Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Together, Just the two of us against an entire army?
Why the hell not?
[00:00:32] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: And welcome to the Malibu. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best Spawn podcast. I am your co host, John Fisher.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: And I am your co host, David Williams. And Johnny.
Man, I was watching some Indiana Jones just now. Indiana Jones is hot.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: What were you watching?
[00:00:58] Speaker B: Raiders.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: He's hot.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Oh, man. And Mary and Ravenswood.
Name. Name a more perfect on screen couple than Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenswood.
[00:01:09] Speaker A: Han Solo and Princess Leia. I know they're not as perfect.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. I don't like the.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: They're good in Empire. But then Return the Jedi. He's just all like.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: He's. I mean, he's.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: They don't really interact much.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: He's a scruffy. He's a scruffy guy in both of them. So it's not the scruffy aspect.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: No. I love Marion Indy Jones.
She's a great character in that.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: She gets a monkey.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Of rip. Monkey assistant.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: Bad dates.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: Bad dates.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: I mean, he was a Nazi monkey, so he deserved it.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Hey, now he doesn't. He. He's just a little monkey.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: He did the Zig Heil.
He knows what he's doing.
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Man.
No. No quarter. No quarter given to go. Cute little monkey.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Not if he's a Nazi.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess that's true. God damn it.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: He rats her out.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that. God damn it.
Boo.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: Which part of the movie was it on?
[00:02:11] Speaker B: It was when they.
When they get on the ship, then it gets attacked by the. Or boarded by the submarine.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: He escapes.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So it was the well, where doesn't it hurt moment.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Yeah, it's beautiful. It's not the years, it's the mileage.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: Man. It holds up. It's real good.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Raiders is a fantastic film.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I love it.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: One of my favorites.
If we're speaking of favorites and scruffy people, we've got two favorite issues of Two Scruffy People today.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: I mean, but it is.
Oh, it's supposed. The two different. Two different people who are the same person.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: I don't know. We'll find out.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: They have the same. They have the same title at least.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: Maybe it's the same title.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Maybe Gunslinger Spawn is just like regular spawn. And each generation has its own gunslinger spawn.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see that. And we have two of them that we know of.
[00:03:06] Speaker B: Two of them.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Maybe you're the same person. Or maybe not.
[00:03:09] Speaker B: We don't know because Javi's just the.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: Body that he inhabits. So maybe he is Tobias Yeah. And he's wondering about his sister Amy, so it's got to be Tobias. Yeah, but why is he called a Javi?
[00:03:20] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know, Johnny. I do not know. We haven't gotten there yet.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: They haven't gotten there yet.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: They haven't explained it.
[00:03:27] Speaker A: They haven't explained it. They're too busy. There's too much stuff going on. David, you gotta rescue godson's daughter.
Remember, Godson's daughter. We gotta rescue her.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: You gotta tell Jessica Priest to screw off. I got a. I got a man's daughter to save.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: I got a man's daughter to save.
An angel's daughter to save.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: Somehow, Palpatine's return.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: That is a little bit how it feels.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: We're just like these guys. A daughter we're supposed to give a shit about. I thought this guy was just like, a cackling villain.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Who we already got rid of.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: He died in King Spawn. They're bringing back all these people.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: Yeah. He died a glorious death in King Spawn because he was an awful piece.
And now we're having to.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: Yeah, all these pieces of. Coming back, like, sin.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Design is cool, at least.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: No, it's all these. You can't cancel anyone anymore, Dave. There's no such thing as cancel culture. You try to cancel Sin, try to cancel Godsen, they just come back.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: Well, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: And they sell tickets to their shows, to their own websites.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: That's just the way of the gunslinger, I guess. Johnny.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: Can't cancel A gunslinger.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: Can't cancel. Can't keep a good gun down.
Oh, maybe. Maybe not that. Maybe I. Maybe I regret saying that.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: Can't keep a good gun down. Yeah. David. Yeah. Shoot people.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: That's what we need more in America these days, that kind of attitude.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Oh, what can you do?
[00:04:57] Speaker A: You should keep a good gun down.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: Yeah, you should. You should definitely. Preferably locked away in a box somewhere that's not your home.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: I mean, you can have a gun in your home.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess, sometimes.
[00:05:08] Speaker A: I'm moving to Oklahoma, David. I'm gonna have to, right?
[00:05:11] Speaker B: We're gonna have to. They're gonna. They're gonna have those traffic stops where they're like, do you have a gun on you? And you're like, no, you're going to jail.
[00:05:19] Speaker A: You have to have a gun.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: Have, like, a stack of. A stack of the cheapest revolvers they can find. So that way you have them out.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, everyone Else has got a gun there. I gotta get one.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, probably. It's gonna be really easy, I promise you.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: Yeah, go to the gun show.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: They'll give you. Yeah, just wait for Wanamakers and you can. You could do a good deal in the parking lot, Johnny.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: Yeah, they.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: They allow you to do parking lot deals so you don't have to pay for the table space and make your table rent for the show.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Wow.
They're doing parking lot deals? Well, at the Ghost show, they're selling t shirts for $20.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: Well, holy crap, that's a great price.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: If I would have had a $20, would have bought one. I've had a $20 bill.
Maybe they're bootlegs. Probably, but.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: Probably.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: But they wear the same.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I have a friend who is very, very happy with his.
His All State arena ghost shirt.
[00:06:17] Speaker A: Which one did he get?
[00:06:18] Speaker B: He got the. He got the. The tour stop specific one that had the outline of Illinois with the star where they were.
And actually referred to it as like, the Hyperium Dome or whatever. Whatever it used to be called.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Because it used to be called something else before it was called the All State.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:35] Speaker B: And that's apparently what he kept referring to it as all night.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:40] Speaker B: I have a friend who's a big nerd about those kind of things. And he fucking loved it.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: That's good. Yeah, Papa was. It was funny because he was like, yeah, all these shows we played and he was mentioning the place. He's like. But that wasn't fucking me anyway.
Because he's new Papa.
[00:06:54] Speaker B: Because he's new papa.
[00:06:55] Speaker A: Papa 5. He's a kind of a sleazy.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:07:02] Speaker A: There's some sleazy in this issue.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: This, like, this sleazy ghost, man.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: That's. Oh, Johnny, Johnny. We're getting ahead of ourselves. We're getting ahead of ourselves. First, what are we. What are we doing here?
[00:07:15] Speaker A: Oh, we are regarding Spawn, where each week we bring you two issues from Spawn's universe. Indiana Jones news, Ghost News, any Oklahoma news, and gun news. Except when we don't.
This week is no different. We have two issues for you. And it's a Rootin Tootin gun. I mean, I should get a gun. I should be shooting a gun in the air right now.
Yeah. Just like I don't have any upstairs neighbors. I'm not gonna hit anybody.
It's fine.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: I mean, until it's not.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: Until it's not. I wait till the 4th of July. Probably get away with it.
[00:07:50] Speaker B: They would never hear it probably. It's a.
It's not a very hard game to play. Gunshot or fireworks.
[00:07:57] Speaker A: No, it's pretty easy.
[00:07:58] Speaker B: You're almost. You're almost immediately good at it. And it's sad that it's a game that you could be good at. Yeah, but, but okay, so we're doing that, Johnny. And before we start talking about this weirdo in the book, we got to start talking about the covers first.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Well, we got to talk about what we're talking about.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, we're too.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: We're talking about Deadly Tales Number seven.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: Now I'm getting ahead of myself.
[00:08:17] Speaker A: Deadly Tales of The gunslinger number seven and gunslinger vanilla. Gunslinger 44.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: Vanilla's still flavored, though.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: It's still.
This has got a flavor, and that flavor is Todd McFarlane.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: It is, it is, it's. It's.
Do you like it's. Yeah, you gotta like the Todd McFarlane in your, in your sandwich or else you're not going to want to eat it.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: You got your Todd McFarlane into my Carlo Barberi Barbary. Didn't we discover his Barbary?
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Yeah, because that's what Todd McFarlane said in an interview once as he calls him Carlo Barbary.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: And so I feel like that's what I should say.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Yeah, the Todd father says it.
[00:09:01] Speaker B: Todd father says it. I mean.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: We just got to get him on the podcast so that way we can settle this debate once and for all. Johnny.
[00:09:09] Speaker A: Probably not that hard.
Yeah, it'll probably be easier once we're on a similar schedule. David. Soon.
Yeah, we can have a lot more guests, I think.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
Having like three discreet one hour spots throughout an entire week that you can meet up, it's not great options for other people.
[00:09:30] Speaker A: It's not. Sometimes it's not great options for you.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Sometimes not for you.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: I'm the plural you.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: Oh, oh, for. Okay.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: Yeah, for us.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: For us, like right now.
[00:09:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm tired.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: I mean, we all get tired from time to time, Johnny. That's just life.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: I got a frappe with an espresso shot.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. Is that some.
Some caramel sauce or some chocolate sauce?
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Chocolate. Some mocha frappe.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. Hey, I love a mocha.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: It's like a chocolate shake for breakfast.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it's wonderful.
It's. Man, it's really good. You can also bring it back around and have a jamocha shake for breakfast that has like no coffee in it.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: I used to love a jamocha shake.
They still around?
[00:10:19] Speaker B: I haven't. I haven't been to an Arby's in years. The only Arby's I knew about in town was in the state of Illinois building down in the food court. But since they sold it and closed it and are renovating it, it's gone.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: It's gone.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: You'll have to.
[00:10:34] Speaker A: Who has a big hat? Arby's.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: Arby's, yeah.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Just like gunslinger.
[00:10:37] Speaker B: Gunslinger sized hat.
I'm surprised we haven't had a.
Oh, I guess probably because of licensing. I bet the Todd father would love to have Javi roll up to an.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Arby's and be like, whoa, whoa, look at that hat.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: That'll be in the movie. So that way they can pay for advertising and it'll help the budget.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: They'll have a gunslinger meal at Arby's.
They got the Wednesday meal at Wendy's.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess that's true. They have these. These tie in. These tie ins are.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: The tie ins are getting out of control.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: It's work. These tie ins are getting out of control, Johnny. There's too many of them. We got to start covering them like this. Deadly Tales of the Gunslinger, Number seven.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I have the A cover by Jean Enrico Bonacoursi.
[00:11:22] Speaker B: I also have the A cover by. By Gian Enrico Gianni.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: It is.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: It is pretty dope. Yeah, it is. First off, it's all blues and purples and deep reds.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: Kind of some Mark Spears colors.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Yeah, very much so.
And, well, we see. We see a gunslinger with a very tall hat.
Not quite RB sized, but close.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: He got a couple roast bee sandwiches in there.
[00:11:47] Speaker B: I mean, it would be a great place to store them. You could stack them on top of each other.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you get the five for five. Put them all in there.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Just all in there. Oh, man.
And, you know, he's got his.
A big knife out. He's got one of his guns out, and he's fighting some critters, some hell.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: Dogs or, like, things.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: They got claws and, like, lipless mouths with sharp teeth and horns.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: He's blown one to pieces with his necro bullets.
[00:12:19] Speaker B: They got, like, four eyes and they're crawling down from the top of the trees.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: They're coming after him.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: Yeah, and it's got a little bit of the.
A little bit of the puppeteer Lee, where there's the one strong light source, but then there's, you know, there's a. There's a little bit of light in the back, but. But Tobias is awash in the glow from his necro bullets.
It's pretty awesome.
[00:12:45] Speaker A: It's great.
I Love the colors. Just really pops. You usually see these kind of colors on Gunslinger.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely not on Gunslinger. No. Unless it's Mark Spears.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:12:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And Johnny, the V cover. The V cover is one of those homage covers.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: Looks like a western movie poster.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Yeah. So first off, it's done by Marco Falia, so it's excellent work.
Very, very good.
But the movie it is referring to in homage is Return to Hallelujah.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: Who did that poster?
[00:13:20] Speaker B: That was by Casario.
Renato Casario. Yeah, Renato.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: He's a big movie poster guy.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: Yeah, big movie poster. Like a lot of westerns, A lot of those old space operas, Never ending story poster. Okay, yeah, it's. It's great. But the. The original poster has, you know, a man, you know, sitting with his spurred feet up on a broken barrel that's got a guy in it. He's just like. Ah.
Very much like the. The Marco Falia cover here, only and this is a demon. And this demon is much smaller than the man in the barrel on the original.
He's a big boy, Johnny.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: He'S a big boy.
But, yeah, and it's good. It's got that striking white background.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: No, it's cool.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: Pretty great.
Tall hat.
[00:14:18] Speaker A: It's like the third or fourth movie poster homage we've gotten as a gunslinger cover.
[00:14:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do it.
Yeah, I think they have one every few months.
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Seems like it. Yeah, there's that one reason the hammock and his feet were showing.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Mm. Yeah. Yeah, that one. I don't remember which one that one was, though.
It's one of them. We talked about it. I know that.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: One of the 44.
So we pop this sucker open. Yeah, we do got the credits. Script plot yet again by Jimmy Palmiotti.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Hell yeah.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: Art by Patrick Reynolds, colors by Lewis ct.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: Lettering, Tom Wojkowski. Oh, yeah, we already covered the covers.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: Most definitely.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: Creative Director is Todd McFarlane and editor in chief is Thomas Healy.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Yes, they be.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: Previously in Deadly Tales of the Gunslinger. The gunslinger has been taken captive by a mysterious woman, and now he's getting prepared for his own execution.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: That's a position I would never like to be in, Johnny.
No.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: Not fun.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: No.
I mean, I can hardly make it through Hallowed be Thy name without getting the heebie jeebies, but to have that actually be real life.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: It's like the James Franco meme. First time, got the gallows.
[00:15:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Pretty funny.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: Pretty funny.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, it's not funny, Johnny.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: What?
[00:15:46] Speaker B: This current arc of the Gunslinger.
Very Few jokes.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Yeah, not really very joking, Very few.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: Jokes, but really fucking good.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: Yeah, man.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: So yeah, we should just get right into it because it's a. It's a lot of good story here when we open.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: When we saw last time, that flashback where Tobias is a young boy, massacres a native encampment.
Helps that jerk. General.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Colonel Lane.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: Yep.
And this is like the aftermath of it.
We saw him go into this tent and I guess it's a teepee.
So I'm going to this teepee and not execute the young girl.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: And leave her in there.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: And this is.
Takes place immediately afterward where he's gun still in hand, exiting the teepee. And everything else is just fire and flame and bodies.
And then. And then above it all, like in the smoke of the fire from the camp, is just the gunslinger spawn watching.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: His own memory almost, man.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it's intense.
It's intense.
Beautifully, beautifully narrated page by Mr. Jim Palmiotti there.
And so Tobias is standing there and Colonel Lee comes up and he's like, yeah, you did it. Hell yeah, we're doing it. Yeah. Woo. He's all excited. Look at him. Oh, man. He's like, now you gotta. Now you gotta light it on fire. You gotta light the teepee on fire. And he's like proudly handing over this torch. Jesus God, Johnny. I don't like this guy. He's a butthole.
[00:17:35] Speaker A: Yeah, he sucks.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
Like he's. He feels like he's. It feels like he thinks he's having a father son moment with Tobias. With. Yeah, Tobias here.
And it's. Oh, it's icky. It's gross.
It's.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: He's like, why aren't you burning?
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Are you sheltering someone?
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
Then he takes the. Takes the torch back and he's like, you take this gun. You take this gun in there and you shoot her right now. And so he sends Tobias back in. Tobias opens. Opens the flap of the teepee and shoots at the ground next to the girl's head.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: She's gone.
[00:18:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, okay. I guess that's. That's her family members. Oh, yeah.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: It's her brother and father.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: So he just. He just shoots into the ground and sets it on fire and then watches as it burns her having escaped. And then we go from young Tobias's eyes, watching the teepee catch and burn and turn to cinder. And then we cut to current Tobias's eyes, which can never not see everything.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: He's all. He's like a corpse, man.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: He's got green, glowing green eyes.
[00:18:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, boy.
And he says he's telling. He's telling this lady that he remembers her and everything he did. So, you know, he's got this coming. He knows it.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Yeah. He owns up to it.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And she's like, well, you're. You're right. I'm not going to spare you. And fires.
And then out of nowhere, Johnny, a hand comes and blocks the bullet.
It's a little bit of deus ex machina here.
Yes.
[00:19:19] Speaker A: The little hand of God comes down and blocks the bullet.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Quite literally. Because we've got. The action of the story has stopped and we're now in paused time.
And this. This guy who is obviously. Is this the.
The first. This is the first guy he fought, right?
[00:19:41] Speaker A: I think so, yeah. The first issue.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: The guy with the red eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
And he starts saying, oh, this guy. I got to keep this guy long enough for him to do the thing I need him to do. And it's just. Look at all. Look at everything that I've been doing to make sure he stays on the right.
On the right path for our plan.
Whose plan? I don't know.
But we see that he has been all like this man. The. The weirdo beasts, the reporter, the reporter, the. The madam, and all. All of them in one. They're also acquainted with the wolves. And the wolves are like, yeah, we know you and we don't give a fucking shit. We're just going to attack you.
And then he's like, yeah, fair enough. I deserved that. I deserve that. I know.
So we're dealing with, like, personifications of, like, fate and the forces of destiny and obviously heaven and hell and. It's fun. It's fun. Johnny.
[00:20:43] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm just wondering what this guy's deal is.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, those wolves. Tear him a new one. Oh, rip his nose.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: Lips off. Rip his nose off.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: Oh. But yeah, who's. So this guy? This guy, obviously he refers to a master, but so who. Who is this? Is this like a middle. A middle.
A middle devil? A middle management devil, or is this.
[00:21:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Because we know gunslinger knew Cogliostro at one time prior to being sent to the future.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: So maybe this. I mean, this seems too connected to a greater power source to. To be coeostro since he was kicked out for so many. So many years.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: Yes.
Or maybe this guy's got some definite powers.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, he could stop time.
He could stop time. He can stop bullets. He can. He can empty the revolver and put it back in the lady's hands before he gets a.
Lets time go again.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: You like, reshape his face.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah, he.
I like how. How he also. He puts gunslinger's. Gunslinger's mask and hat back on.
[00:21:56] Speaker A: I know. He's like, here you go.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Boop.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: Puts the hat on his head.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And then. And then time starts again as he says, it's all on you now. And then we're back, and the lady clicks the revolver a couple of times and she's like, huh? And Tobias, newly freed, knocks her, knocks her unconscious. And he says, sorry. And then he ties her up, puts her on his horse, takes her and her horse to another location.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: Never follow hippie to a second location.
[00:22:33] Speaker B: I've never, never follow a. A demon man with a tall hat and a very scary face to a second location either. It's probably good life advice.
But then we get another. Another.
Another fire scene where Tobias has caught a rabbit. He's cooking it. The native lady is tied up, and they're having a little conversation.
And it's. She's like, I don't understand what happened. My gun was fully loaded. And Tobias says probably the funniest thing in this issue.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: Guardian Angel. I guess.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Yeah. So there's a little bit of humor for this one, Johnny.
Yeah, but so they're just sitting there trying to figure out, you know, what happened, what they're going to do because the.
Because of their past. Shared. Shared past. And how basically both of their lives were irreparably damaged by one man.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: The aforementioned mentioned Lane.
[00:23:31] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Because he.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: The night before the massacre, he slaughtered his soldiers.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: Yeah. So we. We get a little.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: A little blamed it on the natives. Yeah, he did a false flag operation.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Yeah, he sure did. He sure did. And Tobias found this out because, you know, back immediately after the. The massacre, the. The army is back at the. At the. At the fort, and they're all celebrating, drinking like there was no tomorrow.
And.
And young Tobias is just like a whole bunch of drunk old men all hyped up on. On battle. Juice? No, thank you. I need some fresh air.
[00:24:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I need to get out of here.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Could you imagine how stuffy that room would be?
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Sweaty.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Not. Not good. Not good. Dad? No, no thank you.
So Tobias lets himself out of the mess hall and wanders over to the little graveyard over at the corner of the base. There's a guy sitting there just, you know, drinking and the grave with a.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: With a gun.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: With a gun.
[00:24:39] Speaker A: Not a good combination.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: No, no, definitely not. And he. He confesses to young Tobias that he did it. And Lane told him to do it.
And if he. If he hadn't done it, Lane would have done something far worse to this man.
[00:24:58] Speaker A: You tell his secret?
[00:24:59] Speaker B: His secret? Yeah. Which we. He doesn't even. He keeps his secret, Johnny.
[00:25:04] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: But still. Even so, it was too much, and he just shoots himself in the head right there in front of Tobias. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Talk about situations you don't ever want to be in. Johnny either. Situ. Either of those situations is not a good one.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: Oh, man. So Tobias just kind of, like, numb now to all of the killing that's been around him.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Just lots of killing.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Picks up. Picks up the pistol and then walks his way over to the colonel's cabin where he is passed out.
He wakes the colonel up with the gun in his face, and he's like, what do.
And then Tobias freezes and then drops the gun and runs.
[00:25:53] Speaker A: He couldn't do it.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: Couldn't do it. He had his chance. He couldn't do it. I don't. I don't think I could. I could. I don't think I could do it either, Johnny. I don't.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: It'd be tough. Shoot a man is bad.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's not exactly what I wanted to think about so early in the morning. Johnny.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: Put yourself in the situation.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: Damn. But. Yeah. And so then.
Javi. Or not. Damn it. It's the first time we've happened this episode. Tobias says, you know, there's all. There's all the information I have for you. I know it doesn't absolve me from anything that I've been a part of, but it's something that I've been trying. He's, like, been trying to provide restitution, at least in some way, for all of the. All of the. This that he's done.
But he knows. He knows it's not gonna make him any less guilty of having done it.
And then he's like, someone's coming.
And then who could it be? I don't know. This guy just, like, swaps.
He's just there, and he's like, aha.
There's, like, good ears you have, but it feels like he was already there.
[00:26:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: And he gets the. He gets the draw on Tobias, so. And has Tobias dispose of his revolvers, and then just starts being a real sleazeball.
Being like, can I take some. Can I take some dinner? And maybe something else.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: Jen's looking at the poor woman.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: Tobias is like, you can have some rabbit. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. On, now. I'm gonna be a nasty men.
[00:27:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
So she headbutts him into the fire.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah.
And then Tobias pulls a knife and lunges at him and yells, go to hell. And so while this man is in the fire, catching on fire, Tobias stabs.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Him, stabbing him in the.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Right in the chest. Oh, man. Oh, that's hardcore.
[00:27:47] Speaker A: What a way to go.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: Oh, man, Tobias is bad ass Johnny. And that guy is.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: That guy made a mistake going to their campsite.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, man. Crime doesn't pay, they say, Johnny. And this is why.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: And so. So then, you know, Tobias is like, well, I guess I should probably unbind your hands since people are now outright attacking us.
And as soon as he. He cuts her bonds, she sucks right in the face. And he's like, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay, yeah, that's. That was. That was necessary.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: And she's like, where's this lame guy? He's like, oh, he's stationed somewhere in Utah.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:27] Speaker A: She's like, well, as long as he's alive, we both have a job to finish. Oh, yeah, look at the opening quote together. Just two of us against an entire army.
Why the hell not?
[00:28:38] Speaker B: They ride their horses away from the campsite. And the man burning to death, the.
[00:28:45] Speaker A: Guy with the red eyes.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: It's the red eye guy. Oh.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: Oh, the whole time.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: The whole time. He came back and then like he's staring and watching them go. And the two protector wolves come out as well and watch as they leave.
And then. Simple to end the issue.
[00:29:05] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:29:06] Speaker B: Real good. Real good. Then we get the Call of Duty toy anti new generation of stories. New you ad. Look at that.
There it is. For all the spin offs. The Mortal Kombat 1 ad with that super cool, super cool sub zero.
And then image Classics ad on the back.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: All the ads.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: All the ads.
[00:29:26] Speaker A: All our favorite ads.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: Then that's Deadly Tales of the Gunslinger seven. Shall we?
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
It was awesome.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: That was so good. Oh, man, it's very good.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: Classic western.
[00:29:39] Speaker B: You'd love to see it, Johnny.
I know, I love to see it. I occasionally.
[00:29:44] Speaker A: She's got Skibidi Riz, baby.
[00:29:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Ohio Riz, more like it.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Ohio Riz.
Next up we've got Gunslinger 44.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Yes, indeed.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: And I've got the excellent Jorn Barons. A cover.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: I. I also have the. A cover, Johnny.
One of those things that you kind of got to get. The Bjorn Barons.
[00:30:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it's excellent. It's like this crazy hobby in front of like a Cthulhu creature thing.
[00:30:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's Eldritch Javi Eldritch hobby. It's Lovecraftian and it's gooey 3D. Yeah, it's just, like, massively detailed.
Yeah, I like that. It almost kind of looks like Javi's suit.
If, you know, if the K7 Letha is a living suit, it's probably kind of always wiggling around a little bit, and it makes it look like it's wriggling around a little bit, so feeling like.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:31:01] Speaker B: Which is. Is a terrifying thing that I hadn't yet considered, Johnny. But if Spawn's, like, always, like, wriggling when he's standing still.
That is so menacing.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Yeah. This. Who's always living just like.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: Like there's. There's always some activity.
Oh, intense, scary stuff. Yeah, pretty scary. Pretty scary cover, all things considered there, Johnny.
It's thrown me for a.
A bit of an existential loop.
[00:31:32] Speaker A: And the V cover, also pretty cool.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: Yeah. It's the Federico Sabatini cover. And it is Javi on a flaming horse.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: In a field of fire.
That sounds reductive when I say it that way, but this is.
That's what it is. You have to see it to get the full effect of it.
[00:31:54] Speaker A: It is very, like, anime style, kind of.
[00:31:56] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. This would be the. The. This would be the box art if they ever made a gunslinger spawn. My Little Pony.
[00:32:03] Speaker A: Yes, it is the box art for the My Little Pony.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: It's incredible.
Good color.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: Yeah. A lot of fun.
They're very different, but probably.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: Probably closer in tone to the actual action that happens inside the issue, but still very good.
So inside those covers, Johnny, we got some. We got some credits. And where they're due, we will put them.
So first up, script plot by Tom McFarlane, art by Kohler Barbary, colors by Ivan Newtons, lettering by the Tom father himself, Mr. Tom Wasikowski.
We covered the covers. Todd McFarlane is the creative director, and the editor in chief is Mr. Thomas Healey.
Previously in Gunslinger.
Gunslinger and Godsend decide to go on a suicide mission to save Godson's daughter.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: Gotta save her.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: That is. That is pretty much exactly what happened.
[00:33:05] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: And this left them.
[00:33:07] Speaker A: They showed up at the angel headquarters and were fighting people.
[00:33:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And much like Deadly Tales 7, this ends. This starts like, the moment the previous issue ended.
Like, no gap in time, no nothing. Just, like, right into the next one.
[00:33:24] Speaker A: Right into it.
[00:33:25] Speaker B: The cackling. The. The cackling of the intercom in Javi's head and Jessica Priest saying, javi, get your butt.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: Get your ass over here.
[00:33:33] Speaker B: Get your butt here right this minute.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Young man, have you been reading Swan 363s and 366?
[00:33:43] Speaker B: We haven't even gotten that far, Johnny. 366.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: That's still in the future for us because. Yeah, we just covered 365.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: Yep. Last week.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Very exciting. But we do get to see Jessica Priest here. Jessica Priest's talking. I like how her pressing the implant near her ear makes her. Has her pinky kind of pop out a little bit so it looks like she's doing the old phone.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: Like the telephone with her hand. Yeah.
[00:34:08] Speaker B: Hello. Click.
And while this call is happening, we got Angelic he man and Battle Cat. Just, like, tearing at all these angels in the boardroom.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: Yeah. The Silencer.
[00:34:21] Speaker B: His name was Laser. Wasn't his name Laser?
[00:34:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. We like to call him Silencer later.
[00:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: What the hell? His name's Laser. You're right.
Why does this guy call him Silencer?
[00:34:33] Speaker B: I don't know. Is that, like, his title?
[00:34:36] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: Is that, like. There's many Silencers and this current silencer is Laser?
[00:34:43] Speaker A: I have no idea.
[00:34:48] Speaker B: But anyway. Anyway, Javi has chosen Nat Fuck Jessica Priest. I'm gonna help Godson with his daughter.
And so he immediately picks up a chair and throws it at an angel, who then, you know, throws it right back at him. And, you know, Javi's just. He's. He doesn't have his guns with him.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Why does he have his guns?
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Because he left him. He was like, we're not gonna.
So, A. He's too weak to recharge.
[00:35:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. He can't make the bullets. Right.
[00:35:15] Speaker B: And so he's just like, you know what? Fuck it. I don't need him right now. And so they're back in the barn with his horse friend.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: Right?
[00:35:21] Speaker B: And so. So he. He will need to. Johnny, he will need to improvise.
I do love just the panel with the.
Says improvise.
That's a good little bit of. That's a good little bit of comic there. That's fun.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Yeah, he makes, like, some spears out of some rods of the chair.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Pretty great. And then while that's going on, Godsend is just beating the hell out of this angel. Or the heaven. Beating the heaven out of that angel.
[00:35:50] Speaker A: He cuts him in half.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
And like. Like, not only cuts him in half, but also cuts one of his hands off from his arm. So it's just, like, insult upon indignity.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: He's cuts him to pieces.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: So many pieces.
Like, he didn't have to. He didn't have to lose that hand, Johnny. He was already cut in twain.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:11] Speaker B: But then immediately after that, this big bulking man comes in with like a fucking.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: Overkill looking guy.
[00:36:22] Speaker B: This guy's hilarious.
[00:36:25] Speaker A: Yeah, Some giant hulk angel.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: He's like a. He's like a cyberpunk. A cyberpunk Cenobite. Like even more cyberpunk than cd.
[00:36:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: Oh boy. But he's shaped like a thumb and laser, AKA the Silencer, is, you know, doing some gymnastic fighting.
And then while he's distracted, some bozo goes over and picks up his pet palace.
I was like, what the hell is.
[00:36:57] Speaker A: First of all, I forgot he had a tiger for a second. I was like, where did this tiger come from?
Chucks it out the window.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: And then he's like, just immediately like my pet. And then Todd McFarlane jumps, basically. Then no, while Silencer is distracted. We got this other stuff going on over here.
So it's totally just a mechanism to get Silencer out of the room.
[00:37:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: Who throws a cat out of a window?
[00:37:28] Speaker A: I don't know who. There's a giant like lion thing.
[00:37:32] Speaker B: But I also do like how on his way out, out the window after his friend Silencer just like blows through that guy and cuts him in half too.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: What's he gonna do? Catch him?
[00:37:43] Speaker B: I don't know.
We'll have to come back.
[00:37:46] Speaker A: Is he just dead? They never come back.
I don't know.
They both die. The tiger and him just fall out the window.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: They've been around for all these hundreds of years, all these millennia, just to fall off a building.
[00:38:03] Speaker A: It's like, you know, the other guys aim for the bushes.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
Oh, dang. Okay.
Yeah. Then Javi is going around stabbing angels in the face.
That big, that big burly guy comes in and then Gutson gets all dramatic and he says, you'll not keep me from my daughter. And then turns off the light. And then when the enemies get back to the light switch and turn it on. Oh my God. Godsend and Javier gone.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: They're gone.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: They're gone. And then the, the weird thumb looking guy says, bring me their heads. And then we got Javi and Godsend running through the corridors of this office building. And then Godson's being like, that's her, that's Janelle, that's my daughter. And Javi's like, wait, hold on a second. That's a trap. But Godson says, yeah, no, I'm spring it.
So Gadson turns around the corner and sees his daughter holding guns. Up to him and says, is it really you, dad? And then she's like, oh, my God, Daddy. And drops her guns and is like, oh, daddy, I want to hug you.
And then Gadson's like, okay, yeah, yeah, this sounds like a good idea. Yeah, let's do this.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Then as soon as they're embraced, godson's daughter Janelle turns into this gooey multi limbed thing.
[00:39:23] Speaker A: It's like black like insectoid creature thing.
[00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah, like a transformer demon.
And it. It just like, eats him.
[00:39:32] Speaker A: Yeah, it like sucks him into its body.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: Yeah, just like.
And then Javi's like, you gotta. You gotta hold your breath, Godson.
See, I've fought these before. It's the only way to survive.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: This part's so crazy. There's all these rules about being inside this thing that, like, just come out of nowhere. It's like if you're in there for a minute and you don't breathe. Sucked in forever.
[00:39:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So, but it. The minute only starts after both of them are in there.
So let's go if one of them.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: Has to get out within a minute.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: So let's go over the rules. So the first rule is you can't let them get inside of you, or it kills you and takes over you.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: So you gotta hold your breath.
[00:40:09] Speaker B: So you gotta hold your breath. And while you're in there, it starts breaking you down. So you've got. Regardless of. Of any countdown, you've got a time limit because your body's going to start breaking down. But then number three, as soon as two of you are in there, you have a minute before one of you has to get out or you both die.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: Yep.
And they know this.
[00:40:30] Speaker B: And then, oh, boy.
So. So yeah, Godson gets sucked up and Javi's like, oh, this guy, this.
He goes the. The Agent K route again. And he says, eat me.
[00:40:43] Speaker A: Eat me. This is. What's this? Wait, this is exactly what Spawn just did.
[00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:48] Speaker A: In Todd McFarlane. And he wrote that too.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:53] Speaker A: Get sucked into a big guy's chest. It's the exact same thing.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: I think we know what Todd's nightmares have been recently, I guess.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Get sucked into the big guy's chest or his fantasies.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: Oh, so. So like, Javi's got a necroplasmic torch and, you know, he's. He's just fighting the demon enough that it will actually be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to eat you. Oh, yeah. And then it sucks him up and he holds his breath. And then we get the.
We get the rule of the countdown.
I like how it just, like, it starts and it just says a clock has started. And then it's, like, a limited amount of time. And then, like, right before they escape or right before Godsend escapes, it says his minute is almost up. And it's like, they didn't tell us there was only a minute. Yeah, you just said o'. Clock.
And then Godson's wearing a life alert, the heavenly life alert. And Javi has impress it. And then.
I don't. I don't know. I don't know. Because then, like, Javi fastball specials Godsend out of this thing's movie mouth, basically. And then once, you know.
So I guess, ostensibly, Javi has a little bit more time now.
[00:42:12] Speaker A: Yes.
Does the minute reset when one of you gets out?
[00:42:17] Speaker B: I don't know. Well, I. I think there's only a minute countdown if there's two of you. If the. If there's just one of you, you're just at the whims of the digestive acid. So I guess it goes fast or slow.
Okay, comics.
And then Godson, like, doesn't have a chance to even be like, whoo. I made it out because his daughter is back, and she is stabbing him in the back because she is a heavenly hunter angel lady.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Yep. She's got the ribbons.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: Yeah, the ribbons and the. The big, like, spawn killer staff and the. The wings and the hair and the flowy robes. And it says at this time, this Janelle is real.
[00:43:05] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: Then we get the necroplasm meter.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: And then we get the necroplasm meter. That's it.
Also, it's weirdly.
No, never mind. I was just getting this. I thought this was mainline spawn for a second. I was just, like, lost in the spawn.
[00:43:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it's less than the sponsors, the spas.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: Yeah, he sucks the guy into the chest yet again. I didn't realize that.
[00:43:28] Speaker B: That's the fun of reading these all together, Johnny. You can appear to peer into the tod Father's mind.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: That'd be great. If the next Sam and Twitch, like, Sam sucks somebody into his chest.
She said everything. You're like, jesus Christ, man. Get over this.
He sucks a ham sandwich into his chest.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: That's how. That's just how he eats now. That's how. It's how he. How he's. How he's trimmed down. He can only eat what, his chest. Chest Hulk.
Yes.
So, yeah, then we get a spawning ground. Presents. Some fan art. Some good fan art. There's a Javi. There is a.
An owl A last poor Yoricking with Savage Dragon's head.
[00:44:12] Speaker A: That was really cool.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: That one is really cool.
Then there's some gunslinger spawn, blank cover action and a shoelace. A shoelaced meatball face spawn. That's pretty cool. And then just a dark, brooding spawn.
[00:44:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:44:31] Speaker B: You know, the classic need more spawns universe, Johnny.
[00:44:35] Speaker A: Don't miss these ongoing titles.
[00:44:36] Speaker B: Yeah, don't. Oh, then what's that?
That wasn't an answer, Johnny. That wasn't a yes or a no. If you need more spawns.
[00:44:43] Speaker A: Okay, I do need more Spawns universe.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: Thought you were. I thought you were flagging due to the.
This particular issue and the last issue we read last week.
[00:44:54] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, I do need more spawns universe.
[00:44:57] Speaker B: Okay. Okay, good. Good.
That's the correct answer.
Then we get the Todd Father's not.
[00:45:03] Speaker A: Gonna get me down, even though he doesn't understand or have control over his own creation anymore.
[00:45:09] Speaker B: Yeah. There's some fun stuff in this, though. I mean.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. We'll talk about it.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: If it's classic sad, then the toy ad on the back is the Call of Duty ad.
[00:45:19] Speaker A: Call of Duty spawn, baby.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: Spawn of Call of Duty. So, yeah, Johnny, that's the. That's gunslinger number 44.
And it being a lazy morning for some dogs, Johnny, I need to rate these dogs as being very sleepy.
[00:45:35] Speaker A: I'm a sleepy dog, too.
[00:45:36] Speaker B: They are five Z's out of five.
But those aren't the only puppies we need to rate. Johnny, what we got here? Some comic puppies that need to be rated.
[00:45:47] Speaker A: It's time to rate the puppies.
First up today, we have Deadly Tales, the gunslinger number seven.
Continuing the story of Javi. Or fuck. God damn it. Continuing the story of Tobias as he gets attacked by this mysterious native woman.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: Who has no name yet.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: Has no name.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: She's the woman with no name, the.
[00:46:11] Speaker A: Woman with no name. But, yeah, the art from Patrick Reynolds. Just so pitch perfect for this western story. This, like, grim Western tale. Yeah. And it's just, like, grim and gritty and, like, there's all the ripped flesh of Javi's face and the ripped flesh of the strangers with the red eyes getting his face ripped off. It's just so grim and gritty.
[00:46:32] Speaker B: It's gnarly.
It's gnarly.
[00:46:35] Speaker A: It's gnarly. But it's really good story. I'm excited to see where it goes.
[00:46:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:46:41] Speaker A: And I just love it. I'm gonna give it five gunshots into the ground. Out of five.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: Hell, yeah.
Hell, yeah. I. I agree, Johnny. This Patrick Reynolds. All right. Pitch Perfect.
If they made Pitch Perfect 3, it would just be Patrick Reynolds.
[00:47:01] Speaker A: I think they did make Pitch Perfect.
[00:47:02] Speaker B: Okay. If they make Pitchforger 4.
No, it's just great. And the Jimmy Palmiotti of it all is delicious. And the. The story. I love how we get a. A time stop because this is not. This is not the Series. I would have expected freeze time around with the. Okay, you're back. But it's great. And I just love how Tobias is just like. I don't know. I don't know. Shit just happens.
Just happens.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: If you got a guardian angel.
[00:47:36] Speaker B: Just the. The dynamic between. Between Tobias and the. The native woman is. Is great. They're on a mission together.
The.
They don't like each other, but they can't appreciate one another in a really fun way.
This soldier who had to help Lane with his fucking false flag operation is crushing sad. Like, it is hard to look at his face. It is so well done.
Just, you know, Tobias jumping in to stab him. Burning man in the chest. Just fucking great.
[00:48:16] Speaker A: Go to hell.
[00:48:17] Speaker B: It's so, so good.
So good.
So, Johnny, I'm gonna give it five stopped bullets with a hand.
It is just wonderful.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: You know what that means, David?
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Yes, indeed. That is an entrance into the Hellfire Club.
[00:48:37] Speaker A: Both give it 5 out of 5.
[00:48:42] Speaker B: It's the sounds of the Voices of Hell that I was trying to do there.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: Okay, I thought you're doing the Hellfire Club.
[00:48:48] Speaker B: Like, oh, yeah, I was trying to do it live.
[00:48:51] Speaker A: I thought. No, I thought you were doing like Stranger Things Hellfire Club. Like, oh, no, because that's the guy.
[00:48:59] Speaker B: Are you kidding? Johnny? That. That show last came out like four years ago. I don't remember anything from the last season.
[00:49:06] Speaker A: He played a guitar.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I remember now.
[00:49:09] Speaker A: He played Master of Puppets.
Yeah, master. Master.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: Pretty cool. Pretty cool.
[00:49:16] Speaker A: I also be your master.
[00:49:17] Speaker B: I do like how the sounds from hell is literally just what you get when you accidentally turn your phone on in your pocket in the subway.
[00:49:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:28] Speaker B: We used to be simpler be, didn't we, Johnny?
[00:49:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:32] Speaker B: I wouldn't say more gullible, but just gullible in a different way. Just more naive.
That's the problem. We know better now. We should know better. But we don't.
[00:49:44] Speaker A: We should.
[00:49:45] Speaker B: Okay, well, all that to say is, Johnny, Gunslinger 44.
It should be better.
[00:49:52] Speaker A: It should know better.
Gunslinger 44. I mean, it's a Todd McFarlane issue, so it's a little messy, it's a little unwieldy, it's a little goofy. Goofy.
It's just hilarious that so much of the plot is just like them getting sucked into this monster and like, the rules of, like, if they're in there a minute, they're gonna die. They gotta hold their breath. It's like, what the hell?
[00:50:12] Speaker B: I must say, it is much more plot focused and like, we're getting somewhere than several of the most recent gunslinger issues have.
[00:50:23] Speaker A: No, that's true.
[00:50:23] Speaker B: It is very much more like objective getting to the objective instead of, let's just introduce 12 more people.
Let's just wander around for a week and then meet an old man on his porch.
[00:50:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:50:37] Speaker B: But no, yeah, the fight is with the angels is fun.
[00:50:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's fun. I love that, like, he throws that cat out the window and the fucking laser just jumps after. They're never seen again. If they just ever come back, that'd be so funny. I just imagine they both splat on the ground.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: Oh, that's ridiculous. Oh, man.
[00:50:55] Speaker A: Can you imagine you're just like on the street and you see someone just throw a lion out of fucking window.
[00:51:00] Speaker B: No, I'd be like, what the fuck? Because, because it would either it would be right in front of you and it would be terrifying or be right on you, or otherwise you would just like, never. You would hear somebody have said something about it later and you would be like, what? I was right over there.
[00:51:17] Speaker A: He threw that line out a window.
Yeah. I don't know, it's just funny. It's just got those Todd Father idiosyncrasies.
[00:51:25] Speaker B: It's absolutely ridiculous.
[00:51:27] Speaker A: I'm going to give it three tigers out the window.
[00:51:31] Speaker B: It's so first off, the art in this is fantastic. Oh, yeah, it's so good. You know, it doesn't make any sense at all. That's. That's not up for debate.
It is a whole lot of fun to read at the end of the day where your brain is like, so is it, Is it, Is it fun? Yes, absolutely. 115 out of five for fun.
Is it good?
No, but that's fine.
[00:52:04] Speaker A: Especially if you read Deadly Deadly Tales first.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: Dudley Tales.
[00:52:09] Speaker A: Dudley Tales of the Duds Master.
[00:52:12] Speaker B: But it doesn't have to be Johnny. It's. Yeah, so it's, it's. It's not good, but it's fun and that's fine. Sometimes that's what you need. So I, I am going to give it a little worse than you. I'm going to give it a flat middle of the road. Two and a half. I'm Going to give it two and a half.
Two and a half people swallowed by this big demon thing. And do you think if you have extra people, it reduces the amount of time you have? Like, every additional person is like, the 15 seconds.
[00:52:41] Speaker A: He gains a minute when he jumps in. So you g a minute every time someone comes in.
[00:52:47] Speaker B: I didn't.
And where do you learn this? Do you learn this the hard way? Do you have to be, like, swallowed by this like, 16 times and be like, oh, okay, that's how it works.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: Oh, I get a minute. Okay.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: Or do they pass out?
They can't have passed it out at orientation. Javi would never, ever go to anything resembling a classroom or an auditorium or.
[00:53:08] Speaker A: Electronic or be able to read.
[00:53:14] Speaker B: Oh, the reveal of Janelle is fun.
[00:53:17] Speaker A: I like. I like the. Where it says, this time, this Janelle is real.
[00:53:25] Speaker B: Oh, boy. Well, Johnny, that was fun. That was fun. That's those puppies, Raven. But you know what else is fun, Johnny?
The spawn munity.
That's just the people who, like, spawn and get into Spawn and do spawn stuff on the Internet.
And, you know, we like to make sure more people know more sides of the people on the Internet doing spawn stuff. And we're gonna shout out one of the artists from the spawning grounds today, Johnny.
[00:53:53] Speaker A: Sounds like a plan.
[00:53:54] Speaker B: Specifically, Rosseye Comics, because of all of the artists on this page, Cross Eyes Comics is the one most likely to find a spawn in image on.
And it's really fun. It's also the number one with the Godzilla. None of the rest of them have a Godzilla, Johnny.
[00:54:11] Speaker A: So that's important.
[00:54:12] Speaker B: That's very important. That's. That's no joke. And, you know, he's. He's doing the blank.
The blank covers of the New Blood Letter. So he's, you know, getting a little.
Probably a little vampire action going on. Yeah, it's really, really cool.
There's that spawn.
[00:54:30] Speaker A: Give him a follow.
[00:54:31] Speaker B: Do it. Do it. It's real good.
You know what? You know who else you should follow, Johnny?
[00:54:37] Speaker A: Lonnie Bones.
[00:54:38] Speaker B: Lonnie Bones. Just Lonnie Bones. Music. Anywhere you get music.
He does our music. He does our music. And it's real good.
[00:54:44] Speaker A: You should also give us a follow. We are regarding Spawn Pod on Instagram, and you can reach out to us at. Regarding SpawnPod. Gmail.com.
[00:54:52] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. Yeah. And, Johnny, you got a. You got a prompt for people to write into us about anything you want to know from our listening audience.
[00:55:03] Speaker A: My prompt will be.
Do you understand?
My prompt will be, do you understand the rules of this creature? How long can you be in it? How many minutes do you get so you're dead. You have to hold your breath.
[00:55:17] Speaker B: Yeah. We need.
[00:55:17] Speaker A: What happens if a third or fourth person comes in? I don't know.
[00:55:21] Speaker B: Need the. The lore for this weird transforming angel. Goop being.
[00:55:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:28] Speaker B: That I don't think has a name. Give it a name.
[00:55:30] Speaker A: Goop.
[00:55:33] Speaker B: Goop. Spelled with two zeros.
[00:55:35] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: Goop.
[00:55:37] Speaker A: But, yeah, hit us up on email.
Absolutely. And. Yeah.
[00:55:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And, Johnny, you know what? This is.
This is fun. I like doing this. You want to do this again in about a week?
[00:55:49] Speaker A: I do, and I want to do it for the 150th time, David.
[00:55:52] Speaker B: Holy shit. 150 episodes.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Next week is our 150th episode, baby.
[00:55:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:56:01] Speaker A: So we're gonna have a special guest and a special issue. We're gonna be doing Medieval Spawn Number One.
[00:56:05] Speaker B: Very excited for that return of returning guest Bran Morehead. Nice. Nice. Not only is it the return of Brian Morehead, but it is the return of. Talking about Rory McConville in a non King Spawn setting. Oh, I guess he's still writing King Spawn, isn't he? Dang it.
[00:56:22] Speaker A: He gets both.
[00:56:23] Speaker B: I love. I Love a Rory McConville story.
[00:56:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:27] Speaker B: Love, love talking to people about stuff they're passionate about.
Yeah. Nice. Well, that sounds fun. So find yourself a copy of medieval spawn number one, the one that came out this year, 2025, and come listen to us talk about it in a week.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:56:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Sounds good. And, well, Johnny, if I'm going to want to talk at all in a week, I'm going to have to. I'm going to need to save my voice. So I need to. I need to.
I need to be real, real, real, real nice to the vocal cords.
So that means I should probably not say much more. Except for. Johnny, may the scorched be with you.
[00:57:04] Speaker A: And also with you, David.
[00:57:05] Speaker B: Hell, yeah.
[00:57:06] Speaker A: Hell, yeah.
[00:57:09] Speaker B: This was a fucking wild book. Oh, my God, Jody.
What is going on with the being sucked up into bodies and the.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: What's going on with the toddler? What's happening, buddy?
[00:57:21] Speaker B: I mean, the creativity is great. I love it. I love it. But what.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: We're here if you need a sodfather.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely, 100%.
No. No judgment. Except for wild. That's the. That's the only judgment we'll make.
We'll just go wild.
[00:57:43] Speaker A: That shit's w.
[00:57:56] Speaker B: Sam.
