Episode 183 - Scorched 49 and The Curse Of Shirlee Johnson 4!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm Mammon from hell. That's all you need to know for now. Good evening and welcome to the Malibols. This is regarding Spawn, the world's best Spawn podcast. I'm your co host, John Fisher. [00:00:43] Speaker B: And I'm your co host, David Williams. And Johnny, because. Because I don't know if we're gonna record again before the season is over. Dci. Very good. Blue Coats are apparently doing very well. The. The. The drum, the. The marching band I talk about every day. [00:01:00] Speaker A: Oh, God. What the hell are you talking about? [00:01:03] Speaker B: The Blue Devils obviously are doing well. The Cavaliers show starts with a dude doing like a 60 second double stroke roll, which fucking just thinking about makes my forearms hurt. Phantom Regiment, fucking killing it. Excellent, excellent. The troopers are doing a show based on Apocalypse Now. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Wow. Well, everyone, thanks for listening for these three years, four years. However long it's been, this is it. I think it's David's talking about the marching bands again. [00:01:32] Speaker B: Hey, it's good shit. The Boston Crusaders drum line is fucking beautiful. As always, Colin McNutt. Good guy. [00:01:39] Speaker A: How do you have a halftime show? A band halftime show? Like a marching band based off Apocalypse Now? The Vietnam War? [00:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, they just do the music based on it. Yeah, based off the Vietnam War. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Turn to the shape of a helicopter and like walk around? [00:01:51] Speaker B: Unfortunately, no, but they do have some sort of helicopter. [00:01:56] Speaker A: What's his name? [00:01:57] Speaker B: Yeah, the dude who says, I love the smell of napalm in the morgue morning. One of their mellophones just doesn't wear a shirt and wears a hat like that. [00:02:05] Speaker A: Oh my God. That's fucked up. [00:02:07] Speaker B: It's. It's pretty cool. It's my first time ever seeing the troopers. And you know, the troopers killed the devil a couple years ago in their show, so. [00:02:14] Speaker A: And what do they do? They play what Fortunate Son and shit or whatever. [00:02:18] Speaker B: Actually, yeah. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Fly the Valkyries. Isn't that the one? [00:02:24] Speaker B: Yes, yes indeed. They play both of those good old American Phantom Regiment. Who is who usually does classical music, did exit music for a film by Radiohead this year and that was pretty cool. [00:02:37] Speaker A: Oh, nice. From Romeo and Juliet. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Is that what it was written for? [00:02:42] Speaker A: Correct. [00:02:42] Speaker B: Oh, nice. [00:02:44] Speaker A: That's. That's what the exit music was for. [00:02:46] Speaker B: Draw your sword. Sword. [00:02:51] Speaker A: It was so fucking cool when I was a kid. [00:02:52] Speaker B: I like how the guns just say sword. [00:02:56] Speaker A: I love when the dad's in the back of the limo, he goes, bring him my long sword hoe. And it's just a AK47 or whatever. She goes, do not raise your hand to strike A foe. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Hold on. Somebody's doing something. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Oh. [00:03:08] Speaker B: What the are you doing out here? Ding. Dang friggin dogs. Dude, look at this. This. This dude, his name is Tinderloin. He's one of our new ones. Aww. He's called Tenderloin because he's built like a Tenderloin. Oh, my God. [00:03:23] Speaker A: Cutie. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a. He's a puppy, though, so he's a little bit of a handful. You know how those puppies is. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I know how to rate the puppies. That's for sure. [00:03:32] Speaker B: That's for sure. [00:03:33] Speaker A: But, you know, we got to do. Before we rate the puppies. [00:03:36] Speaker B: Well, we got to read the things we're gonna rate. [00:03:37] Speaker A: We gotta read the things we're gonna rate. [00:03:40] Speaker B: And why. Why are we reading things and rating them, Johnny? [00:03:43] Speaker A: Because we are respawn regarding Spawn, where each week we bring you two issues from Spawn's universe. Except when we don't. This week is no different. We have two issues from Spawn's universe for you. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Nice as always, Johnny. I just realized you got a haircut. It looks good. [00:03:58] Speaker A: I did today. [00:03:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Nice. [00:03:59] Speaker A: Thank you. It's very hot in Oklahoma. [00:04:01] Speaker B: 110 yesterday, I just died. I believe it. A couple days ago at work, I was wearing a blue shirt that was kind of light blue. And I was just so sweaty when I got into work. And then, like, you could feel where my backpack was sitting. And I was like, hey, anybody want to see anything gross? Look at this. So we just show them the large, dark blue square on my back. The worst part about that is when the air conditioner cools it down, and then the shirt starts to touch you, and you're like, [00:04:29] Speaker A: yeah, it's a tough dance. Well, just imagine, in 10 to 20 years, David, we won't even be able to go outside in the summer. [00:04:35] Speaker B: That's. That's true. We'll all be mole people. We'll be living underground. [00:04:39] Speaker A: Or with, like, spacesuits. We walk around in, like, spacesuits. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Or we'll just become. We'll just become ghouls. Ghouls? Yeah, like from Fallout. We'll lose our noses. [00:04:49] Speaker A: Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. True or baby do. [00:04:55] Speaker B: I guess it depends on what kind of a pickle you're in. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Well, like in seven, he makes her cut off her face, but she dies anyway. On. That's. On. [00:05:06] Speaker B: Which one is that? [00:05:07] Speaker A: Pride. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Pride. [00:05:08] Speaker A: It's just a second they, like, go to. It's like, one of the last ones. [00:05:10] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:11] Speaker A: It's after they already figured out who he was and they chased him down. But then it's like a rich woman that he makes. He fixed he up her face and she gives her like, sleeping pills matter anyway. Okay. And he's like, she can kill herself or continue to live with ugly face. And he knows and she kills herself. [00:05:31] Speaker B: I mean, valid pride. Valid. [00:05:35] Speaker A: I watched that movie a couple weeks ago. 7 still good. Really good movie. Oh my God. We watched it on 4k at Megan's. And the 4k dis like the blacks and the greens. It's just like. It's such rich color on the 4K. It looked amazing. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Nice. [00:05:48] Speaker A: And we watched the Matrix too. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Ooh, nice. Just the Matrix. The first one. [00:05:52] Speaker A: Matrix. Also, I got the Trilogy or I got the quad. Quadrilogy on 4K. So we're going to work our way through that. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Nice. The Animatrix in there too? [00:06:02] Speaker A: Unfortunately not. But it might be a special feature on Reloaded, actually. But I own it as well. That was really good. [00:06:10] Speaker B: I never saw it, but I know a lot of people like it. [00:06:12] Speaker A: There's one. The History of the World. Not the History of the World. [00:06:16] Speaker B: The History of the World, Part two. [00:06:18] Speaker A: No. Well, there's. There's. What is it called? It has some like, pretentious name, but there's Part One and part Two, and it's like the story of the machines rising up and everything. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Nice. What? The Matrix having something pretentious. [00:06:31] Speaker A: No, I like it though. It's good to be pretentious. [00:06:33] Speaker B: It is good. It is good. [00:06:35] Speaker A: It's funny how, like, maligned the sequels were, but they were on Pluto TV this month and I watched. That's what made me inspired to rewatch. I watched two. Most of two. Pretty good. [00:06:47] Speaker B: Nice. When I leave the. When I leave the house, I like to leave a Pluto TV channel on. Lately it's been for the dogs, of course, so they don't lose their shit. Lately it's been the Murder She Wrote channel. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Oh, they love that. [00:07:00] Speaker B: But I've also started making them watch the Dynasty channel. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Who's Godzilla Channel? That's what you choose. [00:07:07] Speaker B: If the Godzilla channel was still there. Yes, absolutely. 100% sad. Yeah. Because Wanda, although Wanda would. Then every time she walked by, it would have to send me a message. God damn it, David, the fucking Godzilla channel's on. [00:07:21] Speaker A: She likes Mothra though, right? She. [00:07:23] Speaker B: Yeah, she likes Mothra because it's impossible to not like Mothra. She doesn't like. She doesn't like pupil Mothra, though. Pupil Mothra wigs her out. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:32] Speaker B: Because it's a big worm. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Did you hear that? The. This is just crazy. This isn't, like, funny. I don't know why I'm mentioning it, but. Hey, here we are. The young actress who played, like, the islander in Kong. [00:07:43] Speaker B: Kong versus Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. In a car accident. [00:07:46] Speaker A: I know. She was 18. [00:07:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it's crazy. Boo. [00:07:49] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Nobody should die at 18 in a car accident. [00:07:51] Speaker A: Movies are good. It was on TV the other day, [00:07:53] Speaker B: but I keep forgetting to watch it. [00:07:55] Speaker A: The second one's a hoot. [00:07:57] Speaker B: My problem is. My problem is they make. I'm a lizard over monkey guy, and [00:08:03] Speaker A: I feel like Kong's always the main character. [00:08:05] Speaker B: They're made for monkey guys. And. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Yeah, they're Kong movies with Godzilla's kind of the back bad guy. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Not just. Not to say I don't like a monkey. Ape. Sorry, Ape, we're being pedantic. But. But Godzilla over Kong every day, and I know that. [00:08:22] Speaker A: What about Donkey Kong over King K. Rule? [00:08:26] Speaker B: Who's King K. Rool. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Is that from the bad guy of Donkey Kong country? The crocodile. [00:08:32] Speaker B: Let's see what. This guy. That guy. That guy's big. Look at him. [00:08:36] Speaker A: I bet you would love that guy. [00:08:37] Speaker B: Oh, I like that guy. He's cool. [00:08:39] Speaker A: He's the villain of Donkey Kong country. [00:08:40] Speaker B: He looks like. He's probably a little sass. [00:08:43] Speaker A: Oh, he is. He's. He's a joker. [00:08:47] Speaker B: That dude's got big belly. [00:08:49] Speaker A: No, that's crazy. Rest in peace to that actor. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Gone too soon. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Shit. [00:08:54] Speaker B: So she was one of. One of Mothra, one of the fairies? [00:08:58] Speaker A: No, she's like a native child to Skull Island. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:09:01] Speaker A: There's a couple movies. It's kind of based on, like. It feels like very Godzilla. Like a native child, but it's basically some Skull Island. So she has, like a connection with Kong. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Interesting, isn't there? [00:09:13] Speaker A: There's a Godzilla. There's like a native child that, like, has a connection with him. Right? Like a feral child. Or maybe just child in general. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Well, I mean, there's. There's his child. [00:09:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. [00:09:27] Speaker B: And there's that one where he's just hanging out with that old guy and his. And his son and they're driving around Japan into the truck. [00:09:34] Speaker A: Yeah, the truck. Yeah. He's just at the truck. That was always hilarious. Those 70s ones are wacky. [00:09:42] Speaker B: They're. They're ridiculous. They're ridiculous. [00:09:45] Speaker A: What else is ridiculous is we have two issues from sponsor. [00:09:48] Speaker B: I forgot what we were doing. [00:09:50] Speaker A: We didn't even say what they were. We're doing scorched 49. And then we are doing I Almost said no Home here. The Curse of Surly Johnson Number four. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Well, I mean, to your credit, Johnny, they do. They do hammer home the idea of home a lot in this issue. So it was obviously written before the name change. It's like. It's like when. When a band says a word that is part of the. Their name in their song. It's not. It's not. It's not their actual name, but it's just, like, a part of it. Like when Slipknot says the word slip. Hilarious. I love it. [00:10:27] Speaker A: You said this before. [00:10:28] Speaker B: I have, yeah. [00:10:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I'm about to say something I've said before. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I love it when they. When bands record reference themselves, too, because there's that T. Rex song, all the Young Dudes. And they say, man, who needs TV when I got T. Rex? All the young dudes carry the new, you know, song. [00:10:54] Speaker B: I'm sure. I'm sure if I heard it, I would probably. [00:10:56] Speaker A: And then I love the who song where they said he jumped himself. Signed. No, he said he chucked. Well, not two. They said he junked himself. Fine. The sound of old T. Rex, the band. And then they go, oh, and who's next? [00:11:16] Speaker B: Nice. Nice. Well, what about when Oingo Boingo goes and Oingo Boingi. [00:11:23] Speaker A: They don't ever do that. We are Oingo Boingo we are coming to your town we are gonn to take you to the graveyard all around. [00:11:34] Speaker B: That seems like something Danny. Danny Elfman would do. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Yeah. There's one song that uses an intro to their concerts. They project it, and it's them in a little grave, and they. They sing a song, and it's called Tender Lumplings. [00:11:48] Speaker B: And Tender Lumplings ever. [00:11:51] Speaker A: That is a reference to that song. That's what Danny calls children, evidently. [00:11:58] Speaker B: Well, I mean, it's funny, I. At work today, somebody said that they refer to their. Their. Their backyard barbecue as a backyard banger. [00:12:08] Speaker A: Backyard banger means something different to me, baby. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was, but it was set in a work context, so it had to be clean. [00:12:15] Speaker A: The one redeeming thing in the Scorch issue is Jessica Priest has got a backyard banger. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Zing. [00:12:21] Speaker A: Well, so banger in her backyard. [00:12:26] Speaker B: God, I hate this issue, Johnny. I don't want to read it. [00:12:28] Speaker A: I didn't hate it that much. Maybe because you said you hated it before. I read it. I was like, probably. [00:12:33] Speaker B: Probably. I. We'll get to it. We'll get. We should. So. We should. Johnny. We should. We should cover the COVID of scorched 49 so we can just get it over with. Because I've. I've read this book like three times now, and I just want to be done with it. [00:12:46] Speaker A: I've got. The COVID artist is Von Randall. [00:12:51] Speaker B: I've got. I've got that same cover too. [00:12:55] Speaker A: And it is Jessica Priest sitting on a decapitated demon's head. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And that demon has a septum piercing and like. Like orc teeth. He's got like a. Like an underbite. [00:13:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:08] Speaker B: And protruding. Protruding teeth. It's pretty cool. It's a big fucking gun. And then the second cover, Johnny, cover B is by Mirko Kolak. And it. It's actually pretty cool. I kind of wish I had gotten this cover, but obviously I'm gonna go for the Jessica Priest cover because, you know, Jessica Priest is fucking awesome. But the COVID B is just Spawn standing on top of like a weird pillar. [00:13:34] Speaker A: It's a cool pillar. It's kind of reminds me of like a built like just the way there's like random buildings like. Like Blade Runner or Dune or something. I don't know, like. Yeah, like concept art for a Star wars planet they didn't make. [00:13:49] Speaker B: There we go. It's definitely like concept art. It's like concept art for the Ewok for indoor Jaku or something. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Yeah, Indoor. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Yeah. It's a cool fucking. To go. Fucking cool. [00:14:02] Speaker A: I like the. I like the kind of. The color scheme, like the. [00:14:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like. [00:14:07] Speaker A: It really feels like a really washed out. Like, you see, like, you feel like he's in like a wasteland of. [00:14:11] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it's wasteland. 100% wasteland. Blaine, the train is totally pulling up alongside him. [00:14:19] Speaker A: Right next to him. [00:14:19] Speaker B: What a pain. God damn. [00:14:21] Speaker A: That's my favorite one back in the day was Three the Waste. [00:14:24] Speaker B: The Wasteland's awesome. That's the one. [00:14:27] Speaker A: Three of my favorites. [00:14:28] Speaker B: No, wizard and Glass is the one. That's the flashback to Roland's. [00:14:31] Speaker A: And it's like the first one that's like that thick. [00:14:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Two inches on the paperback because. [00:14:37] Speaker B: So the drawing of the Threes where Roland loses his fingers, right? [00:14:41] Speaker A: Correct. [00:14:41] Speaker B: From the lobster. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Yes. And then drawing of three is Lobster Osities gets on the plane, frees Eddie. They go back and get. And they save Jake and they get Odetta. [00:14:53] Speaker B: They get Odetta. [00:14:55] Speaker A: They save Jake in the third one. The third one's when they saved. [00:14:57] Speaker B: I. I collapsed two and three, like very completely. [00:15:00] Speaker A: They're almost. They'd probably be one book if he wrote them now. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:07] Speaker A: Four is. Yes, the flashback. [00:15:10] Speaker B: That's a fucking good one. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Shimi's the mentally handicapped individual of the village that Stephen King loves to put in there. [00:15:17] Speaker B: Loves Adrien Brody in the village. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Yes, yes, the village. And then five is the first of the new ones. [00:15:23] Speaker B: And that's Wolves of the Kala, which is fun. [00:15:28] Speaker A: It's just crazy at the end that there are Dr. Doom with Wolf faces, with lightsabers and sneetches. Snitches from Harry Potter. And it's like textual. That's what they are. [00:15:39] Speaker B: Very ridiculous. And then Song of. Song of Susanna is. [00:15:44] Speaker A: It's very propulsive. That one's just like. I feel like I read that, like one sitting. It's pretty short compared to the other two. [00:15:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Because that's. That's like a dead approving herself. And then that's also the one where they like run into Stephen King and they're like. [00:15:56] Speaker A: That's why they're chasing down Stephen King. Because the end of five is they find a copy of Salem's Lot. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Hilarious. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Father Callahan's like freaking the out because they find a copy of Salem's Lot in an alter universe and he's like freaking out. And six is when they go find. Let's find this Stephen King ridiculous. And seven's the grand climax where they go all over the place and do tons of stuff. [00:16:18] Speaker B: Yeah, they. They fight the fight the Crimson King and he's just like, haha, ha ha ha. Can kill me. Ha ha. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:26] Speaker B: Oh, the Crimson King. Yeah. Well, so let's pop the sucker open, Johnny. [00:16:31] Speaker A: We gotta give credit where credit is due. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:16:33] Speaker A: We have script plot by the man. The myth of legend, Todd McFarlane. Art by Raymond Gay and Steven Segovia. Steve Raven, gay disposition 1 through 3. 10. Raven Gate is the Redeemer stuff. Steven Segovia does the haunt stuff. Haunt stuff. [00:16:51] Speaker B: Which is the part that we shall meet, which is the part that I hate the most. [00:16:55] Speaker A: That part sucks. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's not good. Colors by Danae Riviero. Lettering by and World Design. We already cover the covers. Creative Director is Tom McFarland and editor in chief is Thomas Healy. [00:17:06] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:17:07] Speaker A: Previously in the Scorched. His haunt faces new enemies. On this hunt for missing children, Redeemer struggles on a search of his own. [00:17:15] Speaker B: Yeah, that happened. [00:17:19] Speaker A: So he just introduced these two new plot lines out of nowhere. Last issue, because we were in Africa. He's looking for the necklace and then the Haunts just like, what do you just like sit at home? He's like, I gotta save these kids out the door. Like it wasn't introduced very gracefully. [00:17:32] Speaker B: And then he beats up a priest. And then like another, like a Mecha priest comes in. So yeah, that's, that's the setting for this is weird, weird plot lines. So we, we start at that lion head headed mountain exploding boom. Where. Because if you remember, Redeemer's necklace was in the left eye of the, the rock outcropping that looked like a lion's [00:18:00] Speaker A: head is just like the place in Aladdin. [00:18:04] Speaker B: Yeah, the cave of wonder. And, and so we start with, you know, classic, classic Todd narration. Redeemer had not told anyone his necklace had been stolen for two very good reasons. One, it got stolen in the future. [00:18:20] Speaker A: Yeah, he's like this plowing didn't come out of nowhere. He didn't tell anybody. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Two, nobody would believe it exists. Which seems kind of more like 1.5, but whatever. But, but their question Redeemer wants to know is how did anybody know about it and why were they willing to destroy it? We cut back to young Eddie. He's waking up and he's, he wakes up, obviously a little slowly to yell. No, I think like, like, yeah, he [00:18:52] Speaker A: like wakes up on his side and goes, no. [00:18:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Instead of waking up screaming, he like wakes up a little. And I was like, oh, I guess I should scream a little. And then, and then the first thing he does as, as, as anybody is want to do. The first thing they wake up is they call Jessica Priest. And Jessica Priest is like, hey, hey, I'm, I'm doing something. So make this fast, buddy. [00:19:18] Speaker A: I'm doing it. She's like up on a building with sniper rivals. Like, I want a mission. I got a target. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And he's, he's like, but me and Redeemer are having troubles. And she's like, can't you guys fucking deal with this yourself? Come on, come on. She's like, maybe he's just doing. Maybe he's just doing old man things. He's an old man. Just call me if he doesn't show up until this afternoon. And then we get classic Todd. Todd Father. So you want me to wait half a day? [00:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. What the hell was that? So what? So what, you want me to wait half a day to hear. [00:19:54] Speaker B: Priest is like, oh, never mind. Hold on. My target is here. I gotta go. Bye. Jumps off a building. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Posterior shot I was talking about. You're the one that usually mentions it. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah, usually I gotta I gotta, I gotta let you have some of the fun sometimes, Johnny. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Okay, she has a nice ass. What are you gonna say? [00:20:14] Speaker B: I mean, just that. Exactly that. And then young Eddie realizes that old Eddie left his communicator behind, not his Star Trek communicator. Yeah. Then we cut to the collapsed, the collapsed left eye of the lion shaped outcropping, and Redeemer is just laying there. And it's Redeemer. [00:20:40] Speaker A: It's funny. It says he regains consciousness and then hours pass. So he's just there for like two hours being like, oh, man, this hurts. [00:20:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And then somebody comes by and picks up a feather and says, that's pity. And then we kind of get a [00:20:55] Speaker A: random, completely random cave. We're not even in a city. Like, who's watching this tv? [00:21:03] Speaker B: Which I feel like. I feel like this exact same pundit page has happened four times in the last couple of issues. Yeah. [00:21:11] Speaker A: They're like, there's a crazy. There's a crazy creature in Oregon. [00:21:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And the, there's, there's, there's, there's superheroes among us. And then Brock the shot shock is just like, you gotta die for your kids. [00:21:26] Speaker A: Well, because the E. Guy who kind of looks like William H. Macy in this art. [00:21:29] Speaker B: Yeah, he does a little bit. [00:21:30] Speaker A: He comes in and says. He's talking about those. All these missing kids. It's like, dude, it's the Catholic church. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Yep. And then, you know, we cut back from the television land back to the, to the cave. And Mammon is standing over Redeemer and he's like, nice to meet you. Oh, I guess we don't know he's Mammon yet. There's a shadowy figure that says, nice to see you come through. Nice to see you come around. Jesus Christ. I collapsed the sentences. This doesn't appear you'll be flying anytime soon. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Why, why wouldn't he? [00:22:02] Speaker B: I don't know. Well, he just got smushed. He just got smushed by some rocks. [00:22:06] Speaker A: All right. [00:22:06] Speaker B: And then Redeemer asks, who the hell are you? And we get the opening reading. [00:22:11] Speaker A: I just thought this line was hilarious. I'm Mammon from Hell. It's like, oh, okay. [00:22:17] Speaker B: Every time I've read this, this just made me want to read from hell. [00:22:21] Speaker A: It's a good book. [00:22:22] Speaker B: It's a good book. It's a great book. And then Redeemer and Mammon have a conversation about the necklace. And Redeemer's like, how do you know about this necklace? And Mammon is like, let's just Say I know a guy on the inside, [00:22:34] Speaker A: but I only told one person in Heaven about it. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Yeah, he's not telling fucking anybody. And Mammon's like, I've heard his final screams. [00:22:41] Speaker A: He says. He says, roll that beautiful beam footage. I told Gideon, and he ain't talking. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Yeah, then. And then Maimon's like, but that's not. That's not important now. That's not why I'm here. You need to. You need to destroy this. You need to destroy this thing or send it back to Heaven because otherwise Plague Spawn is gonna get it. [00:23:01] Speaker A: And this is when we start getting like, okay. It's so repeating itself yet again. It's another world ending event with a stupid McGuffin. That's all Tom McFarlane does now. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:10] Speaker A: So it's like, if this thing happens, the world's gonna end. [00:23:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:13] Speaker A: Okay. You can have, like, smaller conflicts. [00:23:15] Speaker B: He's like, you gotta take this with you, because if I have it on me, Plague Spawn will smell it. He's like. He's like, I gotta give it to you and you gotta promise me you'll either destroy it or give it away. It was like, I didn't. I didn't help Gideon steal it for nothing. And then Redeemer's just like, sure and takes it and flies away. And Mammon's just like, yeah, I guess [00:23:34] Speaker A: he won't be flying for a while. [00:23:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess he won't. [00:23:37] Speaker A: He flies like five minutes later. That's what I'm talking about. [00:23:40] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know. Jesus, can you hear that? That little puppy is on a chair. Little puppy. Little puppy. What are you doing? She's chasing her sister who's like twice her size around. It's hilarious. Yeah. [00:23:55] Speaker A: And then cut. Halfway point, we cut to a completely different. [00:24:00] Speaker B: But not before Mammon. Mama gets a good dig in on God. He's like, yeah, even God can't do that shit. [00:24:07] Speaker A: Gotta get him. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Gotta get it. Oh, Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ, Johnny. These dogs have been chewing on my fucking power cable. Can you see that? Can you see that? Jesus. Get the fuck outta here. No, you're not allowed to be here. [00:24:21] Speaker A: What's that? Your power cable to your computer. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:24:26] Speaker A: Yeah, Put hot sauce on that shit. Knowing they chew it more probably. [00:24:30] Speaker B: I think these dogs would like hot sauce. They better like hot sauces. There are no dogs in mind. [00:24:36] Speaker A: Dude, when I was, like, in elementary school, the reason I said that is there was a kid in my class that would chew his watch band so his mom would put hot sauce on it every morning. [00:24:44] Speaker B: Whoa. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Like his rubber washburn. He would chew on it. So his mom put hot sauce. So he used to walk around, hot sauce on his watch. [00:24:51] Speaker B: Interesting. Did it. Did it deter him? [00:24:54] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:24:54] Speaker B: Or did he just. Or did he just change? [00:24:56] Speaker A: He's probably on Freaky Eaters. He's like, I only watches covered in hot sauce. [00:25:01] Speaker B: What kind of hot sauce did she, like, have to slowly increase? [00:25:06] Speaker A: I mean, it's the 90s. There's only, like, one kind of hot sauce. [00:25:08] Speaker B: I remember when there was a hot sauce store in Arrowhead or Wooden Hills. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Really? [00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Because that's where my parents learned about Melinda's and we always had a bottle of Melinda's after that. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Nice. I like. I like Texas Pete's. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Texas Pete's pretty good. That's what they give out at Church's Chicken. [00:25:28] Speaker A: Really? [00:25:30] Speaker B: I like Louisiana. Louisiana's a good one. Or Crystal. Crystal's good. It's not very hot, but it's good. [00:25:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:37] Speaker B: It's cheap as hell, too. [00:25:39] Speaker A: So we hard cut to the other half of this issue. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Yeah. There's a Mecha man holding Haunt by the neck, and he's threatening him. He says, if my daughter is dead, so help me. Or put that thing back where it came from, or so help me. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Why is everyone looking for their fucking daughters? [00:25:56] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:25:57] Speaker A: God damn it. This is what what's his name was just doing. [00:26:01] Speaker B: Maybe. Maybe that's Todd McFarlane's darkest fear is that he lost his daughter. And he's like, where is she? [00:26:07] Speaker A: Godsend is just looking for his fucking daughter. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Yeah, where is she? Have you seen the Bat, Dad? [00:26:16] Speaker A: Where? [00:26:16] Speaker B: He goes, where is she? And one of his kids goes, she's there. He goes, oh, hilarious. [00:26:26] Speaker A: I just want to see. I'm just trying to think of Christian Bale. Christian's got some funny. His lies as Batman earlier. He's like. When he's like rattle the cages, he's like. He just, like, sticks his lips out really big when he does the bat. [00:26:39] Speaker B: He does. He does. [00:26:40] Speaker A: To get out of the. I like his Batman. It's cool. I'm glad. He has, like, a different voice. It's cool. [00:26:44] Speaker B: Yeah, he said it's a. It's. He does good. He does good with both of them because it's. Because that's the. Oh, man. Like, when you got a Clooney. When you got a Clooney. Clooney is an amazing Bruce Wayne, but kind of. Kind of falls a little flat on the Batman. On the Batman. Yeah. And like Val Kilmer, excellent Batman, but falls a little flat on the Bruce Wayne. [00:27:06] Speaker A: That's true. He's got the face for Batman. I like that movie. [00:27:09] Speaker B: Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer is a beautiful man. What's a beautiful man? Rip. But, but, but not like, not like that sophisticate, good looking man like you want your Bruce Wayne to be. [00:27:21] Speaker A: He looks like a criminal. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:27:24] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:27:25] Speaker B: He's a bad boy. He's a bad boy, Johnny. [00:27:28] Speaker A: And then Michael Keaton is the perfect one. [00:27:31] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:27:31] Speaker A: I mean, he's really good. [00:27:32] Speaker B: He's really good. Mike, you know, with the. Robert Pattinson is good. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Yeah, he's good. You know, Ben Affleck was good. [00:27:40] Speaker B: Yeah, Ben Affleck was an excellent Batman. That's true. [00:27:43] Speaker A: He's good. Bruce Wayne too. [00:27:45] Speaker B: He was, Yeah. [00:27:47] Speaker A: I mean he was like Bruce Wayne [00:27:48] Speaker B: like, I don't know, for like three. [00:27:50] Speaker A: That movie sucked. He's just running around like with folders like collecting Avengers or whatever. [00:27:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Justice League doesn't exist. [00:27:58] Speaker B: It's. Whatever. [00:27:59] Speaker A: I saw the, I saw the Joss Whedon cut and the Snyder cut. I think Sniper's way better. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Is the Snyder cut. The one where they were all about the, the aspect ratio and it was just. Yes, that's the one I've seen then. And I remember being horrified by the fucking Flash time freeze, eating the hot dogs and ogling Wonder Woman bit. [00:28:26] Speaker A: That was from the Joss Whedon. [00:28:28] Speaker B: That was from the Joss Whedon one. Okay. Yeah, well, then I guess that's the one I've seen. Ugh. Ugh. Yuck. [00:28:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Speaking of bad guys, this, this Mecha man just drops. Drops haunt. And he's basically like, if my daughter's dead, I'm coming for you and I'm [00:28:51] Speaker A: gonna kill all the kids too. And he's like, wait, you're gonna kill the kids too? Well, that's later. That's later. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And then Han's just like, man, what the fuck happened? And he just, you know, slowly becomes a civilian again. And then. [00:29:02] Speaker A: Wait, no, doesn't he say that, doesn't he say I don't kill all the kids on the previous one? [00:29:08] Speaker B: I think, I think, I think his brother, I think his brother tells him that. He says that. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Okay, that's what. [00:29:14] Speaker B: And so, so as soon as, as soon as Daniel Kilgore here gets into his civvies, he gets a call from Kurt's widow, who is also his ex girlfriend. [00:29:25] Speaker A: Must be some plot lines from Haunt Which I don't know because they're always sold out at number one. Yeah, Myopic Books in Chicago. [00:29:32] Speaker B: Sad. [00:29:33] Speaker A: They had it there one time, they had one through four and went the next time to get them, and they only had three through four or two through four. [00:29:38] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's the sad. That's the sad tale of the used bookstore. But anyway, she calls and she says, finally, I've left a dozen messages. Are you gonna be here. Are you gonna be here this afternoon for your. Your nephew's birthday party? And he says, I wouldn't miss it. So, Johnny, here's where we get into the why I hate this issue. [00:29:56] Speaker A: This is stupid. [00:29:57] Speaker B: He says, I wouldn't miss it for the world, and then continues to then spend the rest of the day getting drunk and taking a nap. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Yeah, it's crazy. [00:30:06] Speaker B: It very clearly is the next day when Kurt swings by and it's like, hey, Daniel, we got to go do this. So he's already slept through the fucking party that he swears he's going to be at and wouldn't miss for the. [00:30:19] Speaker A: Yeah, this afternoon. [00:30:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:20] Speaker A: What the hell? [00:30:21] Speaker B: Yeah, because it's. It's daytime and then it's nighttime, and then it's daytime again. And then. And then Kurt's like, holy, I found this. That guy, that crazy guy. His daughter died. Now he's going to kill all the chid. The children, the children, the children. And then, and then. And Daniel's like, not on my watch. And then they. Spider man out the window. And then this. Obviously, the next day, he's getting phone calls from his ex girlfriend's former sister in law saying, where are you? And it's like, what's it? [00:30:50] Speaker A: This is such terrible storytelling. Just like, he wakes up, his brother's ghost is there, and he's like, yeah, that guy was screaming, dude, his daughter's dad, he's gonna kill all those kids. And he's like, what? Why did he just say that earlier? It's just so. This is just like, what the hell is this? [00:31:04] Speaker B: Yeah, but like, Daniel Kilgore, if you are gonna go to your nephew's birthday party, don't go to a bar and then go to sleep. What the wrong with you, dude? [00:31:16] Speaker A: What do you mean? He was 23. [00:31:17] Speaker B: He was like 30 minutes away from needing to pick up a goddamn cake. And he's like, I'm just gonna go to the bar and then take a nap on my couch because this is obviously the next fucking one. Look at that. That's goddamn sunrise, light on the brownstones. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:36] Speaker B: The fuck? I'm more incensed by this than I should be. I'm sorry, everybody. [00:31:42] Speaker A: No, it's just. It's funny. It's just so weird. [00:31:44] Speaker B: 9:41 in the morning. 9:41 in the morning. 9:41. [00:31:50] Speaker A: What does the script say? And he gets drunk and then he forgets. Like she's. She's. [00:31:56] Speaker B: She's calling him a whole day afterwards to say, hey, you should pick up the cake. So dumb Scorch skull to end the issue. Need more spawns universe, Johnny. [00:32:16] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Don't miss these ongoing titles. We got the core four there some good ones. Good ones. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Look at the four avatar fire and ash figures. Look at them look nice. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Good looking figures. [00:32:28] Speaker A: It's a good movie. [00:32:29] Speaker B: I haven't seen it. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Have you seen. [00:32:32] Speaker B: I've not seen. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Why'd you make a crab hand? I don't know. [00:32:38] Speaker B: I'm playing with this dog here. He's biting my fingies. [00:32:41] Speaker A: Okay. I've not seen a single avatar. [00:32:43] Speaker B: I've not seen a single avatar. [00:32:45] Speaker A: Well, what do you want? Like the fucking white man award of the year? [00:32:49] Speaker B: Yes, I would. [00:32:51] Speaker A: I guess it'd be because they're racist. I don't know. [00:32:57] Speaker B: Maybe I don't want to race a racist award. But I do want some of these image classics. Johnny. I got the image classics. Yeah. And then we got the McFarland sports picks with the hockey men that we don't know. [00:33:10] Speaker A: Yes. [00:33:11] Speaker B: They should probably do some heated rivalry action figures. You know, I think that would be a good untapped market if they made a hot gay hockey men and sold them to the book ladies. [00:33:21] Speaker A: They'd like that. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Yeah, Wanda. Wanda and I were gonna. There was a new Barnes and Noble that opened not too far from us and Wanda wanted to go until she realized that all paperback books are like 25 bucks now. [00:33:32] Speaker A: Yeah, because they all got the design on the sp. On the. Yeah, because they got the opposite side of the spine. [00:33:41] Speaker B: Like the guilt edges. [00:33:43] Speaker A: The guilt edges. They. They like did. Every book has a design on it now. And they're like $30. [00:33:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:47] Speaker A: So they look good on Tick Tock. It's like seriously why it is. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And you can't find you. And they stopped making mass paperbacks. Come on. [00:33:54] Speaker A: That's terrible. [00:33:55] Speaker B: I wanna. I want a piece of that I can shove in my pocket. [00:33:58] Speaker A: Mass markets are the best. [00:34:01] Speaker B: I want to go to. I wanna. I wanna spin the little. The little carousel while I'm standing in line waiting to pay for my groceries and be like, that book cover looks pretty dope. I'm gonna buy this book for six [00:34:12] Speaker A: bucks or flip to the pictures in the middle on the movie adaptations. That's how we like. We would, like, read the spoilers for movies and like. Because the books would be out like usually a couple weeks before. Yeah, we like with the back of the X Men 2:1, but they didn't have any of the stuff about the Phoenix thing in there. They cut it all out. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Oh, dang. [00:34:31] Speaker A: For the movie, I guess. Yeah. [00:34:33] Speaker B: The only problem with those movie tie in books is they always broke where the pictures were. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:34:39] Speaker B: Because of the different densities of the papers. [00:34:42] Speaker A: I have a Sleepy Hollow one. [00:34:44] Speaker B: Nice. Nice. It's. It's weird to think that they did that all the way through the. Because I guess the last. The last movie tie in book I remember my dad buying was the Mummy Returns. So I guess they did it through the. I remember it specifically because. Because my dad was reading the back of it and he's. He was like, rick and Evie and their son. And he's like. I guess I. I bet I know what they got up to in the. In the intervening years. I was like, dad, we're in a public place, please. [00:35:17] Speaker A: They still make them for the Star wars movies. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Oh, nice. [00:35:20] Speaker A: Every Star wars movie has had a novelization. [00:35:23] Speaker B: Nice. [00:35:25] Speaker A: Even like Rogue One and Solo, I think. I don't know if Mandalorian Grogu did or not. [00:35:29] Speaker B: I don't know. That seems like it would be a really. Because that's a more pulpy movie. So it seems like it would fit really nicely in the. [00:35:34] Speaker A: Yeah. And the. The Rise of Skywalker 1 came out like a year after the movie. [00:35:38] Speaker B: That's that. [00:35:39] Speaker A: No, because they finished the editing like the day it was released. And also they say, like, they try to explain everything. They're like, she kissed Kylo Ren as a mutual friend, not as a lover. It's like, so really worded. It's so weird. It was like, out of mutual respect. They kiss. What? Mutual respect. [00:35:58] Speaker B: Mutual respect. Do they. Do they. Do they describe the Palpatine as being cenobitic? [00:36:08] Speaker A: Yes. They say he looks like a cenobite. [00:36:12] Speaker B: He looks like that weird sex pervert from those Clive Barker books, if you know what I'm talking about. [00:36:18] Speaker A: And that's scorched 49. [00:36:20] Speaker B: That's scorched 49. It was not very fine. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Says you. [00:36:26] Speaker B: This is me. I'm gonna. I'm gonna give that a stinker of a score. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:36:31] Speaker B: Spoiler alert. [00:36:32] Speaker A: Spoiler alert. Next up, we have Curse of Shirley Johnson number four. [00:36:47] Speaker B: I'm trying to. I'm trying looking for the other covers here, Johnny, because I have. I have cover A which is just Shirley Johnson st. In front of. In front of the Big Eye on Fire. [00:36:58] Speaker A: Yes, there's a. There's a B and a C cover, I believe and be. [00:37:01] Speaker B: The B cover is a picture of. It's the Stranger. The Stranger. It's just his full on face. [00:37:10] Speaker A: And then the C cover is just the eye, but black and white. [00:37:13] Speaker B: Black and white. Okay. Oh, the Stranger. Oh, the Stranger. But yeah, it's. I mean this A cover is the Jonathan Gapion cover and it's fucking awesome. Jonathan Galapian does really good work. You know, the B cover is Dan Panossian and it is Stranger space. [00:37:36] Speaker A: He's got a lot of emotion in his. [00:37:38] Speaker B: Yeah, Dan Panossian makes fucking amazing covers. They're good as hell. But let's. Let's crack this. Let's crack this sucker open and see where credit is due. Johnny. We got script plot by Daniel Enriquez, art by Jonathan Glapion, color by FCO Plasencia, lettering by Anne Brill design. We covered the covers. Todd McFarlane is the creative director and Thomas Healy is the editor in chief. And previously in the Curse of Shirley Johnson, Vox and Simon pure struggle to protect Shirley as the Crimson Seraph descends, demanding they hand over the stranger. [00:38:19] Speaker A: It's also hilarious to me. They don't say any of these characters names in the comic book. [00:38:23] Speaker B: I mean they. [00:38:25] Speaker A: They have a little bit. [00:38:25] Speaker B: Yeah, they have like. It's. It's all like somebody will say their name once and then that's it. Because that's how they. That's how they identify Vox. If somebody is like vox, you fool. And it's like, wait, what? But yeah, if you remember Bootsy. Bootsy, our pal Bootsy doing heaven reconnaissance, sees the stranger and Shirley Johnson running around and he's like, we gotta go the down there. And then Simon Pure is a. An old ass blind vampire who hangs out with a couple of. A couple of strapping young lads trying to also save Shirley Johnson. And so Bootsy and this weird eyeball alien zoom down to hell to capture Shirley and the stranger. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Correct. [00:39:19] Speaker B: And we start off with the best little bit. Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Except it didn't. And then we get the eyeball creature, the Crimson Seraph, saying pain reveals fear, strips violence, decides what survives me is worthy. And then we see him engage all the dudes. [00:39:45] Speaker A: Or yeah, battling. [00:39:46] Speaker B: He's got Vox with his. With his like glowing change and he's like holding on to the stranger's sword. And one of the. One of Simon Pure's boys is on his back and he's just like. This guy's just like trampling over Shirley Johnson. [00:40:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Then back in heaven. [00:40:05] Speaker B: Yeah. There's somewhere, there's like this old. This old, like monitor watcher guy who's just like, oh, dear. [00:40:11] Speaker A: I love his eye. Oh, dear, oh dear. He looks like a Dear, oh dear, [00:40:15] Speaker B: oh dear, oh dear. And he goes to these three people called the Trinity. And the Trinity are like. He says there's been a discrepancy in the legend of Lords. Two units are unaccounted for. [00:40:28] Speaker A: They all look like dark souls, enemies. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Yeah, they do. They're pretty. They're pretty wicked. And the Trinity are just like, you know what? You gotta go get those motherfuckers right now. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Yep. [00:40:39] Speaker B: And then we cut back to the fight between the Crimson Seraph and all of the people. And Crimson Seraph is holding on to Vox and he's like, I don't remember killing your kind. Spawns are only from dead people. And then the stranger. Stranger is just like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna have at you. And the Crimson Seraph just like bats him away. Just like punches him. [00:41:01] Speaker A: He's like, I'm here for the anomalies. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:04] Speaker A: Speaking of the Matrix 2. [00:41:06] Speaker B: And Shirley's like, you leave him alone, you creepy eyed jerk. She. She shows some spunk. And the Crimson Seraph is just like, you know what? I'm gonna step on you. You are courageous little spark. But courage is not strength. And then we see Shirley Johnson is actually on the ground, like, holding his foot up. And she's like, I'm strong enough to stop you. And then he. He's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. He does a couple of. A couple of stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomps stomps on her and Simon Pierce. Like, no, we can't do that. And then like, Simon's like, we gotta go. We gotta go save her. We gotta go get in the fight. And the boots is like, ah, no, don't do that. Don't you just gonna. He's gonna stuff up. Don't do that. You'll make it worse. [00:41:52] Speaker A: And like, they don't let the anomalies ascend, they just erase them on site. [00:41:55] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like, I can't believe you brought her here. We're supposed to protect her. And you, you walk her right into the Dragon's den. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Welcome right. To the Dragon Slayer. David. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Ooh, Dragon Slayer. Wanda, I'm pretty sure Dragon Slayer is [00:42:12] Speaker A: the name of the strip club in our college. [00:42:13] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure Wanda still has some glitter somewhere from her visits to the dragon lair. [00:42:20] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Wanda fucking loves the strip club. [00:42:24] Speaker A: I don't. We've had this conversation. [00:42:26] Speaker B: I've never. I've never been to a strip club, so I don't know. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like a strip club. [00:42:34] Speaker A: No, you wouldn't. [00:42:36] Speaker B: In fact, I'm. Yeah, I mean, I think I would like to go to a strip club in Portland because they apparently have all you can eat buffets that are actually pretty good. [00:42:45] Speaker A: Hey, there you go. [00:42:47] Speaker B: So I think I would like that. But otherwise, I think I would just be uncomfortable. [00:42:53] Speaker A: Once every 10 years, I feel like. Not to say I find myself at a strip club and it's always not great not to. [00:42:59] Speaker B: Not to say that the people who work at strip clubs should not. [00:43:04] Speaker A: Oh, they're fine. [00:43:04] Speaker B: They should not. Not that they should not be proud of what they have and how they make their money. That is just. [00:43:12] Speaker A: The dudes just suck. [00:43:13] Speaker B: That is not me. [00:43:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:15] Speaker B: Would I like to. Would I like to watch a butt bouncing around on stage? Absolutely. [00:43:18] Speaker A: See, but that's the thing. It's like, what the strippers. The stripper, like, style of, like, on stage, it's not very sexy. It's very, like, military and, like. I don't. I don't know. I just don't find it, like, around. [00:43:30] Speaker B: I would. I would probably also be there being, like, interesting. I bet that's difficult, right? [00:43:36] Speaker A: I mean, that's. That's like what I focus on. Like, this is sexy. [00:43:38] Speaker B: Like, I would. I would feel like. I would feel like a Olympic gymnastics judge being like. Well, that was. That was cool as hell. I don't know if I'd be turned on by it, though. I think I could. [00:43:51] Speaker A: A lot of clacking. The big thing is, like, they clack their heels a lot. It's just, like, loud. I don't know. It's weird. I'm not a fan of it. [00:43:57] Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah, I probably. It's probably too late for me to even try that. Clacking heels. [00:44:04] Speaker A: I can't imagine a strip club in Chicago, how expensive it is. [00:44:07] Speaker B: Oh, I. I don't even want to think about it. Johnny. [00:44:10] Speaker A: Yeah, just save it for the Dragon Slayer. Next time we're in still water. We'll go. It's still there. Probably. Probably not. Tulsa's got plenty of strip clubs. [00:44:17] Speaker B: Nice. But what we have. One of Wanda's favorite things to do is to motorboat the strippers. Because they let her. She fucking loves it. [00:44:25] Speaker A: That's sexist. [00:44:27] Speaker B: What? [00:44:28] Speaker A: They won't let me do it. [00:44:32] Speaker B: Which is funny because between the two of you, I would be more frightened of Wanda than of you. Yeah, she would probably be more likely to beat me. Beat. Beat somebody else up than. Than you would. [00:44:45] Speaker A: You said she's going to beat up a stripper. Your wife's going to beat up a stripper? [00:44:48] Speaker B: No, she's not going to beat up a stripper. She'll beat up somebody else, though. She's. She's a loose cannon. [00:44:54] Speaker A: Sorry, exotic dancer. [00:44:55] Speaker B: If we're. If. If. If my marriage is a buddy cop, I'm the doofus and she's the loose cannon, all right? Or. Or I'm the. I'm the by the book. The. The straight laced. I am. I am the Danny Glover. And she is the. [00:45:11] Speaker A: You're the one with the Fox and Hound animation cell. [00:45:14] Speaker B: All right? But yes. So. So the stranger is just like, oh, well, you know what? You know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna stand here and I'm gonna die for Shirley Johnson. I'm gonna protect her. I failed my brother, and I'm not gonna fail her. And while the stranger is attacking the Crimson Seraph, Spawn is talking to Shirley Johnson. [00:45:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:34] Speaker B: Get up. Use the light I gave you. Keep it burning. And she's like, but I don't know how. And he says, yes, you do. [00:45:42] Speaker A: She goes, I am all the Spawns. Just like Rey at the end of the Rise of Skywalker when she's all the Jedi. [00:45:48] Speaker B: And she's like, but I don't want to turn into you. You're a meanie, man. And he says, well, you didn't turn into me. You turned into something better. And she necroplasms, and she walks up to Crimson Seraph while he's got his. His, like, fists. He's just, like, punching the stranger into the. Into the ground. And Shirley's just like, you leave my friend alone. The Crimson Serif says, that much power, I can see it bleeding out. Necroplasm in the shape of the demons you carry. And then we get a pretty awesome two page spread, Johnny. [00:46:26] Speaker A: Yes. We get the Clown, the Violator, and Mr. Spawn and Billy Kincaid, of course. [00:46:34] Speaker B: Yeah. And they're just. It's just like necroplasmically. [00:46:37] Speaker A: Oh, it's the guy from Apocalypse now. [00:46:41] Speaker B: And she's just. She's just seething with this necroplasm while the stranger lays broken in front of her. She says, you wanted violence? Fine. And stop talking and come get it. [00:46:51] Speaker A: Dave, I got a pitch. A spawn hunter. Not. Not the person. The person of human being who's like a bounty hunter. He's like the guy in Edgar Wright's running man McCone, but he hunts spawns, and he says, I love the spell of necroplastic in the morning. [00:47:08] Speaker B: Does he also have a whole bunch of, like, spawn scalps hanging from his belt? [00:47:12] Speaker A: Yes, but it's like, no. He has the movie Spawn's head on his belt. [00:47:18] Speaker B: Johnny, I think you just pitched an Angela movie. [00:47:21] Speaker A: Spawn Hunter, we'll call him in honor of Spawn Hunter. You can call him Spawn Hunter. [00:47:27] Speaker B: And her name is Ty. So that way they don't have to pay. No gaming anything. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:47:32] Speaker B: Apparently Tyrese was in Chicago recently, and, like, some. Some lady crashed into his car. And, like, he was. He was there consoling her before the em. EMTs took her away. And people were just like this. Tyrese in downtown Chicago? What the hell? [00:47:48] Speaker A: Was he eating candy? [00:47:49] Speaker B: No. No. Because he was consoling a lady who crashed into his car. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Doesn't he. The one that eats candy? [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, he is. He's Roman. [00:47:58] Speaker A: Fast and furious. Yeah, [00:48:02] Speaker B: Roman's so awesome. But then, anyway, like, while. While Shirley Johnson's there doing that. Come get some boots. Is like, hey, guess what? You know what? Playtime's over. This was. This was all a test. And Shirley's just like, what? What? This was a test? This was some fucking. This was some fucking bullshit. What the fuck? What the hell? And then Vox and Simon Pure are like, yeah. [00:48:27] Speaker A: What the hell? [00:48:28] Speaker B: That was just a fucking child. [00:48:29] Speaker A: Yeah. What the hell are you doing to her? [00:48:31] Speaker B: The boots. Boots. Just like. I remember a long time ago, I told a friend that there was a child who would come to save everyone. I think that she might be the child. And it surely punches him, right? [00:48:45] Speaker A: And it says, C. Spawn 75. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't read it. I probably should. [00:48:48] Speaker A: I couldn't. I. My compendiums are somewhere I can't access right now. [00:48:52] Speaker B: Dang. But yeah. She punches him in the nose and she says, my name's Shirley. Not the girl, not child, not spark. Shirley Johnson. And she's like, none of y' all are different from anybody else. You think you. You think you're saving me? No, no, no, no. I'll save me. I'll find hope. [00:49:09] Speaker A: And then she says something really emo. Heroes are just villains wearing masks. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Oh, hell, Johnny. That's so deep. Hell, yeah. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. That's something. That's. That's in like a sophomore English paper right there. [00:49:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:49:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I probably. I probably wrote something like that. [00:49:27] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:49:28] Speaker B: Ooh, I. I think I have some of my old high school papers on my computer still. I should. [00:49:32] Speaker A: Why. [00:49:33] Speaker B: I should go. [00:49:34] Speaker A: This should burn them. [00:49:36] Speaker B: It's just. I mean, when you save documents, you just. When you get a new computer, you just transfer over. And so it's. [00:49:41] Speaker A: Right. [00:49:41] Speaker B: Like, you don't. You don't go through the digital clutter because it's not taking up physical space. And with. [00:49:47] Speaker A: Right. [00:49:47] Speaker B: All this shit now. And so. But Shirley Johnson's just like, I didn't pick any of this. Hell is my home now, and I'm gonna fight for it if you get in my way. Fuck you. The crimson seraph's like, I am liking this chat. This Shirley Johnson. [00:50:04] Speaker A: Yeah. He's respectful. [00:50:07] Speaker B: Yeah, he is. [00:50:08] Speaker A: He remembers that she doesn't like to be called the child. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And Fox is like, it doesn't matter what we want. This mess marks us all. There'll be no running from it. We must be part of it. And then Simon Pierce, like, yeah, we gotta. We gotta stand with this child. That's what God said. Stand with her. Blessed be the children of the kingdom. [00:50:26] Speaker A: Then we get a little violator shadow. [00:50:28] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:50:30] Speaker A: That's what that is. Yeah. [00:50:31] Speaker B: I think that might be Malbolia because it's got that little. [00:50:33] Speaker A: It kind of looks like my Bulgi's got the hair. [00:50:36] Speaker B: Look that looks like. That looks like a pot belly to me. Johnny. I think that's. I think that's a Malbolsha. [00:50:42] Speaker A: That's a Malbolia. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Look at that. Look at that Malbol, if you know what I mean. [00:50:48] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:50:49] Speaker B: Talking about his belly. Johnny, get your head. [00:50:51] Speaker A: I know you are. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Get your head out of the malbol. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God. What's my head doing in there? My head's going to be in the malvolge in hell on Sunday. So I'm gonna go see Hadestown. [00:51:04] Speaker B: Hadestown. Us too. I'm so excited. I'm so fucking excited. I'm so fucking excited. There's a question I'm gonna ask you afterwards. [00:51:14] Speaker A: I've never. I've never seen it. I've listened to it once, like. [00:51:16] Speaker B: Okay. Because there's a. There's a part of the. Of the soundtrack that there's one Specific thing that I say every time I happen, and apparently it also happens during the live show. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to ask you if you did it. So viewers, please remind me to ask Johnny if he said the thing that I wanted him to say. Yeah, please email us@ regarding spawnpod gmail.com to remind me to ask that. [00:51:42] Speaker A: Cam, were you watching the Cubs game or something? [00:51:46] Speaker B: Yeah. No. Johnny, what the fuck you talking about? It's blacked out because it's a local game. [00:51:53] Speaker A: Oh, right. No, yeah, it's on in Oklahoma. [00:51:56] Speaker B: You. [00:51:57] Speaker A: What do you have to have, like, what's it called? Matinee. [00:52:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it's marquee. But that's only to watch the Cubs. Then there's the Chicago Sports Network to watch everybody else. [00:52:08] Speaker A: It's up. [00:52:09] Speaker B: It's so up. [00:52:11] Speaker A: So what are they showing? [00:52:12] Speaker B: Like and sad, but every. Every game that isn't a Sox or a Cubs game or one that is blacked out nationwide. [00:52:19] Speaker A: That's crazy. They don't show them on local TV anymore. That's nuts. [00:52:22] Speaker B: Yeah, no, they don't. Like, the only one that they show [00:52:24] Speaker A: on, you listen to it on the radio. [00:52:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you can. You can. That's true. The only. The only games that they show on actual over the antenna, over the air TV anymore is the Crosstown Classic. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Then we get the spawn skull to end the issue. [00:52:37] Speaker B: Yes, we sure do. Then we get a spawning ground. Presents Creator's note. And Daniel Enriquez says it's hard to believe we're just one issue away from wrapping up our intro arc. No home here. Seriously, where the hell did time go? And now for our first Shirley Johnson cosplay. And then there's a dope Shirley Johnson cosplay there. Yeah. [00:53:02] Speaker A: The Austin Comic Con. [00:53:04] Speaker B: They even won judge's choice for best costume at Greater Austin Comic Con. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Yeah, she looks good. Yeah, she got Teddy. She looks evil. [00:53:13] Speaker B: Teddy T. Then we get the image. Classic Zed. The new generation, new stories. New you. And with Red City Sam and Twitch, Daily Tales and Spawn. The Dark Ages. And then the back of the ad, the back of the COVID ad is the Doom the Dark Ages toy of the year finalists. It's a really good looking action figure. I haven't played. I haven't played Doom since Doom two. [00:53:40] Speaker A: Okay, well, the new Dooms, they were kind of shitty for a bit, but there's like a new series that launched with Doom. Doom 2. What was it called? I don't know. [00:53:50] Speaker B: Doom again. [00:53:51] Speaker A: Something. Rise of the Doom. [00:53:53] Speaker B: Rise of the Dooms. [00:53:54] Speaker A: The Dark Ages. [00:53:57] Speaker B: Looks pretty cool. [00:53:58] Speaker A: What was it called? That's gonna bug me. I'll look it up. I played the hell out of that game. It came out like literally Doom Eternal it was called. But I remember. I remember playing the out of it because it came out in early April, 2020. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Okay, well, I don't. [00:54:18] Speaker A: Same day as Animal Crossing. [00:54:19] Speaker B: I don't know why you would have. I don't know why you would have spent a whole lot of time playing it that year, Johnny. That seems weird. [00:54:24] Speaker A: Yeah. In 2020, who knows? [00:54:26] Speaker B: Why wouldn't you go outside and hang out at the bar and meet up with your friends? [00:54:31] Speaker A: I couldn't, David, because I live in the libtard city of Chicago. [00:54:35] Speaker B: How dare you. I'll have you know I took my ass to work every day and did COVID testing and then still got furloughed. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Hey, my restaurant worked. I was working too. Not every day. Yeah, two days a week. [00:54:52] Speaker B: But Johnny, that is the curse of Shirley Johnson number four. [00:54:57] Speaker A: You know, David, going through with you, I liked a lot more. It was confusing. We hadn't read it a while. Like it throws a lot at you. But it's good. [00:55:02] Speaker B: It does. Yeah. I had. I liked it much better the second time I read it this week than the first time. Because the first time I was like kind of. What the. What the. That's the. That's the thing about the curse of Shirley Johnson is it's fucking good. [00:55:14] Speaker A: But you don't have the whole picture. [00:55:15] Speaker B: You gotta. You gotta have that second read through. You gotta it. Yeah, it's. It's intricately crafted and so you can't just kind of bounce it. [00:55:24] Speaker A: Every line matters. Unlike the Todd McFarlane. What? I gotta wait half a day? [00:55:30] Speaker B: Wouldn't miss it for the world. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Who says that I gotta wait half a day to find like. No one talks like that. Also, everyone talks the same topic. Farlow. They're all really aggressive. [00:55:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:40] Speaker A: And they're always like, what are you talking about? What? Like they all got two. Like everyone just is the same. [00:55:45] Speaker B: They're all stuck in the early 90s. [00:55:47] Speaker A: Yeah. They're all like, look at my dick. It's huge. Did you kill my daughter? I'm gonna kill all the kids for no reason. And I'm gonna tell you that. Go tell the main character who's drunk and asleep right now, [00:55:58] Speaker B: who definitely, definitely missed his nephew's birthday well before he got drunk. Well, Johnny, Johnny, I'm glad that the puppies finally decided to settle down and not cause cause problems like they were doing earlier. [00:56:14] Speaker A: That's good. [00:56:14] Speaker B: Which means, I guess, that they're kind of good puppies. Which I guess means that it's time to rate the puppies. [00:56:19] Speaker A: It's time to rate the puppies. First up Today we have scorched 49 by Todd McFarlane. It's kind of a tale of two stories. First, you get the little. [00:56:31] Speaker B: Both alike in dignity. [00:56:33] Speaker A: You both popped up last issue out of nowhere. And we got. [00:56:39] Speaker B: Serving no real purpose, it seems. [00:56:41] Speaker A: Well, it does. It creates another MacGuffin and world ending event, which is Plague Spawn. Just hilarious because this came out in, like, march. Didn't the 50s come out, like, a couple months earlier? So it's, like, setting up so we already know about Plague spawn because Gunslinger 50 and King Spawn 50 came out like, a month before this. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Scorch 50 was delayed a bit. Yeah. [00:57:06] Speaker A: They haven't mentioned the necklace yet, so it can't be that important anyway. Yeah, they get the necklace thing. It's just like. It's just both of these scenes are just two people wagging their dicks around, like, at the other guy. Like Maven and Redeemer. And then this robot guy in Kilgore. [00:57:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:21] Speaker A: And it's just really machismo, boring dialogue. And then he has a little side quest about his nephew's cake. [00:57:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:28] Speaker A: And gets drunk and runs out the door to go save these kids. [00:57:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Art's good, though. Yeah, art's real good. But story, I don't even know what's. I don't even know what's going on. [00:57:44] Speaker A: I'm gonna give it a 2. I can't give it to Jessica Priest butts. [00:57:48] Speaker B: I mean, you could. You could. [00:57:50] Speaker A: Two butt cheeks. My butt cheeks. [00:57:52] Speaker B: You can give it. You could give it. Two brothers going out with the same lady. [00:57:57] Speaker A: Is that what you're gonna give it? [00:57:58] Speaker B: No, that's not what I was gonna give it. [00:58:00] Speaker A: That's what I'm gonna give it. Two brothers without the same lady. [00:58:02] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [00:58:02] Speaker A: One of them's a ghost, and one of them. [00:58:04] Speaker B: One of them had a child. [00:58:06] Speaker A: That's gotta be confusing. [00:58:07] Speaker B: This is so weird. Here's your uncle. Uncle? Kind of. Stepdad. [00:58:15] Speaker A: There's a Christmas movie like that with Danny and Keaton the. The family stone. And they all just switch spouses. It's so fucking weird. [00:58:21] Speaker B: I've never seen that movie. [00:58:23] Speaker A: It was on TV this Christmas. Last Christmas. [00:58:25] Speaker B: This Christmas. [00:58:27] Speaker A: Fucking Christmas again. [00:58:28] Speaker B: Don't. Don't even, Johnny. My brain isn't prepared for that. Well, I'm gonna give it. I'm Gonna give it a beer and a shot. So 1.5. [00:58:38] Speaker A: Does he have a beer and a shot? [00:58:39] Speaker B: Well, no, but there is a beer and this guy's ordering another shot. So there's a beer. [00:58:44] Speaker A: He probably had a beer and a shot. A Chicago handshake, as you say, or. [00:58:48] Speaker B: Or a boilermaker as most people call it. That's, that's, that's, that's the. Go to a beer and a shot. Get something to get something to get the mojo going and then something just chill out on. [00:59:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:01] Speaker B: Fucking love a beer in a shot. [00:59:03] Speaker A: Yep. That. [00:59:03] Speaker B: It's a classic combo. Yeah. Art, Good story. The. [00:59:09] Speaker A: It's just that good ass scores we were getting like leading up to this. [00:59:12] Speaker B: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It was so good. And then it was just like there's a. There's a thing off the coast of Portland. Heroes are real all in the same for like six months. [00:59:26] Speaker A: And then we have. Oh God, I actually picked up kingspawn52. It's so good. [00:59:31] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. [00:59:32] Speaker A: And then we have Chris Julie Johnson, number four, which. I love the art, I love the characters. I love the world building. Like I said, it always takes me to go through to really get it, I guess. [00:59:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:41] Speaker A: I really liked it going through with you just now. And like it's just. Everything feels like it probably has this awesome backstory, like every character and they're all so well designed. [00:59:51] Speaker B: Yeah, it feels like, it feels like they thought about what was happening. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Right. [00:59:58] Speaker B: Built an actual story. Irrational. [01:00:00] Speaker A: They didn't. Just something out at 8 o' clock on Thursday night when it's due at midnight. [01:00:05] Speaker B: Todd McFarlane is 50 something years old and he's still pulling all nighters trying to finish his goddamn books. [01:00:11] Speaker A: Yeah, he's too busy watching baseball. [01:00:14] Speaker B: Ridiculous. We love you, Todd. We love you, Todd. [01:00:17] Speaker A: We love you, Todd. [01:00:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean this art fucking rips, Johnny. [01:00:22] Speaker A: Oh, it's amazing. I mean, just. It tickles the imagination. [01:00:25] Speaker B: It's so good. I think, I think that's part of why I don't understand it very much the first time I read through because I'm just like, whoa. [01:00:31] Speaker A: Well, I love how our little character, a little quartet of four or five people, heroes here being characters. They're also varied looking because like you get the score ship there. Like Sketchcraft was complaining about it. They all wear red. They all look the same. [01:00:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:00:46] Speaker A: So it's really hard to like. It's nice that we have this variety of shapes and sizes and glowing colors. [01:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:51] Speaker A: All the spawns, they're all red and black. And they all glow green, so it's like really hard to like. [01:00:56] Speaker B: Yeah, you gotta. You gotta, like, emphasize the hat or the hair or, you know, the cape. Yeah, they're all very unique and different. It's good. [01:01:07] Speaker A: I'm gonna give it four. I don't know. You go first. I can't think of it. [01:01:11] Speaker B: I'm gonna. Johnny. I'm gonna go for the obvious. I'm gonna give her four shapes of the demons she carries. Oh, necroplasm. Because that's a fucking badass double page, two page spread. [01:01:24] Speaker A: I'm gonna give it four hairs of the chinny chin chin of Malbolge's shadow. [01:01:28] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. Oh, boy, I fucking love that little. That hellish goatee, man. I miss our Jheri curled. [01:01:36] Speaker A: Boy, he's glorious in some of those 90s spreads. That's truly glorious. [01:01:42] Speaker B: Kaka. [01:01:43] Speaker A: He's got the Egon hair from, like, the fucking. [01:01:46] Speaker B: From the real Ghostbusters. [01:01:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:48] Speaker B: Or is this like a tube? [01:01:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that shit's crazy. Let's do that. Because, like, what is it like in the movie? Like a guy. Yeah, like, let's give him a tube hair. Red glasses. My brother got red glasses when he was a kid because he liked Egon so much. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Oh, nice. That's exciting. [01:02:07] Speaker A: Well, I like Egon. [01:02:08] Speaker B: Yeah, Egon's fun. [01:02:09] Speaker A: My favorite was obviously always Venkman or Ray. I liked Ray. [01:02:12] Speaker B: I. I was a nerd. So Egan was definitely my. Egom was definitely my favorite. Or. Or Winston. Yeah. Because I like. Awesome. I like how he just, like, shows up. He's just like, I just need a job, you guys. Hire. What is this? [01:02:28] Speaker A: What are you. Great. He's great. And the newer ones, he's like, one of the better. He's like, more. Because he's like, the only one that can still, like, move and act. I think he's the only one that kept working. [01:02:37] Speaker B: I love. I love that he's just like. Like, it's a weird job. And he's just like a blue worker, a blue collar worker who was just like, you got a fucking job? Because I'll do some shit. [01:02:47] Speaker A: When he's explaining everything to him, he's like, if it has a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. [01:02:54] Speaker B: If someone asks if you're a God, you say yes. [01:02:59] Speaker A: It's Miller time. [01:03:02] Speaker B: I should watch that movie again. I haven't seen it in a while. [01:03:05] Speaker A: It's really. [01:03:05] Speaker B: I wonder if it holds up. [01:03:06] Speaker A: They're all good. [01:03:08] Speaker B: Who brought the dog? [01:03:09] Speaker A: This. [01:03:10] Speaker B: This is a this is a dog free building. [01:03:13] Speaker A: Okay, who brought the dog? Well, I always thought the spread of dips and carrots and chips looked so good. [01:03:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:24] Speaker A: At his apartment party, the dog just lands on the snack table and breaks it. [01:03:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:28] Speaker A: Those dogs are terrifying. [01:03:32] Speaker B: Frightening. [01:03:32] Speaker A: The part that freaked me out is when Sigourney Weaver's on the chair and the hands come out and like, hold [01:03:36] Speaker B: her down and like, like, drag her into the. Yeah. [01:03:40] Speaker A: And then she becomes a dog. [01:03:41] Speaker B: Yeah. There is no Dana. [01:03:44] Speaker A: The very nice lady who paid in advance is now a dog. [01:03:53] Speaker B: Well, Johnny, that was. Sure that that was those puppies rated and they were pretty good. And you know what else is pretty good, Johnny? [01:04:01] Speaker A: Our music. [01:04:02] Speaker B: Our music. Our music is done by Lonnie Bones. Yes, Google Lonnie Bones. But that's not where. That's not exactly where I was going. I was gonna say the spot. Immunity is great, Johnny. [01:04:09] Speaker A: Oh, duh. I forgot to order. [01:04:11] Speaker B: And this. This week we're gonna. We're gonna be. We're gonna be Lazytown and we're going to shout out the cosplayer from the back of the Curse of Shirley. [01:04:18] Speaker A: Can you play Lazy Town? So I'm editing this episode. You. I'm playing a Lazy Town song. We're not number one. Hey, it's a piece of cake. [01:04:26] Speaker B: To pick a piece of cake. I like, I like. You are a pirate. [01:04:34] Speaker A: Being a pirate is all right with me. Do what you want cuz a pirate is free. You are a pirate. [01:04:40] Speaker B: You are a pirate. [01:04:42] Speaker A: We got us a map. A map. I have the song memorized. [01:04:46] Speaker B: It's a good song. It's a banger. Lazy town's [01:04:53] Speaker A: a pirate is all right with me. Do what you want cuz a pirate is free. You are a pirate. [01:04:59] Speaker B: Blue sky above and blue ocean below. You are a pirate. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's great. It's great. But anyway, shouting out the cosplayer from the Christopher Shirley Johnson and their handle is a zumizumi. That is a Z u M I Z u m I I. And they're on Instagram and they cosplay a lot of stuff, Johnny. They got the Silent Hill nurses there. They got a whole bunch of creepy stuff. They cosplay as a lot of like zombie and demon and stuff. And you know, they've obviously got the Shirley Johnson and they got some dinosaur bones and they got a picture of a little puppy. They got a little puppy. [01:05:43] Speaker A: All those crazy elephant bones. [01:05:45] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, oh. Okay. I thought they degloved a finger, but it's FX Wax. Oh. Oh, geez. Oh, it's just like, oh, boy, oh, boy. But no, no. That good as hell. Hell, yeah. Azumizumi Zoomizumi. [01:06:02] Speaker A: While you're on the Internet, make sure to look up Lonnie Bones like we said. If you want to reach out to us. We are. Regarding swampodmail.com. [01:06:08] Speaker B: yes, we are. [01:06:09] Speaker A: We occasionally post on Instagram at. Regarding Swampod. Yes, on Instagram. Yes, reach us there, too. And we love you. [01:06:19] Speaker B: Yes, we do. Very much do. Because we're a duo. A duo. [01:06:27] Speaker A: What does the duo do? [01:06:28] Speaker B: A pair of lonely ones. That was meant to be a two. [01:06:32] Speaker A: What is that? [01:06:33] Speaker B: It's from An American Tale. It's Fievel and it's. It's Fievel and Tiger. Yeah, the first one. [01:06:40] Speaker A: No. Okay. I just know that one. That's like, she left her sister in Alabama from the second one. You don't talk about kiss your sister goodbye. The mouse things at the saloon. [01:06:54] Speaker B: Wanda and I always just randomly think of. Can't you see you're on a mousetrap? [01:07:02] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [01:07:02] Speaker B: Just randomly give him the lazy eye. [01:07:07] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [01:07:08] Speaker B: I need to go watch that, too. Shit. I'm gonna have, like, a nostalgia film fest. But. But before I do that, Johnny, I gotta read what we're gonna read for next week, so that way I can enjoy my movies in peace and I have to worry about it. [01:07:21] Speaker A: So we could be a duo. [01:07:23] Speaker B: Yeah. A pair of lonely ones that were meant to read two issues of Spawn. [01:07:28] Speaker A: Oh, what are we reading? [01:07:30] Speaker B: Well, we're gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna do the best duo, Johnny. We're going to do Rhett City and Salmon Twitch 22s. We love those Rhett City 22. Salmon Twitch case files number 22. Get it? [01:07:42] Speaker A: That's a lot of twos. [01:07:44] Speaker B: 22-222. That's very much like the. That fucking ambulance chaser that's up here. 222222. Learner and Ro. Is that who it is? [01:07:56] Speaker A: Called 222 2? Their song's terrible, too. It's just like, call 2, Learner and Row. Call 222-22-22. [01:08:03] Speaker B: Yeah, it's Learner and Row. [01:08:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:07] Speaker B: 222-22-22. Man. [01:08:10] Speaker A: I just got a notification that my disc space is almost full. [01:08:12] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [01:08:13] Speaker A: So we should wrap it up. [01:08:14] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. Well, not. [01:08:15] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [01:08:16] Speaker B: How dare you, Johnny? [01:08:18] Speaker A: But no. [01:08:19] Speaker B: Yeah, well, Johnny, let's read those. Read Rat City 22, Sam and Twitch case files number 22, and come back next week when Johnny has more disc space and you'll hear us talk about them, so. [01:08:30] Speaker A: Exactly. And more disk space in my brain. [01:08:32] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Oh, we need that brain disc space. So, Johnny, in that way. In that case, I have run out of disc space of things to say. Except for may the scorch be with you. [01:08:45] Speaker A: And also with you, David. [01:08:46] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. [01:08:47] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. Funny thing I just remembered was I was in 10th grade, I think, when Apocalypse Now Redo Redux came out. His director's cut. They released the theaters. I saw it. Amc. My friend Josh Spears dad took us. We went to the 10pm show. It was the first movie I ever fell asleep in in 10th grade. [01:09:08] Speaker B: I was like, what time did that get out? At like 2:00am 1. [01:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, why are we about. At 10, man? They're like talking to the French colonists. I'm like, I'm out. Like, you could tell the scenes that were deleted because I watched the original later. Like, you don't want to cut all that. That's where I fell asleep. [01:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. That's insane. It's a coolest. Anyway, It's a cool friend's dad, I hope. [01:09:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, he was cool. He had a dear steer. [01:09:32] Speaker B: Was that this? Was this. Was this would have been the 90s. Was it a right or a left? [01:09:36] Speaker A: I don't remember which is which. Don't. I knew you would just say that. Like that meant anything. It's like, people like, you know, sagging your pants is from prison culture. Means you want to have sex with dudes. Like, that's. That's not true. [01:09:48] Speaker B: This. That's. I mean, there's a lot of. There's a lot of subtle messaging amongst all of the different groups of people who do whatever, but that doesn't mean it's universal. Shit. Yeah. Shit, fuck, shit, piss, cock, [01:10:10] Speaker A: Butthole.