there be a better dichotomy of our. [01:12:52] Speaker A: I was gonna put both those posters as the episode art for my Instagram post for this. [01:12:57] Speaker B: I mean, I think it's necessary at this point. Yes. Wow. That goes to show you that the Internet isn't the same for everybody, huh? [01:13:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Why is mine show up more porny stuff? What is. What is wrong with me? What have I done? All my Instagram reels are horny too. Or they're AI, but they're usually just horny. [01:13:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think. I think the. The default setting is to make it horny, and you have to try very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very hard to make it not horny, because I've spent a. I've spent a lot of time trying to curate mine to just be dumb jokes and dog pictures, and it still tries to give me horny every day. [01:13:47] Speaker A: And it's like, that's one video of the Paramore lead singer dancing around and you're fucking cooked. [01:13:54] Speaker B: Well, I mean, Ashley Williams. Is that her name? [01:13:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. [01:14:00] Speaker B: Lots. Lots of people like Paramore. Yeah, I'm indifferent. Okay, so. So I guess. I guess the answer to your question is me. [01:14:09] Speaker A: Okay. I like Paramore. [01:14:13] Speaker B: I. I don't really have any strong feelings of it either way, so. [01:14:18] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I can't. I can't name one of their fucking songs, but when I hear them, I like them. I like that lead singer. [01:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:29] Speaker A: Haley Williams. [01:14:30] Speaker B: Haley, who is Ashley Williams? Oh, is that Brian Williams's daughter? Is Ashley Williams? [01:14:38] Speaker A: Yes. [01:14:38] Speaker B: Okay. [01:14:40] Speaker A: Allison Williams. [01:14:41] Speaker B: Allison. What? Jesus Christ. Then who's Ashley Williams? [01:14:44] Speaker A: I don't know. I think. [01:14:45] Speaker B: If you know who Ashley Williams is, please email us. Regarding Spotify. [01:14:52] Speaker A: Please email us all your porny college dorm posters. [01:14:56] Speaker B: Johnny, do you want to. Do you want to maybe look at a couple of posters of people kissing and then compare to whether we've seen the same poster next week? [01:15:07] Speaker A: Yeah, let's do that. We'll just become the poster podcast. We talk about which poster. Oh, Lord almighty. [01:15:13] Speaker B: Let's. Let's. Let's choose a couple. A couple of poster boys in the Spawniverse to. [01:15:19] Speaker A: Can you imagine a poster podcast that talks about posters? [01:15:23] Speaker B: And then this one, it's just. It's just a big creepy eye. [01:15:27] Speaker A: That's what we do, David. We just describe things. That's what we do. [01:15:32] Speaker B: That is what we do. Johnny. Don't sell a shirt, dude. [01:15:35] Speaker A: There's this great Mr. Show sketch. I always. I don't even know if I ever. [01:15:38] Speaker B: Mentioned this to you. [01:15:38] Speaker A: I gotta find it and send it to you. But it's this guy who's like. He's like, I'm. This is David or Bob on Mr. Show. Bob and David. Not you, David, but different David. Bob is like. He's like. The bit is that he's being, like, really performative about being charitable. And he's like, you know, I'm just. You know, I'm doing all these good things. And one of the things he does is. It's like, read Calvin Hobbes to blind people. And he's like. He's like. So it starts out and Calvin's in a classroom, and it's really funny, man. I wish you could see it, man. And then. And then he's in hell. And it's kind of scary, but it's still funny. Oh, I wish you could see it. And that's what we do when Did. [01:16:21] Speaker B: Calvin go to hell? [01:16:23] Speaker A: And Calvin is in hell. And it's kind of scary. He's always in hell. [01:16:28] Speaker B: I only, I, I, I know he's, he's spaceman, space spiff a lot. [01:16:31] Speaker A: Doesn't he go to hell occasionally? [01:16:33] Speaker B: I should probably read some Calvin and Hobbes again. You want to, you want to read some Calvin and Hobbes for next week and then talk about it? [01:16:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Calvin and Hell. [01:16:42] Speaker B: Okay. It should be good. Johnny. [01:16:45] Speaker A: No, let's read Spawn. [01:16:46] Speaker B: I think it's going to be the exact opposite of this episode next week. Because next week we'll be covering scorched 37 and kingspawn 41. The, the follow ups, the aftermath to the attack, the attack on the, the Vatican and the Scorched. And then the follow up to that, that demon who gets outed at his son's wedding. It's going to, it's a, it's a good couple of issues to cover. [01:17:17] Speaker A: They're both really good. [01:17:18] Speaker B: I'm very excited about that one. We'll see if we talk more about that. Those ones that we do about this. [01:17:24] Speaker A: We'll see. [01:17:25] Speaker B: We'll see. We'll see. Tune in next week to see. But yeah, that sounds, that sounds really good to me and Johnny. I think we done talked me out of anything to talk about, so I'm gonna have to wish you a very merry May the scorched be with you. [01:17:45] Speaker A: And also with you, David. [01:17:47] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [01:17:49] Speaker A: Hell yeah. [01:17:50] Speaker B: Yeah, a little smooch on it. [01:17:53] Speaker A: We talk a lot about kissing this episode. [01:17:56] Speaker B: It was a plot point. [01:17:59] Speaker A: It's true. And then we talked about the post of the kiss. We talked about kiss and go. You know what, David? I'm gonna be really controversial, okay? Kissing is fun. [01:18:06] Speaker B: Kissing is fun. You know what else is fun? The song Kiss by Prince. [01:18:11] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fun. You know what else is fun? [01:18:13] Speaker B: Kissing the band Kiss. The band Kiss. Yeah. They're wacky guys. They walked so ghosts could run. [01:18:22] Speaker A: They did. They did. They did. They did. And with that, I end with a kiss to you, Dave. I'm gonna kiss the microphone and imagine it's your beautiful forehead. Mwah. [01:18:32] Speaker B: Moi to you too. [01:18:37] Speaker A: Go kiss somebody, but only if they want you to. Not like Spawn did.